words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is looking out the window.]
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
[Phoebe enters.]
PHOEBE: Hey.
GANG: Hey. Hi Phoebe.
PHOEBE: Happy Christmas Eve Eve. [sees Ross's picture frame] Oh my God, where did you get this?
PHOEBE: This is my father, this is a picture of my dad.
PHOEBE: No it isn't, this is my dad, alright, I'll show you.
RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
PHOEBE: No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born.
PHOEBE: [showing her pictures] OK, look, see, this is him. My mother gave me this picture before she died, same guy.
PHOEBE: It's not a blue screen... it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my grandmother. [turns to leave]
GANG: Phoebs. [Phoebe leaves]
JOEY: Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears!
[Phoebe enters.]
PHOEBE: Hi Gram. Whatcha doin'?
PHOEBE: Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?
PHOEBE: Just, you know, to see... um.
PHOEBE: OK, is this really my father?
PHOEBE: OK, I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire.
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
PHOEBE: Oh God.
PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
PHOEBE: OK, that makes no sense. Why would the villagers worship a pharmacist?
PHOEBE: [realizes] Oh.
PHOEBE: Oh.
ROSS: Hey, anyone hear from Phoebe yet?
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
[Scene: Chandler is standing on a street corner waiting for Phoebe in the cab. Joey walks up.]
JOEY: Phoebe here with the cab yet?
[Phoebe drives up in the cab]
[Phoebe runs over the curb. Joey gets in the back seat, Chandler in the front]
PHOEBE: Hey.
PHOEBE: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk.
PHOEBE: OK, let's go.
PHOEBE: Alright, here, you have to hold this. [hands Chandler a piece of paper]
PHOEBE: Uh-huh, yeah, that's my cheat sheet.
PHOEBE: Oh, no no, that side doesn't have one, the paramedics had to cut through it. [Chandler jumps out of the car]
JOEY: Hey. [Phoebe takes off, Joey and Chandler are thrown back in the seat]
PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab]
PHOEBE: Wow, this is it, I'm gonna meet my dad. This is like the biggest thing ever, huh.
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. I'm goin' in.
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. [she just sits in the cab]
[Scene: Outside Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is running back to the cab.]
PHOEBE: OK.
PHOEBE: Mailbox.
PHOEBE: Uh-huh.
PHOEBE: No, it's just like, ya know, it's a whole mess of stuff, ya know. It's like, yesterday, ya know, my dad was this, like, famous Burma tree surgeon guy and, ya know, now he's a, a pharmacist guy and. . .
PHOEBE: Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter.
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
PHOEBE: Yeah?
PHOEBE: You guys. I'm sorry about your shopping.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
PHOEBE: Oh, I couldn't go in.
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.
CHANDLER: Hey, guys, it's after midnight, merry Christmas everyone. [Ross and Phoebe hug, Monica and Rachel hug, Chandler is left standing]
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
PHOEBE: You guuuyys.
Monica: Phoebe, stop writing about us!
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Rachel: Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?!
Phoebe: (shes strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think Ill play it at the wedding.
Phoebe: (Angrily.) Hey, were the hell have you been?!
Phoebe: Yeah. Not looking for dates. (Monica turns in horror.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking along with the diplomat (Sergei) and his translator (Mischa).]
Phoebe: Not that often!
Phoebe: I know, theyre gonna be so happy together.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is bringing Phoebe some coffee.]
Phoebe: Me too! So happy for them!
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
Monica: (grabs a bag of those Styrofoam peanuts) Ill be coordinator! Oh my God! Im so sorry, I didnt get you anything! Okay, look everybody has to help! Okay? You can help, cant you Phoebe?
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Joey.
Phoebe: Definitely!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah I got that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is saying good-bye to her boyfriend Jake at the door to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Hm-mmm.
Phoebe: Yeah, I locked him years ago!
Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe: Hey, Mon.
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone exept Phoebe and Chandler is there. Ross's beeper goes off and everyone exept him react.]
Ross: Phoebe.
Rachel: Phoebe?! Wait abut-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Phoebe: I know but its so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!
[Scene: The casino, Phoebe is playing on a slot machine. Suddenly the lurker sticks her head around the aisle of slot machines.]
Phoebe: Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Ross: Phoebe, how could you do this to me?!
Rachel: Oh God, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Good!
Phoebe: Well you certainly cant give her that stupid gumball ring.
Phoebe: (reading) Ross!
Phoebe: Yeah absolutely! (They both switch.)
Monica: This is so typical. Y'know, we give, and we give, and we give. And then- we just get nothing back! And then one day, y'know, it's just, you wake up, and "See you around!" Let's go, Phoebe.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) So this is Brooklyn.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a map as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: (Thinks for a moment.) Aw, dammit! (Slams the phone down.)
[Scene: Healing Hands, Inc., Phoebe is giving Rick a massage.]
Rachel: Phoebe, his music could not get any worse. There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves.
PHOEBE: [singing] Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
Phoebe: Got it.
Phoebe: Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isnt here!
Monica: Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!
Phoebe: Eh, better her than me! Hey, lets bake cookies!
Phoebe: Oh, 19! We thought you said 90!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Thank you Rachel but, look at Monica!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Im talking about massages.
Monica: Phoebe!
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, Phoebe is returning from the bathroom.]
Phoebe: Yeah! Yeah! Convince her that-that youre scared of commitment! Convince her that youre a little coward!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the living room and Phoebe is in her room.]
Phoebe: Okay. (She goes to get ready.)
Rachel: Okay come on Phoebe, its nothing! Monica, come on!
PHOEBE: But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk.
Phoebe: (coming back out) Hey! Rachel! Come on!!!!
Phoebe: Well yeah, that and Chandlers problem.
Phoebe: Why?!
Phoebe: Would she?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont really their permission.
Phoebe: Maybe just 10 minutes for you.
Phoebe: (singing, angrily)
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
Phoebe: Yeah, I think I told it wrong. Y'know, we should talk about that because I don't totally understand what happened there.
Phoebe: (singing)
Phoebe: Yknow what Joey left on my pillow?
Phoebe: Oh thank you.
Phoebe: It starts?
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Phoebe: Oh, we killed them all.
Phoebe: Hey! Ross!
Ross: Phoebe, you said it was urgent!
Phoebe: No-no, we do it every year!
Phoebe: NothingWhy?!
(Rachel enters with the cat, wearing the oven mitt, and startles Phoebe.)
Phoebe: OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
Ross: Uh, Phoebe
Phoebe: Oh Ross, hi.
Ross: Phoebe!
Ross: Phoebe, what are you doing?
PHOEBE: Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities.
Phoebe: Okay, lets talk outside.
Woman: Hi, is uh Phoebe here?
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Phoebe: Woof, woof.
Phoebe: Thank you. (She pats him on his head.)
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Phoebe: Are you leaving "The Supremes"? (Monica and Phoebe go to one side)
Phoebe: Make sure you check Chandler's jewelry box.
Phoebe: (she just looks at him) Why are you being weird?
Rachel: Phoebe, hi, we�re so sorry. You�re totally right. We are here one hundred per cent and we love you and we are ready to start your birthday celebration.
Phoebe: (laughs) All I could think of was yknow, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?"
Phoebe: Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune.
Phoebe: (interrupting) Im not asking!
Phoebe: Well, hes never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week!