words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]
Rachel: Hi! Hi Ben!
Rachel: Oh, yeah go ahead.
Rachel: No. No.
Rachel: Ben, its Rachel! (He closes the door.) But whatever.
Rachel: Awww, just like his daddy.
Rachel: What-what about Monica?
Rachel: (nervous) So it would just be, me alone?
Rachel: Huh umm
Rachel: Well thatyknow its just uh, Ive never done that before. Me and him alone.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what do I, what do I do with him?
Rachel: Okay.
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Yeah I think so.
Ross: (To Rachel) I wasnt talking to you.
Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh (Silence) So this is fun, huh?
Rachel: Okay. Uh, want something-want something to drink?
Rachel: Uh great! How do you feel about Diet Coke?
Rachel: Okay. Well thats pretty much all that we haveOh! Oh! Have you ever had a virgin margarita? (Holds up a bottle of margarita mix.)
Rachel: Water it is.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Ben are sitting on the couch bored out of their minds.]
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
Rachel: No, Im not.
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Rachel: Oh, youre one of those. But yknow what? I have two sisters of my own and we just-just tortured each other.
Rachel: Well yknow, we would umm, repeat everything the other said, or uh, wed jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so theyd put salt on their cereal.
Rachel: Yeah? You like that one?
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: Yeah, I-I-I-Im funny Ben, but Im not stupid. Okay?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is reading and there is knock on the door which she answers.]
Rachel: Coming.
Rachel: Uh-oh.
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
Rachel: Oh that.
Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you dont think thats just a little funny?!
Rachel: (looking at his mark) Yes.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Carol: Hey Rachel! (The camera cuts to her face and we see that Ben pulled the quarter trick with her as well.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Ben: (jumping up from behind her chair) Gotcha!! (Rachel jumps up startled.)
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Rachel: Yes oh(To Ben)Do I want sugar in my coffee? (Ben nods no.) No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. (To Ben) Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Rachel: Dont do that.
Rachel: Seriously, your dad doesnt like pranks.
Rachel: Oh damnit!
Rachel: No! Dont say that! Dont say that!
Rachel: No dont! Go back to repeating!
Rachel: Oh crap!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: So now what have we agreed?
Rachel: And-and what else?
Rachel: Very good.
Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Im just visiting my good friend Carol.
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Carol Lesbian?
Rachel: What line?
Rachel: All right, Im sorry. Im sorry I didnt tell you but you were so mad already!
Rachel: Okay, maybe they are not funny to you
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Rachel: I gotta go! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Rachel: Hey!
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads Poop.) WhAh-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I cant do it.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Rachel: Oh I
Rachel: No! Wait! Come on!
Rachel: No you guys (She walks out into the hallway.)
Ross: I-I-am(Suddenly Ross starts screaming and comes falling down the stairs landing just in front of Rachel.)
Rachel: EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! (She runs over to him and finds that it was a dummy and that she had been had.)
Rachel: Well, he's coming from Jersey, he said he would get here as fast as he could!
Rachel: (whispering) Why? (Monica gesticulates mumbling something that starts with "because") Seriously I did not understand a word that you said.
(Ross, Rachel and Joey come back from the bathroom. They discover that Monica and Ethan aren't finished talking to each other yet.)
Rachel: Oh you did, there are twenty in here.
Estelle: How do you do. (to Rachel and Monica) Ooh, you two girls were outstanding! (to Joey) Did they have representation?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachels still down.]
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are eating spaghetti in the living room while watching TV and Rachel drops some on the floor.]
Rachel: You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang, except Rachel, is watching a new singer.]
Rachel: Yeah, they were very y'know wrestley. But, I guess that's normal?
Rachel: Oh God... Okay. Alright. Alright. Okay. Ross, please don't hate me.
Ross: No, of course, Um Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if if in 35 years, were half as happy as you guys are, well count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
Rachel: Ooooh! Honey, well we'll find you something. Do you wanna wear my black jacket?
Rachel: Yeah, and none of these stupid grocery questions, real personal questions.
Rachel: (on tape) I-I knowI had put them in in-in my desk at work and I completely forgot about them until today.
Rachel: Well, does a good student drink seven beers during his first lesson?
Rachel: Jealous of what? Of your lack of responsiblity? You, your immaturity? Your total disregard of other people's feelings?
RACHEL: Oh they're in the top drawer. Hurry.
Rachel: All right. We figured you might respond this way, so we have a backup offer.
[Scene: Restaurant, Rachel and Ross and Dr. Green are having dinner.]
Rachel: It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. (Pause) Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson.
Rachel: Hey, how are those tapes working out for ya?
