words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross their bills.]
Phoebe: Yeah Joey that is so gross!
Phoebe: (giggles) Im pretty.
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?
Phoebe: Never mind, I got it.
Phoebe: Of course, yeah!
Phoebe: Ooh, I like cards.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Phoebe: I would love that job!
Jill: No! They did! (Points to Phoebe and Ross)
Phoebe and Ross: Yeah, we went shopping!
Phoebe: Sorry Jill.
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Phoebe: And, and then I got uh, these are apartment pants.
Phoebe: Yeah, you never heard of them?
Phoebe: What about, what about when I said yknow about the apartment pants, how dumb was I?
Phoebe: (gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why dont I sit here and youll both stop it!
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Umm, I think theres something you should maybe know.
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Phoebe: Yeah I mean its probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Okay then.
Phoebe: But great news about the apartment pants, huh?
Rachel: I just, Phoebe, said yknow thought she saw something between you guys.
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Phoebe: Okay. (Goes over to Rachel.) Hey Rach?
Phoebe: Hi!
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Phoebe: Who the hell are all these people?
Phoebe: You were supposed to tell her!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm sorry, thank you for my azzz.
Phoebe and Rachel: (to each other) I dont know.
Phoebe: No offence but, yknow sometimes its hard to understand you, yknow with the accent, so
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Phoebe are reading a scene from Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Phoebe: Fine, Ill go call her.
Phoebe: Its so weird, I have never been fired from anything before!
Phoebe: Youre just so mean to each other! And I dont want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Phoebe: We ruined everything.
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Yay! I love drunk Monica!
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
Phoebe: I will tell you as soon as you thank me for writing my book.
Phoebe: (in her head) Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! Shes not your cousin!
Rachel: Oh My God, Phoebe, thats not Ralph Lauren. Thats Kenny the copy guy.
Phoebe: Sur-surprise.
PHOEBE: Oh yeah, it'll be fun. [throws a tennis ball at Eddie's bedroom door]
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
Phoebe: Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I got married! (everyone applauds) Could someone get me a coat, I'm freaking freezing.
Phoebe: Joeys!
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: Lusts of the flesh.
Phoebe: What is this? Whats going on?
Phoebe: (laughs) Yeah, Im sure that happened.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: To Ross.
Phoebe: So... now... What about with Mike's mom?
[Scene: A restaurant, Melissa, Rachel, and Phoebe are talking.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table, talking.]
Phoebe: Really?!
Rachel: Thank you Phoebe.
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: Cut her out of our lives! Just ignore her calls and dodge her 'till she gets the point!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is watching Bert and Ernie with Ben.]
Phoebe: Thousands of times!! That doesnt make me sound too good does it?
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Phoebe: Oh we do, but not just yet.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Well, its better than us deciding.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah! (Monica glares at her.)
Phoebe: Oh, somewhere Joeys head is exploding.
Phoebe: All right. Although I dont think we need one, I never stopped loving you.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah, youre right. Hows the Mrs.?
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Ross: Phoebe thats not true.
Phoebe: Well, if you really wanna know, I'mOh! I can't tell you this.
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Phoebe: They live on the upper east side on Park Avenue!
Phoebe: Yeah, if you get married in Vegas, youre only married in Vegas.
Phoebe: Oh, if thats what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table.
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!
Rachel: Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!!
Phoebe: YOU KNOW?!!!
Phoebe: No. No! Yes! Ahh. Oh, would you look at that Monica? I just knocked off all of your top scores, how sad.
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
Phoebe: OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
[Time lapse, Phoebe is playing the guitar for Joey.]
Phoebe: So. This has always been Monicas bed, what youre just noticing now, how self-involved are you?
Phoebe and Rachel: Ohhh!!!
Chandler: Phoebe knows about us!
Phoebe: No!
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
Joey: Uhhh, Phoebe and Joey.
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
Monica: (Start annoying hyper-competitive mode now.) (Jumping up) What don't you just calm down Phoebe! All right?! Why dont you just get all your facts before you run around telling everybody that you're the only hot couple!!
Phoebe: Okay, it just seems pretty wild and youre soyknow so vanilla.
Phoebe: Ooh.
Phoebe: And why not?!
Phoebe: You're-you're what?!
Phoebe: (starts to leave, but stops) Oh and Chandlers about to cry.
Phoebe: Hey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Monica: Phoebe, Im engaged!
Rachel: (humoring Phoebe) Oh my God, he dream-cheated on you!
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
Phoebe: We're moving in together! Isn't it great! Yay!
Phoebe: Ooh, I think I wanna trade circles.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading a magazine as Tim enters.]
Phoebe: Hey sweetie!
Phoebe: Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Dont-dont hurt the puppy.
Phoebe: (sips it) Its so good. (Monica and Rachel breath a sigh of relief.) Oh, thanks.
PHOEBE: No. This is what I do for luck, ok.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah!