words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Well, what kind of guy are you looking for?
Phoebe: Yknow, this is probably none of my business, but werent you guys supposed to not be seen in public together?
Phoebe: Oh, sly.
Phoebe: (interrupting) Okay, I got a good one. Okay, umm, what is she? Like 12?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing.
Phoebe: Oh thats good, I guess shell have a choice between my guy and your weirdo.
Phoebe: Cause thats just your taste.
Phoebe: Oh yeah?
Phoebe: My guy is a lawyer who has volunteer work. And, he has one of these (She squeezes the skin on her chin together to form )
Phoebe: A chin dimple!
Phoebe: Have you seen your guys body?
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, like there are police for that!
Phoebe: I know. (Laughs.)
Phoebe: Oh, Chandler funny?
Phoebe: My guy is well read.
Phoebe: My guy has great teeth!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: What did you do on yours?
Phoebe: Rachel, what the hell is this?!
Phoebe: You ask us to find you a guy and you come traipsing in here with your own!
Phoebe: Yeah and I-I found you one too who is not a weirdo.
Phoebe: So, Sebastian, do you do any volunteer work?
Phoebe: No reason, its just I know a single guy that cares about other people.
Phoebe: Well, so do a lot of people.
Phoebe: Yeah, yknow what I noticed Rachel? He scares easy. Is that the kind of guy youd like to take to a ball? "Hey Sebastian, would you like to dance?" (Imitates him.) "Uhh, okayI gotta go!"
Phoebe: Yeah! What have you got to lose? Yknow you might even end up with someone really special (whispers) if you pick my guy.
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
Phoebe: Okay sure!
Phoebe: Ooh, technically you owe me $600 for sending out happy thoughts on your last ten auditions.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Ross, you cant tell her not to go. You just started dating.
Phoebe: Nothing, you just have to be cool with it.
Monica: Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!
Phoebe: This is Patrick. (Points to him.)
Chandler: Hi. (To Phoebe) Okay, youre too late okay? Because shes already with our guy.
Phoebe: (looks) Oh my God, youre right! I am too late; theyre sitting on the couch and talking! (To Patrick) Come on! (They go over to the couch.) Rachel?
Phoebe: This is Patrick.
Phoebe: Yeah, this is the guy I was telling you about.
Phoebe: Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to whats underneath it.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Yeah, thats okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)
Phoebe: Rachel? Patrick is really rich. (To Patrick) Give her some money.
Patrick: Yknow what Phoebe? This isnt really worth the free massage.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, lets talk it out.
Phoebe: Then why did she ask us to
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Rachel, were sorry for pushing those guys on you.
Phoebe: Oh my God, look! Thats Elizabeth!
(Phoebe gets up and walks across the hallway, but the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment is shut. She knocks, and anxiously waits for Joey to come, but instead her identical twin sister emerges wearing one of Joeys shirts.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is showing Ross around the newly decorated living room.]
Phoebe: Oh, ok. Fine, I'll just, I'll take the hat back (she puts the hat in a bag and she crushes it angrily on the floor with her foot).
Phoebe: Wow, eight hour flight with a one-year old? Good luck, mom.
Phoebe: No, Im fine. Im great. Im with you.
Phoebe: Okay but thats why you have to buy it, so it can fulfil its Christmas destiny, otherwise there gonna throw it into the chipper. Tell him, Joey
Phoebe: Oh, Ross youre right, I dont know why I always thought this was real grass.
Phoebe: Would you say your pesto is the best-o?
Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Are you wearing waterproof mascara?
[Gunther slips and falls just before reaching the back of the couch. Monica and Phoebe come into Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Of course, yeah.(they hug and Phoebe sighs... a little after that also David sighs and makes his way to the door) You know, a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate...
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y’know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y’know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she’ll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I’d like.
Phoebe: (not amused) Ha-ha. (She sits down on the couch.) No, its just Im so pregnant that Imy guitar doesnt fit anymore. So I thought til Im not, Im just gonna play all my songs on this drum. It sounds really cool!
[Cut to the hallway where Phoebe is conferring with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Oh right, ok um. Ok so its not just the lie you tell. but its the way you tell it. . For example if you look down at the ground when you're talking, people know you're lying.
Phoebe: David! (He kisses her cheek) What-what are you doing here? Arent you supposed to be in Russia?
Phoebe: Yeah, just dont get your hopes up.
Phoebe: Uh huh yeah (stands up) there's just something umm, there's something you should know (Pause) Vicrum just called.
Phoebe: I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. (the clerk shows no change in expression whatsoever) You're fun.
Phoebe: (gasps) White Plains. Oh, it sounds like such a magical place.
Phoebe: Oh, I get more because Im dainty.
