words in movies
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Ross: I have to say Tupolo Honey by Van Morrison.
Ross: Hey Mon!
Ross: Nope.
Ross: Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace, so.
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Ross: You need to get some sleep.
Joey: There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross?
Ross: Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
Ross: Hmm?
Ross: Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place.
Ross: I think I have an old band uniform from high school.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What?
Ross: No.
Ross: Nope.
Rachel: Ross, you know what...
Ross: What?
Ross: Okay, umm. Did you ever see, um, Return Of The Jedi?
Ross: Do you remember the scene with, um, Jabba the Hut? Well Jabba had as, as his prisoner, um, Princess Leia.
Ross: Princess Leia, was wearing this, um, gold bikini thing. It was pretty cool.
Ross: (entering with Monica in tow) Hey!
Ross: Look who I found standing outside of the Szechwan Dragon staring at a parking meter.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Guess what?
Ross: They published my paper.
Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Joey: Jan-ice. 'Cause I, just, I feel bad for Ross, you know, we-we always go together, we're like the three hocke-teers.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are entering]
Ross: How could you have told her?
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of deal.
Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
Rachel: Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.
Ross: That's different, okay. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staton Island Ferry?'.
Ross: Yeah. Look, you don't, you don't talk about like, you know, your girlfriend and the intimate stuff you, you do with her.
Ross: Noo!
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Ross: Hmph. So what you, you tell each other everything?
Ross: Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?
Ross: I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.
Monica: Uh, huh. (to Ross) Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. (Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe leave)
Ross: Women tell each other everything. Did you know that?
Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth....
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
Ross: Nooo!
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Okay, okay, I'll go first.
Ross: So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing....
Ross: Yes!
Ross: Yes! Wow, well, that-that was easy. Okay, you-you go.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Hmph.
Ross: With the belly-button ring? Oh, muhawa!
Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know...(Ross just stares at him). You don't know!
Ross: Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?
Ross: I said 'share' not 'scare'. Go sit over there! (Chandler goes over and sits at a table and puts his head down).
Joey: Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Ross: No, no it's, um, it's not you, um, it's um, it's (turns and sees his Mom standing where Rachel is)
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
(Ross motions for the girls to pick.)
Ross: Yes, yes I am, one of the many things Im feeling. Well.... (picks up her coat)
Ross: Not just Janice, Janice in labor, contracting and everything.
Ross: (entering) Look, I really need some help, okay? Why? Why did I have to speak in a British accent?! What do I do?
Ross: (to Rachel) But work comes first! (to Mark) Oh hey, but thats sad about you though, what happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did ya?
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
Ross: Listen, I got to tell you Ive-Ive never been to a guru before, so...
Ross: Oh, thanks. Yeah, I really thought wed be able to make it work, but uh, I guess it just wasnt meant to be.
Ross: Okay, its second down. (turns away) Take all the second downs you need.
Phoebe: Yeah? (sees Ross) Hi!
Ross: I dont know what to say.
Ross: Happy for you. (He punches her back.)
Ross: None.
Ross: Im sorry.
Ross: Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond.
Ross: Well, Rachel's having drinks with him tonight.
ROSS: Alright, alright, ok. Bye.
(Ross gets fed up with Joeys banging and stops him by pulling him away from the door.)
Ross: Oh, no-no-no dont you worry about me falling asleep. I still have your letter!!!
Ross: She said you gave her the razor!
Ross: So when I came in here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again, you were engaged to my best friend.
Ross: Okay, have fun! Wooo!!
Ross: All right. (reading the label) Candy and Cookie?
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
(Ross appears at the window behind them crouched behind a garbage can and ready to spring his attack on who he thinks are Phoebe and Rachel. The camera cuts to the exterior view and Phoebe and Rachel call the shots from inside.)
Rachel: Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross. Yeah, honey, Im sorry, but I dont think that was a romantic thing.
Ross: Is that Mark?
Ross: Sorry, Im sorry. Close, close, close...
Ross: I know if you were getting married Id feel, kinda .. yknow.
Ross: It does. It really and truly does.
Ross: Sandy... Hi, we uhm... we kinda need to talk. I'm afraid it's not working out.
Ross: When you put a D at the end of Fine youre not fine.
Ross: (To Joey) Hey, you wanna get something to eat or uh, do you wanna see how long we can throw this ball back and forth? Huh?
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.]
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Ross: Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss.
Ross: Althea is correct.
Ross: Ooh! Theres no way to do this without her? Cause I kinda all ready told her uh, it was, it was already taken care of.
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Ross: Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! (they all look at each other when Ross grabs a plate) Guess what happened at work today...
Ross: Yeah but, on the bright side, we get to be roommates again.
Joey: Well, I was thinking that itd probably be okay because Ross hasnt gone out with Rachel in five years!
(They both continue on and Ross meows like a cat.)
Ross: Monica, uh Dad called this morning and ah, Aunt Silvia passed away.
Ross: I'm fine! Hey, I'm great! I'm just.. I'm just proud of us. There's no weirdness, no tension.
ROSS: Nuh, uh, the moment's gone.
Joey, Rachel, and Ross: Hey!
Ross: The volcano?
Ross: Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didnt want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that shes going to Florida for spring vacation.
Bonnie: (kisses Ross) Dont be too long.
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is working on his laptop when Rachel enters with Emma.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is looking out the window.]
Ross: No!
Ross: So why dont you quit?
Ross: Who is Maria?
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
(Ross wears the jackets and look at himself in the mirror)
Joey: Relax Ross, we'll be ready. It only takes us two minutes to get dressed.
Ross: Then how do you explain the toe ring?!
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
Ross: Good! Thats good!
Ross: You dont have to shout everything.
Ross: Me? No.
ROSS: No see now, now I can't because uh, I'm feeling too self conscious.
Ross: Whoa-oh, okay! Yeah, why am I telling you that?
Ross: Erica, those things aren't free. In fact they have one of the highest mark-ups of any consumer product...
(Chandler and Ross enter)
Ross: Its heads. (The guys celebrate.) Gentlemen, pick your category.
Ross: And thats funny, why?
Ross: And so now you guys are gonna be married?
Ross: Look, they must be stopped!
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is coming out to talk to Rachel.]
Ross: Hello.
Ross: No-no.
Ross: Yeah, its the Ultimate Fighting Combo. Yeah, I saved thirty cents, plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!!
Joey: Of course you do! I saved him! You're mad at me! It all adds up! You want Ross out of the picture.
Ross: Ah no. I dont, but it could not have been more than sixty.
ROSS: Here you go, you can pay me back whenever you like.
Ross: Oh yknow, I stillI cant believe it. Joey and Rachel I mean its Its like you and me going out, only weirder!
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Ross: Okay, quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)
Ross: (on the phone) Hello? (Listens.) No she cant come to the phone right now. (Listens.) Oh, right no problem. Okay, bye-bye. (Hangs up.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the next morning. Chandler, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
Ross: Thirty seconds, all the questions you can answer.
(Ross glares at Chandler.)
Ross: He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-...
Ross: Oh waithold it! But then I started thinking and I stopped the kissing.
Chandler: Thank you, Ross.
Ross: (to Rachel) I was just leaving.
Ross: Oh.
Ross: Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long?
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Oke-dokey. (He pokes her in the eye with the brush.)
Ross: 150 dollars.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Monica knows.
Ross: Wow! You-you look great!
Ross: What?