words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey, so did everything go okay with the annulment?
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Rachel: Okay, umm, Im gonna get my sweater. (Walks away.)
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, do you have any gum?
Rachel: Oh? Yeah! Sure!
Rachel: Oh but Phoebe, were gonna be late for the movie.
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Rachel: Yeah, were, were actually just gonna walk cause its right up there at the Angelica.
Ross: Well, okay so, I dont have it all worked out quite yet. Just dont say anything to Rachel, please?
Phoebe: Rachel is one of my closest friends. (Pause) Although, being the only one who knows anything about this does makes me feel special. Okay!
(Rachels cab backs up.)
Rachel: (to the driver) Okay, stop-stop! Phoebe?!
Rachel: What was that?!
Rachel: I havent seen it yet!
Rachel: Noooooooo!!
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
Monica: Hey, have you seen Rachel?
Monica: Okay, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her could you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesnt seem so bad? (Exits.)
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is pacing anxiously waiting for Rachel.]
Monica: Ugh, I thought you were Rachel!
(They hug as Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ugh, the worse day! Yknow, you think youre making progress at work and then your boss calls you Raquel.
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh my God! Thats so great! Im so happy for you guys!
Rachel: And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together!
Rachel: And Chandler, youre gonna have to watch those long showers you take in the morning because you know Raquel cant be late.
Rachel: Ohh! This is so exciting! Oh God (Gasps and starts to sing) Come and knock on my door
Meg: Well, I dont care about the divorces either, but I wouldnt date him. Its just that hes obviously still in love with this Rachel girl.
Phoebe: (leaning to him) She said, "Hes obviously still in love with this Rachel girl." (He glares at her.)
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are still debating about how to tell Rachel that Chandlers moving in and shes moving out.]
Chandler: Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel what is actually gonna happen?
Chandler: You just said Of course youre my best friend. Would you please tell Rachel though?
Rachel: (entering) Hey roomie!
Rachel: (gasps) Are you pregnant?!
Rachel: Um-hmm.
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God! Oh, thats funny, I cant believe I did that.
Rachel: Okay. (Sits back and resumes her reading.)
Rachel: Sure? (Monica hands her one.) Thanks.
(Rachel mumbles uh-huh and spits the half-eaten cookie out onto the tissue.)
Rachel: Monica, where did you get these?!
Rachel: Ooh, good God, theyre so yummy! (She re-ingests the previously expelled cookie matter from the tissue.)
Monica: So I, I told Rachel it was just gonna be the two of us.
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Ross: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk
Russell: (interrupting) Im sorry, is this the same Rachel whos name you said at the altar in the second marriage?
Russell: And well need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Russell: Of course you did. Look Ross, you cant get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
Ross: Uh-ha, what about someone who looks like Rachel? (Russell glares at him.) I will think about the therapy.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is painting her toe nails as Monica enters.]
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: (grabbing the star) What the hell is that?
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel: Wow! Mon, thanks! I love this plate!
Rachel: Mon, honey youre not dying. Im just moving out. Yknow, I mean were gonna see each other all the time.
Rachel: Are you okay? Youre not blinking.
Rachel: Oh, all right. But yknow I gotta say, I dont, I dont think six years counts as an era.
Rachel: What is the matter with you?!
Rachel: All right, fine, but dont get mad at me. Its-its just a little hard to believe.
Rachel: Well yknow, its you guys. You-you do this kind of stuff! Yknow? I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas and then you backed out! I guess Im not upset because I dont see you guys going through with it. Im sorry.
Monica: Rachel, its going to happen. Chandler is gonna move in here.
Rachel: But I
Rachel: It is? Really?
Rachel: (starting to lose her composure) I mean were not, were not gonna live together anymore?
Rachel: What? Oh my God! Im gonna miss you so much! (Starts to cry.)
Rachel: I mean its the end of an era!
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Ross: I I do, I do not love Rachel. Im gonna tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Okay? Would I do that if I loved her?
Ross: I do not have feelings for Rachel! Okay?! (He goes into her apartment.)
[Cut to Monica and Rachels as Ross walks through the door. Rachel is holding the chrome star and crying.]
Rachel: Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to move out and everything is changing.
Rachel: Thank you.
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up?
Phoebe: I know. Then, Im gonna marry Chandler for the money and youll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Phoebe: But then we ditch those two and thats when we get married. Well have Chandlers money and Rachels kids and getting custody will be easy because of Rachels drinking problem.
RACHEL: Yeah, I love that story. Um, I got a question for you guys. Why do people keep is saying that is good to see me up and about?
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: (trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!
Rachel: Ohhh!!
Rachel: Oh, terrific! That'll be $2,000.
Rachel: Ross, I don't, I just don't think it's going to fit.
