words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Joey: Two it is. Ross, how about you?
Ross: Uh, yeah, I ah, I also need two.
Ross: Uh, no, its-its just this person.
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
Ross: All right, Ill see you tonight.
(Ross exits)
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, Rachel is already there with her date, Tommy who's played by Ben Stiller who will be in There's Something About Mary and Meet The Parents, as Ross and his date, Cailin, arrive.]
Ross: Hey, hey Rach!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Good.
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
Ross: Yay!!
Rachel: Oh! Tommy, this is Ross. Ross, Tommy.
Ross: Hey. Oh, Im sorry, this is Cailin.
(They all try and shake hands at once. They end up criss-crossing theyre arms to shake each others hand, and Ross says )
Ross: And! Break!!
Ross: Okay. (The girls leave.) (to Tommy) So uh, well, this-this is uh, this is awkward.
Ross: Well y'know cause Rachel and I used to go out.
Ross: Oh! Well then this is awkward. So what do you uh
Ross: Oh! Yeah.
Ross: Okay. (sees two people sitting in their seats.) Uh, huh. Excuse me, Im sorry, I-I think you may be in our seats.
Ross: (looking at ticket) Yep! Yeah, see this says D-13, and uh
Tommy: Oh! Oh! The usher must be right! What, with all that training they go through! Get out!! (They start to leave.) Here! (He throws him back his ticket.) (to Ross, calmly) Hey man, you want the aisle?
Ross: No, Im good. (He sits down, stunned.)
Ross: (drags Chandler over to buffet table) Im telling you, this guy Rachel is with is crazy! Okay? He viscously screamed at total strangers! I think hes baaad news!
Cailin: (to Ross) Hi! Remember me?
Ross: Hi! Yeah! Tommys in line for the bathroom and someone just cut in front of him, I think hes gonna snap. (Hes watching very intently)
Cailin: Ross, Im gonna go.
Ross: Go? Why?
Ross: But-but Cailin, he definitely will scream.
Cailin: Good bye Ross.
Ross: Uh, oh-ho bye.
Ross: One.
Ross: Look. Look, I wasnt going to say anything to you, but... All right, I dont think you should be seeing Tommy anymore.
Ross: No! The guy is mean. I mean really mean. I think you should stay away from him.
Ross: No, its not just cause Im jealous. (Both Monica and Chandler give him a Come on look) I mean Im not, Im not, Im not jealous, okay? Its Look, the guy, he screamed, he actually screamed at this couple sitting in our seats.
Ross: Okay, fine, fine. You dont want to believe me? No, thats fine. (starts to leave)
Chandler: Ross, dont. Ross!
Monica; Ross!
Ross: You dont want to believe me, Im Mr. Funny to you. Mr. Funny (turns around and almost spills his coffee on Tommy)
Ross: Whoa, sorry Tommy.
Tommy: Whats in the cup, Ross?
Ross: Umm
Ross: Okay, its coffee.
Ross: Its-its hot
[cut to inside Central Perk, we see Ross quietly tapping on the window, desperately trying to get the gangs attention, while Tommy is still screaming at him]
Rachel: (not seeing Ross) Whats your favourite thing about summertime?
Tommy: (entering, finished with yelling at Ross, who follows him in shell shocked) (happily) Hey!
(Ross is having a fit, about how calm Tommy is now)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Ross: (coming out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee, almost running into Tommy) Oh-ho, whoa! Sorry, Tommy. I almost spilled this hot coffee on you.
Ross: No, but its-its-its hot!
Rachel: Ross, would you just stop it! Its getting really old.
Ross: I cant believe no one believes me!
Ross: You do Pheebs?
Ross: Phoebe, 800 is toll free, 801 is-is Utah.
Ross: Phoebe! (They hug.)
[Scene: The casino, Ross and Rachel are entering.]
Ross: What?
Ross: Hey, you wet my pants!
Ross: (to Gary) That was so cool man, the way you leaned on that guy.
Ross: What?!
Ross: Joey!!
Ross: Uh-hmm.
Ross: Your what?
Ross: (To Joey) Thanks man.
ROSS: God, that was, that was amazing, that was incredible. You guys, you guys kicked butt.
Ross: Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie.
Ross: Rain? Hi. Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat.
Ross: I'm familiar with his work, yes...
Ross: All right, I just wanted to check.
Ross: Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so...
Ross: Why is it inside out?!
Ross: Okay, there was some staring and pointing.
Ross: (looking at the price list) Umm Wow! That's-that's some pricey nut!
Ross: Nobody likes change.
Rachel: Okay. Okay fine, yknow what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. (Ross enters.) (In a sexy voice.) Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie.
Ross: Well, she wore it all Christmas day, and then uh
Ross: Hey, howd the date go with Mr. Millionaire?
Ross: You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there!Hey come with me!
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Ross: I don�t know, are we just kissing guys on balconies?
Ross: (Chuckling) Hmm-Hmm.
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Ross: I, uh, I'll go see. (He goes in)
Ross: In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us. Eh, y'know what, better yet? A week.
Ross: Later! (Exits.)
Ross: Relax, Ill fix it.
Ross: Well hello! I'm Ross!
Ross: The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood.
Rachel: Ross, I don't, I just don't think it's going to fit.
Ross: (he puts it in his mouth) Nope! Something else. (Throws it back under the bed.)
Ross: No, I cant. I would, I really would, but my son is here; I cant leave him. Isntyou dont think theres any way?
Ross: (to Rachel) You see what men do! Dont tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!
Ross: Well, Im gonna go see her. I want to bring her something, what do you think shell like?
Ross: Wait a minute! No! Im the nice one! Im the one who danced with the kids all night! How How small are your feet?! (They all look down.)
Ross: Oh well. It probably wouldve been the most constructive solution.
Ross: Y'know, last night was embarrassing for you too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
(Ross throws his hands out in a What are you doing? gesture)
Ross: Thanks, I put a lot of extra thoughts on your gift.
Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.)
Ross: Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out.
Ross: My foot is stuck in the pocket.
Ross: So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?
Ross: So, Dr. Green, hows the old boat.
Ross: (checks) Yeah.
Ross: Why are we in bed together?
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Ross: And we didnt have sex.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, how's it going?
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyones attention please? Im uh; Im Ross Geller.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What?
Ross: Yeah!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
(Rachel turns to Ross stunned.)
Ross: What?
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Burt: (another professor) Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! (Ross frantically starts to change some as a female student, Elizabeth, approaches.)
Ross: Yeah? Sometimes it's (Does the fist thing.)
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
Ross: Okay! Ho-ho! We did not steal your thunder because we are not getting back together!
Ross and Rachel: Goodnight.
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing?
Ross: Seriously that's a lot of cups.
Ross: Yes, exactly!
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Are you sure? Because I can stay out as late as you want. I told you how I'm on sabbatical from work, right?
Rachel: Ohh wow! Im sorry, but Ross you kicked off your shoes!
Ross: What?! Over a stupid room!
(Ross turns and leaves.)
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Ross: Oh no, yeah no, that parts great!
Ross: A loser you did it with (To the salesman) 298 times!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Is that funny? Am I supposed to be laughing?
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Ross: Come on. (Helps her into bed as her phone rings.) I got it.
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
Ross: I know.
Phoebe: Ross?!
Ross: So uh, any ideas for the bachelor party yet?
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Monica: Ross, we can handle this.