words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Ross: Look I was going to tell you!
Rachel: When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didnt get the annulment; we are still married.
Monica: Ross!
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasnt my best decision. But I just couldnt face another failed marriage.
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?
Rachel: So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Rosss, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now.
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
Ross: Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2:00 and I picked up all the forms. Ill take care of everything.
Ross: Okay Rach, but
(Ross grunts something and hands her the pen he was trying to hand her.)
Rachel: Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!
Ross: Look I told you
Ross: Look, if youd had two failed marriages, youd understand!
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Ross: What about the time I said we were on a break?
[Scene: A judges chambers, Rachel and Ross are filing their annulment papers.]
Ross: Fine, Im mentally unstable.
Ross: What?!
Ross: Crack isnt even an intravenous drug!
Ross: Oh, come on!
Rachel: (starts to cry) Ross, please, I found the magazines!
Ross: Okay, Im sorry, this is insane! I-I-Im not addicted to heroin, Im not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, Ill consummate this marriage right here, right now!
Ross: And when we were dating we consummated like bunnies!
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
Ross: (stands up) Thats great! Are you happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form!
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Ross: Yeah!
(Ross and Rachel approach, theyre still yelling at each other.)
Ross: My fault?! You threatened the judge!
Ross: That was the only way I could get him to stop typing!
Ross: The judge wouldnt let us get an annulment! Now we gotta get a divorce!! Did a Porsch throw up on you? (Walks on.)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is packing what she still has over there as Ross enters.]
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, Ive already signed everything and I put little Xs where you need to sign.
Ross: Yknow, I-Iyouve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Ross: Yeah! Right!
Ross: Youre right. Thats very different. So lets, lets just sign the papers. All right? (Sits down and Rachel keeps standing there.) What?
Ross: Okay, can we just sign please?
Rachel: Uh-hmm. (Just as Rachel finishes signing her name, Ross yanks each page out of the way.)
Ross: Congratulations. (Gets up to leave.)
Rachel: Okay Ross, werewait a minute. Umm, I uh, I kinda have a little confession.
Ross: What?
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: Yeah?
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Ross: So then if-ifI mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.) your fault.
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Ross: Did I, did I even treat?
Ross: That may be the most depressing thing Ive heard in my life. I should probably get these to my lawyers office.
Rachel: Hey, thanks Ross, for taking care of all of this.
Ross: Eh, no problem.
Ross: Totally. (Exits.)
Ross: Phoebe! (They hug.)
[Scene: The casino, Ross and Rachel are entering.]
Ross: What?
Ross: Hey, you wet my pants!
Ross: (to Gary) That was so cool man, the way you leaned on that guy.
Ross: What?!
Ross: Joey!!
Ross: Uh-hmm.
Ross: Your what?
Ross: (To Joey) Thanks man.
ROSS: God, that was, that was amazing, that was incredible. You guys, you guys kicked butt.
Ross: Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie.
Ross: Rain? Hi. Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat.
Ross: I'm familiar with his work, yes...
Ross: All right, I just wanted to check.
Ross: Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so...
Ross: Why is it inside out?!
Ross: Okay, there was some staring and pointing.
Ross: (looking at the price list) Umm Wow! That's-that's some pricey nut!
Ross: Nobody likes change.
Rachel: Okay. Okay fine, yknow what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. (Ross enters.) (In a sexy voice.) Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie.
Ross: Well, she wore it all Christmas day, and then uh
Ross: Hey, howd the date go with Mr. Millionaire?
Ross: You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there!Hey come with me!
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Ross: I don�t know, are we just kissing guys on balconies?
Ross: (Chuckling) Hmm-Hmm.
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Ross: I, uh, I'll go see. (He goes in)
Ross: In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us. Eh, y'know what, better yet? A week.
Ross: Later! (Exits.)
Ross: Relax, Ill fix it.
Ross: Well hello! I'm Ross!
Ross: The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood.
Rachel: Ross, I don't, I just don't think it's going to fit.
Ross: (he puts it in his mouth) Nope! Something else. (Throws it back under the bed.)
Ross: No, I cant. I would, I really would, but my son is here; I cant leave him. Isntyou dont think theres any way?
Ross: (to Rachel) You see what men do! Dont tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!
Ross: Well, Im gonna go see her. I want to bring her something, what do you think shell like?
Ross: Wait a minute! No! Im the nice one! Im the one who danced with the kids all night! How How small are your feet?! (They all look down.)
Ross: Oh well. It probably wouldve been the most constructive solution.
Ross: Y'know, last night was embarrassing for you too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
(Ross throws his hands out in a What are you doing? gesture)
Ross: Thanks, I put a lot of extra thoughts on your gift.
Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.)
Ross: Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out.
Ross: My foot is stuck in the pocket.
Ross: So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?
Ross: So, Dr. Green, hows the old boat.
Ross: (checks) Yeah.
Ross: Why are we in bed together?
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Ross: And we didnt have sex.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, how's it going?
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyones attention please? Im uh; Im Ross Geller.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What?
Ross: Yeah!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
(Rachel turns to Ross stunned.)
Ross: What?
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Burt: (another professor) Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! (Ross frantically starts to change some as a female student, Elizabeth, approaches.)
Ross: Yeah? Sometimes it's (Does the fist thing.)
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
Ross: Okay! Ho-ho! We did not steal your thunder because we are not getting back together!
Ross and Rachel: Goodnight.
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing?
Ross: Seriously that's a lot of cups.
Ross: Yes, exactly!
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Are you sure? Because I can stay out as late as you want. I told you how I'm on sabbatical from work, right?
Rachel: Ohh wow! Im sorry, but Ross you kicked off your shoes!
Ross: What?! Over a stupid room!
(Ross turns and leaves.)
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Ross: Oh no, yeah no, that parts great!
Ross: A loser you did it with (To the salesman) 298 times!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Is that funny? Am I supposed to be laughing?
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Ross: Come on. (Helps her into bed as her phone rings.) I got it.
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
Ross: I know.
Phoebe: Ross?!
Ross: So uh, any ideas for the bachelor party yet?
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Monica: Ross, we can handle this.