words in movies
[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]
Ross: (mortified) Hi.
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...
Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.
Ross: Thanks.
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Ross: Sorry.
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
(Ross gestures his consent.)
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?
Ross: He finally asked you out?
Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
Ross: (choked voice) That'd be good...
Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!
Ross: A wandering?
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Ross: Okay, sure.
Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Ross: You guys.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Ross: I'm divorced! I'm only 26 and I'm divorced!
Ross: That only took me an hour.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Ross: (scornful) Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you?
Ross: Y'know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a woman out,... who am I gonna ask? (He gazes out of the window.)
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'.
Ross: You got a job?
Ross: The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'...
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Ross: C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,...
[Time Lapse, Rachel and Ross are watching a TV channel finishes it's broadcast day by playing the national anthem.]
Monica: Well, that's it (To Ross) You gonna crash on the couch?
Ross: No. No, I gotta go home sometime.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross and Rachel: Goodnight.
Ross: Mmm. (They both reach for the last cookie) Oh, no-
Ross: No no no, go-
Ross: Split it?
Ross: Okay. (They split it.) You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
Ross: You did! Oh.... I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.
Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here- but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I will...
Ross: Goodnight.
(Rachel goes into her room and Monica enters the living room as Ross is leaving.)
Ross: I just grabbed a spoon. (Ross exits and Monica has no idea what that means.)
Ross: There's an image.
Rachel: Oh my God!!! Ross!!
[Scene: Rachel's office, her desk is covered with stuff Ross has sent her.]
Ross: well he seemed to bum hard that you'd never been in a serious relationship.
Ross: What should I wear, now Im all nervous.
ROSS: Could you be less enthused?
Ross: Oh, come on, you know its a girl!
ROSS: [spreads the pelt on the floor] OK, now, sit. OK. [he starts the music system]
CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?'
Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
Ross: No, but come on, were off to a great start arent we? I knew Id get you here fast, but this has got to be some kind of a record!
Monica, Ross, and Joey: (joining in) Home is Home Star stew.
Ross: I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif... at one point there were villagers.
(Rachel stands there for a moment, starting to cry. Then gasps and runs over and hugs him. While hugging her, Ross tries to find the Does it? part in the letter.)
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Ross: No, God! Hey, Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, ok? Right now you just need to get some rest.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Ugh, can you believe that guy!
Ross: Is everything okay?
Ross: Okay, okay. Enough, enough with the lunging. No! I'm sick of this. Okay. I've had it up to here with you two! Neither you can come to the party!
Ross: Hey, I hear she's single again, d'you think I should ask her out?
Ross: Ah, were out. I sold them all.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Joey and Ross: Go Joe!!!
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.)
Ross: (entering) Hey.
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross is eagerly waiting for the others to get ready, to go to the hospital.]
Ross: Hey, whats going on?
(Ross calls Rachel)
Ross: What, do you, well umm, oh how about I come up there?
Joey: Yeah. (Pause) Hey, I hope Ross didnt think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here!
Ross: Whats that on the bottom?
Ross: Hey, honey.
Ross: Ok, ok! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting, my first mourner! (he hides in the bedroom and closes the door)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie and Ross are watching a movie and Cassie is pouring Ross some more wine as Ross has his hands full with the glass and holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap.]
Ross: Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. Its been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.
Ross: Yeah!!
Ross: You know what, its, its better this way anyway. I mean I dont know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. Its just much easier if were just friends who have a kid.
Ross: Okay sorry, whew.
Ross: Where'd you get fruit at four in the morning?
Ross: Hi! What are you, what are you doing here?
Ross: I can't believe you put that on my alumni page!
(Ross starts to pack up the picnic in anger, and throws a three hole punch in the basket.)
Ross: Yeah, but wait...
Rachel: Hey, Ross!!! I told you I dont!
Sophie: I love Mark. (to Ross) Do you know Mark?
Ross: Hey.
Ross: First of all its Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didnt fly.
Ross: What? (to Sophie) Sophie, does she have ten minutes?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting at the couch.]
Ross: Yes.
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler enters. Ross is putting on makeup.]
Joey: Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape. (Points it out.)
Ross: Yknow what? I think I can take care of myself, Ill talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that youre just using me.
Ross: Yeah, little change in plans. Ahh, were gonna break-up instead.
Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.
(Ross goes to call her.)
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Ross: You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.
Ross: Hi! Its me.
Ross: Whos that?
[Scene: San Diego Zoo. Ross and the janitor are in the nocturnal house.]
Ross: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
PHOE: [seeing Ross kissing Julie outside the window] Ooh, oh, Rachel, don't look.
Ross: Oh, no, no.
Ross: (to Chloe) I like this song.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Ross: Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica!
Ross: Is this about Mark?
Sandy: What is it...? (Ross hesitates) Please...? (he tilts his head)
Ross: All right that's, that's it!! Get off her!
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Ross: Whos that?
Ross: Yeah, why is it staring at me? I think it knows Im talking about it. (Rachel starts to peek at the file) Dont-dont youWhWhaHey!!
Ross: Yeah, but I got cous-cous!
Ross: Is that Mark?
[Scene: Rosss Kitchen, Ross is taking some aspirin and checking his messages.]
Ross: Thats crap!! Sister Brown Bird. (to Elizabeth) Good going. (does the salute)
Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome?
Ross: Yeah!!
Ross: I love you.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time.
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Ross: Yes, you can, very much.
Chandler: (entering) Hey, you guys! Hey, Ross, quick question for ya. Are you ready to party?
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Ross: Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice!
Ross: Yeah, but dont you think....
Ross: What trail?
Ross: Phoebe, forget it, okay? Newark is - is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time.
Ross: Oh, I-I dont think theres any trail.
Ross: (stopping grinding) Pepper?
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
Ross: You took my watch?
Ross: Yeah, thats the one. Listen, I dont want to hurt her.