words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone except Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a magazine.]
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: So, Im in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. (She hands the magazine to Joey.)
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Rachel: Okay, dont listen to him. Please?
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
Rachel: Oh yeah, Id actually love a blueberry muffin and a chamomile tea.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
[The next one is from Episode 609: The One Where Ross Got High, Rachel is describing her desert to Joey and Ross.]
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Rachel: Hey, come on now!
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
Rachel: You too!
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are eating spaghetti in the living room while watching TV and Rachel drops some on the floor.]
Rachel: Oh, Joey! Sorry!
Rachel: Oh but look! Thats gonna leave a stain!
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
(Rachel throws some of hers down.)
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
[Another series of flashbacks begins with Episode 413: The One With Rachels Crush, Joey is telling Rachel and Phoebe how he picks up women.]
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Rachel: Oh my God, Jill!
Jill: Oh my God, Rachel!
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.)
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe they didnt put it in the part where you said you didnt watch soap operas.
(Monica passes the Envelopes on to Ross, Joey and Rachel.)
Rachel: (not sure what to do) Uh, it was very nice meeting you. (They continue to ignore her.)
Rachel: Hes downstairs getting the rest of the stuff out of the cab.
Ross: (Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing)
RACHEL: Hi. Listen, I was um, thinkin' about. . .
Rachel: Oh, well, she’s asleep now. Stop forcing that thing on her.
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey is in the kitchen and the telephone rings.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
Monica: Ok fine. I'll handle this. (goes to Phoebe who's talking to Rachel) Phoebe?
Phoebe: You’re just so mean to each other! And I don’t want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Rachel: (jerks back from the tester) What?!
[Scene: Pauls Cabin, Paul and Rachel are sitting on the couch drinking wine and talking.]
Rachel: Sandy made Madeleines.
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Rachel: I don't know! He hasn't called me since that one time when we went out. I see him in the hallway, we flirt, I'm all ha-ha-ha-ha, and nothing.
Joey: (after Ross is gone) What is he doing? What, Emily, thinks Ross's furniture has got Rachel coodies?
(Ross leaves to do so and Rachel enters with a guy.)
Rachel: Yeah, yeah... It's... "climax your way to better skin".
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are cautiously serving Phoebe some tea.]
Rachel: Wow, everything looks so good! I think I'm gonna have the chicken.
[Scene: Rachel's room. Rachel is attending to Emma. Amy is standing behind her.]
Paul: Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or Ill have you fired. What you heard was, "Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!"
Rachel: Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um.. Ross, could I talk to you in private?
Rachel: All right, fine! But I had too! I had to do it for my career!
Rachel: Ish. I just don�t think I can bear it.
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Rachel: Oh, nothing, hes just goofy like that, I actually, hardly notice it anymore.
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
Rachel: Oh honey, I'm sorry we can't help you there, 'cause we're cuddlily sleepers. (Chandler makes an 'Ewww' face) Okay, I'm late for work.
Rachel: That sounds great! Id love to live at Warrens!! I love Warren! Thank you!
Phoebe: Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing.
Rachel: Only like a month!
Rachel: (interrupting) Relaxi-Taxi!
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, time lapse, Ross is massaging out a cramp on Rachels hip as Marc opens up the privacy screen.]
Rachel: I dont know! But maybe if we keep that drawer shut, itll die.
Rachel: (to Tag) Hi.
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is returning from having removed Rachels panties.]
Rachel: Ross, tonight was about the two of you getting along. (Ross groans and rubs his neck) Oh, would you just see my chiropractor, already.
Rachel: Why did you invite him?? I can't stand that guy!
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Rachel: Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
(He closes the door again. Once again, Rachel knocks (harder this time) and he answers it.)
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
Rachel: I... I... I... (again saying something that cannot be understood)
RACHEL and MONICA: One two three. [Rachel picks rock, Monica picks scissors]
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Marc: Hey! Smile! (Points his camera at Ross and Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah, ok. Let me just grab my night vision goggles and my stun gun.
