words in movies
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
MONICA: I've got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys.
RICHARD: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.
Richards Date: Hi, Im Lisa.
Richard: Oh. Good to see you guys.
Monica: (to Richard) Its good to see you
Chandler: Richard!
[Scene: later, Richard and Monica are dancing]
Richard: Hi!
Monica: Richard!
Richard: Why?
Richard: You are?
Monica: Yeah! Richard!
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
Richard: Hi.
Richard: (standing up quickly) Drink?
Richard: Who is it?
Richard: Ahh.
Richard: Oh really?
(Richard mouths, "Wow!")
Richard: Excuse me?
Richard: Oh. (Laughs.) Whew!
Richard: I think thats fair.
Richard: I know. (Backs away.)
Richard: Well she said she had to think things over.
Richard: Chandler.
Richard: Okay, she was here, but she left.
Richard: Well Im sorry.
Richard: Well all right, one thing happened?
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
RICHARD: Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot.
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
Richard: Working with blind kids.
RICHARD: A moustache comb.
Richard: Well, my nose got lonely.
RICHARD: Phoebe's got another job, right?
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.
Rachel: Richard? I'm not gonna go see your ex-boyfriend!
Monica: Oh God, maybe he wont see us. Richard!
Chandler: Richard used to do it, didn't he?
Richard: You too, you let uh, your hair grow long.
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
RICHARD: I guess we just keep dancing.
Richard: Uh, no! No! Thats art! If it bothers you I can put my art out.
Richard: That might be fun. (Richard and Lisa sit down.)
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
Monica: (very excited) Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard!
Monica: And y'know what, I just realised, in the last year Ive only gone out with two guys, Richard and Julio. You gotta help me out here, you gotta set me up, you gotta get me back in the game.
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
RICHARD: You're gonna do what to my clocks.
Richard: All right.
Richard: No I didnt.
Richard: Nice to meet you Joey.
Richard: Yeah, sure.
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: I think I lost. Three times.
RICHARD: Glad to be of help. Matches. [walks out to the balcony]
Richard: Great!
Richard: Oh, thanks.
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: Well of course I am!
Richard: No!
Richard: Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!
Richard: You wouldnt happen to have a very big fork?
Richard: As were you.
Richard: Well have we finished the scene?
Richard: Why? Are we done for the day?
Richard: It was great seeing you the other night.
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
RICHARD: If I have to I'll, I'll do all again , I'll do the 4 o'clock feeding thing, I'll go to the P.T.A. meetings, I'll coach the soccer team.
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Chandler: If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?
Richard: (still spitting) The platoon is dead! Face facts Tony!
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Joey: I dont know. Ooh, I bet its Richard.
(Joey and Richard both wipe their faces and are given towels.)
(Richard squishes a little too hard and some lands on his shirt.)
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! (She frantically tries to clean up the bedroom as Richard starts the tour.)
(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica and Richard are alone in the kitchen.]
Richard: No! I came here to tell you something else. (Pause) I came here (Pause) to tell you I still love you.
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
[Scene: The Gellers' house. Monica, Ross, and Richard are arriving to Mr. Gellers birthday party.]
Richard: on the rocks with a twist? I remember. (Goes to make her drink.)
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica enters her bedroom with a roll of duct tape. Richard is sitting on the bed.]
Richard: Oh shoot! Maybe next time. (yawns) Thanks for a lovely evening. (shows her out)
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
MONICA: Hey, have you guys eaten, because uh, Richard and I just finished and we've got leftovers... Chicken and potatoes... What am I wearing?...Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Richard and Joey are doing a scene.]
Richard: (To Joey) Are you a little off today? Its going terribly slowly.
RICHARD: Now I do. [they kiss and fall to the bed]
Chandler: Richard was there so I couldnt do it!
RICHARD: Woah, woah, no wait a minute now. C'mon it's your turn. Oh c'mon. Ya know, I don't need the actual number, just a ballpark.
Richard: Just the last two pages.