words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
ROSS: Oh really? What uh, what does he want with her?
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
ROSS: Wha, OK, now how do you know that?
ROSS: Monica, if you want, I can lend you some money.
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
ROSS: No no, no no, it's not flashy, not for a Goodfella.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
ROSS: Would you look at that guy, I mean how long has he been talking to her. It's like, back off buddy she's a waitress not a geisha.
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
ROSS: OK, see ya later, nice meeting you. [man leaves] You're welcome.
ROSS: I was saving you.
ROSS: Oh, see from where I was sitting I uh. . .
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
ROSS: But, you are.
ROSS: Uh, uh, well you're, umm, you're my lobster.
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
ROSS: Rach. OK, forget, forget the lobsters OK. We're, let's talk, what about us?
RACHEL: Ross, there is no us, OK.
ROSS: No, but. . .
ROSS: Well, but, but. . .
RACHEL: NO but Ross. We are never gonna happen, OK. Accept that.
ROSS: E-except, except that what?
ROSS: Oh.
ROSS: Hey guys.
ROSS: No, he's at uh, Carol's and Susan's today.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
ROSS: Emotional hell. So, did they lend you the money yet?
ROSS: C'mon Monica, do it. Hey, you guys, um, Monica has some news.
MONICA and ROSS: In the bank.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Ross are standing in the kitchen. Ross is filling out a check]
ROSS: Here you go, you can pay me back whenever you like.
ROSS: Yeah, yeah I mean, you get your money and you learn a little something, what's wrong with that?
ROSS: [Rachel enters] Oh.
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
ROSS: You look pretty tonight.
ROSS: Oh, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna hang out, work on my music.
ROSS: Uh, hold, let me see, I don't know. So what're you gonna do. . . [doorbell rings]
ROSS: this summer?
[Ross is sitting on the stairs with a laptop keyboard playing 'Axel-F']
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
ROSS: Doubtful.
ROSS: Dad, she won't want to go with me.
ROSS: I don't know.
ROSS: OK. Hold my board.
MR. GELLER: Atta boy. [Ross scrambles upstairs to change]
ROSS: OK, you guys, ya know, I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off.
ROSS: OK, fine, well I'm not gonna watch, alright.
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
ROSS: Yeah, well.
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
Ross: (seeing the thumbs up) Ahhhh!! (Hugs Rachel tighter.)
(Ross looks annoyed hearing that even Dirk's character won a Nobel prize)
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! You just did what you had to do.
Ross: So, what? That's it?
Ross: Rach, Rach, I am so sorry. I am so-so sorry.
Ross: Oh, thanks. Oh, you're the best. (They hug.)
Rachel: Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
Ross: Well, I-I gotta go break up with Bonnie.
Ross: Oh... (to the others) Little heads-up would have been nice.
Ross: Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it.
Ross: Hey-hey, its valid okay? And Im not the only one who thinks so, Monica agrees with me.
Ross: Hi.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering.]
Joey: Ross, you're mayor of the zone.
ROSS: Doctor Burke is sexy?
Ross: What thing?
Ross: So-so come! Why dont you come?
Ross: Joeys asking if youve just ruined the first book hes ever loved that didnt star Jack Nicholson?
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
[Scene: The next morning on the street. Ross is dancing along, Singing in the Rain is playing. Two old ladies are sitting on a bench.]
Ross: So Im thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week.
Ross: Hey everybody, Pheebs is here!
[Scene: The hotel, Rosss room, Emily is entering.]
Ross: Wait! It was my plan.
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
Ross: The paper.
Ross: Yeah.
(Ross is stunned.)
Ross: Go ahead.
Ross: Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket.
Ross: I like it, and Emily likes it, and thats what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing?
Charlie: (talking to Ross) I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.
Phoebe: Hey! Hey, did you get your invitation to Rosss wedding?
Ross: Why are you laughing?
Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: (to Ross) Na ha ha... (to Chappy) Ne he he... (Ross moves Chappy to Chandler, who quickly backs away) Ah ah...
Ross: Why should Ben step aside? It was his audition in the first place! You-you just tagged along! You're like the uh, tag-a-long dad.
Ross: That is what the thing is.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Emily has packed as Ross returns.]
Ross: Well, y'know, monogamy can be a, uh, tricky concept. I mean, anthropologically speaking-
Ross: Uh, no, its-its just this person.
Ross: Okay, let's go!
Ross: No thank you for Thank you.
Ross: Juice, I need...
Carol: Ross? That opens my cervix. (He drops it in horror.)
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
Ross: It's all right.
Ross: (trying to make his disgust into lust) Ah, Cheryl!
Ross: Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?
Ross: Im giving this lecture on erosion theories tomorrow night, I think you should come.
Ross: Hello.
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
[Ross gets up, pleased with himself and starts to walk past Joey.]
Ross: Hey, where are Monica and Rachel anyway?
Ross: All right, it's cool you can stay here. My parents won't mind.
Ross: Again, it's not that he
Ross: She's gonna be a scientist! (kisses Rachel on the head, very moved)
Ross: Look, I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep.
Chandler: (to Ross) Maybe you do that next time you get married!
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Phoebe: Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would... would you two (points to Ross and Chandler) like that?
Ross: Breathe! Breathe! Breathe throw the pain.
Ross: Argh!
Ross: So! Poetry? Susans gay! Theyre being gay together!
Ross: I do too! I do too!
Ross: Hey!
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.
Ross: (feeling the fabric) Wow, this is really soft (he looks the price). Three hundred and fifty dollars?
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
Ross: Oh, you-youre-youre one to talk.
ROSS: That was 14 hours ago.
Ross: You did it, man.
Joey: From now on, its gonna be Joey and Ross, best friends. (They shake hands.) Okay! Were gonna be the new Joey and Chandler.
Ross: What?! (Checks his hair.) Give-give me a brush.
Joey: Yeah? Well look Ross, you don't have to. Okay? It's not your fault I suck. I mean what kind of an actor can't even say, "Hmm, noodle soup." (Nods his head in disgust.)
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
[Scene: A street, Ross and Emily are walking home from a date.]
Joey: Okay, you picked the Gimmie card! You get all of Rosss points!
(They all go pack except for Ross.)
Joey: Ross! Way to suck up to the family.
Ross: Hate him? I No, I dont hate him. (Pause) Its just its Rachel, yknow?
Ross: (to the gang, whispering) She's talking.
Ross: (on phone) Hello.
Ross: In London!
Ross: (entering) Hi!
Ross: Whoa, hello, did you just meet Monica?
Ross: She wants me to move to London.
Ross: It could happen.
Ross: We have got to start locking that door!
Ross: Yes, tell me.
Ross: I know. I am, I am so sorry.
Ross: Again, very sorry.
Ross: Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me. Okay? I love you.
Ross: Oh that is so great! That's
Rachel: Hi! Oh, Ross, dont forget, we have that doctors appointment tomorrow!
Ross: I can't believe you let George Michael slap you.
Ross: I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachels father. Look I I made a mistake, but its only because I really, really like you. Really!
Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.