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Rachel: Nope! (She puts one in her mouth and spits it out, then does it again in another direction.)
Rachel: IOhh! (Moves over and lets Eldad sit on the couch.)
Rachel: Yeah so get ready to hear alot of ehm...boohaki, goshdarnit and brotherpucker.
Rachel: Oh, I don't think she likes the new Hugsy.
Rachel: What, so I can't lokk nice? There might be doctors there.
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Rachel and Monica are arriving to talk to Ross after the lecture, but are there early.]
Chandler: (smiling at Monica) Right. (to Rachel) So how're you doing?
PHOEBE: (imitating Rachel) "Oh, I have to get my number back.� Oh my God.� He's gone."� (smiles) Dead on.
(Rachel tries to stop mid-swing, and the swing starts to turn from side to side)
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Rachel: Yeah! Oh by the way, thank you for loaning us Pamela and Yasmine.
[Cut to later, Phoebe is still in the chair and Rachel is laying down as Monica enters.]
[Scene: The Auditorium, Ross and Rachel are about to... you know.]
Rachel: Where am I gonna get a cowgirl outfit on Thanksgiving?
Rachel: Its all gonna be okay. Theyre just so happy that Im not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I should bear.
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...
Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!
Rachel: Phoebe! It's 6 o'clock in the morning! Why aren't you at Gary's?
Rachel: Well, you should be, this is all your fault! You meddled in our relationship!!
Rachel: It kinda worked. I mean yknow, I dont know about you buy I havent thought about our thing since all this.
Rachel: Okay, um, I...(Phoebe walks into her room.) All right Phoebe look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. OK? I handled the situation horribly and I should not have lied to you.
Rachel: Why hasnt he called Rachel? Why? Why? I dont understand. Why? He said hell call. Why? Why? Chandler Im telling you she has flipped out, shes gone crazy!
TERRY: Rachel, it's not that your friend is bad, it's that she's so bad, she makes me want to put my finger through my eye into my brain and swirl it around.
Rachel: Well look, if you dont like this (The audiences laughter at Chandlers progress cuts out the rest of Rachels line.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hi! It's me. And soup. (to Rachel) Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
Rachel: All right! (Throws them back under the cushion.)
[cut to later, Joey, Rachel, Ross, and Tim are watching the football game, and they all cheer loudly.]
Rachel: I woke up today with the biggest smile on my face.
(Rachel calmly wipes the spittle off her face.)
Rachel: (in a tearful voice) Oh... Oh boy... (she turns around and sees Ross) Hi...
Rachel: Wo-women? You mean like old women?
Joey: Well.. hey, you know what else I could use? There's a scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom, and she doesn't know he's there - which never happened with us! And he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her... you know? (In a romantic voice) And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your make-up, when I would think to myself, my God, she...is... beautiful... (Rachel looks very moved) and it hurts so much, cuz I knew I could never tell you (pauses, while looking at her with sentiment) but it was worth it just to be there looking at you.
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.
RACHEL: Well, I was thinking maybe a um, a romantic dinner with um, candles and wine and then uh, maybe going back to my place for um, dessert.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, and now Rachel are organizing CDs.]
Rachel: No, not even close. Forget Vail, forget seeing my family, forget shoop, shoop, shoop.
Rachel: (stunned) Oh my God, they told us that was for the mascot!
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, Rachel is already there with her date, Tommy who's played by Ben Stiller who will be in There's Something About Mary and Meet The Parents, as Ross and his date, Cailin, arrive.]
Ross: What? Oh yeah. (He moves next to her head.) Im sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I (Wanders towards Rachels feet) reallyI should have been thinking about you Rach
Rachel: Oh my God, I'm starting to look like my great aunt, Muriel.
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
[Scene: Barry's Office, Rachel and Barry are getting dressed.]
Rachel: No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down!
Rachel: (crying) No, I know! I get it! Its funny!
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is showing Ross around the newly decorated living room.]