words in movies
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
Phoebe: Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. (Chandler and Monica look puzzled) Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one.
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Monica: Okay. I-I can't watch. (Leaves as sits down to read the paper.)
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
CHAN: OK, look, that is one guy's opinion, alright. Phoebs, read yours.
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
ROSS: I just wanna read something. It's your pro list.
Ross: Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice!
Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?
Mr. Geller: Don't listen to your mother. You're independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid... and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles...
CHAN: Does anyone have one from a different paper? Ross, read yours.
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
Joey: Yeah but I didnt read anything.
Rachel: How often do you read it?
EDDIE: I tell ya, I-, I'm gonna go read in my room for a little while.
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Joey: Wait a minute. That sounds a little familiar! Did they already do that one? Cause I think I read it!
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
PHOEBE: Oooh, so so so, did you read the book?
ROSS: No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good.
Rachel: Well, I was gonna, but I accidentally read something else.
CHAN: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary.
Phoebe: Yeah but why didn't you just say that you didn't read the book?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are about to read another one of Joey's efforts.]
Erica: Yeah, when I read about you two, I was pretty sure I wanted you, but I just thought we should meet face to face. (to the agency guy). I've made my decision. I choose them.
Kate: By the way, he dumped me tonight after he read my review.
Frank: They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!
(They both start to read ahead.)
Mr. Zelner: Umm, no. Thanks, but Ill give these to Betty. (Rachel glances at Tag to say, "See?") So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two?
Phoebe: No! You should've read it yourself!
Mackenzie: I read a lot.
Phoebe: Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it!
(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)
Chandler: Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...?
Joey: No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either?!
Carol: (noticing a kid who has picked up a copy of Variety to read) Hey, that kid looks familiar.
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
Rachel: Oh, I read that in high school.
(They spilt into their sexes and the girls read Monicas and the guys read Chandlers. The girls gasp and groan and the guys laugh hysterically.
Phoebe: My guy is well read.
Joey: Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
Rachel: (hugging him) So did you read your evaluation yet?
Kim: I didnt read it.
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?
Phoebe: Because my psychic is dead! She mustve read the cards wrong!
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
JOEY: Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her?
Chandler: Ino! I didn't read the box before I opened it. And you can't return a box after you've opened the box.
Rachel: Oh, can we read them?
Monica: You read comic books right?
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
Monica: Okay, Im done. Read mine.
JOEY: See, this is why I don't date women who read. Uh-oh.
Erica: Yeah, I read some great applications, but then I thought “who better then a minister to raise a child!”
Phoebe: Thats nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Chandler: I didnt know you read tea leaves.
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Joey: (entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Joey: Thats help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Julio: Flowers of Evil, by Beaudalire. Have you read it?
Chandler: I believe I read that somewhere!
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Monica: Yeah, well I dont think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch.
(Monica and Rachel begin to read from the script.)
Charlie: Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic!
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Ross: Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Putting his hand up to block his mouth.) Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I-I came to the city for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, lets talk more about you. Hmm.
Ursula: Well, its pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Chandler: David, I'm pretending to read here!!
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Chandler: There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim...
Ursula: No, I umm, I read about her in Moms suicide note.
Joey: You know, the baby can't read, Mike!
PHOEBE: Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this?
Monica: With a wok? (Chandlers holding a wok.) I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep.
Joey: Ow, I'm just going over the script now! You wanna read lines with me?
Monica: No. He teaches a course on food criticism at the New School, so before we go to the movies I wanna go by there and make him try my bouillabaisse again. Oh, I cannot wait to read the front page of the Post tomorrow! "Restaurant reviewer admits: I was wrong about Monica."
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Rachel: Well, umm, I guess I read Little Women more than once. But I mean thats a classic, whats so great about The Shining?
Ross: Well, I tried! But when I got to my lawyers office all I could hear was, "Three divorces. Three divorces!" Look, I just dont want my tombstone to read, Ross Gellar, Three Divorces.
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
(Ross bangs his fists together to tell Chandler off, like what was learned last season. Read about it here.)
Rachel: Well, I've brought some books. We could read.
Rachel: Yeah, there was. It wasthere the corner of the library where-where all these dusty books that nobody ever readYes, there was.