words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is introducing Phoebe, who is playing her guitar for the crowd.]
Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Rachel: Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!
Rachel: Wow, you guys, this is big.
(Monica and Rachel look at Phoebe strangely.)
Rachel: That had to hurt!
Rachel: Alright, somebody.
Rachel: Um... Ross?
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel.
Rachel: Oh come on, I already went.
Rachel: Oh, alright. The weirdest place would have to be... (sigh)... oh, the foot of the bed.
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
Rachel: I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park.
Rachel: There, well, see? Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course.
Rachel: No, he said we were holding up the people behind us.
Rachel: I mean, do you think there are people who go through life never having that kind of...
Rachel: Yeah right.
Rachel: (sigh) OK.
Rachel: You don't.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: You do?
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great. (she playfully rubs his head and gets up)
Joey: You and Rachel.
Joey: Yeeeeaaaahhh! What's messing you up? The wine? The candles? The moonlight? You've just got to go up to her and say, 'Rachel, I think that...' (Rachel comes into the room behind them)
Rachel: What are you shushing?
Rachel: Ahhhh!
Rachel: Huh. (she agrees, but looks very confused)
Joey: OK. (Ross goes out on the balcony to talk to Rachel)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Ross and Rachel are talking.]
Rachel: Hmmm... this is so nice.
Rachel: OK.
Rachel: Ohhh!!!! (looking at something behind Ross)
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! (a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross)
[Cut to inside. Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
Rachel: During a blackout? He'd get trampled!
[Scene: The hallway of Monica's building. Phoebe and Rachel are trying to find the cat's owner.]
Rachel: Oh. (they knock at the next door, Mr. Heckles answers) Hi. We just found this cat and we're looking for the owner.
Rachel: Bob Buttons?
Mr. Heckles: (as Phoebe and Rachel leave) You owe me a cat.
[Scene: Rachel has gone off on her own to look for the cat's owner.]
Rachel: Here, kitty-kitty. Here kitty-kitty. Where did you go, little kitty-kitty-kitty? Here kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty...
(While looking at the floor for the cat, Rachel runs into a pair of legs. She slowly gets up and sees a gorgeous Italian hunk holding the cat. Who, by the way, you'll hate very, very soon. The man. Not the cat.)
Rachel: Wow. (she exhales in amazement, blowing the candle out)
Rachel: (entering with Paolo, arm in arm) Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica.
Rachel: And Joey....
Rachel: And Ross.
Rachel: (proudly) He doesn't speak much English.
Rachel: Look at that!
Rachel: Oh... Italy, I think.
Rachel: Well, the cat... the cat turned out to be Paolo's cat!
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
Rachel: Oh, I found him. He was Paolo's cat.
Rachel: Ah, Paolo, this is Phoebe.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Paolo are at the window. Ross and Joey are watching disgustedly.]
Paolo: (something romantic in Italian about Rachel and the stars)
(Rachel walks away from Paolo, laughing.)
Rachel: I have absolutely no idea.
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
Phoebe: I know, I just want to bite his bottom lip. (Rachel looks at her) But I won't.
Rachel: God, the first time he smiled at me... those three seconds were more exciting than three weeks in Bermuda with Barry.
Rachel: Y'know, I know it's totally superficial and we have absolutely nothing in common, and we don't even speak the same language but Goooooooddddddd....
Ross: Listen. Um, listen. Something you should... know... um, Rachel and I... we're kind of a thing.
Ross: No, no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had, but that's... see, that's not the point. See, um, the point is that... Rachel and I should be, er, together. You know, and if you get in the.... um...
(The lights come back on, and Rachel and Paolo are making out. Ross clutches his chest.)
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Rachel: Thanks!
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Rachel: (changing the subject) Yknow Bob in Human Resources
Rachel: I know. Im sorry.
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Ross: (recognizing her) Oh my God! Rachel Green?
Rachel: So just bring it back downstairs, whats the problem?
