words in movies
[Scene: A street, Ross and Emily are walking home from a date.]
Ross: No, its really not that bad. I mean, I-I for one, feel perfectly safe.
Ross: Help! Help!! Help! Help!!
Emily: No, no, no Ross! Ross, these are friends of mine from home. (Introducing them) Liam, Devon, this is Ross.
Ross: Oh hey, that was a good one, huh? (Imitating himself) Help! Help!
Emily: Oh, Liam. (Ross laughs and takes her back.)
Ross: Oh, Liam. So uh, what, were you guys playing soccer or somethingor should I call it (In an English accent) football?
Emily: (laughs) Ross play rugby? I dont think so.
Ross: Whats ah, whats so funny about that?
Ross: Well, we didnt have freedom here until 1776, either so
Ross: Cheers!
(Liam and Devon both take a swig of their beers, while Ross takes a swig of his coffee. The Brits both crush their cans, and not to be out done, Ross crushes his coffee cup, spilling its contents.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: Oh, just hold on a second. Im watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I dont know what the big deal is. Im man enough to play this sport.
Janice: (entering) Hey there Ross!
Ross: (shocked) Hey!
Phoebe: (whispering to Ross) Janice.
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Ross: Hey, I can handle it! All right?
Rachel: Please, Ross, you-you got hurt playing badminton with my dad.
Ross: Thats cause-cause youre moms dog kept-kept looking at me.
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Ross: And is a hum, kinda like a scruddle?
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Ross: Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So Im gonna show her how tough I really am!
Rachel: (starts laughing, Ross stares at her) Im sorry. Im sorry. Youre right, you are a tough guy. Youre the toughest palaeontologist I know.
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Ross: They dont look any bigger than me!
Ross: All right.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Ross: Youll see.
Emily: Liam, do me a favour. Tell the lads to go easy on Ross, its his first time.
Liam: You dont say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
Emily: (to Ross) Good luck, babe.
Liam: Ross! Ross! Come on! Get in here! (Ross gets pumped up.) Ross! Come on!
(Ross walks over to the scrum, walks around a bit looking for a way to get into the scrum.)
Liam: Ross, come on! Get in the bloody scrum! Ross, get in!
(Ross, urged on by his team-mates, jumps on top of the scrum and falls headfirst into the middle, leaving his feet sticking straight up.)
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
[Scene: The rugby game, Ross is getting killed.]
(Ross limps over all covered in mud.)
Ross: Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!
Ross: (to Emily) Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water?
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Tell my son that I love him. (Emily returns with the water.) Excellent! Well, okay, I gotta have some more fun!
Emily: Ross, they are killing you out there!
Ross: (whines "No.") Thats not true!
Ross: What? No! No, Im not stopping. Im Red Ross!
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Ross: I dont care! I am not quitting! I insist on finishing this game!
Ross: No, God no! That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything.
Ross: I like that.
Ross: Huh?
Ross: All right, bad ankle, got it!
Ross: Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay!
Ross: But-but, Liams on my team.
Ross: Im gonna go get him! Okay, I am going back in! (Squeals like a madman.)
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Ross: Oh no! That-thatll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Yknow what? Im buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, its in my pocket.
Ross: No, not you. (Emily gets it.)
Phoebe: Ooh, ice! I am so in the mood for ice! (They go and get the coffee and the ice leaving Ross and Emily alone.)
Ross: Oh, I kinda was, wasnt I?
Ross: I made a man twice my size cry. I mean, I havent done that since I was four and I washed my dads Porsche with rocks.
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
Ross: No, no, Im serious. Thank you.
Ross: Its worth the pain. (She goes to hug him again.) Yknow what, you know what? Its not.
Rachel: (laughs) I cannot believe Ross is buying this!
Ross: W-What was the one right before bananas?
Ross: Uhh, not much. You guys want to see a movie tonight?
[Cut to Chandler and Joey's, Ross is seen throwing the ball into the bathroom, presumably where Joey is currently using the facilities.]
Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What kind of problem?
Ross: You kissed her.
Ross: Please, he refers to me as wethead.
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Ross: Why does anyone have to be naked?
Ross: Phoebe! I can't believe you gave them money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money!
Ross: All right, see you guys. (starts to leave)
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
(Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
Ross: What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasnt expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasnt expecting to like anyone right now, but shes really terrific.
Ross: Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
(Ross and Julie exit)
Ross: Yeah. You can help me get my furniture back from Gunther.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: You like it?
Ross: Well, Im not going to go now anyway (he goes to sit down).
Ross: Why did you do that?
Ross: Hey!
Ross: You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
(Just as they are about to pull away, a big, fat, bald guy pulls up in the exact same car as Ross and stops next to him.)
Ross: Rachel, come on. Give us a chance.
Ross: I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Ross: Oh, come on! Rach, it's-it's not that bad.
Phoebe: oh, well, Ross probably has it, you can get it from him later.
Ross: We said it was only going to be two weeks, yknow?
Ross: (flailing arms in protest) Oh, hey hey hey, ho ho ho, hello, guy who doesn't want to know, standing right here!
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
Ross: (runs out of cards) We need more cards.
Ross: (glaring at Rachel) Fascinating.
Ross: All right, Ill do it.
Ross: She does want to.
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
Ross: Look, we do not repel women OK? That is completely untrue.
Rachel: Well then honey, buy the lamp! Hey, we have that 60 bucks from Ross.
Ross: So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
Ross: Its my new apothecary table!
Ross: Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Ross: I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15.
Joey: You could say: "Hey Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?" (looks at Ross matter-of-factly)
Ross: What?
Ross: What?
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Ross: Hey, tell Dan, Thanks.
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Ross: Its my joke.
Ross: Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
Dr. Leedbetter: Umm, Ross. May I have a word with you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, and the girls are dividing some Chinese takeout, while the sitcom Family Matters is playing on the TV.]
Ross: Did you get Monica's authorization to move all of her stuff?
Ross: So, Rach, y'know-y'know how Emily's coming right?
Ross: Ok, I'll be home right after work. Ok, by Emma-Wemma-Demma, I love you - wovyou dovyou ...
Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel)
Phoebe: Ross, where did you get this?!
Ross: Okay, you go grab it!
Ross: Emily's cousin kicked me out!
Ross: Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.
(Ross begins to say something, realizes what Gunther just said, turns, and glares at Chandler. Chandler just shrugs it off.)
(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
Ross: Fine, Im mentally unstable.
Ross: Theres nothing the matter with me. See, Im not completely devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings.
Ross: Dude, what am I gonna
Ross: Wow! I didnt know that there was a Pottery Barn up here.
Ross: Joey, seriously, can I get my coffee?
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Its my joke.
ROSS: Oh. Listen, have you ever been uh, you know, foolin' around with a girl and uh, she started laughin'?
Joey: (in baby-like voice) How come you don't live with Mommy? (pause; shows Ross less than amused) How come Mommy lives with that other lady? (pause; Ross still looks less than amused; Joey smiling) What's a lesbian? (playfully hits Ross)
Ross: Hey Mon.
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Ross: Okay. (to Rachel) Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?
Ross: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!
Ross: Its your joke.
Ross: Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man.
Ross: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That theres nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Ross: No way.
Ross: Hey uh, well, todays my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?
(Joey, Chandler and Ross enter.)
Monica and Ross: Sure.
Ross: Hey!
ROSS: Well, this was fun. Uh, we should really do it again sometime, wha'dya say? Ok. Alright so I've got him.
Ross: See, I would never snap at you like that.
Ross: (to Joey, who is wearing a blue, 3 foot hand) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! (takes it off his hand and throws it on the floor)