words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone except Ross is there watching Days of Our Lives.]
[Ross enters]
ROSS: I'm sorry I'm late, what happened?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
ROSS: Well, we should probably get going.
ROSS: My baby sister, ladies and gentlemen.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]
ROSS: G'night.
ROSS: Tell me about it. So what, what's your magic number?
ROSS: C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
ROSS: Better not be doin' these in order.
ROSS: Oh yes, the weenie from Torrini.
ROSS: Really?
[Ross and Rachel are in Rachel's bedroom]
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
ROSS: Oh, hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea, why don't you invite Paulo over and have a little romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes.
RACHEL: God, Ross, look, what you and I have is special, all Paolo and I ever had was...
ROSS: Animal sex, animal sex? So what're you saying, I mean, you're saying that like, there's nothing between us animal at all. I mean there's not even like, uhm, a little animal, not even, not even like, like chipmunk sex?
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
ROSS: Knock-knock.
ROSS: Until now. [jumps on Rachel on the bed]
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
ROSS: Good, good, good. So, is uh, was your moustache, did, used to be different?
ROSS: Oh. How do you uh, ya know, keep it so neat?
ROSS: Oh. And what do you call that?
ROSS: So were you in Nam?
ROSS: No, no way. You've got it totally the other way around my friend. John Voit was...
ROSS: What, what oh....[Ross and Rachel go into her room]
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: No. [sound of Dr. Remore's body hitting the bottom of the shaft] Now maybe.
ROSS: C'mon.
ROSS: Open up. We want to talk to you.
ROSS: How could you not tell us?
[Ross comes out of Rachel's bedroom in her bathrobe and heads for the bathroom. On his way back, Richard comes out of Monica's bedroom in her bathrobe.]
ROSS: Hey.
ROSS: Hey.
ROSS: Oh man.
ROSS: You got it.
[Scene: Central Perk, I'm sure you've guessed, it's the famous fight scene between Ross and Rachel.]
Ross: Chandlers gonna ask Monica to marry him!
Ross: Hey-hey Pheebs!
Ross: Yeah, you didnt get one.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly!
Ross: What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.
JULIE: Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um....
Rachel: (To Ross) Fine! (To the salesman) We went out.
Ross: Okay, Mon, I really don't think this is the... Okay, you're dialing, you are dialing.
Monica: Ross theyre really, really, really white.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: I dont know.
Ross: Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys.
Ross: Ohh. (He drops the shoes, takes the brush from her, and licks the tip. He doesnt like how it tastes.)
Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... (Ross stands up)
Ross: Yeah, yeah you have the ring?
Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
Ross: Yeah, It's just... I don't think I can do this...
Ross: So weird to see all these people again... Oh my God, look, there's Geoffrey Cleric.
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Ross: (stands up) Thats great! Are you happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form!
Ross: Huh. Yknow whats not one of a kind? A twin!
Ross: Ahh, no, Im good.
Ross: (sounds excited) Hi you guys! what's going on, you... you guys wanna hang out...or...? (Looks around the room nervously) do you...do you guys hear a buzzing?
Ross: Whats-whats going on?
Ross: It-its great to meet you Paul.
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams down the phone)
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Ross: No! Okay! Okay! (Stops her.) Okay, look, can I, can I just-just talk to you for a second?
Ross: What?! What? How do you, how do you even know its broken?!
Ross: They published my paper.
Ross: My apothecary table!!!
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Ross: But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..?
Ross: Who?
(Ross and Joey urge Chandler to tell Rachel.)
Joey: Ross, you dont have to yell.
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
Ross: Hmm.
Ross: Hey, I know whatll get us up on a platform!
Joey: (to Ross) Just get in there and make a face to face apology, you know? Look them in the eye. I know I can get them to forgive us.
Ross: Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.
ROSS: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I,I almost broke your hand.
Ross: Oh, it's-it's Marcel. He keeps shutting me out, y'know? He's walking around all the time dragging his hands...
Ross: Well then a small one!! Listen, lets, we kinda have to get going!
Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are having dinner.]
Ross: and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor would expand its collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten its predator. (A student raises his hand.) Yes Mr. Lewis?
Ross: What?!
Ross: Okay, go left. Left! Left! (The bottom of the couch is hitting the railing.)
Ross: Elizabeth, thank God! I was just thinking about
Elizabeth: (sticking her head out her window) Ross! Wait!
Ross: Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!
[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]
Ross: Did you see the look that girl just gave me? Huh? She mustve seen me cruising in the bad boy.
Ross: Of course, of course, Mr. Stevens.
Ross: Uh no-no, she-shes out for the night.
Rachel: Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...
Ross: You- uh- y'know what, I'm gonna go. I don't- I don't think I can be involved in this particular thing right now.
Ross: (with his mouth full) Just a second! (he fake laughs, but turns his head and starts to break down)
Ross: Fighting?!
Ross: (realizes something) The photo album! There were millions of pictures of the apartment in the photo album. We just go through it and match everything to the pictures.
Ross: Hey, come on in.
Ross: Rach!
Ross: What happened you guys?
Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe: Hey, Mon.
[Scene: San Diego Zoo. Ross is at the Monkey cages.]
Ross: Phoebe.
Ross: I guess so.
Ross: Ohh, I dont think so.
Ross: Right. Ohh! You-you want me to be your backup.
Ross: Ohh, yeah I already have one.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Phoebe, how could you do this to me?!
Ross: Oh come on, not again.
Ross: I was not!
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Ross: All right.
Ross: Hey, whatd you guys do to get up on there?
Ross: Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? (Points) This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
Phoebe: (reading) Ross!
Elizabeth: So uh, Monica is Rosss sister.
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Phoebe: Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isnt here!
Ross: Hey, whats going on?
Ross: Whats up?
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Ross: Where is she?
Ross: Are you sure shes in the cat, or have you been taking your grandmas glycoma medicine again?
Ross: Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing. (Rachel gives him a dirty look) Nothing, just, just, I'm fine.
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Ross: What? What? Was that a joke? 'Cause it's mean.
(Ross exits, a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Thanks.