words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are making out on one of the chairs.]
(They wait for Joey to go into his room and close the door and then start making out again.)
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
(The single light flickers and goes out. Leaving the room in total darkness.)
(She starts to run out but is stopped by a figure looming out of the darkness carrying a pick axe.)
(Rachel grabs the bug bomb, activates it, throws it at the figure, and they both run out through the fog.)
Rachel: What? Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature! Not nature, fashion!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, the gang is helping Ross move out by carrying boxes. Chandler has picked a particularly large and apparently heavy box, because he takes a running start at it and still can't budge it.]
Joey: Ohh. Hey, remember when I ran into this thing (The shutters that close off the kitchen.) and it kinda knocked me out a little?
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
Phoebe: I think he's right. You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much.
Joey: Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out! (He glares at Chandler.)
Rachel: So from that you think you've got me all figured out? Well, you don't! Y'know I-I could have toys for underprivileged kids in here!
Joey: Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you.
Phoebe: Okay, now you're just taking lines right out of the song!
Rachel: Yeah, y'know I-I think I'm just gonna hang out in my room.
Rachel: Come on you guys! Listen, if Emily knew I was here having dinner you with you she would flip out and you know it. It's okay, I really I don't mind.
[Time lapse, dinner is now finished and Ross is looking out the window.]
Monica: Wow, this is so weird. I just realized this might be the last time we'll all be hanging out together.
Ross: Emily that's ridiculous. Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends out of my life for you. Please, just get on the plane and come to New York. Okay, you'll see you're the only person I want to be with.
Monica: Okay! Okay, let's race! First one there wins! Ha-ha! (Runs out the door and everyone watches her leave.)
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Joey: That would be Casey. Were going out tonight.
Rachel: Just get out! Now!!
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Joey: Hey, Im with you. He even asked me if I thought youd go out with him.
Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you.
Monica: Were hanging out.
[The first clip is from The One Where Rachel Finds Out.]
Joey: Wait! Terry! Please! Look, I just lost my other job. Okay? You have no idea how much I need this. Please, help me out, for old times sake.
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
Monica: Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Ross: No, no, thats funny. But maybe its time to move on, let it go, yknow? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeths father, so ah, hes much older than she is. Looks like Im not the only one interested in fossils, huh?
Rachel: Yeah! Once, I figure out what I'm wearing.
Emily: My uncle dragged us there. But, it actually it turned out to be really interesting.
Monica: Is this the one that I threw out last year?
[Scene: Joey and now Rachel's apartment, Joey has the fridge pulled out away from the wall and is in the process of pulling off the cooling grate behind it.]
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Chandler: Yeah all right, so well hang out.
RACHEL: [holding a pillow made out of 4 inch red fur] Hey, nice pillow. So now tell me, is this genuine Muppet skin?
[Chandler puts a coin in the mini jukebox at the table. YMCA starts playing and Monica and the rest of the staff have to get on the counter and start singing along and dancing. After a couple of couruses, Chandler pulls out a handful of coins and drops them on the table.]
Monica: No. No, just, just, just a couple more boxes. It-it-its no big deal, all right, Im-Im cool. You gotta help me out with a couple more boxes!
Big Nosed Rachel: Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over
CHANDLER: Oh, that's OK, we'll figure something out.
Phoebe: Yeah, I saw the article on your coffee table and I memorized the title to freak you out!
Chandler: (laughs) Okay, we have to talk. Im just getting out of a very serious relationship
Rachel: See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
Joey: (smiling) Okay, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out.
Phoebe: Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out.
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.
(Joey sticks his head out of the shower curtain.)
Rachel: Well, now, wait. Now Im all freaked out. Come on, you guys will watch it with me.
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!
Ross: Is that why in junior high you were the only one that hung out with that Ukrainian kid?
Monica: Yes Phoebe, but this is all I have. Okay? (She pours out the rest of her change purse into the bucket.)
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Chandler: Out loud?
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Rachel: Hi. Sorry, things arent working out so well.
Monica: (entering) Hey, guys. Im here to pick out my Christmas tree.
Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Monica: No, I cant afford this either. No. I-I-Im, Im just to figure out which one I want then Im gonna get it at Kleinmans, this discount place in Brooklyn, day after tomorrow they are having a huge sale.
Ross: Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.'
Monica: Im changing out of this.
Chandler: No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey, heres the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, Im gonna be moving out man.
Chandler: For the last time no! Get out! Get out, Joey!
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
RACH: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
Joey: Pheebs! Youre blocking the porn! Look out!
Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas...
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Gunther: (To the guy) Get out!
Phoebe: Hey. Guess what! My landlord just called and my apartment is gonna get ready soon, so I guess I'll be moving out.
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
FBOB: [pulls out a flask] Whattaya say we make these, uh, coffees Irish?
Monica: Its out on the island. Its in Massapequa.
(There's a pause as they figure out what to say.)
Joey: Look, were not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own hands!
Frank: (To Phoebe) Hey! Am I late? Am I late? Nobody came out yet, right?
Rachel: Anyway, they want to take us out Saturday night! What do you say?
Joey: Ohh, get these things out of me!
Monica: When Mom and Dad drove you to the hospital to get your nose fixed, I swam into the lake and fished it out.
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
Monica: Oh my God, are you out of a job?
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Monica: Come on! (The girls all run out and Joey holds up Chandler by smiling.)
Joey: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!
Monica: Have you ever taken out the trash? (Hands her the garbage.)
Monica: Oh my God! Hes gonna rat me out!
JOEY: Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got.
Joey: But it's dark out.
Monica: No, she's out shopping.
Gunther: Well, I wouldnt call her a star, but shes really good. You should check out Inspecther Gadget.
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
Chandler: Oh-no, yknow with Gandolf wed be out all night!
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Ross: Ah Ah Get out of here! (The couple retreats. Ross starts looking through the previously mentioned book as a beautiful woman walks into the section.) Uh, meeting someone? Or-or are you just here to brush up on Marions views on evolution?
Rachel: No, God! Please, let me! (Runs out.)
(In the meantime, Rachel has returned with the perfume and sprays a mist out in front of Phoebe who walks through the mist and does a little spin.)
Monica: (getting out) No, Rachel never pees in public restrooms.
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming cause, cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like hes been processed by the devil, or something.)
Joey: Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.
Chandler: What?! (Monica kicks him in the shin.) Ow! (He gets out of bed and heads into the living room.)
Ross: Emily's cousin kicked me out!
Chandler: I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Susie are making out on the couch.]
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Phoebe: (shocked) Youve never asked a guy out?!!