words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are drinking coffee and Phoebe notices a cute guy checking them out.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! That guy at the counter is totally checking you out!
Monica: Oh, I havent had that feeling since I first started going out with Chandler. Wow, Im never gonna have that feeling again am I?
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Jake: All right. Bye. (Backs out the door.)
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Rachel: Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?!
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
Monica: Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that Im not gonna have and its freaking me out. I dont know what to do about it.
Phoebe: Okay, dont sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guys cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.)
Monica: You gotta help me out here Pheebs.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell Chandler! Hurry before its too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean putting out doesnt get you love? (Monica is shocked.)
Monica: Doesnt it ever just freak you out that-that youre never gonna be with anybody new again?
[Scene: Rosss classroom, he has just finished his lecture and the students are filing out.]
Rachel: Ill be out in a second.
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Joey: Yeah!Hey, you just have to promise not to get yourself thrown out again.
(Joey comes out from his room, yawning)
Joey: You slept out here?
Chandler: Oh yes, sir! Put me out of my misery. Are you sure you never played pro? (Does his work laugh.) (To Monica) Please let them win!
Chandler: Yeah, well, I miss the tip! It's the best part. It has the nail. (He storms out.)
Amy: Ella wanted to go out, so we went shopping and got some sushi.
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Amy: You're kicking me out?
[Scene: Another Waiting Room, Phoebe and Joey are trying to find out where the guy with the broken leg is.]
Ross: No, no, really. You should go. Just go! Go! Go out! Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up the heels. Paint the town red. (Slang right?)
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
JOEY: Thanks.� (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall.� Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.)� Here's your ticket.
Joey: Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.
Chandler: C'mon, we're roommates! (He goes into the bathroom, screams, and runs back out.) My eyes!! My eyes!!
(Joey comes out of his room)
Ross: (Yelling) Get out! (Benjamin leaves)
Mike: Okay. Do you think maybe sometime I could take you out?
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!
Ross: Oh, that's OK. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there.
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
Chandler: No, the babys out! Look, look!
(She goes out into the hall and when shes there and the door is closed; she rips off her robe to reveal her work clothes.)
Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh..." Spit it out, David!
MONICA: Really? Weird. Anyway, see, I planned everything really well. I planned and I planned and I planned. It just turns out, I don't think I planned enough time to actually do it.
Rachel: Ross, c'mon, please. Can we just get out of here, before somebody else gets hurt?
Joey: Ugh, I cannot wait to ask her out!
Rachel: Irrational, huh? All right, well, I’ll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment!
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)
Chandler: Oh yeah! Okay, lets play again. (He deals out two cards each again.) What do you got?
(Rachel comes out of her apartment}
Ross: (Reading the note) We know you're out there. (Rachel gasps)
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
Assistant: Yeah, but you're back's a zero. You're gonna wanna even that out.
Ross: Yeah! Let's go out.
Joey: Yknow what? Why dont you just give us our souvenirs and get the hell out of here?
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, he is entering out of breath.]
Phoebe: Oh, look look look. The last candle's about to burn out. 10, 9, 8, 7... (time lapse)... negative 46, negative 47, negative 48.... (someone blows it out, the room gets completely dark)
Mike: Oh, figuring out our wedding plans.
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross comes out and hugs Mrs. Geller.]
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Phoebe (walking to Ross carrying a black leather jacket): Hey, check this out! It’s totally you!
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I just bring it out in him.
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Chandler: No. He.....hes coming out of his shorts.
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Rachel: (clearly not listening and still trying to find out where Joey went) Uh-huh... right... yeah...
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Rachel: Oh, ah nothin. I just felt like hangin out here and reading.
Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!
Ross: Um, you know, just out of curiosity...
MONICA: Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice.
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone is hanging out with Phoebe. Frank, Alice, and the kids aren't there.]
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Chandler: Not a lot of closet space, but he can just hang his stuff out the window in a bag!
Chandler: Awesome, the name really stands out.
Ross: Dude, I was gonna ask her out.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is still investigating the smoke detector trying to figure out how to stop the beeping.]
Phoebe: (feels his arm) Yeah the material feels so softhello Mr. Bicep! Have you been working out?
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Monica: (laughs) You are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it and move on! It's nothing to freak out about.
Rachel: Well look, if you dont like this (The audiences laughter at Chandlers progress cuts out the rest of Rachels line.)
Joey: Ok! Stop it you guys! Stop staring! You're freaking me out!
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Roy: (out of breath) Have to...
Joey: Things that go "tssst" when you put them out.
Monica: Ooh... she backed out.
Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.)
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Phoebe: That’s it? That’s why you won’t go out with her again? So, she took some fries, big deal!
Phoebe: All right. Well, don't worry, I call shotgun! (She starts out the door.)
Issac: Aw, no problem dude. Y'know we got to look out for each other. Were the same, you and me.
Kathy's Co-Star: Oh, yeah! Ooh, thats nice. (They start making out harder.)
(Joey comes out from his room)
Phoebe: Did he go out for a cigarette?
Ross: Freaked out? Hey no, Im not freaked out! Im indignant! As a consumer!
Chandler: Well its just my entire family was run out of Scotland by Vikings. Anyway, lots of bad memories. (Makes a few unintelligible noises.)
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
Rachel: Uh-huh. No, I hear what youre saying and-and-and that makes a lot of sense but can I just say one more thing? (Takes out his picture.) Look how pretty!
Janice: Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty.
Ross: Hey, I was looking out for you.
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Monica: Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is.
Rachel: Not stupid. The very cute, cute, cute doctors asked us out for tomorrow night, and I said "yes."
Phoebe: Yeah. I was just in there. He introduced himself and the next thing I know, were making out. You know.
Ross: It's actually kinda interesting to find out what people are doing... remember Andrea Rich?
Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Joey: What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years.
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
Joey: Boy I tell ya, that judging stuff took a lot out of me.