words in movies
Ross: Oh, that's right! (to Emma) Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right?
Ross: (to Emma) Can you say Barbados?
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Chandler: Yeah Ross, I mean... we're excited to hear the speech but the rest of the time we're gonna wanna do, you know, "island's stuff".
Ross: Oh, right, because he's a scientist!
Ross: Ok, we gotta go, yeah? So, we'll see you guys tomorrow.
Ross: It's a blanket Joe, not a cloak of invisibility!
Ross: (very excited) Look at all these paleontologists!!
Ross: Wow! This is very flattering, uh...
Ross: Uh, uh... Sure! Uhm... "Dear..." (he takes the notepad)
Ross: "... Sarah. I dig you", Uh? "Doctor Ross Geller".
Ross: Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani.
Ross: Dude, it's just "Days of Our Lives"... there's no the.
Joey: (thinking he's kidding) Ok, Ross! It's... It's fun, yeah! No, I-I play Doctor Drake Ramoray.
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
(Someone knocks the door, Joey goes to open it and Ross is on the other side)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: (Excited) You're never going to guess who I just saw downstairs!
Ross: Yeah, she never misses these conferences! (then to Charlie) No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz!
Ross: Yeah... what am I going to say to Kenneth Schwartz?
Joey: You could say: "Hey Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?" (looks at Ross matter-of-factly)
Ross: (to Charlie) Ready to go?
Charlie: Oh I can't... I have seminars all day and I promised Ross I would look at his speech.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (a little embarassed by their conversation) I'm good, I have dinner plans (moves away from them).
Ross: Uh, Joe, have you looked outside?
(Ross goes to the window and opens the curtains revealing that it's raining outside)
Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees)
Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous!
Chandler: That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross!
[Scene: Ross's hotel room. Ross and is reading his keynote speech to Charlie from his laptop]
Ross: By using CT scans and computer imaging we can in a very real way, bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Ross: The chocolates aren't here yet.
Charlie: Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic!
Ross: If you want to check your email, just ask! (Chandler tries to look offended)
Ross: Wha... what do you mean? (Goes to the laptop)
Ross: What, oh my God. What did you do?
Ross: Why, why would you open it?
Ross: What did it say?
Chandler: Nude... (Ross looks at him)... pictures of Anna Kournikova. I'm so sorry.
Ross: What... what am I gonna do? My speech is gone, Chandler!
Ross: NO! I don't!!
[Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]
Ross: Yep! I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career!
Ross: Yeah, well you should! I mean, nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? I mean, she's never even won a major tournament!
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Ross: Get out! (Chandler runs out)
Ross: Well, what do you do?
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
Ross: I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe!
Charlie: Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech. We can recreate it! We've got all night!
Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that?
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
[Scene: Ross's room. Charlie is sitting on the bed, while Ross is walking up and down nervously]
Ross: Yeah, that's it?
Ross: Oh my God, we did it! (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly)
Charlie: Actually I did it Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech.
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Ross: Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? (he goes to get the champagne)
Ross: Oh my God, I love you.
Ross: That's Ben, my son from my first marriage.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: No. (they clink glasses and drink)
Ross: (embarassed) Oh, it was... it's complicated, you know? She... she was... eh... gay.
Ross: Ok, odd thing to get excited about!
Ross: Hey! High-five! (they high-five)
Ross: My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with everyday for a year. She didn't get any fitter.
Ross: I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay"
Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome?
Ross: (embarassed) Me neither.
(Ross and Charlie walk into the hall from Ross's room)
Ross and Charlie: Hey!
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
Ross: Yep, we got it, we got it. (To Charlie) Thank you so much.
Ross: Good night.
(Ross and Rachel watch them walk away and sigh. They look at each other, embarassed.)
Ross and Rachel: Ok, good night!
Ross: (from across the wall) Walls are pretty thin, guys!
[Scene: Conference room. Ross is making his keynote speech]
Ross: Then we have to await the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing which call into question information gathered from years of simple carbon dating.
Ross: Finally, factoring the profusion of new species recently discovered: Gigantosaurus, Argentinasaurus...
Ross: And that's just the herbivores. I'm not even gonna discuss the carnivores, their heads are already too big. Which is ironic considering their stunted cerebral development.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Ross: ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of Homo erectus...
Ross: (concluding his speech)... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. (pauses) Thank you!
(Everybody stands up and applauds. Ross looks flattered and surprised. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him)
Ross: Oh, thanks guys!
Man with a bow tie: (shaking hands with Ross) I thought... it was wonderful!
Ross: Oh!
Man with a bow tie: Jarvis Oberblau, Cornell. (sighs) I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... (sighs again and smiles at Ross blissfully).
Ross: (with a frozen smile on his face, realizing something's wrong with Jarvis) Ok... now... now we're just holding hands! (pulls his hand away)
Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great!
Ross: Oh, thank you so much!
Ross: (puzzled) Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! (to Phoebe) Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here!
(Ross is dumbfounded to see Mike instead of David)
Ross: (skating over, embarrassed) Ok!... Uh... excuse me? Yeah?
(Ross goes towards Charlie, who's conversing with a fellow paleontologist, and touches her shoulder to get her attention)
Ross: Hey! (she turns to him) Well...? (in expectation)
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me?
Ross: No, it's ok! Made me feel like a rock star!
