words in movies
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: Oh my God. Richard? (turns around) Hi!
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
Richard: That can be arranged.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
RICHARD: Oh honey, I'm fine.
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
[Richard enters]
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
Richard: Oh, hey look nothing happened.
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
RICHARD: Happy birthday.
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
RICHARD: How ya doin'?
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
RICHARD: Jack, would you let it go?
RICHARD: Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet.
RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.
RICHARD: Oh?
RICHARD: What?
RICHARD: Really?
RICHARD: Two.
RICHARD: Right, and...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
RICHARD: Monica.
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
RICHARD: No.
RICHARD: Right.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college.
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.
RICHARD: Shall we?
RICHARD: Hey.
RICHARD: Is everything all right?
RICHARD: Uh-oh.
RICHARD: No. You have got it completely wrong. John Savage was deerhunter, no legs, John Voit was coming home, couldn't feel his legs.
RICHARD: Ok, just one more point.
RICHARD: Well.
RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad?
RICHARD: Ohh, brisk tonight.
RICHARD: Uh-huh, yeah.
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Richard: Youve got panties stuck to your leg.
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
RICHARD: Oh, well that's not so crazy.
RICHARD: What're you doing?
RICHARD: Uh, it's the college playoffs.
RICHARD: Oh, alright.
RICHARD: Thank you.
RICHARD: You're strict.
RICHARD: Come on.
RICHARD: No that's not true. That is not true.
RICHARD: Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.
RICHARD: Yeah.
RICHARD: Monica, wake up. Monica.
RICHARD: I thought of a thing.
RICHARD: I love you, too.
RICHARD: Well, uh, sometimes I think about selling my practice, we could move to France, make French toast.
RICHARD: Look I want you, now.
RICHARD: Okay.
RICHARD: Honey, you are in it.
RICHARD: Sure I do.
RICHARD: Oh, yeah!
RICHARD: But you're not.
RICHARD: Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too?
RICHARD: Let's never speak of this.
RICHARD: Okay, I'll do it.
RICHARD: If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is.