words in movies
Chandler: And your friend Phoebe?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
(Phoebe quietly wanders in, to join the tableau.)
Phoebe: Hey, what's going on?
Phoebe: (Delighted) oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! (Thrilled) You found Betty! Oh my god! (Hugging people) This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room, (still happy) Where's Joey?
(Betty waggles her fingers to say "Hi", but Phoebe feels her birthday has been ruined by her twin.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica sit round the coffee table, playing Scrabble. Rachel, still in her dressing gown, is pleading on the phone, her free hand shaking with agitation.]
Phoebe: Trouble?
Phoebe: Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Um you, you got a minute?
Phoebe: So.
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Phoebe: Um, oh, I got you a birthday present.
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
(She laughs at the childhood memory. Phoebe smiles at being able to make her point.)
Phoebe: Right, like the kind you...
Phoebe: How'd you know I was coming?
(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.)
Phoebe: I can't believe you did this.
(Phoebe opens the box, to find something familiar inside.)
Phoebe: I can't believe you... (holding up Joey's cardigan) ..did this.
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
Phoebe: Does he know?
Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.
Phoebe: You got me.
Phoebe: So, um, are you gonna call him?
Phoebe: No, Joey.
Phoebe: No. No food with a face.
Phoebe: Yeah, you too.
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
(Phoebe nods as he stands up in delight.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...
Phoebe: (as Ursula) I'm sorry.
(Phoebe is almost thrown by this.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula): Yeah, um... (nervously clears her throat) You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
(He sinks to the sofa, saddened by Ursula's ultimatum, while Phoebe follows, touched by Joey's good heart.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) You know... (unconsciously putting a hand on his knee) You're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
(He looks up at her face and Phoebe, slipping out of character, smiles back at him. Joey's voice becomes soft and warm.)
Phoebe: Really?
(Phoebe smiles, when Joey takes her face in his hands and kisses her. Joey gets up to leave but stops suddenly. Phoebe silently shouts "Oh, whoa!!" to herself, and leans back in the sofa to recover, a hand to her tingling lips. A thoughtful Joey is also feeling his lips, so he hesitates for a moment, then returns for a better view, he thinks again, cocking his head from side to side to regard her profile from various angles, then...)
Phoebe: (Automatically) Yeah. Oooh... (she's sprung.)
(The door bursts open, and Joey and Phoebe rush in.)
Phoebe: Is he alright?
Phoebe: Well, what am I gonna do? I really need my guitar!
Phoebe: No you didnt.
Phoebe: Okay. (Monica closes the door, gets the guitar, and then hands it out.)
Phoebe: What?! They took mine to give to you!
Phoebe: Maybe they dont trust us.
Phoebe: Oh she was looking for you.
Phoebe: What stuff?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Did Rachel find you?
Phoebe: Well, she really wanted to talk to you now.
Phoebe: (deadpan) And?
(Phoebe and Joey trade looks)
Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe)
Phoebe: Oh sorry. (Shocked) And?!
PHOEBE: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. [singing] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!
Jake: (yelling through the window to Phoebe) I miss you already!!
Phoebe: Well why dont you use your key?
Rachel: What? Wait-wait a minute, what? Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Im having another heart attack!
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Phoebe: Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!
Phoebe: Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under it!
[Scene: continued from earlier, only now Phoebe joins them.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but not as good as batch 17.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Oh no.
Phoebe: Oh my God, youve got to stop chattering!
Phoebe: Didnt you two already talk?
Phoebe: A little bit.
Phoebe: Oh Ross.
Phoebe: Uck, look at this! Pottery Barn, yuck!
Phoebe: We, you know, we’re different! We don’t care about having a huge party. (She picks up the veil) This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? (she puts it on) And, ow, I look (she looks her reflex image on a toaster), why, well, radiant. (pause) All right, well, who cares, I don’t need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.
Phoebe: Yeah... Oh Bitsy, hi. Uhm... listen I just wanted to thank you again for having me here tonight.
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
Phoebe: Let's just say, I'm glad I'm not Chandler.
Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is.
Phoebe: Hey! So how was the doctor?
Phoebe: Good.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: So how was the honeymoon?
Phoebe: Come on in!
(Mischa does so, and Sergei complements Phoebe, and says it slowly)
Phoebe: You have got to be kidding me!
Phoebe: Monica! Thats not right! Start with where.
Phoebe: (pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
(Joey and Phoebe laugh.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings.
Phoebe: Hmm, I wonder why. Pervert!
PHOEBE: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.
Phoebe: Well, it's a problem for me, which means it's a problem for you 'cause I'm a cop. (Shows the badge.)
Phoebe: (sits down) Yeah, I feel great. 'Cause we're moving in together.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey enters with several magazines and runs up to Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Okay! Ooh-ahh, I'm gonna go pack. I'm gonna go pack my ass off!
Phoebe: No, that would be, "Why are you being cute?"
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
Phoebe: (in a very posh accent) Theodore... Bitsy... What a delight!
Joey: (To Phoebe) Im so happy!
Phoebe: Youre gonna get pregnant.
Phoebe: Ah! Oh my God! You r-r-rotten boys!
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
Phoebe: And Joey, get me a bottle of wine and glasses? (He begrudgingly does so.)
Phoebe: Dinner was good!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh, so you're Monicas boss?
Phoebe: Well, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because shes the one whos leaving. Its harder for her!
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
Phoebe: Oh you you made pesto?
Phoebe: (To Monica) I didnt see this on the menu.
Phoebe: I made it myself.
Phoebe: Well, its no pesto.
Phoebe: Because I cared enough to lie!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, Im going to be out there spreading joy to the people. I mean, last year, I spread a little joy but not really enough. So this year, Im going to do the whole city.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I can see where Id be your best shot but, no. Im sorry, but I think its twisted.
Phoebe: I dont even know how that would work!
Phoebe: Ooh Monica!
PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
Phoebe: But why?!
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
Phoebe: But Monica, he loves his job so much! Can you just give him another chance? Please?
Phoebe: Love it!
Phoebe: But
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Okay. Okay, but you cant fire him today.
Phoebe: What?! No, you cant, you cant leave me here with them! Were baby-sitting!
Phoebe: Yeah, oh Im sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, its a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! Im so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, causeOh! Im pregnant!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are plugging in a bunch of electronics.]
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Yeah, and these are my friends. People. This is Vince, Vince the people.
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . .
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
Phoebe: Monica!
Phoebe: Im, Im breaking up with you.
Phoebe: (simultaneously) Im breaking up with you!
PHOEBE: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?
(They both look at Phoebe.)