words in movies
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Ross: I have to say Tupolo Honey by Van Morrison.
Ross: Hey Mon!
Ross: Nope.
Ross: Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace, so.
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Ross: You need to get some sleep.
Joey: There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross?
Ross: Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
Ross: Hmm?
Ross: Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place.
Ross: I think I have an old band uniform from high school.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What?
Ross: No.
Ross: Nope.
Rachel: Ross, you know what...
Ross: What?
Ross: Okay, umm. Did you ever see, um, Return Of The Jedi?
Ross: Do you remember the scene with, um, Jabba the Hut? Well Jabba had as, as his prisoner, um, Princess Leia.
Ross: Princess Leia, was wearing this, um, gold bikini thing. It was pretty cool.
Ross: (entering with Monica in tow) Hey!
Ross: Look who I found standing outside of the Szechwan Dragon staring at a parking meter.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Guess what?
Ross: They published my paper.
Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Joey: Jan-ice. 'Cause I, just, I feel bad for Ross, you know, we-we always go together, we're like the three hocke-teers.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are entering]
Ross: How could you have told her?
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of deal.
Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
Rachel: Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.
Ross: That's different, okay. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staton Island Ferry?'.
Ross: Yeah. Look, you don't, you don't talk about like, you know, your girlfriend and the intimate stuff you, you do with her.
Ross: Noo!
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Ross: Hmph. So what you, you tell each other everything?
Ross: Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?
Ross: I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.
Monica: Uh, huh. (to Ross) Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. (Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe leave)
Ross: Women tell each other everything. Did you know that?
Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth....
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
Ross: Nooo!
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Okay, okay, I'll go first.
Ross: So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing....
Ross: Yes!
Ross: Yes! Wow, well, that-that was easy. Okay, you-you go.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Hmph.
Ross: With the belly-button ring? Oh, muhawa!
Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know...(Ross just stares at him). You don't know!
Ross: Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?
Ross: I said 'share' not 'scare'. Go sit over there! (Chandler goes over and sits at a table and puts his head down).
Joey: Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Ross: No, no it's, um, it's not you, um, it's um, it's (turns and sees his Mom standing where Rachel is)
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
Ross: Hey! Its 42-21!
(Ross flounders.)
Monica: Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! (Shows him Ben's picture.) Huh? You're-you're a cowboy!
Ross: Yeah, most of it it's a place packed with confused angry baseball fans!
Ross: (entering) Uh fellas, (Does the maneuver and gives them a double thumbs up, which Chandler returns as he closes the door.)
Ross: And what did he ask you not to call him?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Sandy is knitting baby clothes. Ross and Rachel walk into the living room.]
Ross: Let go! Let go!
Ross: Yeah, losers talk!
Joey: (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths Come on!) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Ross: No! You let go!
Ross: Gimme the this!
Rachel: (entering) Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought.
Ross: I know. I feel horrible. Okay.
Ross: Okay, y'know what, lets just cut to the chase here. Okay? Heidi, which of my boys do you like?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah, Sarah, anything.
ROSS: As in, "I now pronounce you wife and wife" married?
Ross: We make a great foursome. We should do more stuff together. Ooh! Let's take a trip. Okay, where do you think we - we can go?
Ross: (puts away his wallet) And what is second prize?
ROSS: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
Ross: Hi, Im selling Brown Bird cookies.
(She takes her hand off Erica. Ross enters the room)
Ross: All right!!
Ross: Well, that makes sense.
Ross: Mon?
Ross: Ill tell you what Mon, Ill give you the first box for free.
ROSS: Cannot feel my tounge.
Ross and Rachel: Oh!
Ross: ....and 12, 22, 18, four... (Chandler starts laughing) What?
Chandler: Yes, yes, its just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross.
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Ross: Well hey, who did these resumes for ya?
Ross: Its not a library...
Ross: What, that wasnt the great news?
Ross: (stopping quickly) Oh umm, theres also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. (They both laugh, but stop when the hear moaning coming from the next aisle.) What is that?
Ross: I dont have too. I can just look at you.
ROSS: You, you know I, I don't, have a- have a problem with that.
Carol: Let it go, Ross.
[He opens the window, Ross comes in, soaked.]
Ross: Hi there!
Ross: (to himself) Not nice enough.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross are there.]
Ross: That's funny...Do you think you'll ever work again?
Ross: That word was swans.
Ross: Whats a scrud?
Ross: No.
Ross: My first time with Carol was... (He mumbles the last part)
ROSS: Ah?� (Mike nods.� Another pause.)� Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Ross: No, I fold. (lays cards down, and gets up)
Ross: Hey Chandler, theres a party tomorrow, youll feel better then.
Ross: Nice to see you again Dr. Green.
Phoebe: Him? Him, Ross?
Phoebe: Ross, went to get a cab so we can all... No, wh-what are you doing! No, Monica, no!
Ross: I dont know, something girlie.
Rachel: Oh yeah! (She gasps.) Oh my God! That is our friend! (Monica covers her face.) It's Naked Ross! (Monica turns and buries her face in Chandler's shoulder.)
ROSS: Let's, let's take this outside? Who talks like that?
Ross: Well you sure used a large font.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! Thats when it occurred to me, the key to my success, the munchies. So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!'
ROSS: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Phoebe, you cant get out of this! Okay? You have to learn how to ride a bike!
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]
Ross: Uh-huh.
Ross: Huh. Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex.
Ross: Thats excellent.
Ross: Hi.
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
Ross: Flip me for it? No, no, no... heads, heads, heads!
(Cut to Ross and Monica)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! (He picks up a lamp and hands it to Chandler, for no reason.) It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! (to Emily) Hi!
Ross: It was, it was great. Oh, what happened?
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Ross: Thats okay.
Ross: (answering it) 1987, the day after Christmas, at Sean McMahons party. I played you one of my songs, yknow Interplanetary Courtship Ritual.
Phoebe: This is everybody. This is Ross.
Ross: Mary-Angela.
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
Ross: Ah, which, which one?
Ross: Well I had a great time! Umm, Chancy on the other hand
Ross: Ya wanna hang back and take our own cab?
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it?
Ross: Its okay. Come, come on in.
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
Ross: That is so made up!
Ross: There you go.
Ross: No.
Ross: Well, yeah!
ROSS: Oh, see from where I was sitting I uh. . .
Ross: (shyly) You grow up.