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[A montage of scenes from The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break follows.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
Rachel: You want me to just quit my job so that you can feel like youve got a girlfriend?
Rachel: (shocked) Oh my God.
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross! Look, urrgh, maybe we should take a break.
Rachel: No. A break from us.
Rachel: Then, we had this big, stupid fight, and I said I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Rachel: Nobody.
Rachel: Umm, honey, look he just came over to....
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Well, we never actually got to dinner.
Rachel: No, we kinda broke up instead.
Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica its on the ceiling.
Rachel: Yeah, but its okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.
Rachel: No.
Monica: Rachel, you and Mark?!
Rachel: No, no-no, its okay, calm down. Mark and I talked, and I realised how much I love your stupid brother, and, yeah, we got our problems, but I really want to make it work.
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Rachel: Eh, Im just so sorry I put you through it. And, I y'know, I dont want to get back together over a machine.
Rachel: So, I love you.
Rachel: And y'know what, Im gonna, Im gonna go to bed now, but ah, on my way to work tomorrow morning, Im gonna stop by around 8:30.
Rachel: Bye.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Rachel: Hi. Ohhh, you got my message.
Rachel: So what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again?
Ross: (seeing the thumbs up) Ahhhh!! (Hugs Rachel tighter.)
Joey: Yeah. We figured when we couldnt find you, youd gone home to make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you shoulda done. Huh?
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Issac: Oh right, that Rachel chick from the coffee place.
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear Rachel from the living room.]
Rachel: I cant talk to you. I cant even look at you right now!
Monica: (going over to listen at the door) Rachel said everything was okay.
Ross: Rachel?
Rachel: Just get away from me!
Rachel: A mistake?! What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?!
Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman!
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
Rachel: Just get out! Now!!
Rachel: Okay! All right! How was she?
Rachel: Was she good?
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Rachel: Good different?
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
Chandler: Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.
Rachel: Whoa!! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What time did your little friend leave? (Ross cant answer that) Oh my God. She was there? She was still there? She was in there, when I was in there?!
(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with it again.)
Rachel: And yet she was worth jeopardising our relationship!!
Rachel: We were on a break!
Rachel: You think youre gonna get out of this on a technicality?
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
Rachel: God! And to have to hear about it from Gunther!!
Rachel: Oh, that is so sweet. I think Im falling in love with you all over again.
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Rachel: All right. Lets say I had slept with Mark. Would you have been able to forgive me?
Rachel: Youd be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been naked with me, and made love to me?
Rachel: You knew that our hot, sweaty, writhing bodies were....
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
Rachel: Im thinking, Im gonna order a pizza.
Joey: Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.
Rachel: Fine. (on phone) Hi! Yes, Id like to order a large pizza.
Rachel: With ah, extra anchovies.
Rachel: Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce?
Rachel: Well, I should think so. You slept with someone.
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Rachel: Thats....
Rachel: That is neither here nor there.
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Dont! You cant just kiss me and think youre gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesnt work that way. It doesnt just make it better. Okay?
Rachel: (softly) I think you should go.
Rachel: (softly) I really think you need to go now.
Rachel: Yeah, what the hell did I know!
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Rachel: Then how come it is?
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Rachel: Well then you just must have a natural talent for it.
Rachel: Oh yeah, I know, but the garbage was full.
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
Rachel: Oh yeah, sorry. Wait honey, so what did you do that made dad cut you off?
Rachel: Oh God. (He hands her some tissues.) No! Oh not again! (Wiping her nose.) This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. (She puts her head back.) Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me?
Rachel: If you like looking at butts so much why don't you just go look at a mirror?
Rachel: Okay, I'm not just waitressing. I'm.. I, um... I write the specials on the specials board, and, uh... and I, uh... I take the uh dead flowers out of the vase... Oh, and, um, sometimes Artelle lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies.
Rachel: Oh thank you. Hey yknow, Im so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Rachel: Argh! Why does everything happen to me?!
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
Rachel: Whoa, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this cart.
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Phoebe: So, how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together?
