words in movies
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Richard: Nice to meet you Joey.
Richard: No I didnt.
Richard: I think I lost. Three times.
Richard: Yeah, sure.
Richard: Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! (He is spitting on the hard Ps and Ts.)
Richard: (still spitting) The platoon is dead! Face facts Tony!
Richard: No, we still have food in the basement! I saw potatoes and some dry pasta!
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
Richard: Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (Hes holding a script.)
Richard: Just the last two pages.
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: Could you uh, could you lower your script? I need to see your face so I can uh, play off your reaction.
Richard: Oh, thanks.
Richard: Well of course I am!
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Richard: Great!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Richard and Joey are doing a scene.]
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
Richard: Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!
(Joey and Richard both wipe their faces and are given towels.)
Richard: Oh youre awesome! And, in that last speech? You soaked me.
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
Richard: No!
Richard: All right.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Richard: That can be arranged.
(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)
Richard: (To Joey) Are you a little off today? Its going terribly slowly.
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Richard: Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
Richard: You wouldnt happen to have a very big fork?
Richard: Well have we finished the scene?
Richard: As were you.
Richard: Why? Are we done for the day?
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok?
Matire'd: (to Richard) Youre tables ready sir.
Richard: No its not too soon, I had lunch at a eleven.
Phoebe: All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out!
RICHARD: My parents are dead.
Rachel: Because its Richards son! Its like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner!
Monica: I'm fine, just a little tired, I'm okay. How's Richard doing?
RICHARD: Are you remaking the bed?
RICHARD: No, it's been a long time since your dad and I went running.
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
Richard: Oh. Look, just friends, I wont grope you. I promise.
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Richard: Actually, Im not here to complement the chef.
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
Chip: Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman.
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...
Richard: You were gonna propose? (Sits on the arm of the couch.)
Richard: Ill just throw them out.
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!!
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Richard: Absolutely, this will just be something we do, like racquetball.
RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
Monica: Oh my God. Richard? (turns around) Hi!
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
[Richard enters]
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
RICHARD: Oh honey, I'm fine.
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
Richard: Oh, hey look nothing happened.
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
RICHARD: Happy birthday.
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
RICHARD: What?
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
RICHARD: Jack, would you let it go?
RICHARD: How ya doin'?
RICHARD: Really?
RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.
RICHARD: Oh?
RICHARD: Two.
RICHARD: Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet.
RICHARD: Right, and...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
RICHARD: Right.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
RICHARD: Monica.
RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college.