words in movies
Chandler: No-no-no, if you unplug it, Ill have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. (She unplugs it.) No! (And plugs it back in.) Hey look at that! Look at that, its still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM (Read Only Memory, its a memory chip.) Chip in it or something!
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are about to read another one of Joey's efforts.]
Kate: By the way, he dumped me tonight after he read my review.
Erica: Yeah, when I read about you two, I was pretty sure I wanted you, but I just thought we should meet face to face. (to the agency guy). I've made my decision. I choose them.
Frank: They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!
(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)
(They both start to read ahead.)
Phoebe: Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it!
Mr. Zelner: Umm, no. Thanks, but Ill give these to Betty. (Rachel glances at Tag to say, "See?") So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two?
Phoebe: No! You should've read it yourself!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Joey: No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times.
Chandler: Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...?
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
Mackenzie: I read a lot.
Carol: (noticing a kid who has picked up a copy of Variety to read) Hey, that kid looks familiar.
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either?!
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
Rachel: Oh, I read that in high school.
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
(They spilt into their sexes and the girls read Monicas and the guys read Chandlers. The girls gasp and groan and the guys laugh hysterically.
Joey: Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Phoebe: My guy is well read.
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
Kim: I didnt read it.
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Rachel: (hugging him) So did you read your evaluation yet?
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.
Phoebe: Because my psychic is dead! She mustve read the cards wrong!
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
Chandler: Ino! I didn't read the box before I opened it. And you can't return a box after you've opened the box.
Rachel: Oh, can we read them?
JOEY: Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her?
Monica: You read comic books right?
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Chandler: I didnt know you read tea leaves.
Monica: Okay, Im done. Read mine.
JOEY: See, this is why I don't date women who read. Uh-oh.
Joey: (entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Erica: Yeah, I read some great applications, but then I thought “who better then a minister to raise a child!”
Phoebe: Thats nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
Joey: Thats help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Julio: Flowers of Evil, by Beaudalire. Have you read it?
Chandler: I believe I read that somewhere!
Chandler: David, I'm pretending to read here!!
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Monica: Yeah, well I dont think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch.
Charlie: Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic!
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Chandler: There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim...
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Ursula: No, I umm, I read about her in Moms suicide note.
PHOEBE: Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this?
Joey: You know, the baby can't read, Mike!
Monica: With a wok? (Chandlers holding a wok.) I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep.
Ursula: Well, its pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
Ross: Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Putting his hand up to block his mouth.) Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I-I came to the city for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, lets talk more about you. Hmm.
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
(Monica and Rachel begin to read from the script.)
Rachel: Well, umm, I guess I read Little Women more than once. But I mean thats a classic, whats so great about The Shining?
Joey: Ow, I'm just going over the script now! You wanna read lines with me?
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Its just, there is nothing! The citys full!
Monica: No. He teaches a course on food criticism at the New School, so before we go to the movies I wanna go by there and make him try my bouillabaisse again. Oh, I cannot wait to read the front page of the Post tomorrow! "Restaurant reviewer admits: I was wrong about Monica."
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
Ross: Well, I tried! But when I got to my lawyers office all I could hear was, "Three divorces. Three divorces!" Look, I just dont want my tombstone to read, Ross Gellar, Three Divorces.
Chandler: Look, I want those basketball seats as much as you do! Okay, but we cant leave in the small apartment after weve lived here! Didnt you ever read Flowers for Algernon?
Rachel: Good! Cause Ive got a product report to read, its like eight pages, I hope I dont fall asleep.
Rachel: Yeah, there was. It wasthere the corner of the library where-where all these dusty books that nobody ever readYes, there was.
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Rachel: Well, I've brought some books. We could read.
Chandler: Can we read it? Can you print out another copy?
Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do.
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
(Ross bangs his fists together to tell Chandler off, like what was learned last season. Read about it here.)
Ross: Gandolf the wizard. (Joey is still confused) Hello! Didnt you read Lord of the Rings in high school?
Joey: So what movie do you want to seeAnd not another one I have to read. Okay? I get enough of that from books.
Joey: Sure, sure. Ok, (clears his throat and starts to read from his script. He starts talking in a fake French accent, making gestures with his hands) "Bleu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu" (Phoebe looks astonished, annoyed and disgusted, Joey seems very proud though) See?
Rachel: (We see a flashback as Rachel describes what happened.) All right, we were shaking hands and he kinda leaned toward me Y'know maybe he was going to open the door, but I totally miss read him and I uhhh (The flashback shows that she kissed him on the cheek.)
Ross: Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didnt actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. (Apollo 8 was the first one that orbited the moon and the one that read the Christmas Story from the orbit of the moon on Christmas Eve, 1968. They also took the famous Earthrise picture of the Earth rising over the moon.)
Mr. Geller: ...And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem.
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
Phoebe: That’s nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Chandler: Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us?
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
Young Ethan: You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.