words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Chandler. Phoebe runs in, excitedly.]
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Chandler's coming and he says he has, like, this incredible news, so when he gets here, we could all act like, you know...
Phoebe: Never mind. But it was going to be really good.
Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there.
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Phoebe: (to Monica's tapping) Yeah, yeah!
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know! (turns to Chandler) So, what do you think?
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
Phoebe: OK. (pause) Oh Monica! Guess what!
Phoebe: Where are you going, Mr. Suity-Man?
Phoebe: Ooh! Brian's Song!
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
Phoebe: (as though Rachel wasn't paying attention) Yummy noises.
Phoebe: Ooh! I know what you could make! (runs over to join Monica and Rachel in the kitchen) I know! Oh, you should definitely make that thing... you know, with the stuff? (Monica doesn't know.) You know, that thing... with the stuff...? OK, I don't know. (sits down)
Phoebe: Oh, is this the bug lady?
Phoebe: That's so great! 'Cause you already know how to do that!
Phoebe: Ten dollars an hour for what?
[Scene: Chandler's new window office, he is showing Phoebe around.]
Phoebe: (excited) Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. Oh, this is a cube.
Phoebe: Oh! You have a window!
Phoebe: Oh look! That guy's peeing!
Phoebe: (sitting) OK.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later. Rachel is waitressing, Monica is cooking. Phoebe walks in with Steve (Crystal Duck winner Jon Lovitz).]
Phoebe: (overemphasizing) Mmmmmm! Everything smells so delicious! You know, I can't remember a time I smelt such a delicious combination of (Monica signals her to stop) of, OK, smells.
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Phoebe: Smoked a joint? You know, lit a bone? Weed? Hemp? Ganja?
Phoebe: Yeah! You know all those yummy noises? I wasn't faking.
Phoebe: You guys wanna try and catch a late movie or something?
Phoebe: How's this? (presses down hard)
Phoebe: Sorry. How about over here? (presses down hard again)
Phoebe: See, that just means it's working. Does this hurt? (presses down elsewhere)
Phoebe: What about this? (she starts using her elbows on his back, he yells in pain)
Phoebe: There you go! (She continues to work him over with her elbows and he continues to yell in pain.)
Phoebe: Okay!
(Phoebe tries to throw some quarters out the window, but she has forgotten to open the window, and she and Ross scream.)
Phoebe: Good for you. That was really mature.
Phoebe: Why? The only person my playing is bothering is you!
Monica: (pause) (to Phoebe) Chandler gets pedicures!
Phoebe: (genuinely excited about it) Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Phoebe: Well, not anything, I mean...
Phoebe: Hey!
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Uh! Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: Oh, this could take a while.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Monica are there when Phoebe enters.]
PHOEBE: I'm just gonna pass on the concert, 'cause I'm just not in a very Hootie place right now.
Phoebe: Ross...
Phoebe: Can you?
Phoebe: Oh God!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, happy needless-turkey-murder day.
Phoebe: (hopping off the bike) Wait! This seat is really uncomfortable! Yeah, maybe before we start we should just get another one. Perhaps, like an airplane seator a beanbag chair!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a shopping bag.]
Phoebe: (slowly) Je m'appelle Claude.
Phoebe: Oh, me too!
Phoebe: Yep.
Phoebe: Welcome back!
Phoebe: Nope.
Mike: Hey (He kisses Phoebe)
Rachel: That-that is your make out buddy. Dont you recognize him? (Holding up the magazine in front of her face.) Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please.
Phoebe: You're not serious, right?
Phoebe:(not amused) Mike Crap Bag?
Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Phoebe: And I love Crap.
Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
Chandler: Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! (Holds up his hand to give Monica a high five, only he cant straighten his fingers.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel at the Spa. Phoebe is still massaging Rachel]
Monica: Phoebe, we are so proud of you! You're amazing!
Phoebe: Shhh! Shhhh! Joeys asleep.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Thank you, mister Bag.
(a woman enters and recognizes Phoebe)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are leaving.]
Phoebe: How about uhm... How about Buffay-Hannigan?
Phoebe: ...Oh crap!
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: It's a funny word.
Ross: Phoebe, I had no idea you were so conventional.
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im justIm Im just not ready for a relationship right now.
Phoebe: Good for you!
Phoebe: Ooh, what's going on?
Phoebe: Talking to Ross.
Phoebe: You okay with this?
Phoebe: She died.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Here, now I don't eat chicken, so it's just noodle soup. And there's no chicken in the broth either, so it's really just... noodle water.
Phoebe: Yeah, she was just an agent.
Phoebe: Well, not for a little while. Let's just give him a few days to get used to everything else.
Phoebe: Is it okay if I leave this stuff here 'til Rachel's birthday party?
Phoebe: Well its justits one of those situations that I just hate. Yknow? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum.
Joey: Hey Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey. Everything ok?
Phoebe: (interrupting) What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!
Phoebe: Because a promise between friends means never having to give a reason. (she leaves)
Monica: Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him?
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Phoebe (doing Estelle): Joey, it’s Estelle.
(Phoebe tips it upside down, and a shoe falls out)
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. He’s there and Phoebe comes in.]
Phoebe: I dont know! (frantically points at Monica)
Phoebe: (picking up her bag) All right, so promise you're gonna wait for her to call you?
Phoebe: Well I dont, I dont have a mother so often I forget that other people
Phoebe: Well, I didn't think I should just drop by...
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Phoebe: Anyway, you did what you had to do. I'm okay.
Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, lets try some uh, aversion therapy.
Phoebe: Man, tough week for Estelle!
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Phoebe: Thanks a lot! I just got that jerk out of my mind!
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
Phoebe: Hi. I just had the worst anniversary ever.
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe (watching the food on the table): Wow, this is quite a spread! (pause) What is all this stuff?
(They wrestle on the couch for a little while until Monica gets the upper hand and pulls Rachel off of the couch by her sock. Monica removes Rachel's sock and starts beating her with it.)This leads to wrestling on the floor. This finally angers Phoebe.)
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
Phoebe: Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like "Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him!
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe (to Rachel): You doing ok?
Phoebe: I know.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
[Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.]
Rachel: I love you Phoebe.
(Phoebe and Rachel enter the living room.)
Phoebe: Ok.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your like old blouses and dresses from high school?
Phoebe: (from the other side of the room) Yeah!