Rachel: I'm doin' good, baby. How you doin'?
Rachel: Good luck to ya!
Rachel: (miserably) No, no, that's not what we ordered... We ordered a fat-free crust with extra cheese.
Rachel: Wow!
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? There's only one way I'm leaving this hotel room.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are in pajamas and Monica is making something in the blender as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: What-what, wait a minute, you don't think that's why he wants me back?
Rachel: No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesnt mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked.
Rachel: Well, y'know, possibly. (pause) You didnt tell him that, though? Right?
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
Rachel: Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! Its so cute!
Rachel: Monica, nothing has even happened yet, and you're already so...
Rachel: Okay, just a little scared. What's going on Ross?
(The door opens. Rachel is standing there. Her coat is muddy and torn, her hair is dishevelled and her face is bruised. Everyone turns to look)
Rachel: All right, okay, look, what if you could keep the apartment and get the tickets?
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! (Throws some more rice.)
Rachel: Yeah, I know, I know, I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel! He deserves to have all the information and then he can make an informed decision.
Rachel: Really?!
Rachel: Because I knew you were lying!
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: You and your stupid fear. I hate your fear. I would like to take you and your fear....
Rachel: Pancho Vila?
Rachel: (under her breath) Sucker!
(Rachel turns to Ross stunned.)
(Ross and Rachel enter.)
Rachel: Oh my God.
Rachel: No!
Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
Rachel: Whoa-oh, what's-what's that? (Points.)
Rachel: SSSHHHHTTT!!He's asking her a question!!
Rachel: Yeah, all right. All right! Just keep walkin'! All right?
Emily: But, we cant go now. It looks like Rachels gonna put on a skit.
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: Okay! So, well just stay married.
(Rachel stops fast forwarding.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning from her interview attempt.]
Rachel: You are asking me to be your wife!
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Emily wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it. (The phone starts ringing.) I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't. (The phone keeps ringing.) Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy!
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
Rachel: Oh! (She's trying to recover while still on the floor.)
Rachel: Hey, so did everything go all right with the annulment?
Rachel: Oh-oh, Pottery Barn! (Grabs the aforementioned catalog and holds the rest back out to Chandler.) You can throw the rest away.
RACHEL: Monica, let it go.
Rachel: Pheebs?
Ross: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!
Rachel: Phoebe, no! This is, this is insane.
Rachel: Okay, just give me the damn drops! (Grabs them and storms out.)
[Scene: The Virgin Atlantic flight to London that Rachel is on.]
Monica: (interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel Im sorry! I have to start getting ready! Im getting married today!
Rachel: I love him. Hes so pretty I wanna cry! I dont know what to do. Tell me what to do.
Rachel: For like a half an hour! Man, you can lie about Sweden!
Rachel: (bowing) Hello!
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
RACHEL: God, Ross, look, what you and I have is special, all Paolo and I ever had was...
Rachel: Hey, Pheebs, quick question for ya.
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
Rachel: I mean, y'know I'm just gonna have to accept it (She grabs the rest of the pictures)
Rachel: (entering) Monica? You gonna be very proud of me. I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses.
Rachel: We took our apartment back!! (Slams the door shut.)
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
Ross: I wanna go talk to Rachel for a minute, are you gonna be okay alone for a bit?
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
(Rachel comes out from her room wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt)
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant
Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: Oh yeah, I totally agree.
Joey: Oh Rachel look, don't say that, I think you just need a hug from Joey. Come on. Come on. (She hugs him and Joey looks out the window.) She's back! Hot girl's back!
Joey: Rachel, would you stop saying that?! Hey-hey look, remember on the show when-when Caprice was dying and she gave me
Rachel: (flinches again) Monica! Come on!
Rachel: Phoebe? (She turns her head further away.) I'm sorry about the whole lifting out thing. (Moves over next to her.) You gotta come with me!
RACHEL: [answering the door] Mr. Treeger.
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Rachel: Vogue! Hey, so tell me about this Jane Eyre woman.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
Rachel: Oh, I read that in high school.
Rachel: No, just singing. (Does a little song.)
Rachel: She is so cute! You could fit her right in your little pocket!
Rachel: Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why Im not drinking on this date tonight. "Umm, Im a recovering alcoholic. Im a Mormon," or "I got so hammered last night Im still a little drunk?"
Rachel: Oh, thats true.
Rachel: Well y'know, we have 7 people and like 10 pizzas, what do you think?
Rachel: What? What kind of a regatta gala starts at night?!
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Rachel: Pam! Oh God okay, just imagine this, "The Pam."
Rachel: And Mrs.?!
(Monica and Rachel's door opens and Rachel and Paolo emerge)
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.