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[A montage of scenes from The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break follows.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
Rachel: You want me to just quit my job so that you can feel like youve got a girlfriend?
Rachel: (shocked) Oh my God.
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross! Look, urrgh, maybe we should take a break.
Rachel: No. A break from us.
Rachel: Then, we had this big, stupid fight, and I said I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Rachel: Nobody.
Rachel: Umm, honey, look he just came over to....
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Well, we never actually got to dinner.
Rachel: No, we kinda broke up instead.
Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica its on the ceiling.
Rachel: Yeah, but its okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.
Rachel: No.
Monica: Rachel, you and Mark?!
Rachel: No, no-no, its okay, calm down. Mark and I talked, and I realised how much I love your stupid brother, and, yeah, we got our problems, but I really want to make it work.
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Rachel: Eh, Im just so sorry I put you through it. And, I y'know, I dont want to get back together over a machine.
Rachel: So, I love you.
Rachel: And y'know what, Im gonna, Im gonna go to bed now, but ah, on my way to work tomorrow morning, Im gonna stop by around 8:30.
Rachel: Bye.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Rachel: Hi. Ohhh, you got my message.
Rachel: So what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again?
Ross: (seeing the thumbs up) Ahhhh!! (Hugs Rachel tighter.)
Joey: Yeah. We figured when we couldnt find you, youd gone home to make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you shoulda done. Huh?
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Issac: Oh right, that Rachel chick from the coffee place.
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear Rachel from the living room.]
Rachel: I cant talk to you. I cant even look at you right now!
Monica: (going over to listen at the door) Rachel said everything was okay.
Ross: Rachel?
Rachel: Just get away from me!
Rachel: A mistake?! What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?!
Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman!
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
Rachel: Just get out! Now!!
Rachel: Okay! All right! How was she?
Rachel: Was she good?
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Rachel: Good different?
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
Chandler: Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.
Rachel: Whoa!! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What time did your little friend leave? (Ross cant answer that) Oh my God. She was there? She was still there? She was in there, when I was in there?!
(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with it again.)
Rachel: And yet she was worth jeopardising our relationship!!
Rachel: We were on a break!
Rachel: You think youre gonna get out of this on a technicality?
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
Rachel: God! And to have to hear about it from Gunther!!
Rachel: Oh, that is so sweet. I think Im falling in love with you all over again.
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Rachel: All right. Lets say I had slept with Mark. Would you have been able to forgive me?
Rachel: Youd be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been naked with me, and made love to me?
Rachel: You knew that our hot, sweaty, writhing bodies were....
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
Rachel: Im thinking, Im gonna order a pizza.
Joey: Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.
Rachel: Fine. (on phone) Hi! Yes, Id like to order a large pizza.
Rachel: With ah, extra anchovies.
Rachel: Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce?
Rachel: Well, I should think so. You slept with someone.
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Rachel: Thats....
Rachel: That is neither here nor there.
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Dont! You cant just kiss me and think youre gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesnt work that way. It doesnt just make it better. Okay?
Rachel: (softly) I think you should go.
Rachel: (softly) I really think you need to go now.
Rachel: Yeah, what the hell did I know!
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Rachel: Then how come it is?
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Rachel: Me too!
Rachel: Uh-hmm.
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Rachel: Hypothetically!
Rachel: Yeah thats actually a pretty good idea.
Rachel: Yes it is! It is true! I went, I went after Ross in stupid London.
Rachel: Right! But, none of that compared to how kind and-and how gentle and thoughtful he is. (Rubbing his shoulder.)
Rachel: Fine!
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
Rachel: Joey, you have got to take this back!
Phoebe: Hey Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Really?!
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
Rachel: Yeah but Phoebe
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is bringing Rachel some coffee.]
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
Rachel: Hey Joey, what cha doing?
Rachel: So how is the uhm... baby styling business going?
Rachel: Im gonna marry someone good yknow.
Rachel: I mean it's my fault.
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
RACHEL: (lowers voice to imitate Ross) "Yeah."� (Clears throat.)� "Me too."
Rachel: How come you are?!
Rachel: Joey, what are you talking about? Youre a terrific actor.
Rachel: Patrick and I had such a great time last night! I mean I think this could maybe turn into something serious.
Rachel: Okay, uh
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
Rachel: its gonna be okay!
Rachel: Thanks!
Rachel: Oh!
Ross: Yes, very nice Rachel.
Rachel: Thank you judges.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Rachel: Well, I brought the next best thing.
Rachel: Mindy?! My maid of honour, Mindy?!
Rachel: Aw, thanks!
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: (To Monica) Well, people are different.
Katie: Oh, thanks! That's so sweet! (She punches Rachel like she punched Joey.)
Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.
Phoebe: Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave)
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is arriving as Rachel is standing there.]
(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)
Jill: (covers her eyes and starts crying) Im sorry Rachel, Im sorry
Rachel: Oh, make it stop!
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Rachel: Hi Pheebs.
Joanna: (Coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel) Hello, Rachel. (She goes into Chandlers bedroom)
Rachel: You do? Why?
Phoebe: Well, we just decided that Rachel is gonna be your maid of honor.
Rachel: (Faking cheerfulness.) Hello. Umm, when is your next flight to London?
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Yknow, all the women.
RACHEL: What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool.
Rachel: Yeah okay, you laugh now, but shes gonna be yours. (Phoebe gets suddenly scared.)
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Rachel: What-what?! Youre gonna leave this person with me?!
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: Why?! What?! Are you kidding?!
Rachel: Hi.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
Ross: Rachel! I'll just call her back.
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Ross is taking pictures of Rachel holding the baby as the rest of the gang enters.]
Ross: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) There are tons of freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
RACHEL: I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football, the next thing I know, I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes.
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: I know!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is telling Rachel about his class location predicament.]
Rachel: Bye!
Rachel: Cupid.
Rachel: Phoebe!
Rachel: Fine. (They start to walk away.)
Rachel: Im sorry?
Rachel: Noooooooo!!
Rachel: Well look whos here!
Rachel: Uh yes, heroin and crack.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I was wondering
Rachel: Well now whats the rush?
Rachel: Oh, sorry, it's my phone. Hello?
Erin: Hey Rachel.
Phoebe and Rachel: A birthday party.
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Rachel: I get to hire my own assistant!
Rachel: Okay, Im just gonna go over the basic points just one more time, are you ready?
Rachel: But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?!
Rachel: But y'know, I could use a hand getting ready.
Rachel: Yeah, see ya.
Rachel: Ugh, tramp!
Rachel: So hows it goin with Joey?
Rachel: Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a regatta gala.
Rachel: Theyre in Vermont!! How could this happen?! (She waves her arms franticly and hits Chandler.)
Rachel: Hi!
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no, yeah.
Rachel: Joey
Rachel: Monica, can Phoebe borrow your green dress?
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.