words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]
Rachel: Hi! Hi Ben!
Rachel: Oh, yeah go ahead.
Rachel: No. No.
Rachel: Ben, its Rachel! (He closes the door.) But whatever.
Rachel: Awww, just like his daddy.
Rachel: What-what about Monica?
Rachel: (nervous) So it would just be, me alone?
Rachel: Huh umm
Rachel: Well thatyknow its just uh, Ive never done that before. Me and him alone.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what do I, what do I do with him?
Rachel: Okay.
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Yeah I think so.
Ross: (To Rachel) I wasnt talking to you.
Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh (Silence) So this is fun, huh?
Rachel: Okay. Uh, want something-want something to drink?
Rachel: Uh great! How do you feel about Diet Coke?
Rachel: Okay. Well thats pretty much all that we haveOh! Oh! Have you ever had a virgin margarita? (Holds up a bottle of margarita mix.)
Rachel: Water it is.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Ben are sitting on the couch bored out of their minds.]
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
Rachel: No, Im not.
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Rachel: Oh, youre one of those. But yknow what? I have two sisters of my own and we just-just tortured each other.
Rachel: Well yknow, we would umm, repeat everything the other said, or uh, wed jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so theyd put salt on their cereal.
Rachel: Yeah? You like that one?
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: Yeah, I-I-I-Im funny Ben, but Im not stupid. Okay?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is reading and there is knock on the door which she answers.]
Rachel: Coming.
Rachel: Uh-oh.
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
Rachel: Oh that.
Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you dont think thats just a little funny?!
Rachel: (looking at his mark) Yes.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Carol: Hey Rachel! (The camera cuts to her face and we see that Ben pulled the quarter trick with her as well.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Ben: (jumping up from behind her chair) Gotcha!! (Rachel jumps up startled.)
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Rachel: Yes oh(To Ben)Do I want sugar in my coffee? (Ben nods no.) No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. (To Ben) Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Rachel: Dont do that.
Rachel: Seriously, your dad doesnt like pranks.
Rachel: Oh damnit!
Rachel: No! Dont say that! Dont say that!
Rachel: No dont! Go back to repeating!
Rachel: Oh crap!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: So now what have we agreed?
Rachel: And-and what else?
Rachel: Very good.
Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Im just visiting my good friend Carol.
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Carol Lesbian?
Rachel: What line?
Rachel: All right, Im sorry. Im sorry I didnt tell you but you were so mad already!
Rachel: Okay, maybe they are not funny to you
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Rachel: I gotta go! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Rachel: Hey!
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads Poop.) WhAh-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I cant do it.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Rachel: Oh I
Rachel: No! Wait! Come on!
Rachel: No you guys (She walks out into the hallway.)
Ross: I-I-am(Suddenly Ross starts screaming and comes falling down the stairs landing just in front of Rachel.)
Rachel: EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! (She runs over to him and finds that it was a dummy and that she had been had.)
Rachel: Well, things change.
Rachel: You really think it would be that different?
Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?
Rachel: Well, we were just talkin about you guys gettin married and how great it is.
Rachel: Thats it? Well I saw that! Ohh-ohh-oh, thank you.
Rachel: Its a pretty cool tux.
Rachel: Aww, look at the little thing.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh, can we read them?
Rachel: (shocked) You let Joey drive it?!
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
Chandler: Come on, dont be crazy. (To Rachel) You dont think theres someone out there better suited for Monica than me, do ya? (Rachel looks at him.)
(Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Take the top down did ya?
Rachel: Grammy, Best New Artist.
Rachel: Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didnt happen.
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Rachel: Gimme the keys!
Rachel: Well no brush!
Rachel: (humoring Phoebe) Oh my God, he dream-cheated on you!
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I cant find her anywhere.
Rachel: My God!
Rachel: Ahhh! (Gets in.) Ooh, nice!
Rachel: Oh my
Rachel: All right. (She starts off.)
(As he prepares to start, he makes several horrible noises that scares Rachel into retreat.)
Rachel: (to the woman) Alimony. (Runs outside.)
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if you gave this girl a chance it would go somewhere.
Rachel: Shut up that was my friend Melissa from college.
Rachel: Oh, no, meh-nah-nah-nah, come on youre gonna ruin it!
Rachel: (disgusted) owwwww...
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.]
Rachel: Really? You think so?
Rachel: (screaming) Melissa!
(Rachel runs a quick slant.)
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?
Rachel: Hi. Ohhh, you got my message.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.
Rachel: Im gonna do it too!
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: I wont speed.
Rachel: Oh well
Rachel: I promise.
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
Rachel: Oh thank you so much. (Picks up the guy's spirit level) Oh oh wait! You forgot your erm...Your game. (hands it to him)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
Rachel: Ohh. Oh, so you really wanted to learn. Yeah, y'know, Pheebs I just wanted to have fun. Ohh, you know who you should go with?
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
[Ross is speaking to Monica and Rachel about tipping the super.]
Rachel: Remind me to introduce you to someone!
Rachel: Fourth gear!!
Policeman: Youre right. It was 37. (Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Its a different guy!
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Uh-oh. (She starts to pull over.)
Rachel: Do you really want an award you didnt win?
RACHEL: Whoa, look at you, you did pretty well.
Rachel: Well, lets see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.
Rachel: (checking her watch) Op! We gotta go! (The girls stand up.)
Rachel: Oh thats great!
Rachel: The commercial?
Rachel: Mexico?
Dr. Miller: 1 2 3! (Rachel jerks back on 3.)
Rachel: Youre gonna be late! Go! Go! (He runs out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
(Phoebe and Rachel walk up.)
Rachel: Hi! Oh you guys look so beautiful!
Rachel: Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesnt give us the right to erase his message!
Rachel: Pheebs is your grandmother maybe saying that you should live here alone?
Rachel: Well of course that is what Im here for!
Rachel: I said Ill do it!
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Hi!
Joey: Uh, I think hes in Rachels room. See ya. (Exits.)
Rachel: (reading the note) Tell Monica Im sorry.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do?
Rachel: Ugh! (To Phoebe) What grandmother?
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Rachel: (pause) You have a son!
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: So youll definitely get onstage, even if you dont win.
Rachel: Okay?
Rachel: No. Why?
Rachel: Anything?
Rachel: All right, weve got to tell her hes gone. (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Okay Phoebe, we can not tell anyone about this.
Rachel: Then why do you ask?!
Rachel: One hour.
Rachel: Ross, shes gonna start getting ready soon!
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?