words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is showing Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe his engagement ring again.]
Ross: God that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever!
Ross: Yeah, you didnt get one.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Hey! Ross, listen can you come to a charity event tonight?
Ross: Oh no, I have plans with Elizabeth.
Ross: Im sorry, its just one of my last nights together before she leaves for campto be a counselor!
Monica: Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
Ross: I dont know.
Ross: Wait a minute, does-does everyone feel this way?
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Joey: Thats not what she said last night. (Ross glares at him.)
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Ross: Yeah, yeah you have the ring?
Ross: (to the rest of them) Yeah-yeah you guys. Get out of here!
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
Ross: Whats-whats going on?
Ross: Oh, you have to call the police! Thats what I did to the kids in my building!
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
Elizabeth: (To Ross) You want some?! (Starts to squirt the Kamikaze at him.)
Ross: No! Okay! Okay! (Stops her.) Okay, look, can I, can I just-just talk to you for a second?
Ross: Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? Its-its gotten great reviews! Yknow the uh
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
(Both opposing camps start screaming at each other to drop their weapons and surrender. Finally, Ross steps in as a mediator.)
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning to find Ross is there waiting for them.]
Ross: Oh my God, you guys!! (Hes excited about what he thought happened.)
Ross: Who?
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
Ross: Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.
Monica: Oh Ross, sometimes grown-ups have commitments they just cant get out of!
Ross: Yknow, maybe she is too young for me. Yknow, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I dont know what to do.
Ross: Okay umm, bad stuff. Well, Im-Im 12 years older than she is.
Ross: Hmm.
Ross: Okay, good stuff. Umm, well shes-shes sweet and pretty and
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
Ross: No! No! I didnt do that. Its just Okay, honestly no. I dont, I dont see a big future with her.
Ross: Ive got to talk to her. Ugh, I hate this part.
[Scene: Outside of Elizabeths dormitory, Ross is exiting after breaking up with her and we can hear his thoughts.]
Ross: (in his head) Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didnt seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?
Elizabeth: (sticking her head out her window) Ross! Wait!
Ross: Elizabeth, thank God! I was just thinking about
Ross: What?!
Ross: Okay, break-ups still on!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is watching a show about the extinction of the dinosaurs.]
Ross: What happened you guys?
Ross: Rach!
Ross: Hey, come on in.
Ross: Oh, thanks. Yeah, I really thought wed be able to make it work, but uh, I guess it just wasnt meant to be.
Ross: I guess so.
Ross: Right. Ohh! You-you want me to be your backup.
Ross: Ohh, yeah I already have one.
Ross: Phoebe.
Ross: Ohh, I dont think so.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
Rachel: Phoebe! You picked Joey and Ross?! You can not have two backups!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Phoebe! Were both (points at Ross and himself) your backup?!
Ross: Phoebe, how could you do this to me?!
Ross: I was not!
Ross: No! Pick me! I dont want to end up an old maid!
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Ross: Ooh, I wanna switch to Rachel too!
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Ross: All right.
Phoebe: (reading) Ross!
Phoebe: Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isnt here!
Ross: Hey! Its 42-21!
(Ross flounders.)
Monica: Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! (Shows him Ben's picture.) Huh? You're-you're a cowboy!
Ross: Yeah, most of it it's a place packed with confused angry baseball fans!
Ross: (entering) Uh fellas, (Does the maneuver and gives them a double thumbs up, which Chandler returns as he closes the door.)
Ross: And what did he ask you not to call him?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Sandy is knitting baby clothes. Ross and Rachel walk into the living room.]
Ross: Let go! Let go!
Ross: Yeah, losers talk!
Joey: (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths Come on!) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Ross: No! You let go!
Ross: Gimme the this!
Rachel: (entering) Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought.
Ross: I know. I feel horrible. Okay.
Ross: Okay, y'know what, lets just cut to the chase here. Okay? Heidi, which of my boys do you like?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah, Sarah, anything.
ROSS: As in, "I now pronounce you wife and wife" married?
Ross: We make a great foursome. We should do more stuff together. Ooh! Let's take a trip. Okay, where do you think we - we can go?
Ross: (puts away his wallet) And what is second prize?
ROSS: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
Ross: Hi, Im selling Brown Bird cookies.
(She takes her hand off Erica. Ross enters the room)
Ross: All right!!
Ross: Well, that makes sense.
Ross: Mon?
Ross: Ill tell you what Mon, Ill give you the first box for free.
ROSS: Cannot feel my tounge.
Ross and Rachel: Oh!
Ross: ....and 12, 22, 18, four... (Chandler starts laughing) What?
Chandler: Yes, yes, its just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross.
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Ross: Well hey, who did these resumes for ya?
Ross: Its not a library...
Ross: What, that wasnt the great news?
Ross: (stopping quickly) Oh umm, theres also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. (They both laugh, but stop when the hear moaning coming from the next aisle.) What is that?
Ross: I dont have too. I can just look at you.
ROSS: You, you know I, I don't, have a- have a problem with that.
Carol: Let it go, Ross.
[He opens the window, Ross comes in, soaked.]
Ross: Hi there!
Ross: (to himself) Not nice enough.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross are there.]
Ross: That's funny...Do you think you'll ever work again?
Ross: That word was swans.
Ross: Whats a scrud?
Ross: No.
Ross: My first time with Carol was... (He mumbles the last part)
ROSS: Ah?� (Mike nods.� Another pause.)� Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Ross: No, I fold. (lays cards down, and gets up)
Ross: Hey Chandler, theres a party tomorrow, youll feel better then.
Ross: Nice to see you again Dr. Green.
Phoebe: Him? Him, Ross?
Phoebe: Ross, went to get a cab so we can all... No, wh-what are you doing! No, Monica, no!
Ross: I dont know, something girlie.
Rachel: Oh yeah! (She gasps.) Oh my God! That is our friend! (Monica covers her face.) It's Naked Ross! (Monica turns and buries her face in Chandler's shoulder.)
ROSS: Let's, let's take this outside? Who talks like that?
Ross: Well you sure used a large font.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! Thats when it occurred to me, the key to my success, the munchies. So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!'
ROSS: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Phoebe, you cant get out of this! Okay? You have to learn how to ride a bike!
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]
Ross: Uh-huh.
Ross: Huh. Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex.
Ross: Thats excellent.
Ross: Hi.
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
Ross: Flip me for it? No, no, no... heads, heads, heads!
(Cut to Ross and Monica)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! (He picks up a lamp and hands it to Chandler, for no reason.) It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! (to Emily) Hi!
Ross: It was, it was great. Oh, what happened?
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Ross: Thats okay.
Ross: (answering it) 1987, the day after Christmas, at Sean McMahons party. I played you one of my songs, yknow Interplanetary Courtship Ritual.
Phoebe: This is everybody. This is Ross.
Ross: Mary-Angela.
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
Ross: Ah, which, which one?
Ross: Well I had a great time! Umm, Chancy on the other hand
Ross: Ya wanna hang back and take our own cab?
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it?
Ross: Its okay. Come, come on in.
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
Ross: That is so made up!
Ross: There you go.
Ross: No.
Ross: Well, yeah!
ROSS: Oh, see from where I was sitting I uh. . .
Ross: (shyly) You grow up.