words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Ross: What's going on?
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Ross: Oh God, here we go!
Ross: Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's she like freaks out. Watch! Watch! (He takes his finger and moves it towards his eye.)
Rachel: (flinches) Ross! Come on! That's all right! Fine--Okay, I have a weird thing about my eye. Can we not talk about it please?
Ross: Hey, does anybody want to get some lunch? All those in favor say I? (Pokes his eye)
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Ross: All right, I gotta go. I'm taking Ben to the park.
Ross: All right, bye!
Ross: Later! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Uh, it's a piece of paper and it says, "Ross" on it.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Uhh, not much. You guys want to see a movie tonight?
Ross: I don't know, umm
Ross: What's with her?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Action.
(Ross pauses and looks at him, Joey motions for him to hurry up.)
Ross: Dude, you are sick.
Joey: Man, I wish Ross was coming with us! Y'know? I'm gonna miss him!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15.
Ross: All right!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Ross: Well, I don't know.
Ross: Well, whatever it is I'm-I'm very, very sorry. Okay?
Ross: Okay. So we're, we're good?
Ross: All right. (Gets up.) I'll uh, I'll see you later, okay?
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Ross: Well if you can't remember, can't we just forget about this?
(Ross isn't sure what to do with that comment.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Ross: Okay, are you mad at me because my hair gel smells?
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
Ross: Yeah? Sometimes it's (Does the fist thing.)
Ross: Okay, I'm the baby. (Points at his eye.)
Ross: Hey!
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
Ross: What do you like better flora or fauna?
Ross: Who would you rather be Simon or Garfunkle?
Ross: Why are you mad at me?
Ross: When did I say you were boring?!
Ross: Phoebe! You and I have never played chess!
Ross: Hey Rach, can you pass me the TV Guide?
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Ross: So, I got us some reservations for Sunday night, okay? How about, Ernies at 9 oclock?
Ross: Yeah, I ate all my gifts for everybody.
Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Knicks season opener tonight. I thought maybe you guys would come over and watch it.
Ross: Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I...
Ross: And she's a little mannish...
Ross: Uh, unless! Unless, uh this lady wouldnt mind letting you go first.
ROSS: Well, well, they're good.� It's been a while since I've seen you like this.� You, you clean up good.
Joey: Come on! Itll be fun! Me, you, and Ross, and Paul probably
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
Rachel: I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits)
Ross: Oh yeah, how about you and the, (mimics her fake cry) "Im sorry!"
Ross: No, Im good. (He sits down, stunned.)
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail next to him) Hey!
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
Ross: Im telling you, just a little bit at a time.
Monica: Ross has never checked out of a room a minute before he had to.
Ross: Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.
Ross: Oh, Pheebs, Im sorry, Ive got to go. Ive got Lamaze class.
Chandler: Get ready to run. (Chandler walks over to the new bride.) Congratulations on your wedding. (He grabs her, kisses her, Ross takes the picture, and they both run out.)
Ross: All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won!
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
Ross: 11, unbelievable, 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.)
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
Ross: (a little confused) Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby.
Ross: Oh Im, Im making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
Ross: Hey, wait! Wait-wait-wait! Joey, did you propose to her?
Joey: (to Ross, mouthing) Don't make me come up there!
Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at all?
Ross: What, that we had a baby? Come on lets give him a little credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.
Ross: Uh, double latte, extra foam.
Ross: Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment?
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
Ross: You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas.
ROSS: I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do stand up and shout 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'
(Ross shuts off the CD player. Marcel runs into the bedroom and slams the door.)
Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino. (Hands it to him.)
Ross: (interrupts him again) Okay, it's not a contest.
Ross: Umm, jealous! (He drops the cherry and it turns on.)
Chandler: I know. (He rubs Rosss head)
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
(Ross is shocked, but Rachel drags him out of the office.)
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Rachel: Yeah, actually Daddy Ross is allergic to lobster.
Ross: Well yeah! Someone sent us a basket at work once and people went crazy over those little muffins. It was the best day.
Ross: (to his hands) Way to go guys. Yknow, you-you were really good at the stuff too.
Ross: now I feel terrible this is all my fault.
Ross: Just can't believe I'm in Rachel Green's room.
Ross: That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you.
(Rachel looks at Ross and her agrees silently)
Ross: No, we-we're gonna be like best friends, that's why it's gonna be weird.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Ross: Correct, his profession was?
Gunther: (to Ross) Thanks for not marrying Rachel. (He starts to leave.)
(Ross turns his back on Paul and makes a I hate that guy face. Paul does the same thing.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Ross: But-but Cailin, he definitely will scream.
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
Ross: yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.
Ross: And I too am just a love machine. (Hums a little bit and mimics Pauls flexing.)
Ross: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
ROSS: No, no, wait, ok, ok, look at the other side. Look at Julie's column.
Mr. Geller: I just wish Nana were alive to hear Rosss toast.
Ross: Do you realise we almost made it ten years without that coming up?
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
Ross: Uhh, believe me when hes older, hell understand.
(As Ross opens the lid, everybody looks at the mess inside.)
Ross: Oh, you know what? You're gonna get it. I-I-I-I can feel it.
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Phoebe: Wow. So, okay, maybe that means that, youre not over Ross yet and you have issues with your father.
Ross: Well then well-well see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (Theyre sitting by the window.) What-what what you guys doing here?!
Ross: You know what? I know Chandler longer, so I always think of him as my best friend, but now... I may have to rethink some stuff...
Minister: I think wed better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross
Ross: (covering his eyes) Dude! That's my sister! (She shows the rest of the gang.)
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Ross: Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack.
Rachel: What? (Joey starts offering Ross some turkey.) Oh yknow what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck!
Ross: I need juice! People need juice!!
[Scene: A Doctor's Office, Ross is having his thing looked at by Dr. Rhodes.]
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
ROSS: No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is.
Rachel: But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. (Ross looks at her) All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, Ill love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
Ross: He couldn't even tell me! He said it was just some sort of skin... abnormality. And the worst thing is he-he-he said, he said, without being able to identify it, he was reluctant to remove it.
Ross: Oh my God. Oh my God! And youre-youre youre not freaking out?
Rachel: Ross, shes not weird, she just wants her stuff to be one of a kind.
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
(The message is finished. Ross jumps over to the answering machine.)
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
ROSS: You mean hardball?
Ross: I cannot believe we're having this conversation.
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.