Ross: (joking) I'd better not found you naked in my hotel room!
(Ross giggles, but Charlie isn't amused at all.)
Ross: (realizing his joke wasn't so good, but still giggling) Look, I took it too far!
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
[Scene: hotel's bar, Ross and Mr. Oberblau are talking]
Ross: Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. (Mr. Oberblau giggles)
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Ross: Get Out!
Charlie: Ross, can I talk to you for a minute?
Ross: Yes, please! (they move and sit down on a sofa) So, what's going on?
Ross: Oh my God, wh-what happened?
Ross: I knew that was him!
Ross: (holding her hand) Hey, you ok?
Ross: Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here.
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
(Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen)
Ross: I don't think they saw us.
Ross: (apparently unruffled) Oh. Can I... can I ask who?
Ross: I think I know too but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so...
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
Ross: I'm sorry... we... we can't.
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
Ross: Thats, thats, thats a big candy bar. (Shes holding one of those huge Toblerone bars.) I had the most amazing time with you.
Ross: You called Animal Control?
Ross: Can't do it, can you?
Ross: I know.
Ross: Well, start looking.
Rachel: Ross, you're like my best friend.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What makes you think we're gonna break up?
Ross: Oh, hey, hey, I got that.
Ross: No, no, they will. I just... uh...
Ross: Yeah.
Ross and Julie: Can't wait.
Ross: Monica bang! Monica bang! (runs into one of the posts) Ow!
Ross: Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, yknow-yknow for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! Its here! Yeah, its right-its right down here! In the biggest library in the university! (They start heading that way, towards a secluded section behind the racks.)
Ross: (seeing her) Rach!
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
Ross: Even if the sidecar had a windscreen so your hair wouldnt get messed up?
Ross: I'm just so happy you guys are finally getting a kid.
Ross: What?! Hello! We didnt get married.
Ross: Everyone, this is Julie.
Chandler: Ross, I am not gonna run away again! I just want to get a little fresh air.
Ross: The screaming guy?
Ross: 200 at least.
Ross: You gotta hear this story.
Ross: And bus.
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
Ross: Hey, Rach, can I get some coffee?
Ross: Thank you.
Monica: Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out?
Ross: I'm going to China.
Ross: But...
Ross: It was you, pal.
Rachel: (To Ross) Here's your lemonade.
[A montage of scenes from The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break follows.]
Joey: (To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!
Ross: (stopping her from falling) Okay, okay. Look, you have got to go to a doctor! Okay?
Ross: Oh, I know. (Laughs) Yknow, just-just talking about it is getting me kinda
Ross: (to Joey) So? What do you think? (Shows himself - Joey observes him with a strange look on his face.)
Ross: You're bleeding.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.
Chandler: (Tapping Ross on his shoulder) So, you feel like a dad yet?
Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usually hes got the childrens hospital.
Joey: You gotta tell Ross how you feel.
Ross: What?
ROSS: I just wanna read something. It's your pro list.
Ross: What?
Ross: (entering) Hey! I just heard. What's up?
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
Ross: (walks up) Wow Monica! Hey, just so you know I had my uh, older brother chat with Chandler.
Ross: I didn't order lemonade.
Ross: Oh wow, yeah! See, I did not get that.
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)
Ross: Okay. Okay. (They hug.) Okay.
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
Ross: It's been sixteen years but the air quotes still hurt.
Ross: All right here. Watch me execute the three Ps of championship play. Power. (swings the racquet) Precision. (swings the racquet.) and penache. (does a backswing and hits Sarah whos started up the stairs, knocking her down, they both watch in horror.)
Ross: Carol?
Ross: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?
Ross: Hi. Sorry we're late but we werewell, there was touching.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Mona some coffee.]
Ross: Hello to the rest.
Ross: (enters) Hi, honey.
Ross: (Looking at the posters.) Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? (They sit down on the couch. Ross smiles and the black light fluoresces his teeth.) So, ahh, where were we?
Ross: How's the hair?
Ross: Long story, honey.
Ross: What difference does that make?!
Monica: Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
Ross: Hey! (congratulates him)
(Ross and Chandler turn at the voice...)
Ross: Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.
Ross: No!
Ross: (overhearing) What kind of research?
Ross: It's breast milk.
Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Ross: Oh, you've tasted it.
Ross: Helen Geller? I don't think so.
Monica: Ross, he's got the remote again.
(They both laugh as Ross heads back to the bathroom.)
(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
Ross: No. No, I didnt. I didnt want to be that guy.
Ross: Yeah I know; hes in Bens class.
Rachel: (she reaches for the bottle) Oww! (She grabs the bottle, but has trouble opening it. She pops the top off and aspirins fly all over the place as Ross enters.)
Ross: I got it! Hey, you get to sleep with her, I get the cramps.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]
Ross: Well, yeah. I cant-I cant stay here all night, and if I go in there shes-shes gonna wanna... do stuff.
Ross: Rachel, Ive seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is holding Ben.]
ROSS: We'll give you Janice.
ROSS: [smells Ben's butt] No no, you're fine, you're fine.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, theyre returning from the party.]
Rachel: Ross is coming over. I think now would be a really good time to talk to him.
ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?
ROSS: You don't believe in evolution?
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: Well, there you go.
ROSS: Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened.
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
Ross: Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didnt propose.