words in movies
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Richard: Nice to meet you Joey.
Richard: No I didnt.
Richard: I think I lost. Three times.
Richard: Yeah, sure.
Richard: Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! (He is spitting on the hard Ps and Ts.)
Richard: (still spitting) The platoon is dead! Face facts Tony!
Richard: No, we still have food in the basement! I saw potatoes and some dry pasta!
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
Richard: Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (Hes holding a script.)
Richard: Just the last two pages.
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: Could you uh, could you lower your script? I need to see your face so I can uh, play off your reaction.
Richard: Oh, thanks.
Richard: Well of course I am!
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Richard: Great!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Richard and Joey are doing a scene.]
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
Richard: Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!
(Joey and Richard both wipe their faces and are given towels.)
Richard: Oh youre awesome! And, in that last speech? You soaked me.
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
Richard: No!
Richard: All right.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Richard: That can be arranged.
(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)
Richard: (To Joey) Are you a little off today? Its going terribly slowly.
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Richard: Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
Richard: You wouldnt happen to have a very big fork?
Richard: Well have we finished the scene?
Richard: As were you.
Richard: Why? Are we done for the day?
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Richard: Ill just throw them out.
Richard: You were gonna propose? (Sits on the arm of the couch.)
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!!
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Richard: Absolutely, this will just be something we do, like racquetball.
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
Monica: Oh my God. Richard? (turns around) Hi!
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
RICHARD: Oh honey, I'm fine.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
[Richard enters]
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
Richard: Oh, hey look nothing happened.
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
RICHARD: What?
RICHARD: How ya doin'?
RICHARD: Happy birthday.
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
RICHARD: Jack, would you let it go?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.
RICHARD: Oh?
RICHARD: Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet.
RICHARD: Really?
RICHARD: Two.
RICHARD: Right, and...
RICHARD: Right.
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
RICHARD: No.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
RICHARD: Uh-oh.
RICHARD: Shall we?
RICHARD: Hey.
RICHARD: Ok, just one more point.
RICHARD: Monica.
RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college.
RICHARD: Is everything all right?
RICHARD: No. You have got it completely wrong. John Savage was deerhunter, no legs, John Voit was coming home, couldn't feel his legs.
RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad?
RICHARD: Well.
RICHARD: Ohh, brisk tonight.
RICHARD: Oh, well that's not so crazy.
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
RICHARD: Uh-huh, yeah.
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.
Richard: Youve got panties stuck to your leg.
RICHARD: What're you doing?