words in movies
Monica: And y'know what, I just realised, in the last year Ive only gone out with two guys, Richard and Julio. You gotta help me out here, you gotta set me up, you gotta get me back in the game.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
Richard: Yeah hes no good. Do you ever (pause) think about me in a (pause) non-eye doctor way?
Richard: Oh, (laughs) that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today.
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Richard: So Monica let me ask you a question. Yknow, since we broke up do you ever, think about me?
Chandler: Why would Monica be keeping Richard in here?
Phoebe: Monica had lunch with Richard.
RICHARD: Okay, last chance. (Monica throws the candy and hits some woman in the back of the head, Richard turns around and says) Again, I'm sorry.
Monica: Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye.
Monica: Noo! My ex-boyfriend Richard! Y'know the tall guy, moustache?
RICHARD: What're we looking at? That blue freckle?
Richard: Well, apparently Im willing to offer her things that you are not.
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
[Scene: Richards bedroom, Monica has covered it in rose pedals and candles. We hear Richard come in to the apartment, and Monica frantically throws the rest of the pedals on the bed, and jumps onto the bed and puts a rose in her mouth, and bites a thorn.]
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
Phoebe: That is so weird! I had a dream that you'd have lunch with Richard.
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi! Yeah, Im calling on behalf of Monica Gellers eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. (Listens) (to Monica) Hes out of town, but does she want to see the on-call doctor?
RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.
Richard: Okay thats fine, Ill walk away. And Ill never bother you again, but only if you tell me Chandlers willing to give you everything I am.
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok?
RICHARD: What're you talkin' about, I was killin' 'em.
Richard: Shes not here and please come in.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Richard: Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!
Matire'd: (to Richard) Youre tables ready sir.
Richard: No its not too soon, I had lunch at a eleven.
Phoebe: All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out!
Rachel: Because its Richards son! Its like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
RICHARD: My parents are dead.
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
Monica: I'm fine, just a little tired, I'm okay. How's Richard doing?
RICHARD: Are you remaking the bed?
RICHARD: No, it's been a long time since your dad and I went running.
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Richard: Oh. Look, just friends, I wont grope you. I promise.
Richard: Actually, Im not here to complement the chef.
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
Chip: Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Richard: Ill just throw them out.
Richard: You were gonna propose? (Sits on the arm of the couch.)
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!!
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Richard: Absolutely, this will just be something we do, like racquetball.
RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
Monica: Oh my God. Richard? (turns around) Hi!
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
Richard: That can be arranged.
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.