words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
MONICA: Hey, have you guys eaten, because uh, Richard and I just finished and we've got leftovers... Chicken and potatoes... What am I wearing?...Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
RICHARD: Glad to be of help. Matches. [walks out to the balcony]
MONICA: I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? What?
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
[Richard enters]
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
RICHARD: Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?'
RICHARD: Uh, it's the college playoffs.
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
MONICA: I've got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college.
RICHARD: Nice moustache by the way. When puberty hits that thing's really gonna kick in.
RICHARD: Ok, just one more point.
RICHARD: Is everything all right?
RICHARD: Uh-oh.
RICHARD: Well.
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad?
RICHARD: Uh-huh, yeah.
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok?
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
RICHARD: What're you talkin' about, I was killin' 'em.
Richard: Its okay! Shh! Hey. Hey. (Hugs her) Shhhh.
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
Richard: Well I know I was an idiot! And I tried to forget you, I really did! Yknow after we had lunch last year I spent six months in Africa trying to get you out of my head!
RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.
Ross: Alright. There's a theory, put forth by Richard Leakey-
Richard: I know. (Pause) I hate that!
Chandler: Richard!
Richards Date: Hi, Im Lisa.
Richard: Oh. Good to see you guys.
Monica: (to Richard) Its good to see you
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
RICHARD: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.
Richard: Who is it?
[Scene: later, Richard and Monica are dancing]
Richard: Why?
Richard: You are?
Monica: Yeah! Richard!
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
Richard: Hi!
Monica: Richard!
Richard: Hi.
Richard: (standing up quickly) Drink?
Richard: Ahh.
Richard: Oh really?
Richard: I think thats fair.
(Richard mouths, "Wow!")
Richard: Excuse me?
Richard: Oh. (Laughs.) Whew!
Richard: Well all right, one thing happened?
Richard: I know. (Backs away.)
Richard: Well she said she had to think things over.
Richard: Chandler.
Richard: Okay, she was here, but she left.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Richard: Well Im sorry.
RICHARD: Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot.
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.
Richard: Working with blind kids.
Rachel: Richard? I'm not gonna go see your ex-boyfriend!
Monica: Oh God, maybe he wont see us. Richard!
RICHARD: Phoebe's got another job, right?
Chandler: Richard used to do it, didn't he?
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
Richard: Well, my nose got lonely.
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
RICHARD: A moustache comb.
RICHARD: I guess we just keep dancing.
Richard: Uh, no! No! Thats art! If it bothers you I can put my art out.
Monica: (very excited) Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard!
Richard: That might be fun. (Richard and Lisa sit down.)
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
Monica: And y'know what, I just realised, in the last year Ive only gone out with two guys, Richard and Julio. You gotta help me out here, you gotta set me up, you gotta get me back in the game.
Richard: You too, you let uh, your hair grow long.
RICHARD: You're gonna do what to my clocks.
Richard: I think I lost. Three times.
Richard: No I didnt.
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: Nice to meet you Joey.
Richard: Yeah, sure.
Richard: Great!
Richard: Oh, thanks.
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: Well of course I am!
Richard: You wouldnt happen to have a very big fork?
Richard: All right.
Richard: No!
Richard: Well have we finished the scene?
Richard: Why? Are we done for the day?
Richard: As were you.
Richard: It was great seeing you the other night.
Richard: Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
Richard: (still spitting) The platoon is dead! Face facts Tony!
Chandler: If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?
RICHARD: If I have to I'll, I'll do all again , I'll do the 4 o'clock feeding thing, I'll go to the P.T.A. meetings, I'll coach the soccer team.
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
(Joey and Richard both wipe their faces and are given towels.)
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Joey: I dont know. Ooh, I bet its Richard.
(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)
(Richard squishes a little too hard and some lands on his shirt.)
Richard: No! I came here to tell you something else. (Pause) I came here (Pause) to tell you I still love you.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! (She frantically tries to clean up the bedroom as Richard starts the tour.)
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica and Richard are alone in the kitchen.]
[Scene: The Gellers' house. Monica, Ross, and Richard are arriving to Mr. Gellers birthday party.]
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica enters her bedroom with a roll of duct tape. Richard is sitting on the bed.]
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
Richard: Oh shoot! Maybe next time. (yawns) Thanks for a lovely evening. (shows her out)
Richard: on the rocks with a twist? I remember. (Goes to make her drink.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Richard and Joey are doing a scene.]
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
RICHARD: Now I do. [they kiss and fall to the bed]
Monica: Yeah, I do think its better this way. (listens) Yeah, were being smart. (gets up to answer the door) (listens) Yes, Im sure.(she opens the door and its Richard)
Richard: (To Joey) Are you a little off today? Its going terribly slowly.