words in movies
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'
[Scene: The Gellers' house. Monica, Ross, and Richard are arriving to Mr. Gellers birthday party.]
RICHARD: Happy birthday.
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
RICHARD: I am not telling you guys anything.
RICHARD: Jack, would you let it go?
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
RICHARD: How ya doin'?
RICHARD: Really? I'm a hero.
RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.
RICHARD: My parents are dead.
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica and Richard are alone in the kitchen.]
RICHARD: What?
RICHARD: Humm, really?
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
RICHARD: Uhh, not that I know of.
RICHARD: That - that's an idea.
RICHARD: Oh?
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
RICHARD: It is Judy.
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.
RICHARD: Really?
MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
RICHARD: No, it's been a long time since your dad and I went running.
RICHARD: Very tasteful.
RICHARD: What're we looking at? That blue freckle?
Richard: Actually, Im not here to complement the chef.
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
Chip: Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman.
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...
Richard: You were gonna propose? (Sits on the arm of the couch.)
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Richard: Ill just throw them out.
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!!
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
Richard: Absolutely, this will just be something we do, like racquetball.
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
Monica: Oh my God. Richard? (turns around) Hi!
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
Richard: That can be arranged.
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
RICHARD: Oh honey, I'm fine.
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
[Richard enters]
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
Richard: Oh, hey look nothing happened.
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
RICHARD: Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
RICHARD: Right, and...
RICHARD: Right.
RICHARD: Monica.
RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college.
RICHARD: Two.
RICHARD: Hey.
RICHARD: No.
RICHARD: Shall we?
RICHARD: Ok, just one more point.
RICHARD: Well.
RICHARD: Is everything all right?
RICHARD: Uh-oh.
RICHARD: No. You have got it completely wrong. John Savage was deerhunter, no legs, John Voit was coming home, couldn't feel his legs.
Richard: Youve got panties stuck to your leg.
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.
RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad?
RICHARD: Ohh, brisk tonight.
RICHARD: Uh-huh, yeah.
RICHARD: Oh, alright.
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
RICHARD: Oh, well that's not so crazy.
RICHARD: What're you doing?
RICHARD: Uh, it's the college playoffs.