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[A montage of scenes from The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break follows.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
Rachel: You want me to just quit my job so that you can feel like youve got a girlfriend?
Rachel: (shocked) Oh my God.
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross! Look, urrgh, maybe we should take a break.
Rachel: No. A break from us.
Rachel: Then, we had this big, stupid fight, and I said I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Rachel: Nobody.
Rachel: Umm, honey, look he just came over to....
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Well, we never actually got to dinner.
Rachel: No, we kinda broke up instead.
Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica its on the ceiling.
Rachel: Yeah, but its okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.
Rachel: No.
Monica: Rachel, you and Mark?!
Rachel: No, no-no, its okay, calm down. Mark and I talked, and I realised how much I love your stupid brother, and, yeah, we got our problems, but I really want to make it work.
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Rachel: Eh, Im just so sorry I put you through it. And, I y'know, I dont want to get back together over a machine.
Rachel: So, I love you.
Rachel: And y'know what, Im gonna, Im gonna go to bed now, but ah, on my way to work tomorrow morning, Im gonna stop by around 8:30.
Rachel: Bye.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Rachel: Hi. Ohhh, you got my message.
Rachel: So what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again?
Ross: (seeing the thumbs up) Ahhhh!! (Hugs Rachel tighter.)
Joey: Yeah. We figured when we couldnt find you, youd gone home to make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you shoulda done. Huh?
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Issac: Oh right, that Rachel chick from the coffee place.
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear Rachel from the living room.]
Rachel: I cant talk to you. I cant even look at you right now!
Monica: (going over to listen at the door) Rachel said everything was okay.
Ross: Rachel?
Rachel: Just get away from me!
Rachel: A mistake?! What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?!
Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman!
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
Rachel: Just get out! Now!!
Rachel: Okay! All right! How was she?
Rachel: Was she good?
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Rachel: Good different?
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
Chandler: Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.
Rachel: Whoa!! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What time did your little friend leave? (Ross cant answer that) Oh my God. She was there? She was still there? She was in there, when I was in there?!
(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with it again.)
Rachel: And yet she was worth jeopardising our relationship!!
Rachel: We were on a break!
Rachel: You think youre gonna get out of this on a technicality?
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
Rachel: God! And to have to hear about it from Gunther!!
Rachel: Oh, that is so sweet. I think Im falling in love with you all over again.
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Rachel: All right. Lets say I had slept with Mark. Would you have been able to forgive me?
Rachel: Youd be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been naked with me, and made love to me?
Rachel: You knew that our hot, sweaty, writhing bodies were....
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
Rachel: Im thinking, Im gonna order a pizza.
Joey: Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.
Rachel: Fine. (on phone) Hi! Yes, Id like to order a large pizza.
Rachel: With ah, extra anchovies.
Rachel: Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce?
Rachel: Well, I should think so. You slept with someone.
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Rachel: Thats....
Rachel: That is neither here nor there.
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Dont! You cant just kiss me and think youre gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesnt work that way. It doesnt just make it better. Okay?
Rachel: (softly) I think you should go.
Rachel: (softly) I really think you need to go now.
Rachel: Yeah, what the hell did I know!
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Rachel: Then how come it is?
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Rachel: Hi! Emma will be up in a minute!
Phoebe: .and I said Vicrum you can't just call every time you get lonely you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel.
Rachel: Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground.
Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
Rachel: All right!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, another time lapse, Monica is seeking advice from Rachel and Phoebe about possible replacement earrings.]
Rachel: That was one time, Ross, and they were only like 5 milligrams.
Rachel: Well, I did my best to convince him that Im not some crazy girl who is dying to get marriedIm just going through a hard time.
RACHEL: What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?
Rachel: Ok.
Rachel: Ok.
Rachel: Ok, careful.
Rachel: Careful, watch her hair. WATCH HER HAIR!
Rachel: You gave her a key to your apartment?!
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Rachel: Oh, oh Ross, oh my God, are you okay?
Rachel: Well when I talk to her I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying.
Ross and Rachel: Hmmmm .
Rachel: (breaking up) Were just really very excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
Rachel: Alright fine. I'll do it.
Rachel: IF you hold a spider.
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Rachel: And umm, vintage handkerchiefs yknow cause, people cry at weddings. (Starting to cry.) Im just gonna grab a couple of these.
Rachel: (after a pause) Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive!
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: ROSS!
Rachel: whoo... ok... wow... ok... OH!
Rachel: (more confident) Ok...
Rachel: That's because he's on your neck.
Rachel: I can't believe this! This is Emma's first Thanksgiving!
Rachel: It's not? (whispering to Ross) When was she born?
Rachel: Can't wait!
Rachel: Yeah.
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
Rachel: Oh, big glamour night. Me and Monica at Laundorama.
Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
Rachel: And a thousand dollars.
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Rachel: Okay, that's gonna take them a minute. Do you have anything else you wanna get off your chest?
Rachel: Phoebe, I think... It's just too weird, I just saw a one year old running around with pantyhose on!
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: No, what?
Rachel: You heard them say that?
Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)
Rachel: Phoebe, you have to calm down.
Rachel: Because I already did!
Rachel: No...
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Rachel: What are you doing here!
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Ross: We're late too! (Rachel screams)
(Rachel, Phoebe and Emma arrive)
Rachel: And I won!
Rachel: Yeah. That's me!
Rachel: She won a thousand dollars!
Ross: (to Rachel) Uh, how long until they announce the numbers, Mommy?
Rachel: Ill be watching TV if anybody needs me. (exits to her room)
(Rachel comes out of her apartment}
Rachel: Yes, I'm sorry. Do you have any extra pants? Umm, my friend seems to have had a little accident.
Rachel: Oh, God. This is bad. This is so bad.
Ross: (Reading the note) We know you're out there. (Rachel gasps)
Rachel: Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. (Ross nods.)
Rachel: Yeah, we got a lot to do! We gotta think about the flowers, the caterers, the music
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: Yknow, you-you also couldve used uh, lamps and then followed the light.
Ross: (Staring back, and then breaks off) (To Phoebe and Rachel) Yeah, he can do it!
Phoebe and Rachel: So, so sorry.
Rachel: So bad.
Rachel: Dessert?
Rachel: Okay, bla-bla-bla-bla!! Who is it?!
Rachel: No. Joey, she knows! We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we saw them doing it through the window. (Joey gasps) Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.
Rachel: Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless youre thinking about Naked Wednesdays.
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ewww, is that what that is?
Rachel: (staring at him) Whno, but yknow who did stop in here looking for ya, Tennille.
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Monica: I do, but Rachel borrowed them.
Rachel: Whats-whats going on? Phils really pissed!
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie, Joey and Rachel are on the couches]
(Rachel enters, checking the mail, then looks up and sees Gladys placed on the barcalounger.)
Rachel: To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio.
Rachel: I'm so happy for you!
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: You know what? I don't want to be with them either, but it's Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together. (Goes to unlock the door)
(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid are up against the wall kissing. Rachel comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She walks into the chapel and sees Ross and Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and sees Rachel standing there.)
Rachel: Yeah, he did! (smiling) Oh, see, this is what I'm talking about!
Rachel: Do you think I'm someone else?
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, who's Phoebe with?
Rachel: Well, it's a little low... pick up a little... (Ross picks it up) a little bit more... (he picks it up again) a little bit more... (he takes it off) There you go! (pause) Now throw it away!
Rachel: Ha ha ha, third time this week. Man, this does not get old.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: (To Ross) Great, shoot, what are we gonna do?
Rachel: Ohh! Oh God! (Laughs her way into the living room.)
Rachel: what?
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Oh
Rachel: Hi