RACHEL: (as herself) "Well, should we just continue to live together and not really tell each other how we're really feeling?"
(Rachel enters from her new room.)
Joey: Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Thank God youre pretty. (Exits.)
Rachel: Youre jokin right?
Janine: (to Monica and Rachel) Bye.
Rachel: Ohhhhhhhh God. (climbs off his back)
Rachel: Oh, oh, oh, Ill get Rainy Day Bear!! (runs to get him)
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Rachel: Ugh. (She goes over and lays her head on Phoebes lap.)
Rachel: Yep!
Chandler: (To Rachel) He has a gun!
Rachel: So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?
Rachel: Oh. (Realizes.) Ohhhhhhhhh .
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Rachel: No. (grabs an eggroll) And then I called him, and he wasnt there.
Rachel: (shocked) What?
Phoebe: Rachel, what the hell is this?!
Rachel: You found me a guy?
Rachel: Oh, thank you.
Rachel: Ohh! I would kill for a salmon skin roll right now!
Rachel: What are you guys doing?
Rachel: All right.
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
Rachel: Yes, Ill meet em.
Rachel: Wow! I mean I had no idea that that was gonna
Ross: I know. (Rachel bends down to Emma and Ross looks over his shoulder again, afraid)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
Monica: Eldad, this is Rachel.
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Oh, hi.
Rachel: Yeah?
Chandler: There you go! There you are! (Rachel stares at Monica and Chandler)
Rachel: Yeah, Im good.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Yeah, thats okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.
Rachel: Ill tell ya who should be embarrassed! Its you guys! Come on! This is ridiculous! Thank you very much, but I do not need you to get me a date!
(He starts to get up, but Rachel stops him.)
Rachel: Thank you! (Storms out.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. (points at Chandler, who holds up the cue ball as a Remember me? thing) Listen, can we please have lunch the next time Im in the city?
Rachel: Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. (to Ross:) Which one of us should go to dinner?
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Rachel: Huh. All right.
Rachel: Hmm. Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you, why don't you just pay the hundred bucks? The party's gonna cost you way more than that.
Rachel: I'm sorry, what?
(Ross gets up and gestures to Rachel, we cut to Joey and Rachel)
Rachel: No seriously! Seriously! What has happened to the sanctity of marriage?
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Rachel: Oh, little Xs! Great! That makes up for everything!
Rachel: (handing her the wine) Okay honey, now I'm gonna try to listen from right here!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is pacing anxiously waiting for Rachel.]
Rachel: Okay, Im done. Do mine.
Rachel: No, there's a party. There's a party. But the power, that is still up for grabs. You follow me?
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Rachel and Monica are waiting as the doctor arrives.]
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
[Scene: Rachels office, Phoebe hands Rachel a key card.]
Monica: I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! Its Monica. (listens) Kay. (listens) Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
Rachel: I'd say from the looks of it; our naked buddy is moving.
Rachel: Oh no, I really dont want any(He takes the picture)Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe enters to find Rachel still packing.]
Rachel: I can't believe it! I got a second interview!
Rachel: Noooo... look, all I know is that I cannot wait a week until I see him. I mean, this is just too big. Y'know, I just, I've just gotta talk to him. I... I gotta... OK, I'll see you later. (opens door)
Rachel: And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket?
Rachel: I cant talk to you. I cant even look at you right now!
[Cut back to Joey and Rachels apartment.]
(Rachel dials her number.)
Joey: Right, and you go with Rachel, Bonnies free tonight?
Rachel: (entering) Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go!
Rachel: What?!!
Rachel: Already? Thats pretty bad what you did.
Rachel: (mocking him) You fell asleep?!
(Rachel gets up to the jetway.)
Rachel: That is the most ridiculous...
Rachel: I did not sell you out.
Rachel: Fine!
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
Rachel: So now, what exactly is the point of the box?
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Rachel: Noo! Oh God we didwe didnt, we didnt uhh
Rachel: (entering) Ugh, you will not believe what that sleaze-ball from Ralph Lauren did too me!