words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
RICHARD: Phoebe's got another job, right?
RICHARD: Um, we should go too, I got patients at 8 in the moring.
RICHARD: I don't know, I don't have my jammies.
RICHARD: Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet.
RICHARD: Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]
RICHARD: Night Richard. Good luck Mon.
RICHARD: Two.
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
RICHARD: Woah, woah, no wait a minute now. C'mon it's your turn. Oh c'mon. Ya know, I don't need the actual number, just a ballpark.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in Monica's bedroom.]
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.
RICHARD: Oh honey, I'm fine.
RICHARD: What? Alright, what about my two?
RICHARD: Right, and...
RICHARD: Honey, you are not an oat. I, I mean I don't know, I, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. I've only slept with women I've been in love with.
RICHARD: Right.
RICHARD: Now I do. [they kiss and fall to the bed]
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
RICHARD: Monica.
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
RICHARD: Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting.
RICHARD: No.
RICHARD: I have a little comb.
RICHARD: A moustache comb.
RICHARD: No. You have got it completely wrong. John Savage was deerhunter, no legs, John Voit was coming home, couldn't feel his legs.
RICHARD: Shall we?
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
[Ross comes out of Rachel's bedroom in her bathrobe and heads for the bathroom. On his way back, Richard comes out of Monica's bedroom in her bathrobe.]
RICHARD: Hey.
RICHARD: Ohh, brisk tonight.
RICHARD: Let's never speak of this.
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Richard: Ill just throw them out.
Richard: You were gonna propose? (Sits on the arm of the couch.)
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!!
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Richard: Absolutely, this will just be something we do, like racquetball.
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
Monica: Oh my God. Richard? (turns around) Hi!
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
Richard: That can be arranged.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
[Richard enters]
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
Richard: Oh, hey look nothing happened.
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
RICHARD: Happy birthday.
RICHARD: How ya doin'?
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
RICHARD: Jack, would you let it go?
RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.
RICHARD: Really?
RICHARD: What?
RICHARD: Oh?
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
RICHARD: Ok, just one more point.
RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
RICHARD: Is everything all right?
RICHARD: Uh-oh.
RICHARD: Well.
RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad?
RICHARD: Oh, alright.
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
RICHARD: Oh, well that's not so crazy.
RICHARD: What're you doing?
RICHARD: Uh-huh, yeah.
Richard: Youve got panties stuck to your leg.
RICHARD: Come on.
RICHARD: Thank you.
RICHARD: You're strict.
RICHARD: No that's not true. That is not true.
RICHARD: Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.
RICHARD: Yeah.