words in movies
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Ross: I have to say Tupolo Honey by Van Morrison.
Ross: Hey Mon!
Ross: Nope.
Ross: Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace, so.
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Ross: You need to get some sleep.
Joey: There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross?
Ross: Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
Ross: Hmm?
Ross: Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place.
Ross: I think I have an old band uniform from high school.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What?
Ross: No.
Ross: Nope.
Rachel: Ross, you know what...
Ross: What?
Ross: Okay, umm. Did you ever see, um, Return Of The Jedi?
Ross: Do you remember the scene with, um, Jabba the Hut? Well Jabba had as, as his prisoner, um, Princess Leia.
Ross: Princess Leia, was wearing this, um, gold bikini thing. It was pretty cool.
Ross: (entering with Monica in tow) Hey!
Ross: Look who I found standing outside of the Szechwan Dragon staring at a parking meter.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Guess what?
Ross: They published my paper.
Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Joey: Jan-ice. 'Cause I, just, I feel bad for Ross, you know, we-we always go together, we're like the three hocke-teers.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are entering]
Ross: How could you have told her?
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of deal.
Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
Rachel: Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.
Ross: That's different, okay. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staton Island Ferry?'.
Ross: Yeah. Look, you don't, you don't talk about like, you know, your girlfriend and the intimate stuff you, you do with her.
Ross: Noo!
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Ross: Hmph. So what you, you tell each other everything?
Ross: Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?
Ross: I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.
Monica: Uh, huh. (to Ross) Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. (Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe leave)
Ross: Women tell each other everything. Did you know that?
Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth....
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
Ross: Nooo!
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Okay, okay, I'll go first.
Ross: So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing....
Ross: Yes!
Ross: Yes! Wow, well, that-that was easy. Okay, you-you go.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Hmph.
Ross: With the belly-button ring? Oh, muhawa!
Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know...(Ross just stares at him). You don't know!
Ross: Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?
Ross: I said 'share' not 'scare'. Go sit over there! (Chandler goes over and sits at a table and puts his head down).
Joey: Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Ross: No, no it's, um, it's not you, um, it's um, it's (turns and sees his Mom standing where Rachel is)
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
Ross: Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?
Ross: Okay, (to Chandler) this play, I want you to do a down and out to the right. Okay. Break!
Ross: Okay.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah, me too.
Ross: Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
Chandler and Ross: Yeah!
Ross: How sad are we?
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)
Ross: Oh, yeah, well y'know Chandler printed it up on his computer.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Look Im sorry Pheebs, I cant do it.
ROSS: Well, I am going to, uh... get a beverage. It was nice, nice... uh... meeting you.
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
[cut to later, in Rosss huddle.]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
ROSS: You know what? You know what? If, things were the other way around, there's nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you.
Carol: (looking through the peephole) Ugh. (opening the door) Ross!
Rachel: Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!
Julie: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.
RACHEL: Oh that's so cute:� Ross and Mike's first date.� Is that going to be awkward?� I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross enters the display where Rachel is waiting.]
[Ross runs to Rachel's bedroom, knocking on the door.]
Ross: Pheebs you uh you do know how to ride a bike dont you?
Ross: Oh! Well then this is awkward. So what do you uh
Joey: Its between us and the sea, Ross!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
Ross: Im sweeping...
Ross: Hey! Howd the ah, basketball go?
Ross: (to Emily) Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water?
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Ross: Nothing, its just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Ross: I wasnt sleeping.
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
Ross: Yknow, youre right. Thank you.
Rachel: No. Ross, it, it just seems that y'know its time we-we y'know, move on. I mean, I mean dont you think?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing. Ross walks in in a uniform.]
Ross: All right, Ill see you tonight.
Ross: Catch any big fish? (Phoebe, Ross, and Monica all go over to him.)
ROSS: (on phone) Yeah, yeah, everybody's here. Hey, everybody, say hi to Julie in New Mexico.
Ross: What?
Ross: Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing.
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Ross: What?
Ross: (to himself) Good for a scrud.
Ross: My God!
Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesnt find out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?
Ross: Im-Im not kidding. Look I-I, I cant have three failed marriages. I cant. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy!
Ross: (moved by the kiss) Huh...
ROSS: Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Ross: Hey! (Listens.) Yeah-yeah, we're just having dinner. (Listens.) Uh, yeah, sure uh hold on. (To the gang.) She wants to say hi. (To Emily) Hold on.
Ross: Okay. (Ross starts frantically looking for a clock.)
Ross: No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available.
Ross: Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!
[The next one is from Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In.]
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Ross: Well lets just say (singing) Rosss caaaaan!
(Ross takes big steps leaving for Joey and Rachel's apartment, where Rachel is going through her papers.)
Ross: Thats okay, Im cool over here. Ill catch up with you later, Joey. (Joey is shocked.)
Ross: Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors.
Ross: That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures!
Ross: Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away.
Ross: Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
ROSS: It's the only possibility, Phoebe.
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Chandler: (to Ross) See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.
Ross: All right, there you go!
Ross: Yeah, okay, Scott!
ROSS: Wha, OK, now how do you know that?
Ross: So, you’re saying, uh, if I wear these pants I might be getting into hers?
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
JOEY: Hey Ross, I'm aware of what I owe.
ROSS: Whad'ya mean?
Ross: Uhh, it was fun. We, we just had coffee.
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Ross: Dont blame the questions!
Ross: Wow. Im sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. (Rachel giggles at that)
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Rosss apartment is nice! How come we don't hang out here more often?
Ross: OK. (closes eyes) I'm in my apartment...
Ross: Dude!
Ross: Oh, now you want a favour?
ROSS: I am your friend.
Ross: People can hear you.
Rachel: Nodded off!! Ross you were snoring. My fathers boat didnt make that much noise when it hit rocks!
Ross: Uh actually Joey, its the Cretasous period.
Ross: Hey!