words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Ross: Look I was going to tell you!
Rachel: When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didnt get the annulment; we are still married.
Monica: Ross!
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasnt my best decision. But I just couldnt face another failed marriage.
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?
Rachel: So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Rosss, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now.
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
Ross: Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2:00 and I picked up all the forms. Ill take care of everything.
Ross: Okay Rach, but
(Ross grunts something and hands her the pen he was trying to hand her.)
Rachel: Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!
Ross: Look I told you
Ross: Look, if youd had two failed marriages, youd understand!
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Ross: What about the time I said we were on a break?
[Scene: A judges chambers, Rachel and Ross are filing their annulment papers.]
Ross: Fine, Im mentally unstable.
Ross: What?!
Ross: Crack isnt even an intravenous drug!
Ross: Oh, come on!
Rachel: (starts to cry) Ross, please, I found the magazines!
Ross: Okay, Im sorry, this is insane! I-I-Im not addicted to heroin, Im not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, Ill consummate this marriage right here, right now!
Ross: And when we were dating we consummated like bunnies!
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
Ross: (stands up) Thats great! Are you happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form!
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Ross: Yeah!
(Ross and Rachel approach, theyre still yelling at each other.)
Ross: My fault?! You threatened the judge!
Ross: That was the only way I could get him to stop typing!
Ross: The judge wouldnt let us get an annulment! Now we gotta get a divorce!! Did a Porsch throw up on you? (Walks on.)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is packing what she still has over there as Ross enters.]
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, Ive already signed everything and I put little Xs where you need to sign.
Ross: Yknow, I-Iyouve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Ross: Yeah! Right!
Ross: Youre right. Thats very different. So lets, lets just sign the papers. All right? (Sits down and Rachel keeps standing there.) What?
Ross: Okay, can we just sign please?
Rachel: Uh-hmm. (Just as Rachel finishes signing her name, Ross yanks each page out of the way.)
Ross: Congratulations. (Gets up to leave.)
Rachel: Okay Ross, werewait a minute. Umm, I uh, I kinda have a little confession.
Ross: What?
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: Yeah?
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Ross: So then if-ifI mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.) your fault.
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Ross: Did I, did I even treat?
Ross: That may be the most depressing thing Ive heard in my life. I should probably get these to my lawyers office.
Rachel: Hey, thanks Ross, for taking care of all of this.
Ross: Eh, no problem.
Ross: Totally. (Exits.)
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Ross: Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me.
Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Thanks. You ready to go?
Ross: Anyone want me to appraise anything?
Ross: Um.... no. See, I might've had feelings for her at one timenot any more. I justI...
(Joey congratulates Ross, sees Chandler's look and abruptly stops.)
Ross: Why don't we just put 'poor little Tooty' out in the hall?
Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and Im so sorry for your loss.
[They get back to back and start rubbing against each other. Ross and Rachel enter.]
ROSS: Look, do you love her? And you don't have to be too emphatic about this.
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Ross: I want to take my tongue... and...
[Ross and Julie enter.]
Ross: Right.
Ross: (to Monica) You like it right?
Ross: But we do! (pause) It's gonna be ok, Rach!
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Ross: Okay when you're playing a machine and it hasn't paid out, a lurker waits for you to give up and then
Ross: Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday!
Ross: Oh my God, is that still...
Ross: No youre not.
Ross: Rach!
(People start getting up. Ross grabs Carols doll to hold it upside down like a football, slapping it with his other hand.)
Ross: Rachel...
Ross: Fine. Ill go.
Ross: Rach...
ROSS: Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
Ross: All right.
Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
Ross: Sorry.
Monica: Hey dad, what's up? (Listens) Oh God. Ross, it's Nana.
Ross: What? What?
Ross: Okay. This stuff?
Ross: Oh, okay, yknow what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage...
Ross: Yep?
ROSS: No. Man I don't wanna have to have Joey with me every time I wanna descent cup of coffee. Ya know, and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life drinking cappucino with a 'K'. I say you and I go back down there and stand up to those guys.
Ross: Then be supportive like a guy.
Ross: What?
Ross: Right! Right! I justI want you to know that Im going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctors appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartmentAlthough we could probably worry about that til after we get married.
Ross: (checks his watch) Sure, okay.
Ross: Four letters: "Circle or hoop".
Rachel: Ross! Stop that!
Ross: Ah, Im sorry.
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: All right.
Ross: Look...
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Rach?
Ross: Okay.
ROSS: Okay, good luck (kisses her and leaves)
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is still going on about his first night with Carol.]
Ross: (to Chandler) Thats a duck.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What?
Ross: So, Ill umm...
Rachel: Ross, why didnt you tell me that?
Ross: (breaking the silence) You should get some sleep.
Ross: The one with the cat. I gotta go, Ive got another date.
Ross: Listen, I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom
Ross: It's actually kinda interesting to find out what people are doing... remember Andrea Rich?
Ross: Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? Its-its gotten great reviews! Yknow the uh
[Cut back to her room, Joey and Ross are sitting there waiting for her.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Ross enters, walking very confidently.]
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
ROSS: Yeah. Hey, remember the time I jammed that pencil into your hand?
(Ross exits)
Charlie: Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech. We can recreate it! We've got all night!
Ross: Good.
Ross: Yay!!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Hey, hey Rach!
Rachel: Oh! Tommy, this is Ross. Ross, Tommy.
Ross: Oh! Yeah.
Rachel: Its not dumb. But, maybe its okay that youre not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? (Ross looks confused) I mean its like, I-I-I like that youre not involved in that part of my life.
Ross: And! Break!!
Ross: Look, Mon, do you want us to uh, come back later?
Ross: Five.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross is acting nervous]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross and Rachel are on their double date. Rachel is busy talking Ross up.]
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
Ross: Go? Why?
Ross: Are you kidding? Look, were not gonna be together just because were having a baby. Okay?
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, Im sorry. I completely ruined your evening.
Ross: Look, if you don't know what the word "acrimonious" means, just don't use it!
Ross: Okay look, I had a lot of water before I went to bed. Can we do this after
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Ross: Oh Ill prove it! Ill prove it like a theorem!!
Ross: (all depressed) Hi. Where is everybody?
Ross: Challenge extended.
Ross: (to the girls) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl’s breast?
Ross: Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
Ross: Ok, when you walk in the museum, take the right, that's the antiquities wing. Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, up to the Byzantine Empire.
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop that now!
Ross: Uh, what you said, about us being in a place where we could finally be happy for each other.