words in movies
[Scene: Rosss Wedding, continued from last season, the Minister is about to marry Ross and Emily.]
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. (Time lapse) Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...
Ross: I Ross...
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Minister: I think wed better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross
Ross: I, Ross
Ross: Take thee, (Glares at the Minister) Emily. (Chuckles) Like thered be anybody else. (Emily is glaring at him.)
Ross: As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. Really, I do. Emily. (Points at her.)
Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Rosss finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emilys hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Ross: Happy too.
Minister: Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife.
Ross: Yay!
(He goes to kiss her, but she isnt very receptive of the kiss. She keeps avoiding him, until Ross finally gets to kiss her on her cheek.)
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
Ross: Okay.
(Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.)
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Joey: (To the gang) Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right?
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Ross: And, I love you!! (He walks into the living room)
Mr. Geller: Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
Rachel: Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just cant pretend that didnt happen can I?
Rachel: Whoa, wait, listen, I think Im just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.
(Cut to Rachel and Ross.)
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Oh no! It could be better, but its gonna be okay, right?
Ross: No! No! Of course it didnt mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can understand why Emily would think it meant something, yknow, because-because it was you
Ross: But it absolutely didnt. (Yelling towards the bathroom) It didnt!! It didnt!!
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
Ross: (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the bands ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band saysI dont care about the stupid band!!
Ross: Look, Im sorry.
Ross: Oh, right!
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Rachel: Well, Ross said my name.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, Chandler and Monica are still looking for a place to do the deed.]
Chandler: Well, Ross and Emily arent gonna use it.
(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)
Ross: (entering) Emily?!
Ross: No, Ive looked everywhere!
Ross: No! For all I know, shes trying to find me but couldnt because I kept moving around. No, from now on, Im staying in one place. (He sits down on the bed.) Right here.
Ross: Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while?
Ross: (disappointed) Thats cool.
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but theres a knock on the door that awakens him.)
Ross: Em-Emily? (Looking around for her.) Em-Emily? (He runs to the door.) Emily! (He opens the door to reveal the Walthams standing outside.)
Ross: Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she?
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Mrs. Waltham: (As she walks pass Ross, she pats his but.) Call me.
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]
Ross: Rach! Rach!
Ross: Hi! What are you, what are you doing here?
Ross: Oh.
Ross: Not yet.
Ross: Pretty soon I guess.
Ross: I just, I dont understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Yknow, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that shed actually show up?
Rachel: No, youre not an idiot, Ross. Youre a guy very much in love.
Ross: Same difference.
Ross: I get it! Well, thats that.
Ross: What?
Ross: Oh, I dont, I dont, I dont know
Rachel: Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you!
Ross: I could, yeah, I can do that.
Ross: I cant, I cant even believe her! No, yknow what, I am, I am gonna go!
Ross: I know, why not?
Ross: Right?
Ross: Yknowthanks! (They hug)
Ross: Yeah, well nah.
Ross: Why dont you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not?
Rachel: Well-well, I dont know Rossreally?
Ross: Yeah, yeah, itll be great! You can, you can lay on the beach and I can cry over my failed marriage. See-see how I make jokes?
Ross: No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend.
Ross: Okay!
Ross: Cool!
Ross: Come on! (They go to the jetway, Ross hands the tickets to the gate agent.) Here.
Ross: Ah! Ah! I forgot my jacket!
Ross: You tell them to wait!
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
Ross: Emily.
(She stares at him and Ross realizes what shes thinking.)
Ross: Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! (Emily starts to run out and Ross chases her.) No! No! Emily!
[Scene: Flight 1066 to Athens, Rachel is ordering a drink for Ross and herself.]
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Ross: YeahNo!!
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
Ross: This-this is crazy! I can do this! All right, uhh, I bet I can get all 50 before dinner.
Ross: Uh uh... well, her Internet Company went under and she lost an ear in a boating accident...
