words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is showing Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe his engagement ring again.]
Ross: God that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever!
Ross: Yeah, you didnt get one.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Hey! Ross, listen can you come to a charity event tonight?
Ross: Oh no, I have plans with Elizabeth.
Ross: Im sorry, its just one of my last nights together before she leaves for campto be a counselor!
Monica: Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
Ross: I dont know.
Ross: Wait a minute, does-does everyone feel this way?
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Joey: Thats not what she said last night. (Ross glares at him.)
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Ross: Yeah, yeah you have the ring?
Ross: (to the rest of them) Yeah-yeah you guys. Get out of here!
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
Ross: Whats-whats going on?
Ross: Oh, you have to call the police! Thats what I did to the kids in my building!
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
Elizabeth: (To Ross) You want some?! (Starts to squirt the Kamikaze at him.)
Ross: No! Okay! Okay! (Stops her.) Okay, look, can I, can I just-just talk to you for a second?
Ross: Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? Its-its gotten great reviews! Yknow the uh
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
(Both opposing camps start screaming at each other to drop their weapons and surrender. Finally, Ross steps in as a mediator.)
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning to find Ross is there waiting for them.]
Ross: Oh my God, you guys!! (Hes excited about what he thought happened.)
Ross: Who?
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
Ross: Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.
Monica: Oh Ross, sometimes grown-ups have commitments they just cant get out of!
Ross: Yknow, maybe she is too young for me. Yknow, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I dont know what to do.
Ross: Okay umm, bad stuff. Well, Im-Im 12 years older than she is.
Ross: Hmm.
Ross: Okay, good stuff. Umm, well shes-shes sweet and pretty and
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
Ross: No! No! I didnt do that. Its just Okay, honestly no. I dont, I dont see a big future with her.
Ross: Ive got to talk to her. Ugh, I hate this part.
[Scene: Outside of Elizabeths dormitory, Ross is exiting after breaking up with her and we can hear his thoughts.]
Ross: (in his head) Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didnt seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?
Elizabeth: (sticking her head out her window) Ross! Wait!
Ross: Elizabeth, thank God! I was just thinking about
Ross: What?!
Ross: Okay, break-ups still on!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is watching a show about the extinction of the dinosaurs.]
Ross: What happened you guys?
Ross: Rach!
Ross: Hey, come on in.
Ross: Oh, thanks. Yeah, I really thought wed be able to make it work, but uh, I guess it just wasnt meant to be.
Ross: I guess so.
Ross: Right. Ohh! You-you want me to be your backup.
Ross: Ohh, yeah I already have one.
Ross: Phoebe.
Ross: Ohh, I dont think so.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
Rachel: Phoebe! You picked Joey and Ross?! You can not have two backups!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Phoebe! Were both (points at Ross and himself) your backup?!
Ross: Phoebe, how could you do this to me?!
Ross: I was not!
Ross: No! Pick me! I dont want to end up an old maid!
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Ross: Ooh, I wanna switch to Rachel too!
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Ross: All right.
Phoebe: (reading) Ross!
Phoebe: Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isnt here!
Mrs. Green: (entering from bathroom) Hi Ross!
Ross: Thanks.
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Ross: Sorry.
Joey: Oh that's mine too! (Grabs it and Ross looks at him.) I'm Italian!
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Okay, okay, well just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! (Referring to the dancers.)
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
Phoebe: No! (Rosss phone rings.)
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
(Ross gestures his consent.)
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
Ross: We think Chandler might be having an affair.
Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Ross: Okay? (goes into the living room)
Ross: He finally asked you out?
Ross: A wandering?
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has picked up a vacuum and is holding it at the door.]
Ross: Okay, sure.
Ross: What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer.
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
Ross: You guys.
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Ross: I'm divorced! I'm only 26 and I'm divorced!
Ross: I bet two dollars. (throws it in)
RACHEL: This is Joey, and Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross.
Ross: Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader.
Ross: We are a rare breed.
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
Ross: Joe Im not kidding
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
Ross: You got a job?
Monica: Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.
Gavin: Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything
Ross: C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,...
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
(they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.)
Joey: Nice. Oh hey, what about Ross?
Ross: Split it?
Ross: Goodnight.
Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I will...
Ross: Not since my cop-show got cancelled.
Ross: No, this is pretty much it.
Ross: There's an image.
Ross: Does she.
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Ross:Hi.
Ross: I just grabbed a spoon. (Ross exits and Monica has no idea what that means.)
Ross: Pregnant?!
Ross: Okay, you wanna play rough, we can play rough.
Ross: Forget it. I-IYknow what? Ill just have the conversation. Ill just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Ross: Well, I mean if uh, if Emily gave me a choice
Rachel: Ok... (and passes the spider to Ross who holds it in between his hands)
Ross: Dude, you didnt say Die Hard. Is everything okay?
Ross: Okay, so on our no-date evening, three of you now have dates.
Ross: (standing outside the door).....Hi.
Ross: Aw, Mom...
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Yknow what? Im just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself.
Ross: I- I think they're great! I, I really do.
Ross: Huh? Oh, I got this(Holds up this pink frilly thing)this!
Ross: Yeah. (They go to the kitchen.)
Ross: (grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are youOkay thats not funny! Just stop horsing around!
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Ross: Mm.
Ross: Got me.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Ross: Yes, yes!
Ross: Mm-hmm..
Ross: (To Joey) I cant believe you told her I was going to propose!
Susan: Ross.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Ross: How could I forget?
Ross: Well, uh, uh, I don't know, okay, okay, how about with the, uh, with the baby's name?
Ross: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now?
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: Look, all I know is I-I cant have another failed marriage!
Ross: Celia, don't worry! Don't scream! He's not going to hurt you! Soothing tones, Celia. Soothing tones! Marcel...
Ross: Now, if you wanna try to make some of it back, Id be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you, I am very good at Cups.
Ross: No no no, she gets a credit, hey, I'm in there too.
[Scene: Grammercy Bistero, Ross and Kristen are waiting for their table to be ready. Ross is returning from talking to the matired.]
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Well? Isn't that amazing?
[the bullies grab the back of the couch that Ross and Chandler are sitting in and tip back]
Ross: Then don't do that, alright?
Ross: (walks over to where Monica is standing)Monica. Whaddya think?