words in movies
(Ross enters.)
Ross: Hey, you're not naked! So hey, Rach, when will we expect to see you tonight?
Ross: Bye! Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Yeah, that'll do it.
Ross: I'm, I'm okay.
Ross: Sure, I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out? Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce.
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...
Ross: Yeah? Any names come to mind?
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Monica: Just figured, 'cause you and Ross are...
Joey (gives a thumbs up sign): Okay, okay. Wait till you hear who I got for Ross.
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Ross: Excuse me, is there a woman waiting at the bar? Someone average height, dark hair, perhaps doing a puzzle?
Ross: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.
Ross: Nah, I don't know if I should. I don't wanna be drunk when I go home alone.
Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. It's just a blind date.
Ross: No!
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Ross: Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.
Ross: Wow, free crab cakes. Well, that's nice. Although I was hoping to have sex tonight.
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
Ross: Just the crab cakes.
Ross: What's - what's going on?
Ross: What? You - you're making money off my misery?
Ross: This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
(She walks over to Central Perk and enters to find Ross sitting on the couch, eating crab cakes. She takes off her coat while groaning and shuddering.)
Ross: Hey, what's wrong?
Ross: Oh. Crab cake?
Ross: Well, what happened?
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Ross: I did, too.
Ross: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?
Ross: Why does everyone keep saying that?
Ross: That bad?
Ross: Female body inspector? What size is that?
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Ross: The first date we've had in months, and they were both such disasters.
Ross: Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
(They run down the street with Ross and Rachel following right behind them.)
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Ross: I know. A double blind date, and we both get stood up. What are the chances?
Ross: (perplexed for a moment) Wait a minute... when you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right?
Ross: Thats right!
Ross: (entering) Hello!
(Rachel takes the ball from his hands and bounces it off of Rosss forehead and Chandler catches the rebound.)
Ross: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is sitting on the step drinking a beer as Rachel comes out of the guys apartment.]
[Rachel leaves, and Ross follows her into the hall.]
Ross: No thats not what I want. Uh, Im glad you guys were bonding but I
Ross: Please dont say naked chicks.
Ross: Oh.
Woman At The Wedding: Oh! Of course. (Ross and Chandler pose and she takes the picture.)
Ross: Will you-will you please?
Ross: Just please stop!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
ROSS: Hey, Fun Bobby!
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.]
Ross: Theyre not listening too me?
Rachel: Ugh, Ross! That was not a near death experience! That was barely an experience!
Ross: Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.)
Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just wouldve just stepped aside.
Ross: Yeah Pheebs, come on, you two have completely different styles. Y'know, shes more..(shakes his shoulders, like hes dancing) y'know, and youre more (sees the look from Phoebe and stops)
(Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Joey exit.)
Ross: Youre gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! (Holds up two.)
Ross: I justI-I cant believe shes-shes dating?!
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Ross: Okay. Sometimes I feel
Ross: Huh? Yeah, fine, invite whoever you want.
Ross: (jealous) So, um... where did Paolo come from?
ROSS: Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right.
Monica: Ross!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading a magazine and has two tissues stuck up her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and as she hears Ross enter, she quickly hides her face behind the magazine and removes the tissues.]
Ross: No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel?
Ross: Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?
Ross: Well, I said it loud.
Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.
ROSS: Hey, I didn't know we were, uh, seeing other people.
Ross: (in accent) Right, will you excuse us for one moment? (Takes Monica aside.) (In his normal voice.) What are you doing?
(Rachel laughs a little too hard as Ross and Jill leave for their date. After they have left, Rachel starts to break down.)
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
Rachel: Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!
Ross: Look I told you
Ross: Okay Rach, but
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
[Cut to inside, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
Ross: Maybe hes just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Ross: What?!
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Ross: Oh, come on!
(Ross picks up the bag... then he and the woman kiss.)
Ross: Yeah! Theyre putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channels gonna film it!
ROSS: Um, no, I uh, I have done it before.
Ross: On account of my rage.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: And, I came up with Atlantic City.
Ross: Sweetie, dont worry youll get picked. Chandler.
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Ross: I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's, that's great! I mean...I'm happy for you guys..
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Ross: (in the accent again) Well, hello Rachel!
Ross: All right, bye!
Ross: Yknow, I-Iyouve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?
Ross: Yeah! Right!
Ross: Congratulations. (Gets up to leave.)
Ross: What?
Ross: Yeah?
ROSS: No, no, uh, it's not what you think. It's um the other thing.
Ross: Excuse me?
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the window waving at Ross.]
Ross: Totally. (Exits.)
Ross: Eh, no problem.
Ross: You know what it's fine. If you're okay with the Barbi thing, so am I.
Ross: Unbelievable, my classmates are gonna think I'm dead, my professors, my... my parents are gonna get phone calls. You're messing with people's feelings here.
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Ross are there, discussing what happened last night.]
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: And when we were dating we consummated like bunnies!
Ross: Gentlemen, youre pick.
ROSS: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?
Ross: Well, unless you make some kind of big gesture.
Ross: (to the guys) I gotta go make a fake Ben.
Monica: Okay fine, now Ross
Ross: No, look, uh. You are upset about your father and you're feeling vulnerable and I just don't feel it would be right, I'd feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is looking at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment through binoculars.]
Ross: Its nothing, I just gave her a hug.
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
Ross: (happily again) You were worried about me? You didn't know how I was going to react? (He hugs them both.)
Monica: "Oh my God, I love Ross! I hate Ross! I love Ross! I hate Ross!"
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Chandler: Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Rosss! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!
Ross: No, hi, Im, Im an honorary Brown Bird (does the Brown Bird salute.)