Monica: (comes up and starts looking through Rosss cookie supply) Ross, but me down for another box of the mint treasures, okay. Where, where are the mint treasures?
Ross: (stunned at the complement) Youre welcome.
Rachel: Alright, Emma is napping... (then to Ross) what happened to your shirt?
Ross: Well, the lighting was okay.
Ross: Yeah, y'know what? I'll take it myself, thank you! (He signs the form and hands it back to the salesman.) All right Rach, let's go! (He picks up one end of the couch.)
Rachel: Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.
Ross: Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world.
Ross: She seems really, really fun!
Ross: What?!
Ross: So thats two of my wives.
Ross: (opens it to reveal Phoebe) Hey!
Monica: Rosss parents are my parents!
Ross: (in his British accent) Im sorry, Ive got plans with my sister.
Ross: She's not- past, she's present, she's back.
Ross: You're not his godfather.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Happy New Year, Pheebs!
Ross: Great! Im across the street having sex with her right now. Your story sucks!
Ross: Well, you need something to make this day special? Hello! You-you-you have the most special thing of all! You are marrying the woman you love.
Phoebe: To Ross.
Ross: So?
Ross: Pretty please? Not very uh, 007.
Ross: When I got married you slept with my sister.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: (He notices something through the window.) No! No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Charlie: Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic!
ROSS: I meant because the monkey in it reminds me of Marcel.
Ross: And on your anniversary, for shame!
Ross: Yeah, it's-it's tough being single. That's why I'm so glad I found Amanda.
[Joey and Ross get annoyed with Chandler's outburst.]
Chandler: Ross is Batman!
Ross: (continuing) " subcategories. The first of these subcategories is "
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What?
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Ross: ...everyone, this is Chandler!
(Ross grabs for some food, Monica slaps his hand away.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.]
Ross: Come on, come on, were-were-were lighting the candles!
Ross: Hi.
Joey: (answering the phone) Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, it's Julie, for you. (Throws him the phone.)
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Ross: (blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.
Ross: Guess what? I made Emma laugh today.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is totally wasted, but he's still drinking all the margaritas.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Phoebe thats not true.
Ross: (stands up) Now umm, remember Im still learning.
Rachel: (seeing Ross come off the plane with another woman.) Oh my God.
Ross: (entering) What's going on?
Ross: What?! What?!
[Scene: Hillarys apartmen,. Hillary and Ross are having dinner. He is avoiding opening his mouth.]
Ross: Well, he said there's definitely nothing to worry about, it's totally benign.
CHAN: [to Phoebe] Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. [introducing Russ and Ross] Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.
JOEY: Yeah, that makes sense. (looks at Ross)
Ross: Oo-oo!
Ross: That little naked guy would be me.
Ross: Got me.
Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again.
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
<Everyone is shocked and Monica faints and Ross catches her>
(Ross laughs.)
Ross: (quietly) Dude!
Ross: Hey!
Chandler: No, no, Ross and Rachel will be back soon and then I gotta go to the office (Pulls another balloon out of his mouth) Am I producing them?
Ross: You cant do that!
Ross: Well, why dont you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.
Ross: Okay, do-do you have a good grip?
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Only way to fly.
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
Ross: No way!
Ross: HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! (Chandler is so shocked at Ross's outburst that he drops his spoon and backs up) Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!!
Ross: What do you think youre doing?!
(Ross shuts it off and they get out.)
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
Ross: With you?! Yeah right!
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Ross: Please don't take her away from me!
MONICA: [to Ross] Looks like he's playin' baseball.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.]
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Ross: Yeah, Ill get right on that.
Ross: Here it comes.
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Ross: Dear Lord!!
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Well she should, it was taken ten years ago!
Ross: I can handle the stick!!
Ross: Who?
Ross: People need juice!
Ross: What?! What does he want?! I wasnt doing anything!
Carol: (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
Ross: Good evening officer.
Ross: I know. I know.
Ross: (mortified) Hi.