Monica: Then, Id steer clear of Phoebe.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is getting coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Phoebe: Grandmas gonna have to get in line.
Phoebe: Just get your nails done?
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is returning the dog who is bandaged up and has a plastic cone around it's neck.]
Guy: Dom da-da dom! Here ye! Here ye! Delivery from the Mattress King. (to Phoebe) You Miss Geller?
Phoebe: It’s ok, it’s ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding (she covers her mouth)
Phoebe: Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.
Phoebe: Ross, how about you. What would you give up, sex or food?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross their bills.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey is memorizing his lines. Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as well.]
Phoebe; Oh, incredible! Oh! Champagne, candle-lit dinners, moonlight walks on the beach, it was sooo ro-man-tic!
Phoebe: You are really good! I play a little guitar myself.
Phoebe: No, Jack and the Beanstalk.
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
Phoebe: I dont know! How are the-the-the-the, yknowYoure clothes arent funny.
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
Phoebe: That is damning evidence.
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, ok. Ooh, hey 'new doc on the block, Days of Our Lives' Joey Tribbiani.' Ooh, cool picture.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Phoebe tips it upside down, and a shoe falls out)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Ross, and Chandler are watching Phoebe polish the daisies on her bike outside.]
Phoebe: Nu-uh!
Phoebe: You got fake numbered.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.
PHOEBE: And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... [she unveils herself right as a huge lightning bolt crashes outside. Ryan screams in terror.] Oh, I am scary.
PHOEBE: You just abandoned your whole belief system. I mean, before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. How, how, how are you going to go into work tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Oh! That was fun. So who's hungry?
(Phoebe and Joey both grab one side of the wishbone)
[Scene: Phoebe's cab. Phoebe is driving very fast, and a terrified Ross has closed his eyes.]
Phoebe: (she takes the bowl from Rachel's hands and she starts running around the room and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH!
PHOEBE: No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Joey enters strutting.]
Phoebe: No, look, I told you that I didnt want you to try and sell it, and you just, you big fat did it anyway. God, y'know what, I think five years ago I probably wouldve done anything to play with you but, I can do it by myself. And if I cant trust you then just forget it.
Phoebe: Well, I-I thought a lot about what you said, and um, I realilized duh, all right maybe I was a little judgmental. Yeah, (looks at the tree) oh, but oh...
Phoebe: Oh, it's Dr. Seuss!
[Scene: The Midfield Day School, its after school and Ben is taking a drink of water as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Phoebe: Well okay, its already February and Ive only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world!
Roy: So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take (he shakes his hips) downtown! (Monica points Phoebe)
Phoebe: Xcusa seniora, voulez-bere quakay[Beep]uck it!
Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry, oh, I just, I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions.
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! Shes always best at us that wily minx.
Phoebe: Musty!
Phoebe: Okay, let's get some perspective people; it's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Monica are in there, and Phoebe enters]
Phoebe: Just a sec., we're kind in the middle of something here.
Charlie: No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey.
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with her own dollhouse, that she made herself.]
Phoebe: Oh, I know. I could only think of two names, him and Ed Begley Jr. and then I remembered hes gay.
Phoebe: Monica had lunch with Richard.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, (To Chandler) and you?
Phoebe: Are you sure? Because I'm really dreading going to this party.
PHOEBE: Hamburger. McDonald's. Old MacDonald had a farm, my dad is a pharmacist.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?
Phoebe: (looking angry) Hey! She will shower when Tibet is free.
PHOEBE: That'll work too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter wearing workout clothes.]
Phoebe: Maybe we have the flight-number wrong. God.
Chandler: Oh thats not true! Thats not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it (notices the look on Monica and Phoebes faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials
[cut to a new scene, also in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting, Phoebe is nearby.]
Phoebe: Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies.
Phoebe: Ohh! I have! I have! I started making these little sock bunnies! (She takes out a sock thats been made into a bunny with eyes, nose, mouth, whiskers, and two other socks sown onto it for ears.) Oh for crying out loud!
[Scene: At the counter. Ross is sitting there, drinking. Phoebe approaches him.]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has used a broom to open the air vent in the ceiling. Phoebe is wearing a janitor's uniform, ready to go up in the vent.]
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Phoebe: (taking something out of the couch) Ew-eww!! Undies!
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
Phoebe: Yeah, or, or, or, Mississ-Pete.
Phoebe: Still going through that dry spell with Carol?
Phoebe: Because its our thirtieth birthday.
Phoebe: Concert. Yeah. That does put us in quite a pickle. Because you see Im very busy before and after the concert, and hes obviously busy during.
Phoebe: The Licorice Room, you can eat all the furniture. And, when guests come over, they can stay on the tootsie roll-away bed.
Phoebe: (Philosophically) Oh, thats good.