words in movies
Joey: Hey, so, uh, hows it going living over at Ross?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
Ross: Uh, Im going to take off.
Ross: What is it?
Ross: All right. (reading the label) Candy and Cookie?
Ross: Hey, whats behind your back?
Ross: You dont want my opinion?
Ross: Come on, Im your older brother, ask me!
Ross: (quietly) The red one.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is sitting on the couch reading a magazine as Mona enters.]
Ross: Hey! (they hug) So, how was Atlantic City?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
Ross: I do too! I missed you!
Ross: Oh, it was good! It was good. Actually, the baby started kicking!
Ross: Yeah! I know! It was. Oh the only sad thing is I wasnt around when it happened for the first time.
Ross: Yeah, Im missing out on all this other stuff, too. So, Joey suggested Rachel move in with me.
Ross: What?
Ross: (not amused) Huh uh-huh.
(Ross fake laughs, obviously not finding this funny, and hes starting to panic, so he shoves the whole saltwater taffy hes eating in his mouth)
Ross: (with his mouth full) Just a second! (he fake laughs, but turns his head and starts to break down)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
Ross: I dont know, she seemed to think it was such a crazy idea! Um, plus, she, uh, she got me taffy!
Ross: Ever?!
Phoebe: Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. (Ross hands her one) Thank you! So what, youre just never going to tell her?
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Joey: So, between her and me being friends, and her history with Ross, it just isnt going to happen. It would be like you falling in love with a cat.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels I guess I have to call it that now. Rachel is reading on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: Well, Im, uh, going to pick up Mona. What have you got going tonight?
Ross: Yknow, its interesting! Most people think thats made with seawater, when in fact
Rachel: Ross, we actually watched the documentary together.
Ross: (opening the door to see Mona standing there) Mona? What arehi! What are you doing here? Im, um, supposed to pick you up!
Ross: (he makes some really weird noise hear that sounds kind of like )Ayyyayyyy!
Mona: Hi! Hi. Hi, Rachel! (to Ross) Whats she doing here?
Ross: I have no idea!
Ross: Uh lately, she just likes hanging out here.
Ross: I think shes lonely.
Ross: I know.
Ross: No, no. Shes way to emotional. And by emotional I mean crazy.
Ross: Mm-hmm. Shesshes emotional, but, but ballsy.
Ross: And you thought she was going to be in our way! So, why dont you, uh, open the champagne, and Ill be right back. Ive got a surprise for you.
Ross: (fakes a laugh) Please start drinking! (exits)
Mona: No, no. Listen, Ross is too nice to say anything, but this is his apartment, and, and, we gotta have some boundaries, so why dont you go back to your place and give us some privacy?
Rachel: (as Ross enters with a present) But, but, Mona, I live here.
Ross: (handing Mona the present) Happy Valentines Day! Or something to remember me by.
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Im so sorry to barge in on your Valentines, but I had to get away from all the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross.
Chandler: Poor Ross.
(Monica and Chandler both look at each other and run over to the window to watch the action in Ross apartment)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee as Joey comes from God knows where! Some back area of Central Perk around the corner that weve never seen! Weeeiiirrrddd .]
Ross: Hey, hey, man!
Ross: Uh Mona just dumped me.
Ross: Well, with everything thats been going on lately, I havent exactly been the perfect boyfriend. You know, I, uh, I didnt tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment, and then had the locks changed! And then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me. In a way, I actually judge her for not breaking up with me sooner, you know?
Ross: Yeah. Wait a minute. What are you doing here? Joey Tribbiani without a date on Valentines Day? Whats going on, huh? Girl trouble?
Ross: Really?!
Ross: Oh, sorry. Well, look, maybe I can help you with it.
Ross: Hey, whatever it is, I am sure it has happened to me. Yknow, actually onceonce I got dumped during sex.
(Two girls sitting at a table next to them look up in disgust, and Ross and Joey move away)
Ross: Anyway, so, uh, so what is it?
Ross: Cmon! Joey! What is it?
Ross: Hey, hey, its me. Why cant you tell me?
Ross: Shes not a Tribbiani?
Ross: I knew it. So, is she someone from work?
Ross: Well, uh, does she like you?
Ross: Why not?
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he still in love with her?
Ross: Okay. Um is he a good guy?
Ross: Then talk to him! He might be fine with it.
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself.
Gunther: (placing a cup in front of Ross) Heres your warm milk.
Ross: Im going to uh Im going to, um, put the bourbon in it at home.
Ross: Anyway seriously, uh just just talk to the guy, okay? And tell me how it goes. (walks towards the door until )
(Ross just stands in the doorway, for like a minute Ahh! Whats going to happen next??!!! I cant make it all the way through the Olympics!!!)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels. Rachel is standing in front of the TV holding a video.]
