words in movies
Chandler: And your friend Phoebe?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
(Phoebe quietly wanders in, to join the tableau.)
Phoebe: Hey, what's going on?
Phoebe: (Delighted) oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! (Thrilled) You found Betty! Oh my god! (Hugging people) This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room, (still happy) Where's Joey?
(Betty waggles her fingers to say "Hi", but Phoebe feels her birthday has been ruined by her twin.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica sit round the coffee table, playing Scrabble. Rachel, still in her dressing gown, is pleading on the phone, her free hand shaking with agitation.]
Phoebe: Trouble?
Phoebe: Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Um you, you got a minute?
Phoebe: So.
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Phoebe: Um, oh, I got you a birthday present.
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
(She laughs at the childhood memory. Phoebe smiles at being able to make her point.)
Phoebe: Right, like the kind you...
Phoebe: How'd you know I was coming?
(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.)
Phoebe: I can't believe you did this.
(Phoebe opens the box, to find something familiar inside.)
Phoebe: I can't believe you... (holding up Joey's cardigan) ..did this.
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
Phoebe: Does he know?
Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.
Phoebe: You got me.
Phoebe: So, um, are you gonna call him?
Phoebe: No, Joey.
Phoebe: No. No food with a face.
Phoebe: Yeah, you too.
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
(Phoebe nods as he stands up in delight.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...
Phoebe: (as Ursula) I'm sorry.
(Phoebe is almost thrown by this.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula): Yeah, um... (nervously clears her throat) You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
(He sinks to the sofa, saddened by Ursula's ultimatum, while Phoebe follows, touched by Joey's good heart.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) You know... (unconsciously putting a hand on his knee) You're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
(He looks up at her face and Phoebe, slipping out of character, smiles back at him. Joey's voice becomes soft and warm.)
Phoebe: Really?
(Phoebe smiles, when Joey takes her face in his hands and kisses her. Joey gets up to leave but stops suddenly. Phoebe silently shouts "Oh, whoa!!" to herself, and leans back in the sofa to recover, a hand to her tingling lips. A thoughtful Joey is also feeling his lips, so he hesitates for a moment, then returns for a better view, he thinks again, cocking his head from side to side to regard her profile from various angles, then...)
Phoebe: (Automatically) Yeah. Oooh... (she's sprung.)
(The door bursts open, and Joey and Phoebe rush in.)
Phoebe: Is he alright?
Phoebe: Mike?? Who's Mike?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe.
Phoebe: Not Joey.
[Scene: Shop, Rachel, Charlie and Phoebe walk in]
Phoebe: What are the chances? 1 billion Chinese people and they send Mike!?
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Phoebe: Yeah?
[Time lapse, Phoebe is asleep, Joeys driving and having a hard time staying awake.]
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe tonight!
Phoebe: I would, but I get my morning sickness in the evening.
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
Phoebe: Wow? Really? That's fantastic!
Phoebe: That's like the third time that lady's won on a machine I was playing.
Credits [Scene: Central Perk. Russ enters. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! Oh, Ive got-Ive got goose bumps. (She holds out her arm.)
Chandler: Phoebe is going to say "yes"? That's, that's great!
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Phoebe: Ooh, and treat it is. (Monica�s breasts.)
(Phoebe and David walk in)
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh, I have... something I wanna say.
Phoebe: Sure, ok, yeah.
Phoebe: Oh my God, Mike!
Phoebe: No, Mike's here.
Mike: Hi Phoebe.
Phoebe: What are you, what are you doing here?
David: Phoebe, will you marry me?
Phoebe: Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!!
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Phoebe: David, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would have been wrong.
Phoebe: Yes! (they hug)
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Phoebe & Mike: Yeah! (they leave)
Monica: ... Phoebe...?
Phoebe: ... and...?
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Phoebe: (points to herself) Phoebe. (points to her) Phoebe. Phoebe, yeah. She named me after you I guess.
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm out.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Did you know this about him?
Phoebe: Mike, you don't know, you don't know what you're doing!
Phoebe: Tails!
Phoebe: (smiling proudly) He was a lawyer!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.]
(Phoebe and Mary Ellen enter.)
Phoebe: So! Ross doesnt really decorate his tree with floss, but you dont hear him complaining do you? God! (Phoebe hits her guitar which wakes up Ross with a start.)
Phoebe: (to Mike) Ok Mike, better come back Mike, better come back.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Phoebe: Mike wins?
Phoebe: You can't do that!
Phoebe: It's like watching porn!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is getting out linens for Cassie who is in the bathroom.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Is that Ross?
Phoebe: And maybe I could teach Ben about the Christmas skull and how people die.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting up by the window because two guys have their couch.]
Phoebe: Sounds like he's with someone.
Phoebe: Get over here!
Phoebe: (whispering) Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!!!
(they start to kiss again, and Phoebe turns to Chandler and Monica)
Phoebe: They are awfully boxy...
Monica: (also hugs the wall) Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! (walks to Phoebe)
Phoebe: That's the door. He's gone...
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.
Phoebe: Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Phoebe: Now, what is this?
Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright...
Phoebe: Hey, have you guys seen Monica?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Why not?
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Phoebe: Aaah... you're not good at this...
Phoebe: For how long?
Phoebe: No, I think I can come over. It's Saturday, right?
Mike: (to Phoebe) So how've you been?
Phoebe: You have a... You have a date? With who?
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Phoebe: Ooh, that was fast.
Phoebe: Hi, Mike's place.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm, whos next?
Phoebe: (stunned) I... I'm Phoebe.
(there's knocking on the door which Phoebe opens)
Phoebe: Yknow the only reason hes marrying you is because he thinks all the things you were saying about yourself were true.
Rachel: Noooooo!! (Phoebe lifts up the sheet to discover the exact same apothecary table they have.)
Monica: I'm sorry it's just, Phoebe just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way.
[Scene: In the store. Rachel and Phoebe returning from the changing rooms]
[Scene: Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.]
Phoebe: Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie?
Phoebe: Well, I don't...
Phoebe: Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you.
Phoebe: You're welcome!
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.