words in movies
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Richard: Nice to meet you Joey.
Richard: No I didnt.
Richard: I think I lost. Three times.
Richard: Yeah, sure.
Richard: Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! (He is spitting on the hard Ps and Ts.)
Richard: (still spitting) The platoon is dead! Face facts Tony!
Richard: No, we still have food in the basement! I saw potatoes and some dry pasta!
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
Richard: Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (Hes holding a script.)
Richard: Just the last two pages.
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: Could you uh, could you lower your script? I need to see your face so I can uh, play off your reaction.
Richard: Oh, thanks.
Richard: Well of course I am!
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Richard: Great!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Richard and Joey are doing a scene.]
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
Richard: Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!
(Joey and Richard both wipe their faces and are given towels.)
Richard: Oh youre awesome! And, in that last speech? You soaked me.
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
Richard: No!
Richard: All right.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Richard: That can be arranged.
(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)
Richard: (To Joey) Are you a little off today? Its going terribly slowly.
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Richard: Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
Richard: You wouldnt happen to have a very big fork?
Richard: Well have we finished the scene?
Richard: As were you.
Richard: Why? Are we done for the day?
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
Richard: Well I know I was an idiot! And I tried to forget you, I really did! Yknow after we had lunch last year I spent six months in Africa trying to get you out of my head!
RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.
Ross: Alright. There's a theory, put forth by Richard Leakey-
Richard: I know. (Pause) I hate that!
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
MONICA: I've got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys.
RICHARD: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.
Richards Date: Hi, Im Lisa.
Richard: Oh. Good to see you guys.
Monica: (to Richard) Its good to see you
Chandler: Richard!
[Scene: later, Richard and Monica are dancing]
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
Richard: Why?
Richard: You are?
Richard: Hi!
Monica: Richard!
Monica: Yeah! Richard!
Richard: Hi.
Richard: (standing up quickly) Drink?
(Richard mouths, "Wow!")
Richard: Who is it?
Richard: Ahh.
Richard: Oh really?
Richard: I know. (Backs away.)
Richard: I think thats fair.
Richard: Well all right, one thing happened?
Richard: Well she said she had to think things over.
Richard: Chandler.
Richard: Okay, she was here, but she left.
Richard: Excuse me?
Richard: Oh. (Laughs.) Whew!
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Richard: Well Im sorry.
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
RICHARD: Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot.
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
Rachel: Richard? I'm not gonna go see your ex-boyfriend!
Richard: Working with blind kids.
Richard: Well, my nose got lonely.
Monica: Oh God, maybe he wont see us. Richard!
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.
RICHARD: Phoebe's got another job, right?
Chandler: Richard used to do it, didn't he?
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
RICHARD: A moustache comb.
RICHARD: I guess we just keep dancing.
Richard: That might be fun. (Richard and Lisa sit down.)
Richard: Uh, no! No! Thats art! If it bothers you I can put my art out.
Monica: And y'know what, I just realised, in the last year Ive only gone out with two guys, Richard and Julio. You gotta help me out here, you gotta set me up, you gotta get me back in the game.
Monica: (very excited) Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard!
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
Richard: You too, you let uh, your hair grow long.
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
RICHARD: You're gonna do what to my clocks.
RICHARD: If I have to I'll, I'll do all again , I'll do the 4 o'clock feeding thing, I'll go to the P.T.A. meetings, I'll coach the soccer team.
RICHARD: Glad to be of help. Matches. [walks out to the balcony]
Richard: It was great seeing you the other night.
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Chandler: If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Joey: I dont know. Ooh, I bet its Richard.
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
(Richard squishes a little too hard and some lands on his shirt.)
Richard: No! I came here to tell you something else. (Pause) I came here (Pause) to tell you I still love you.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! (She frantically tries to clean up the bedroom as Richard starts the tour.)
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica and Richard are alone in the kitchen.]
[Scene: The Gellers' house. Monica, Ross, and Richard are arriving to Mr. Gellers birthday party.]
MONICA: Hey, have you guys eaten, because uh, Richard and I just finished and we've got leftovers... Chicken and potatoes... What am I wearing?...Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.
Richard: Oh shoot! Maybe next time. (yawns) Thanks for a lovely evening. (shows her out)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica enters her bedroom with a roll of duct tape. Richard is sitting on the bed.]
Richard: on the rocks with a twist? I remember. (Goes to make her drink.)
Chandler: Richard was there so I couldnt do it!
RICHARD: Now I do. [they kiss and fall to the bed]
RICHARD: Woah, woah, no wait a minute now. C'mon it's your turn. Oh c'mon. Ya know, I don't need the actual number, just a ballpark.
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
Chandler: Why would she use them with Richard and not me? I can be kinky! I once did a naked dance for her... with scarves!
Monica: Yeah, I do think its better this way. (listens) Yeah, were being smart. (gets up to answer the door) (listens) Yes, Im sure.(she opens the door and its Richard)
Richard: Yeah! Youre saying, you need to be with someone more mature. Maybe someone with, a license to practice medicine. Or a mustache.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Richard are there]
[Scene: Richards Apartment, hes smoking a cigar and reading a book as there is a knock on the door. He gets up and opens the door to reveal ]
Richard: Its so great seeing you guys again. Id like to make a toast. (Everyone raises their glasses) Uh, as a poet once said, "In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures for in the due of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."
Joey: Mhm, maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard!
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
Richard: Noo! I came down here to tell you something else. I came here to tell you I still love you.
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
RICHARD: Oh, yeah, I don't like you this way. All right, I'll see you guys later.
Chandler: What?! Im Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, thats Richard!
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
Richard: (outside the bedroom) Really?! Well, its just like everyone elses apartment. Its got rooms, walls, and ceilings.
Phoebe: Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time!
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
Ross: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richards son, youd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.