words in movies
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Richard: Nice to meet you Joey.
Richard: No I didnt.
Richard: I think I lost. Three times.
Richard: Yeah, sure.
Richard: Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! (He is spitting on the hard Ps and Ts.)
Richard: (still spitting) The platoon is dead! Face facts Tony!
Richard: No, we still have food in the basement! I saw potatoes and some dry pasta!
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
Richard: Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (Hes holding a script.)
Richard: Just the last two pages.
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: Could you uh, could you lower your script? I need to see your face so I can uh, play off your reaction.
Richard: Oh, thanks.
Richard: Well of course I am!
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Richard: Great!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Richard and Joey are doing a scene.]
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
Richard: Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!
(Joey and Richard both wipe their faces and are given towels.)
Richard: Oh youre awesome! And, in that last speech? You soaked me.
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
Richard: No!
Richard: All right.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Richard: That can be arranged.
(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)
Richard: (To Joey) Are you a little off today? Its going terribly slowly.
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Richard: Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
Richard: You wouldnt happen to have a very big fork?
Richard: Well have we finished the scene?
Richard: As were you.
Richard: Why? Are we done for the day?
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
RICHARD: Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen.
Richard: Well, it was great seeing you the other night.
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
Richards Date: Oh, thats real pretty. Wait a minute, dont I get to see the bedroom?
RICHARD: Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting.
RICHARD: Like a hound?
Richard: So when people complement me on my cooking should I, what do I say?
[Ross comes out of Rachel's bedroom in her bathrobe and heads for the bathroom. On his way back, Richard comes out of Monica's bedroom in her bathrobe.]
MONICA: I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? What?
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
RICHARD: God. I love you.
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
PHOEBE: Oh yes, no, Richard would never steal your wind.
RICHARD: Ok. Ahh. One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks from my dress socks.
Monica: It's not Richard! Okay? It's this new guy and he's really good.
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
RICHARD: If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.
(Monica stares longingly at the door, after Richard leaves)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in Monica's bedroom.]
Richard: Just your dad. (pause) Although thats actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sisters neighbour next Tuesday.
RICHARD: Um, we should go too, I got patients at 8 in the moring.
RICHARD: Neither am I.
Richard: Well if it helps, it worked very well.
RICHARD: Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?'
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
RICHARD: What? Alright, what about my two?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
RICHARD: Honey, you are not an oat. I, I mean I don't know, I, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. I've only slept with women I've been in love with.
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
Chandler: Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play!
Richard: The bedroom. Well its pretty much your typical... (opens the door as Monica hides under the covers, and quickly closes the door before his date can see the room.) bedroom.
Monica: Oh my God, Richard. (Yep, Richards back.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in her bedroom.]
Chandler: Okay, so Richard, Richard!
Chandler: Oh, Richard. That's all I ever hear, Richard, Richard, Richard!
Chandler: What Richard thing?
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Phoebe: Which Richard?
Monica: The Richard.
Chandler: What-what Richard thing?
RICHARD: Humm, really?
RICHARD: Uhh, not that I know of.
Richard: No I dont have a ring! (Pause) You go get her Chandler. (Pause) And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, dont let her go. Trust me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]
Chandler: Yeah, well, she's probably talking to Richard.
[Scene: Barry and Mindy's wedding, Monica and Richard are standing in the lobby]
RICHARD: Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grown ups to cut it out.
Richard: I know. (Pause) I hate that!
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
Richard: Its okay! Shh! Hey. Hey. (Hugs her) Shhhh.
Richard: Well I know I was an idiot! And I tried to forget you, I really did! Yknow after we had lunch last year I spent six months in Africa trying to get you out of my head!
Ross: Alright. There's a theory, put forth by Richard Leakey-
RICHARD: That - that's an idea.
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.
RICHARD: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
MONICA: I've got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys.
[Scene: later, Richard and Monica are dancing]
Richard: Hi!
Monica: Richard!
Richards Date: Hi, Im Lisa.
Richard: Oh. Good to see you guys.
Monica: (to Richard) Its good to see you
Chandler: Richard!
Monica: Yeah! Richard!
Richard: Why?
Richard: You are?
Richard: Who is it?
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
(Richard mouths, "Wow!")
Richard: Hi.
Richard: (standing up quickly) Drink?
Richard: Ahh.
Richard: Excuse me?
Richard: Oh. (Laughs.) Whew!
Richard: Oh really?
Richard: Well she said she had to think things over.
Richard: I think thats fair.
Richard: I know. (Backs away.)
Richard: Well all right, one thing happened?
Richard: Chandler.
Richard: Okay, she was here, but she left.
Richard: Well Im sorry.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
RICHARD: Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot.
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
RICHARD: Phoebe's got another job, right?
Richard: Well, my nose got lonely.
Rachel: Richard? I'm not gonna go see your ex-boyfriend!
Monica: Oh God, maybe he wont see us. Richard!
Richard: Working with blind kids.
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
Chandler: Richard used to do it, didn't he?
RICHARD: I guess we just keep dancing.
Richard: Uh, no! No! Thats art! If it bothers you I can put my art out.