words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
Prospective nanny: (in a sweet, caring voice) I think that's really smart. The easier we can make the transition for her, the better. (Ross and Rachel seem pleased with the answer.)
Ross: Thank you.
Ross: Boy, we uhm... hadn't really thought of that.
Rachel: Okidoki! (and she slams the door in the nanny's face while Ross crumples up the application form) Wow! We're never gonna find a nanny.
Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
Rachel: Okay... (Ross opens the door.)
Ross: And she's a little mannish...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. They're interviewing Sandy.]
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Ross: Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way)
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: (skeptic) So you're just like a... guy who's a nanny?
Ross: (on a yeah, right tone) Okay.
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Ross: Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. (In the other room Emma starts to cry.)
Ross: Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy!
Ross: Because, it's weird!
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Ross: King?
Rachel: (whispering and begging) Please? (Ross makes a "whatever" gesture) YES! Sandy you're hired.
Ross: You gotta be at least bi...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Sandy sit on the couch. Sandy holds Emma. Ross enters the apartment. Sandy and Rachel wipe their tears away with handkerchiefs]
Rachel: (in a tearful voice) Oh... Oh boy... (she turns around and sees Ross) Hi...
Ross: (very worried) Is everything allright?
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?
Rachel: Yeah! (to Sandy) Excuse me... (She walks to the kitchen with Ross and sighs)
Ross: Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.
Rachel: Look, Ross, he's just... Sandy is just sensitive, that's all.
Ross: (picks up a cookie) Okay, okay, see... that... that is the problem. He is too sensitive. (takes a bite from the cookie)
Ross: (speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing!
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.
Ross: Hey... there's sensitive... and there is too sensitive.
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica is in the kitchen and Ross enters.]
Ross: Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny?
Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines?
Ross: (looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters)
Ross: Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: ...a what? A what? What's the end of that sentence?
Joey: Uhm... A penis model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met?
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Science...? Academia...? Being a good father...?
Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
Chandler: So those were pity laughs? PITY LAUGHS? (Joey and Ross walk away from the kitchen)
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Ross: Yep! That's my thing...
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns.
Ross: Really? Sounded like Three Blind Mice.
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
Ross: Okay, okay... How exactly is a two month old supposed to appreciate puppets?
Joey: I wanna be mr. Wigglemunch. (and makes a "there" nod to Ross)
Ross: (shakes his head) Oh my God!
Sandy: Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus... (Ross goes to the kitchen)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's kitchen. Ross got a beer from the refrigerator and opens the bottle. Rachel now also enters the kitchen.]
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.
Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.
Rachel: Oh, come on Ross...
Ross: No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with...
Ross: Thank you!
Rachel: Well, you're the one who wants to fire him, so you're gonna have to do it. (Ross walks to the living room determined to fire Sandy)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Sandy is knitting baby clothes. Ross and Rachel walk into the living room.]
Ross: Here goes...
Rachel: I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits)
Ross: Sandy... Hi, we uhm... we kinda need to talk. I'm afraid it's not working out.
Ross: Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel...
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
Ross: Anyway, uhm...Well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings.
Ross: No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue.
Sandy: What is it...? (Ross hesitates) Please...? (he tilts his head)
Ross: You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
Ross: Why... I... I don't know. (Sandy tilts his head again) Uhm... errrr... maybe... maybe because of my father?
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Ross: I play squash...! Anyway, uhm... I uhm... I always get the feeling he thought I was too sensitive.
Ross: It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy?
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
Ross: Here come some more...
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Ross: Hey! (Listens.) Yeah-yeah, we're just having dinner. (Listens.) Uh, yeah, sure uh hold on. (To the gang.) She wants to say hi. (To Emily) Hold on.
Ross: Okay. (Ross starts frantically looking for a clock.)
Ross: No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available.
Ross: Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!
[The next one is from Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In.]
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Ross: Well lets just say (singing) Rosss caaaaan!
(Ross takes big steps leaving for Joey and Rachel's apartment, where Rachel is going through her papers.)
Ross: Thats okay, Im cool over here. Ill catch up with you later, Joey. (Joey is shocked.)
Ross: Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors.
Ross: That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures!
Ross: Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away.
Ross: Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
ROSS: It's the only possibility, Phoebe.
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Chandler: (to Ross) See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.
Ross: All right, there you go!
Ross: Yeah, okay, Scott!
ROSS: Wha, OK, now how do you know that?
Ross: So, you’re saying, uh, if I wear these pants I might be getting into hers?
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
JOEY: Hey Ross, I'm aware of what I owe.
ROSS: Whad'ya mean?
Ross: Uhh, it was fun. We, we just had coffee.
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Ross: Dont blame the questions!
Ross: Wow. Im sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. (Rachel giggles at that)
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Rosss apartment is nice! How come we don't hang out here more often?
Ross: OK. (closes eyes) I'm in my apartment...
Ross: Dude!
Ross: Oh, now you want a favour?
ROSS: I am your friend.
Ross: People can hear you.
Rachel: Nodded off!! Ross you were snoring. My fathers boat didnt make that much noise when it hit rocks!
Ross: Uh actually Joey, its the Cretasous period.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Theyre not a couple!
Ross: Oh yeah!
Ross: No.
Ross: I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Ross: Oh yeah!
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
Ross: Marcel, stop humping the lamp! Stop humping! Now Marcel, come back- (Marcel runs toward Rachel's room) come here, Marcel-
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
Ross: Hey, what you do on your own time...
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Listen, I-I need a favor. Umm, I was in the shower, and as I was cleansing myself, I ah, I-I, well I felt something.
Ross: Im gonna call her.
Phoebe: Perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring? Yknow Ross doctors are supposed to be smart.
(Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and )
ROSS: Yeah, so uh, is it sore or can you do stuff?
Ross: Uh, hello!
Ross: No! No! Of course it didnt mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can understand why Emily would think it meant something, yknow, because-because it was you
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
Phoebe: I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him.
Ross: Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!
Ross: Breathe.
Ross: So you were right?
Ross: Chandler!
ROSS: You're joking, right? You guys just walked through the door.
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
(Ross enters.)
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Ross: How might you be wrong?
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
Ross: But now! Im there! Im totally there! Im-Im finally where you are!
Rachel: Ross! What are you I'm sorry sir. I just, I think he just really likes you.
Ross: Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So
Ross: Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and we still have boyfriends and your career to cover.
Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.]
Ross: Oh my God!
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Ross: Oh, yumm!
Ross: This is beautiful!
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What are you saying?
Ross: Somewhere maybe along the equator?
ROSS: All right then.
Ross: So whats a matter, you need a dentist? Ive got a good one.
Ross: Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that. (everyone's interest is piqued, they all look over)
Ross: (To Joey) Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that.
Emily: (laughs) Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Are you kidding?!
Ross: Are you guys sure about this?
Ross: Hey!
(A woman with a steel drum and a guy with a xylophone start playing an instrumental version of "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Elvis Presley. A bridesmaid and a groomsman walk down the isle. Next are Rachel and Ross, who carries Chappy in his arms.)
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, its-its not the lecture ah, I mind, umm....