words in movies
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Richard: Nice to meet you Joey.
Richard: No I didnt.
Richard: I think I lost. Three times.
Richard: Yeah, sure.
Richard: Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! (He is spitting on the hard Ps and Ts.)
Richard: (still spitting) The platoon is dead! Face facts Tony!
Richard: No, we still have food in the basement! I saw potatoes and some dry pasta!
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
Richard: Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (Hes holding a script.)
Richard: Just the last two pages.
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: Could you uh, could you lower your script? I need to see your face so I can uh, play off your reaction.
Richard: Oh, thanks.
Richard: Well of course I am!
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Richard: Great!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Richard and Joey are doing a scene.]
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
Richard: Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!
(Joey and Richard both wipe their faces and are given towels.)
Richard: Oh youre awesome! And, in that last speech? You soaked me.
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
Richard: No!
Richard: All right.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Richard: That can be arranged.
(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)
Richard: (To Joey) Are you a little off today? Its going terribly slowly.
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Richard: Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
Richard: You wouldnt happen to have a very big fork?
Richard: Well have we finished the scene?
Richard: As were you.
Richard: Why? Are we done for the day?
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
Richard: Hi!
Richard: No you do. You... just...
Richard: So, you look great.
Richard: Its good to see you.
Richard: I missed this.
RICHARD: I have a little comb.
RICHARD: I don't know, I don't have my jammies.
Richard: What?
Richard: Yeah.
Richard: Op.
Richard: Okay.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
Richard: You really sure?
Richard: Okay.
Richard: Exactly. (pushes her back)
Richard: You want me to cancel it?
Richard: Tomatoes are squishing.
Richard: Hello.
Richard: All right. This is the kitchen.
Richards Date: Impressive.
Richard: Ah well, this is the living room.
Richard: Um-hmm.
Richard: Well, you seem fine.
Richard: (lying down) Ow!!
Richard: I know I couldnt. So....
Richards Date: Were still on this side of the door.
Richard: (standing behind her, without his moustache) I can help with that.
Richard: You mean like exclusive friends?
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, shes in bed with Richard.]
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
Richard: Ew, this feels very weird.
Richard: So, you wanna get a hamburger or something?
RICHARD: I am not telling you guys anything.
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
RICHARD: No come on. Come on tell me.
MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Richard and Monica are playing with Ben.]
Monica: Yeah well, I ran into Richard.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
RICHARD: Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen.
Richard: Well, it was great seeing you the other night.
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
MONICA: I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? What?
Richards Date: Oh, thats real pretty. Wait a minute, dont I get to see the bedroom?
RICHARD: Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting.
RICHARD: Like a hound?
Richard: So when people complement me on my cooking should I, what do I say?
[Ross comes out of Rachel's bedroom in her bathrobe and heads for the bathroom. On his way back, Richard comes out of Monica's bedroom in her bathrobe.]
RICHARD: Ok. Ahh. One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks from my dress socks.
Monica: It's not Richard! Okay? It's this new guy and he's really good.
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
PHOEBE: Oh yes, no, Richard would never steal your wind.
RICHARD: God. I love you.
RICHARD: Neither am I.
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
(Monica stares longingly at the door, after Richard leaves)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in Monica's bedroom.]
Richard: Just your dad. (pause) Although thats actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sisters neighbour next Tuesday.
Richard: Well if it helps, it worked very well.
RICHARD: Honey, you are not an oat. I, I mean I don't know, I, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. I've only slept with women I've been in love with.
RICHARD: Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?'
RICHARD: Um, we should go too, I got patients at 8 in the moring.
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
RICHARD: What? Alright, what about my two?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
Richard: The bedroom. Well its pretty much your typical... (opens the door as Monica hides under the covers, and quickly closes the door before his date can see the room.) bedroom.
RICHARD: If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in her bedroom.]
Chandler: Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play!
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
Chandler: Okay, so Richard, Richard!
Chandler: Oh, Richard. That's all I ever hear, Richard, Richard, Richard!
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Chandler: Yeah, well, she's probably talking to Richard.
Richard: No I dont have a ring! (Pause) You go get her Chandler. (Pause) And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, dont let her go. Trust me.
RICHARD: Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grown ups to cut it out.
Monica: Oh my God, Richard. (Yep, Richards back.)
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
Phoebe: Which Richard?
Monica: The Richard.
Chandler: What Richard thing?
Chandler: What-what Richard thing?
RICHARD: Uhh, not that I know of.
[Scene: Barry and Mindy's wedding, Monica and Richard are standing in the lobby]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]
RICHARD: Humm, really?
Chandler: Richard!
RICHARD: That - that's an idea.
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
Richard: Well I know I was an idiot! And I tried to forget you, I really did! Yknow after we had lunch last year I spent six months in Africa trying to get you out of my head!
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
MONICA: I've got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys.
Richards Date: Hi, Im Lisa.
Richard: Oh. Good to see you guys.
Monica: (to Richard) Its good to see you
Richard: Its okay! Shh! Hey. Hey. (Hugs her) Shhhh.
RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.
Ross: Alright. There's a theory, put forth by Richard Leakey-