words in movies
Ross: Oh, that's right! (to Emma) Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right?
Ross: (to Emma) Can you say Barbados?
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Chandler: Yeah Ross, I mean... we're excited to hear the speech but the rest of the time we're gonna wanna do, you know, "island's stuff".
Ross: Oh, right, because he's a scientist!
Ross: Ok, we gotta go, yeah? So, we'll see you guys tomorrow.
Ross: It's a blanket Joe, not a cloak of invisibility!
Ross: (very excited) Look at all these paleontologists!!
Ross: Wow! This is very flattering, uh...
Ross: Uh, uh... Sure! Uhm... "Dear..." (he takes the notepad)
Ross: "... Sarah. I dig you", Uh? "Doctor Ross Geller".
Ross: Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani.
Ross: Dude, it's just "Days of Our Lives"... there's no the.
Joey: (thinking he's kidding) Ok, Ross! It's... It's fun, yeah! No, I-I play Doctor Drake Ramoray.
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
(Someone knocks the door, Joey goes to open it and Ross is on the other side)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: (Excited) You're never going to guess who I just saw downstairs!
Ross: Yeah, she never misses these conferences! (then to Charlie) No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz!
Ross: Yeah... what am I going to say to Kenneth Schwartz?
Joey: You could say: "Hey Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?" (looks at Ross matter-of-factly)
Ross: (to Charlie) Ready to go?
Charlie: Oh I can't... I have seminars all day and I promised Ross I would look at his speech.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (a little embarassed by their conversation) I'm good, I have dinner plans (moves away from them).
Ross: Uh, Joe, have you looked outside?
(Ross goes to the window and opens the curtains revealing that it's raining outside)
Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees)
Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous!
Chandler: That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross!
[Scene: Ross's hotel room. Ross and is reading his keynote speech to Charlie from his laptop]
Ross: By using CT scans and computer imaging we can in a very real way, bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Ross: The chocolates aren't here yet.
Charlie: Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic!
Ross: If you want to check your email, just ask! (Chandler tries to look offended)
Ross: Wha... what do you mean? (Goes to the laptop)
Ross: What, oh my God. What did you do?
Ross: Why, why would you open it?
Ross: What did it say?
Chandler: Nude... (Ross looks at him)... pictures of Anna Kournikova. I'm so sorry.
Ross: What... what am I gonna do? My speech is gone, Chandler!
Ross: NO! I don't!!
[Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]
Ross: Yep! I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career!
Ross: Yeah, well you should! I mean, nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? I mean, she's never even won a major tournament!
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Ross: Get out! (Chandler runs out)
Ross: Well, what do you do?
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
Ross: I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe!
Charlie: Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech. We can recreate it! We've got all night!
Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that?
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
[Scene: Ross's room. Charlie is sitting on the bed, while Ross is walking up and down nervously]
Ross: Yeah, that's it?
Ross: Oh my God, we did it! (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly)
Charlie: Actually I did it Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech.
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Ross: Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? (he goes to get the champagne)
Ross: Oh my God, I love you.
Ross: That's Ben, my son from my first marriage.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: No. (they clink glasses and drink)
Ross: (embarassed) Oh, it was... it's complicated, you know? She... she was... eh... gay.
Ross: Ok, odd thing to get excited about!
Ross: Hey! High-five! (they high-five)
Ross: My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with everyday for a year. She didn't get any fitter.
Ross: I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay"
Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome?
Ross: (embarassed) Me neither.
(Ross and Charlie walk into the hall from Ross's room)
Ross and Charlie: Hey!
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
Ross: Yep, we got it, we got it. (To Charlie) Thank you so much.
Ross: Good night.
(Ross and Rachel watch them walk away and sigh. They look at each other, embarassed.)
Ross and Rachel: Ok, good night!
Ross: (from across the wall) Walls are pretty thin, guys!
[Scene: Conference room. Ross is making his keynote speech]
Ross: Then we have to await the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing which call into question information gathered from years of simple carbon dating.
Ross: Finally, factoring the profusion of new species recently discovered: Gigantosaurus, Argentinasaurus...
Ross: And that's just the herbivores. I'm not even gonna discuss the carnivores, their heads are already too big. Which is ironic considering their stunted cerebral development.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Ross: ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of Homo erectus...
Ross: (concluding his speech)... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. (pauses) Thank you!
(Everybody stands up and applauds. Ross looks flattered and surprised. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him)
Ross: Oh, thanks guys!
Man with a bow tie: (shaking hands with Ross) I thought... it was wonderful!
Ross: Oh!
Man with a bow tie: Jarvis Oberblau, Cornell. (sighs) I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... (sighs again and smiles at Ross blissfully).
Ross: (with a frozen smile on his face, realizing something's wrong with Jarvis) Ok... now... now we're just holding hands! (pulls his hand away)
Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great!
Ross: Oh, thank you so much!
Ross: (puzzled) Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! (to Phoebe) Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here!
(Ross is dumbfounded to see Mike instead of David)
Ross: (skating over, embarrassed) Ok!... Uh... excuse me? Yeah?
