words in movies
(Ross enters.)
Ross: Hey, you're not naked! So hey, Rach, when will we expect to see you tonight?
Ross: Bye! Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Yeah, that'll do it.
Ross: I'm, I'm okay.
Ross: Sure, I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out? Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce.
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...
Ross: Yeah? Any names come to mind?
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Monica: Just figured, 'cause you and Ross are...
Joey (gives a thumbs up sign): Okay, okay. Wait till you hear who I got for Ross.
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Ross: Excuse me, is there a woman waiting at the bar? Someone average height, dark hair, perhaps doing a puzzle?
Ross: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.
Ross: Nah, I don't know if I should. I don't wanna be drunk when I go home alone.
Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. It's just a blind date.
Ross: No!
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Ross: Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.
Ross: Wow, free crab cakes. Well, that's nice. Although I was hoping to have sex tonight.
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
Ross: Just the crab cakes.
Ross: What's - what's going on?
Ross: What? You - you're making money off my misery?
Ross: This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
(She walks over to Central Perk and enters to find Ross sitting on the couch, eating crab cakes. She takes off her coat while groaning and shuddering.)
Ross: Hey, what's wrong?
Ross: Oh. Crab cake?
Ross: Well, what happened?
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Ross: I did, too.
Ross: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?
Ross: Why does everyone keep saying that?
Ross: That bad?
Ross: Female body inspector? What size is that?
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Ross: The first date we've had in months, and they were both such disasters.
Ross: Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
(They run down the street with Ross and Rachel following right behind them.)
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Ross: I know. A double blind date, and we both get stood up. What are the chances?
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Monica: (entering) Ross (who has his foot on the coffee table), foot on the floor or come over no more!
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Ross: (astonished) What?
Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?
Ross: and then, we couldve gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar!
(Ross looks scared)
Ross: I'm having a son. Um...
Ross: This is fun. Hey Rach, remember that whole "We were on a break thing?" Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me? (Laughs--whines as he sees that no one is laughing. They're just staring at him in shock.)
Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.
Ross: OK, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
Joey: Nonono, you can't kiss Ross, that's your brother.
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is.
Ross: What do you want to do now? Huh? You wanna go get a drink?
Rachel: (talking in her sleep) Oooooooooh. (Rachel strokes her hand over the pillow. Ross mimicks her silently) Oh, that's nice. Oh, oh. Huh, Ross!
Ross: Wha-I'm having, I'm having a boy! (babbling) Huh, am I having a boy?
Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.
Ross: So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even.
Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Ross! He's playing with my spatulas again!
Ross: Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?
Ross: Nonono, thatthat's not what I was saying...
Monica screaming at Ross: Forget the bubblewrap! There isn't time!
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
Rachel: Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)
Ross: Okay, hold my crawler.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.]
Ross: Not even once.
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Ross and Monica are there.]
Ross: Well, there is an Arbys in the shape of a tee-pee.
Ross: Im sorry the answer there would be...none of us.
Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?
Ross: We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry.
ROSS: Rach, Rach, we'll be fine, all right?� You go have fun.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new (On Rachels glare) old sheet?
Ross: So Joey, you okay?
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
Ross: Why, why, why would you dream that?
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Actually, nectarines, but basically...
Ross: Aw, right.
Ross: An egg?
Ross: Hi. She said yes.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Ross: Well, oh just ah, I was just wondering, when you and I split up, did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M*A*S*H and half the hostages coming home?
Rachel: (On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.
Ross: (coming out of the bedroom) Oh! Oh my God! I didnt even see you!
Ross: I love it, when we share.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just found out about Chloe and is screaming at Ross. The rest of the gang is trapped in Monica's bedroom.]
(Camera pans to Ross, holding his stomach)
Ross: The most amazing thing happened tonight. I thought my number was up. I had an actual near death experience!
Ross: (noticing the pipe and looking at the door) Joey wheres the pipe that was holding the door open?
Joey: (to Ross) Wanna play strip poker for practice?
Ross: Okay, Im gonna play my sperm card one more time.
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
Ross: I cannot sleep in a public place.
Ross: I can't belive you two had sex in her dream.
Ross: ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-
Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?
Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.
(He shuts the door and Ross and Monica fling cookies at it)
Ross: Hi! (Kisses his mom.) Hey mom.
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!
Ross: Anyway it-it kinda-it all boils down to this, the last time I talked to Emily
Ross: I dont want people to see it for your sake.
(Everyone says no and folds, except for Ross, who thinks about it.)
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Rosss sister Monica.
Ross: No but, no but.
Ross: That's easy for you to say, you found one already.
Ross: (Doing the spinning) Okay, Monica: Right foot red.
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
(She goes into her apartment and sees Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross sitting there.)
Ross: What's going on?
Ross: Well, howdya feel?
Ross: Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here.
Ross: Because, because Ive got Ben.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.
Ross: Well, when you're subletting an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce, sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back.
Ross: Oh, right, because he's a scientist!
Ross: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Pheebs, what's going on?
Ross: (on phone) Thats right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.
Ross: Ah....
Ross: Um... uh.... vulva.
Ross: (embarrassed) Wha... what, here?
Ross: Joey, please.
Ross: (impressed) Wow.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Sure.
Ross: ....and....
Ross: I, er...
Ross: (wiping his brow) Ah...ooh! Well, looks like, uh, we kicked your butts.
Ross: (rushing to explain) Funny story!
Ross: (panicked) Er.... um.....