words in movies
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
PHOEBE: Oh yes, no, Richard would never steal your wind.
Richard: (standing behind her, without his moustache) I can help with that.
Richard: You mean like exclusive friends?
Richard: Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! (He is spitting on the hard Ps and Ts.)
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, shes in bed with Richard.]
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
Richard: Ew, this feels very weird.
Richard: So, you wanna get a hamburger or something?
RICHARD: I am not telling you guys anything.
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
RICHARD: No come on. Come on tell me.
MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Richard and Monica are playing with Ben.]
Monica: Yeah well, I ran into Richard.
RICHARD: Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen.
Richard: Well, it was great seeing you the other night.
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
RICHARD: Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting.
Richards Date: Oh, thats real pretty. Wait a minute, dont I get to see the bedroom?
RICHARD: Like a hound?
Richard: So when people complement me on my cooking should I, what do I say?
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
[Ross comes out of Rachel's bedroom in her bathrobe and heads for the bathroom. On his way back, Richard comes out of Monica's bedroom in her bathrobe.]
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
RICHARD: Ok. Ahh. One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks from my dress socks.
MONICA: I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? What?
Monica: It's not Richard! Okay? It's this new guy and he's really good.
RICHARD: God. I love you.
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in Monica's bedroom.]
(Monica stares longingly at the door, after Richard leaves)
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
Richard: Well if it helps, it worked very well.
RICHARD: Neither am I.
Richard: Just your dad. (pause) Although thats actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sisters neighbour next Tuesday.
RICHARD: Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?'
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
RICHARD: Honey, you are not an oat. I, I mean I don't know, I, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. I've only slept with women I've been in love with.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Richard: Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (Hes holding a script.)
RICHARD: Um, we should go too, I got patients at 8 in the moring.
RICHARD: What? Alright, what about my two?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in her bedroom.]
RICHARD: If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.
Richard: The bedroom. Well its pretty much your typical... (opens the door as Monica hides under the covers, and quickly closes the door before his date can see the room.) bedroom.
Chandler: Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play!
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
Monica: Oh my God, Richard. (Yep, Richards back.)
RICHARD: Humm, really?
Chandler: Oh, Richard. That's all I ever hear, Richard, Richard, Richard!
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Phoebe: Which Richard?
Monica: The Richard.
RICHARD: Uhh, not that I know of.
Chandler: Yeah, well, she's probably talking to Richard.
Richard: No I dont have a ring! (Pause) You go get her Chandler. (Pause) And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, dont let her go. Trust me.
RICHARD: Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grown ups to cut it out.
Chandler: Okay, so Richard, Richard!
Chandler: What Richard thing?
Chandler: What-what Richard thing?
[Scene: Barry and Mindy's wedding, Monica and Richard are standing in the lobby]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
Richard: Its okay! Shh! Hey. Hey. (Hugs her) Shhhh.
RICHARD: That - that's an idea.
Richard: Well I know I was an idiot! And I tried to forget you, I really did! Yknow after we had lunch last year I spent six months in Africa trying to get you out of my head!
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
MONICA: I've got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys.
RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.
Ross: Alright. There's a theory, put forth by Richard Leakey-
Richard: I know. (Pause) I hate that!
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
Richards Date: Hi, Im Lisa.
RICHARD: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.
Richard: Oh. Good to see you guys.
Monica: (to Richard) Its good to see you
Chandler: Richard!
Monica: Yeah! Richard!
Richard: Hi!
Monica: Richard!
[Scene: later, Richard and Monica are dancing]
Richard: Why?
Richard: You are?
Richard: Who is it?
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
Richard: Ahh.
Richard: Hi.
Richard: Oh really?
Richard: (standing up quickly) Drink?
Richard: I know. (Backs away.)
Richard: Excuse me?
Richard: Oh. (Laughs.) Whew!
(Richard mouths, "Wow!")
Richard: I think thats fair.
Richard: Well she said she had to think things over.
Richard: Chandler.
Richard: Okay, she was here, but she left.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]