(Ross goes towards Charlie, who's conversing with a fellow paleontologist, and touches her shoulder to get her attention)
Ross: Hey! (she turns to him) Well...? (in expectation)
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me?
Ross: No, it's ok! Made me feel like a rock star!
Ross: (joking) I'd better not found you naked in my hotel room!
(Ross giggles, but Charlie isn't amused at all.)
Ross: (realizing his joke wasn't so good, but still giggling) Look, I took it too far!
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
[Scene: hotel's bar, Ross and Mr. Oberblau are talking]
Ross: Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. (Mr. Oberblau giggles)
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Ross: Get Out!
Charlie: Ross, can I talk to you for a minute?
Ross: Yes, please! (they move and sit down on a sofa) So, what's going on?
Ross: Oh my God, wh-what happened?
Ross: I knew that was him!
Ross: (holding her hand) Hey, you ok?
Ross: Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here.
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
(Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen)
Ross: I don't think they saw us.
Ross: (apparently unruffled) Oh. Can I... can I ask who?
Ross: I think I know too but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so...
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
Ross: I'm sorry... we... we can't.
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is drinking some Alka-Seltzer. The rest of the gang, minus Rachel is there as well.]
(Ross wants to say something, but just smiles and leaves.)
Ross: Thanks! (They hug.) Ugh, I cant believe youre not gonna be there!
Ross: Thanks.
Joey: I know. Ross is getting married.
Rachel: Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross.
Ross: (laughs) Move in with me.
Ross: This is my wedding.
Monica: My brother, Ross.
Ross: All right, lets go! Bye, Pheebs!
Ross: Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
Ross: So, what are you guys doing four weeks from today?
Ross: What?! No! No! Thats-thats time-out!
Ross: Um-hmm! Doesnt that sound delicious at the last minute?
Ross: What? What?
Ross: Sweep, sweep....(He starts to paint it on her eye, making it look like she has a black eye.)
Ross: Uh-huh, I see that.
Ross: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats with the tackling?
Rachel: Im not in love with Ross!
Rachel: You all know? Does Ross know?
Ross: (stopping them) Okay, that-thats enough! Yknow, lets, lets let someone else play.
Ross: She said what?
Ross: I cant ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that? (Holds out his pants)
Ross: (entering) Hey!
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
Phoebe: Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out.
Ross: Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.'
Ross: Yeah.
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Ross: Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay!
Ross: (opening the door.) Hey!
(Ross takes a twenty and slips it underneath the bill when Dr. Green isnt looking.)
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?
Phoebe: IRachel, you cant go! Ross loves Emily!
Ross: Oh, mom. Mom. Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food.
Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!
Emily: (to Ross) Good luck, babe.
Ross: No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through.
Ross: whats up, Dad?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Chandler: She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross!
Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Ross: Im gonna, Im gonna go to London and Im going to fight for her.
Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.
Ross: Oh, umm, I'm just getting rid of a couple of things.
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Joey: Look, Ross, I feel really bad. I mean, you're going through all this stuff and I just acted like a jerk.
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Ross: Im getting married, to..day!!
Ross: Chloe, Chloe hows it coming?!!
Ross: (Screaming) Im getting married today!! Whoo-hoo!!
Ross: So uh, Rach? Does it, does it feel weird around here now? Y'know since I've been away at college.
Ross: Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian?
Ross: Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?
Ross: Ohh, man! Chicago, is sooo lucky!
ROSS: Ok, Pheebs! How 'bout we'll each just pay for what we had. It's no big deal.
Ross: Well, that's cool. So did (She walks away from him and he shuts up.)
Ross: (Very Nervous)Really?
[Scene: The Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross is at the Walthams table discussing the bill.]
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.
Ross: Nothing, nothing. Everything's under control.
Ross: You know what, I think weve had all the bad luck were going to have. (He hugs her.)
Ross: No, please, please, um, its for a poor little girl who wants to go to Spacecamp more than anything in the world.
(Joey and Ross enter causing Chandler to quickly hide the brochure behind his back.)
Ross: Okay, fine, fine. You dont want to believe me? No, thats fine. (starts to leave)
Ross: Rach, y'know I can see you naked any time I want.
Ross: I Ross...
ROSS: Oh, oh that's right, I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.
Emily: Take thee Ross...
Minster: Take thee Ross...
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk, Ross is walking up and sees two women that look like Phoebe and Rachel from behind.]
Ross: I Ross...
Ross: I, Ross
ROSS: Hans...Hans...Yo evil twin.
Ross: Yay!
Ross: Happy too.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
Ross: It was soo not an accident. She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma arm elbow right into my face. And just keep running.
Ross: Hi!
(Cut to Rachel and Ross.)
Ross: Look, Im sorry.
ROSS: Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. (da-doom-chesh) (to drummer) What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me (looks for the da-doom-chesh, and doesn't get one) Cheers.
Ross: Oh, right!
Ross: Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America?
Ross: (entering) Emily?!
Emily: (running in, with Ross) Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are we going to do?
Ross: I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue.
Ross: (disappointed) Thats cool.
Ross: Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she?
Emily: Ross umm, theres something that Ive got to tell you, theres-theres someone else.