words in movies
(Ross enters.)
Ross: Hey, you're not naked! So hey, Rach, when will we expect to see you tonight?
Ross: Bye! Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Yeah, that'll do it.
Ross: I'm, I'm okay.
Ross: Sure, I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out? Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce.
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...
Ross: Yeah? Any names come to mind?
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Monica: Just figured, 'cause you and Ross are...
Joey (gives a thumbs up sign): Okay, okay. Wait till you hear who I got for Ross.
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Ross: Excuse me, is there a woman waiting at the bar? Someone average height, dark hair, perhaps doing a puzzle?
Ross: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.
Ross: Nah, I don't know if I should. I don't wanna be drunk when I go home alone.
Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. It's just a blind date.
Ross: No!
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Ross: Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.
Ross: Wow, free crab cakes. Well, that's nice. Although I was hoping to have sex tonight.
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
Ross: Just the crab cakes.
Ross: What's - what's going on?
Ross: What? You - you're making money off my misery?
Ross: This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
(She walks over to Central Perk and enters to find Ross sitting on the couch, eating crab cakes. She takes off her coat while groaning and shuddering.)
Ross: Hey, what's wrong?
Ross: Oh. Crab cake?
Ross: Well, what happened?
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Ross: I did, too.
Ross: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?
Ross: Why does everyone keep saying that?
Ross: That bad?
Ross: Female body inspector? What size is that?
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Ross: The first date we've had in months, and they were both such disasters.
Ross: Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
(They run down the street with Ross and Rachel following right behind them.)
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Ross: I know. A double blind date, and we both get stood up. What are the chances?
Ross: So, how dark is it gonna get?
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, maybe this whole heart attack thing is a sign, that-that you should start think about getting a different job.
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Ross: (Still yelling) I Know!
Ross: No! I balanced my checkbook.
ROSS: I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
Ross: Which... which... which... Which one is it?
Ross: OH! SON OF A BITCH!
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
(Ross walks to the door and opens it.)
(Ross closes the door)
Ross: No.
Ross: Oh, I thought you guys had just been on like four dates, I didnt realise that had become anything, yet.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Oh, not another one! Oh my G... And this is moisturiser. It's even harder to clean! Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ross, Rachel and Chandler: Hey!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: (he enters) Hey guys!
Ross: Ah, and where is Joey?
Ross: That's the hope! So, is Emma awake yet?
Ross: Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World After All.'
Ross: When they see this you'll be 52!
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Phoebe how to ride her bike.]
Ross: Yeah, I need uh Im justI dont knowI dont understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom.
Monica: Is he crazy?! You just had Rosss baby!
(Joey gives him the okay symbol, and Ross rushes towards him to be stopped by Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes over to the snack table as some guy, which turns out to be Ursula's fianc�e Eric, walks in and smacks her butt.)
Ross: Oh, great!
Ross: Ok. (browsing the apartment) Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about bein' a lesbian.
Ross: Amazing... amazing.
Ross: Thank you so much for that gift!
Ross: (Watching Marcel and talking to Rachel) I wanted this to work so much. I mean I'm still in there, changing his diapers, pickin' his fleas... but he's just phoning it in. Just so hard to accept the fact that something you love so much doesn't love you back.
Ross: Yknow this is actually not a great time for me.
Ross: Sure.
(Ross, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen area)
Phoebe: So! Ross doesnt really decorate his tree with floss, but you dont hear him complaining do you? God! (Phoebe hits her guitar which wakes up Ross with a start.)
(The phone rings, Ross picks up)
Ross: Joey! You're in charge, ok? You make sure nobody leaves! (leaves)
Ross (stops recording): Ok, cut! Great. That was... that was just... yeah!
Ross: Look at you two, bonding, making us late for the airport so
Chandler: (aside, to Ross) What!? They are totally ripping us off!
Ross: You're right. There isn't a decent outlet.
Ross: Yeah, well... I think I know how to dazzle him.
Ross: Oh wow! I mean, wow! I mean, I-I-I think shes cute but I-I would never have thought of going out with her, never!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
Ross: RACHEL!
Ross: Yeah?
Chandler: (To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door. Ill be in the closet.
Ross: (sarcastically) I can't believe they gave you a ticket. You're such a good driver.
Ross: Rach, she's not going to remember this.
Ross: Mississippilesly? (pause) Well, how bad is it?
Ross: (looks back at the cake) Hey!
Joey: So, did you bring a little something for Ross?
Ross: It's not bad.
Rachel: Well, there is one thing that we havent tried, but someone thinks that, (mimicking Ross) "That will open up a can of worms."
Ross: (recognizing her) Oh my God! Rachel Green?
Phoebe: Hey, are Ross and Rachel back?
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Joey: (to Ross and Rachel) I've been here the whole time!
(Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: What's wrong? Are you okay?
Ross: Okay, you ready?
[Scene: Professor Sherman's office, Ross is relating to Professor Sherman]
[Scene: Ross, Charlie and Professor Spafford are sitting at the table in a restaurant]
Ross: (surprised) Oh... (he pauses) (sounds disappointed) Ohh... I'd love to but I really have to grade these papers.
Ross: Damnit!
Ross: (Writing on the papers) B, B, B, B, B!
Ross: Hey...
Ross: (he opens the door) Hi Amy!
(Ross enters the apartment with Amy)
Ross: Well, it had some good ideas, take off your shirt.
Ross: (gives up) Yes, yes, you did.
Ross: Ehm... Her name is Emma.
Joey: What? No! No Ross! No-no! Stop! Im not jumping! Okay, look I have an audition tomorrow and I cant go if I break my leg.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh my God!
Ross: Why don't you use your Thesaurus?
Ross: What... what you working on?
Ross: Okay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang.
Ross: Uhh, yes I did but there isn't. Okay, here we go.
Ross: Oh nice tan!
[Scene: Joey’s Apartment. Ross is filming his parents ]
Monica: He was in Rosss class marching band kinda overweight? Well, really overweight. I mean I was his thin friend.
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Ross: Do you perhaps seeing a note on top of it?
Ross: (embarassed) Me neither.
Ross: Look, this is hard enough! I really need you guys right now.
Ross: Seriously?
Joey: Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job!
Ross: Well, do you wanna marry him?
Ross: No, I barely even got to three Mississippi.
Ross: Um, I do not want her baby-sitting our child.
Ross: I don't think that's what this is.
Ross: I... I don't know..
Ross: I loved this place! To tell you the truth, I wish I didn't have to move.