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Rachel: Hi! Yknow what honey, were actually out of candy right now. But someone just went out to get some and I have been giving out money but Im out of that too. Hey, can I write you a check?
Monica: Rachel! What is your cat doing in one of my bowls!
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Rachel: Are you gonna let me play?
Rachel: Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything.
Rachel: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch, eating candy. It is raining out. Ross climbs up the fire escape and is knocking on the window.]
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Chandler: (to Rachel, whos entering) Hey! Howd the interview go?
Rachel: Oh please, what do you know! You married a lesbian!
Rachel: Look, either help me or go.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is at the counter, serving coffee to Phoebe.]
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Rachel: Anyway, um, (Gets the ring out of her purse.) I guess this belongs to you. And thank you for giving it to me.
Rachel: Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Phoebe: Okay. And, my, dead, mother, says, you, are, it. I'm with Rachel.
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
RACHEL: Well how can that be, you were just kissing Sabrina?
Rachel: Uhh I think I just got engaged.
Rachel: Oh, come on! You think thats gonna work on me?! I invented that!
Rachel: (closes her magazine) Can I get you some water?
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Rachel: Joey, there is a perfectly good couch across the hall!
Rachel: I swear, I never wanted any part of your night!
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Rachel: I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."
Rachel: Wait a minute, youre only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Yeah, but he waited until the last minute! So if I said yes, he would know I had nothing better to do than wait around for an invitation to his stupid party. I said, "No!" Which puts me right back in the driver seat.
[Scene: A bar.� Rachel and Phoebe are bringing their drinks from the bar to a sofa.]
Rachel: Uh, I think I just did. And uh-oh, here it comes again. Shut up!
Rachel: Oh please, I hate packing, its closer to work, and we do have fun. Although, Im really gonna miss living with you.
Rachel: Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees!
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Rachel: Well, however great she was I just cant afford that.
Rachel: Ohh, I'm gonna be on the news!
Rachel: No! Of course we can wait. Alright, so I guess that means good night then?
(The phone rings and Monica answers it as Rachel goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: No, I just mean that, you know, first impressions don't mean anything. And I-I think you're a really good guy and I'm sorry that I misjudged you.
Rachel: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that Im-Im gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, and Monica are there. Rachel is reading everyones horoscope.]
Ross: Thank you. (to Rachel) So did you ah, did you tell Mark Something about me?
Rachel: I know. (Starts to cry) Yeah, see, theres so much to do and I have so little time to do it in.
Rachel: (entering with Paolo, arm in arm) Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica.
Rachel: Oh! I would love to read a poem.
Rachel: Well! Good night. (to Ross) Im going upstairs.
RACHEL: Ohh, thank you for the wonderful dinner.
Rachel: No, she had to have just taken that test because I took out the trash last night.
Rachel: Oh, y'know what, I didnt want cinnamon on this.
Ross: Oh, man! I can't believe she's actually leaving. How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel?
RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that.
Rachel: Oh, wow! Congratulations, that's quite a waste of time.
Rachel: Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on!
Rachel: No! You guys cant leave yet! You have to stay, we-we got the whole big thing planned!
Joey: Monica. Oh huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.
Rachel: Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two!
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Phoebe: Rachel? Oh, good. Hey, by the way, did you just get on the plane?
Rachel: Do you want some pancakes?
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Rachel: Oops! All right, so what do you want to do now?
RACHEL: I know, I just didn't want to wear my glasses on my first date.
Rachel: Are you gonna... you're going to take Hugsy away from a little child?
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross is taking Ben to visit Rachel whos working there.]
Rachel: I don't know. The left one.
Phoebe and Rachel: Aww.
Joanna: (interrupting) And Rachel shouldnt have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
RACHEL: No, why do we always have to do everything according to your time table?
[later in the bathroom Monica is looking in the drawer, Rachel runs up]
Monica: Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are at the couch.]
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang minus Rachel and Ross are talking to Pete.]
(Knock on door. Ross opens it. Rachel enters.)
(They both leave just as Rachel enters the room, holding a cup.)