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Ross: So, I got us some reservations for Sunday night, okay? How about, Ernies at 9 oclock?
Ross: Yeah, I ate all my gifts for everybody.
Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Knicks season opener tonight. I thought maybe you guys would come over and watch it.
Ross: Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I...
Ross: And she's a little mannish...
Ross: Uh, unless! Unless, uh this lady wouldnt mind letting you go first.
ROSS: Well, well, they're good.� It's been a while since I've seen you like this.� You, you clean up good.
Joey: Come on! Itll be fun! Me, you, and Ross, and Paul probably
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
Rachel: I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits)
Ross: Oh yeah, how about you and the, (mimics her fake cry) "Im sorry!"
Ross: No, Im good. (He sits down, stunned.)
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail next to him) Hey!
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
Ross: Im telling you, just a little bit at a time.
Monica: Ross has never checked out of a room a minute before he had to.
Ross: Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.
Ross: Oh, Pheebs, Im sorry, Ive got to go. Ive got Lamaze class.
Chandler: Get ready to run. (Chandler walks over to the new bride.) Congratulations on your wedding. (He grabs her, kisses her, Ross takes the picture, and they both run out.)
Ross: All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won!
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
Ross: 11, unbelievable, 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.)
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
Ross: (a little confused) Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby.
Ross: Oh Im, Im making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
Ross: Hey, wait! Wait-wait-wait! Joey, did you propose to her?
Joey: (to Ross, mouthing) Don't make me come up there!
Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at all?
Ross: What, that we had a baby? Come on lets give him a little credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.
Ross: Uh, double latte, extra foam.
Ross: Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment?
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
Ross: You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas.
ROSS: I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do stand up and shout 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'
(Ross shuts off the CD player. Marcel runs into the bedroom and slams the door.)
Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino. (Hands it to him.)
Ross: (interrupts him again) Okay, it's not a contest.
Ross: Umm, jealous! (He drops the cherry and it turns on.)
Chandler: I know. (He rubs Rosss head)
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
(Ross is shocked, but Rachel drags him out of the office.)
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Rachel: Yeah, actually Daddy Ross is allergic to lobster.
Ross: Well yeah! Someone sent us a basket at work once and people went crazy over those little muffins. It was the best day.
Ross: (to his hands) Way to go guys. Yknow, you-you were really good at the stuff too.
Ross: now I feel terrible this is all my fault.
Ross: Just can't believe I'm in Rachel Green's room.
Ross: That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you.
(Rachel looks at Ross and her agrees silently)
Ross: No, we-we're gonna be like best friends, that's why it's gonna be weird.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Ross: Correct, his profession was?
Gunther: (to Ross) Thanks for not marrying Rachel. (He starts to leave.)
(Ross turns his back on Paul and makes a I hate that guy face. Paul does the same thing.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Ross: But-but Cailin, he definitely will scream.
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
Ross: yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.
Ross: And I too am just a love machine. (Hums a little bit and mimics Pauls flexing.)
Ross: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
ROSS: No, no, wait, ok, ok, look at the other side. Look at Julie's column.
Mr. Geller: I just wish Nana were alive to hear Rosss toast.
Ross: Do you realise we almost made it ten years without that coming up?
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
Ross: Uhh, believe me when hes older, hell understand.
(As Ross opens the lid, everybody looks at the mess inside.)
Ross: Oh, you know what? You're gonna get it. I-I-I-I can feel it.
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Phoebe: Wow. So, okay, maybe that means that, youre not over Ross yet and you have issues with your father.
Ross: Well then well-well see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (Theyre sitting by the window.) What-what what you guys doing here?!
Ross: You know what? I know Chandler longer, so I always think of him as my best friend, but now... I may have to rethink some stuff...
Minister: I think wed better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross
Ross: (covering his eyes) Dude! That's my sister! (She shows the rest of the gang.)
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Ross: Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack.
Rachel: What? (Joey starts offering Ross some turkey.) Oh yknow what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck!
Ross: I need juice! People need juice!!
[Scene: A Doctor's Office, Ross is having his thing looked at by Dr. Rhodes.]
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
ROSS: No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is.
Rachel: But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. (Ross looks at her) All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, Ill love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
Ross: He couldn't even tell me! He said it was just some sort of skin... abnormality. And the worst thing is he-he-he said, he said, without being able to identify it, he was reluctant to remove it.
Ross: Oh my God. Oh my God! And youre-youre youre not freaking out?
Rachel: Ross, shes not weird, she just wants her stuff to be one of a kind.
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
(The message is finished. Ross jumps over to the answering machine.)
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
ROSS: You mean hardball?
Ross: I cannot believe we're having this conversation.
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.