RACHEL: (singing) "...marenge, thank you honey, and do the cha-cha. And while she like to be a star, Tony always tended bar. At the, wait, wait, everybody.."
Rachel: Oh, that�s what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me?
Rachel: It's open! (Joey walks in) Hi, Joe!
Rachel: (interrupting) I bet he sensed that I was ready to have sex with another guy.
Rachel: (gets up from the sofa and moves to the kitchen but Joey blocks her way) Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry.
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Rachel: Just give us our apartment back!
[Scene: The porch, Bonnie is coming back from swimming, Rachel is reading.]
Rachel: Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has! (Kisses him on the cheek and exits.)
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.
Rachel: Ahh .So Wow The spring line, its really going to be great this year, huh?
Rachel: And you just get to be cool Aunt Phoebe!
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Rachel: Better than Chandler. (Phoebe exhales as if to say, "Like what isnt?")
RACHEL: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
Rachel: She didn't hang up either!
[Flashback scene from last week, Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there.]
Rachel: Yknow, bonus night. Yknow, when two people break up but they get back together for just one night.
Rachel: I know you did! I bought the same one! And if she sees your table shes gonna know that I lied to her. I told her ours was an original.
Rachel: And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba.
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
Ross: (entering) Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctors appointment.
Rachel: So that there will be a decent place for me to sit.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, The Halloween party has started. Monica is setting out some food as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Um, excuse me Gavin, I have a question I need to ask you.
Rachel: Well, it wasn't just me, alright? He freaked out too! He couldn't even undo my bra!
Rachel: Well, sure! Come in! (He enters) Well, what-what happened to your girlfriend?
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Chandler are eating the cheesecake right out of the box.]
Rachel: Hi! (He hands her, her mail) Thanks, hey so uh whatd you do last night?
Joey: Hey-hey, Pheebs, check it out, we already learned a song. (To Rachel) Ready? One, two, three, four...
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
Rachel: Okay, umm, Im gonna get my sweater. (Walks away.)
Rachel: Shoot. Oh, I can't believe I did this!
Rachel: Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father.
Phoebe: Oh, just look at her... (girls move toward Rachel on the balcony)
Rachel: (on the couch) Oh hi! Yknow, I just wanted to see if there were any leads on the old job front.
Rachel: I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.
Rachel: Yeah? I'm sorry about your girlfriend.
Rachel: Yeah, I just get a little bummed when my birthday's over.
RACHEL: Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything.
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. It's just Ross and Rachel. They put the camera on a tripod in the kitchen and they are standing in front of the camera.]
Rachel: Joey relax! My mother picked her up two hours ago. You were there!
RACHEL: Look you guys, I have to go, I'm the Maid-of-Honor. And besides you know what I just need to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself.
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Ross: Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing. (Rachel gives him a dirty look) Nothing, just, just, I'm fine.
Phoebe and Rachel: DANGER!!!!!
Phoebe: Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?
RACHEL: Agh, what a jerk. I kept talking about you and he kept asking me out. I mean, naturally, you know, I said no.
Rachel: Oh my God, look-look hes taking off her clothes!
Rachel: Hi. Sorry, things arent working out so well.
Rachel: This is the worst date ever. How could you set me up with this creep?
Rachel: Oh, wow thanks! (Reading the card) Oh youre in real estate!
Rachel: (gets it) Oh. Yes! I would so move out!
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. I guess we have to eat.
Rachel: Oh, you are losing. Definitely losing. (phone rings)
Rachel: Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how was China, you? (Hits him with the flowers.)
Ross: Oh what are you kidding? Shes gorgeous, its all Rachel.
Monica: I can't believe we are at a real college party! (Rachel laughs excitedly) I have to pee so bad!
Rachel: Uh...no. No, no, in fact, you're not having a boy.
Rachel: You are never going to believe what happened to me today.
Rachel: Oh, no problem. Im so glad I could help. Happy for you. (She playfully punches him.)
Rachel: No, I also had to go to a couple houses with him as his girlfriend. Oh, I am just awful with children!
Rachel: Oh my God! (She licks the top picture and hands them back.)
Rachel: Wow! This is great! Look at all these cups! This is so weird.
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel and Phoebe walk in, loaded with bags.]
Monica: (to Rachel and Phoebe) Y'know, theres a Starbucks about three blocks down.
Rachel: Oh, did you beat him at a board game? He turns into such a baby when he starts to lose.
(Ross keeps giggling and Rachel decides upon revenge. She gets up and kisses the rather large man in the seat in front of Ross on the back of his head. The guy turns around angrily.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from before the commercial break. Monica is walking into the apartment followed by Ross and Rachel.]
Rachel: Ohh, it's me and La Poo! Wow! I miss that dog.