words in movies
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Richard: That can be arranged.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
RICHARD: Oh honey, I'm fine.
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
[Richard enters]
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
Richard: Oh, hey look nothing happened.
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
RICHARD: Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet.
RICHARD: Happy birthday.
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
RICHARD: Jack, would you let it go?
RICHARD: How ya doin'?
RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.
RICHARD: Oh?
RICHARD: Really?
RICHARD: What?
RICHARD: Two.
RICHARD: Monica.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
RICHARD: Right, and...
RICHARD: Right.
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
RICHARD: No.
RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college.
RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad?
RICHARD: Shall we?
RICHARD: Hey.
RICHARD: Ok, just one more point.
RICHARD: No. You have got it completely wrong. John Savage was deerhunter, no legs, John Voit was coming home, couldn't feel his legs.
RICHARD: Uh-huh, yeah.
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
RICHARD: Is everything all right?
RICHARD: Uh-oh.
RICHARD: Well.
RICHARD: Ohh, brisk tonight.
Richard: Youve got panties stuck to your leg.
RICHARD: Oh, well that's not so crazy.
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
RICHARD: What're you doing?
RICHARD: Oh, alright.
RICHARD: Thank you.
RICHARD: You're strict.
RICHARD: Look I want you, now.
RICHARD: Monica, wake up. Monica.
RICHARD: I thought of a thing.
RICHARD: I love you, too.
RICHARD: Come on.
RICHARD: No that's not true. That is not true.
RICHARD: Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.
RICHARD: Yeah.
RICHARD: Uh, it's the college playoffs.
RICHARD: Well, uh, sometimes I think about selling my practice, we could move to France, make French toast.
RICHARD: Okay.
RICHARD: Honey, you are in it.
RICHARD: Sure I do.
RICHARD: Oh, yeah!
RICHARD: Okay, I'll do it.
RICHARD: Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too?
RICHARD: Let's never speak of this.
RICHARD: But you're not.
RICHARD: If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard and Monica are in bed.]
MONICA: It's Richard Burke.
Monica: I need to get some Richard.
RICHARD: Oh, that's why you never see pigeons at sushi bars.(they both start laughing at Richard's poor joke) See, we're having fun.
Richard:
Richard:
Richard:
RICHARD: You're pretty much running that risk either way.
Monica: Wow! Your lip went bald. (Richard pays the clerk) Hey, thanks.
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'