words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Rachel: And umm, vintage handkerchiefs yknow cause, people cry at weddings. (Starting to cry.) Im just gonna grab a couple of these.
Rachel: (after a pause) Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive!
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: ROSS!
Rachel: whoo... ok... wow... ok... OH!
Rachel: (more confident) Ok...
Rachel: That's because he's on your neck.
Rachel: I can't believe this! This is Emma's first Thanksgiving!
Rachel: It's not? (whispering to Ross) When was she born?
Rachel: Can't wait!
Rachel: Yeah.
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
Rachel: Oh, big glamour night. Me and Monica at Laundorama.
Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
Rachel: And a thousand dollars.
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Rachel: Okay, that's gonna take them a minute. Do you have anything else you wanna get off your chest?
Rachel: Phoebe, I think... It's just too weird, I just saw a one year old running around with pantyhose on!
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: No, what?
Rachel: You heard them say that?
Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)
Rachel: Phoebe, you have to calm down.
Rachel: Because I already did!
Rachel: No...
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Rachel: What are you doing here!
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Ross: We're late too! (Rachel screams)
(Rachel, Phoebe and Emma arrive)
Rachel: And I won!
Rachel: Yeah. That's me!
Rachel: She won a thousand dollars!
Ross: (to Rachel) Uh, how long until they announce the numbers, Mommy?
Rachel: Ill be watching TV if anybody needs me. (exits to her room)
(Rachel comes out of her apartment}
Rachel: Yes, I'm sorry. Do you have any extra pants? Umm, my friend seems to have had a little accident.
Rachel: Oh, God. This is bad. This is so bad.
Ross: (Reading the note) We know you're out there. (Rachel gasps)
Rachel: Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. (Ross nods.)
Rachel: Yeah, we got a lot to do! We gotta think about the flowers, the caterers, the music
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: Yknow, you-you also couldve used uh, lamps and then followed the light.
Ross: (Staring back, and then breaks off) (To Phoebe and Rachel) Yeah, he can do it!
Phoebe and Rachel: So, so sorry.
Rachel: So bad.
Rachel: Dessert?
Rachel: Okay, bla-bla-bla-bla!! Who is it?!
Rachel: No. Joey, she knows! We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we saw them doing it through the window. (Joey gasps) Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.
Rachel: Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless youre thinking about Naked Wednesdays.
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ewww, is that what that is?
Rachel: (staring at him) Whno, but yknow who did stop in here looking for ya, Tennille.
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Monica: I do, but Rachel borrowed them.
Rachel: Whats-whats going on? Phils really pissed!
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie, Joey and Rachel are on the couches]
(Rachel enters, checking the mail, then looks up and sees Gladys placed on the barcalounger.)
Rachel: To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio.
Rachel: I'm so happy for you!
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: You know what? I don't want to be with them either, but it's Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together. (Goes to unlock the door)
(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid are up against the wall kissing. Rachel comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She walks into the chapel and sees Ross and Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and sees Rachel standing there.)
Rachel: Yeah, he did! (smiling) Oh, see, this is what I'm talking about!
Rachel: Do you think I'm someone else?
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, who's Phoebe with?
Rachel: Well, it's a little low... pick up a little... (Ross picks it up) a little bit more... (he picks it up again) a little bit more... (he takes it off) There you go! (pause) Now throw it away!
Rachel: Ha ha ha, third time this week. Man, this does not get old.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: (To Ross) Great, shoot, what are we gonna do?
Rachel: Ohh! Oh God! (Laughs her way into the living room.)
Rachel: what?
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Oh
Rachel: Hi
Rachel: Oh! Oh, no!
(Rachel enters from the main door)
Rachel: Oh no! Not me! Emma!
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Rachel: Ah, this place is great!
Rachel: Yeah, down from seven hundred, you are saving like two hundred bucks!
Rachel: Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all...
Rachel: Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!
Rachel: Okay. Thank you! Thank you! BecauseI'm sorry, all right. Because y'know what? She didn't want menot important. The point is, I was right. Your decision. Okay? I was right. (She starts for the door.) (Stops) Your decision.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Why do men keep talking to me like this?
[Phoebe gets up and goes into Rachels old room, a smile on her face.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
RACHEL: Well, um, first he told me he liked how I looked.� And, ah, then we had a little . . . um . . . eye-contact.
Rachel: We got some really great stuff!
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I just bring it out in him.
Rachel: (embarrassed) Oh, I can give you that.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Uhh, well lets see. (Grabs his hand.) Youre aboutwell uh, this one is large. And this one(Grabs the other hand.)
Rachel: Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. (Shows her the picture.)
Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.
Rachel: Oh honey, this is for the best, thus I�m not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she�s doing at home and I�m being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up!
(Ross points out Rachel to Chandler and goes over to talk to her. Rachel is checking out her nose in her compact mirror.)
Rachel: Ah yes, but hes very protective of me so youd better watch yourself.