words in movies
[Scene: The Hospital, Phoebe is arriving with Ross, Joey, and Rachel in tow.]
Ross: It's all right.
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Ross: Hey, what took you guys so long? Your cab left when ours did!
(Both Rachel and Ross stare at her for a moment.)
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Ross: Apparently she fell in the shower and hit her head.
Ross: Look, Pheebs-Pheebs, it's gonna be okay.
Ross: Yeah, he's head of the department.
Ross: Hello.
Rachel: What? What are you talking about?! You-you're the one who's been telling me to get over Ross and move on. I'm moving on, and you're moving on with me. Come on, give me one good reason why you don't wanna go.
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Ross: Hey, where are Monica and Rachel anyway?
Ross: To be fair, he doesnt seem to be impersonating Fonzie
Ross: Again, it's not that he
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
[Scene: The delivery room, Ross has returned with another doctor. This one, is well, younger.]
Ross: Okay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang.
Phoebe: (interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
Ross: (entering) Hey! I just heard. What's up?
[Cut to Joey's room, who's going throw his own contractions. Plus, he has Ross in a headlock.]
Ross: Breathe! Breathe! Breathe throw the pain.
Joey: I want the drugs Ross, I want the drugs! (He starts rocking back and forth, taking Ross with him.)
Ross: I do too! I do too!
Ross: Argh!
Ross: Argh!
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
Ross: You did it, man.
Joey: They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
Ross: I sortve already asked Chandler.
Ross: Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck.
Ross: Yeah that's the same.
Ross: Enough with geography for the insane, okay? Lets play some ball, guys.
Ross: Oh, great! Listen, oh I had to get you a whole new battery. I got you the best one I could, cause thats not where you want to skimp.
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Ross: Great. Great.
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Ross: Here. (Hands her, her cough drops) (to Rachel) At least I made ten bucks in my relationship.
Ross: Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: Wow! Yeah!
Ross: Good call!
Ross: Hey listen man, about the stripper
Ross: Hey-hey, what are those?
Rachel: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you dont have those babies until I get back. (Kisses her stomach.)
Ross: Okay, see ya later.
Ross: Ohh! That would be great.
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
[Ross enters with several bags from shopping.]
ROSS: [doorbell buzzes] Hello.
Ross: What's goin' on?
Ross: (entering) Hey guys!
Ross: Yeah, right!
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Ross: Uh, Rachel, Ive been thinking. I dont think us getting together tonight is such a good idea. Im calling it off.
Rachel: Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you!
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Ross: They make you take an oath?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are eating Chinese.]
Ross: Not on you! On the stripper!
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
Ross: 'Yes', how about. C'mere. Gimme!
Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees)
Ross: That is really nice lying! No way is that the reason!
[Scene: Phoebes Work, Ross is now trying to stop Jasmine from telling Phoebe.]
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
Ross: Its a legitimate learning technique. (Looking around and seeing the woman behind him glaring at him.) Wow!
Woman: (looking through her peephole, we see Ross standing in the hallway.) Yesss?
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Ross: You dont want to believe me, Im Mr. Funny to you. Mr. Funny (turns around and almost spills his coffee on Tommy)
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Ross: No, thats all right.
Ross: Total wuss!
Joey: Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.
Ross: Hey! Are you ready yet?
(Joey and Ross go into Monica and Rachel's apartment)
Ross: (exhaling) The fear of Triscuts!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is drinking some Alka-Seltzer. The rest of the gang, minus Rachel is there as well.]
(Ross wants to say something, but just smiles and leaves.)
Ross: Thanks! (They hug.) Ugh, I cant believe youre not gonna be there!
Ross: Thanks.
Joey: I know. Ross is getting married.
Rachel: Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross.
Ross: (laughs) Move in with me.
Ross: This is my wedding.
Monica: My brother, Ross.
Ross: All right, lets go! Bye, Pheebs!
Ross: Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
Ross: So, what are you guys doing four weeks from today?
Ross: What?! No! No! Thats-thats time-out!
Ross: Um-hmm! Doesnt that sound delicious at the last minute?
Ross: What? What?
Ross: Sweep, sweep....(He starts to paint it on her eye, making it look like she has a black eye.)
Ross: Uh-huh, I see that.
Ross: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats with the tackling?
Rachel: Im not in love with Ross!
Rachel: You all know? Does Ross know?
Ross: (stopping them) Okay, that-thats enough! Yknow, lets, lets let someone else play.
Ross: She said what?
Ross: I cant ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that? (Holds out his pants)
Ross: (entering) Hey!
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
Phoebe: Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out.
Ross: Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.'
Ross: Yeah.
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Ross: Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay!
Ross: (opening the door.) Hey!
(Ross takes a twenty and slips it underneath the bill when Dr. Green isnt looking.)
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?
Phoebe: IRachel, you cant go! Ross loves Emily!
Ross: Oh, mom. Mom. Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food.
Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!
Emily: (to Ross) Good luck, babe.
Ross: No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through.
Ross: whats up, Dad?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Chandler: She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross!
Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Ross: Im gonna, Im gonna go to London and Im going to fight for her.