words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
Prospective nanny: (in a sweet, caring voice) I think that's really smart. The easier we can make the transition for her, the better. (Ross and Rachel seem pleased with the answer.)
Ross: Thank you.
Ross: Boy, we uhm... hadn't really thought of that.
Rachel: Okidoki! (and she slams the door in the nanny's face while Ross crumples up the application form) Wow! We're never gonna find a nanny.
Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
Rachel: Okay... (Ross opens the door.)
Ross: And she's a little mannish...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. They're interviewing Sandy.]
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Ross: Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way)
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: (skeptic) So you're just like a... guy who's a nanny?
Ross: (on a yeah, right tone) Okay.
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Ross: Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. (In the other room Emma starts to cry.)
Ross: Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy!
Ross: Because, it's weird!
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Ross: King?
Rachel: (whispering and begging) Please? (Ross makes a "whatever" gesture) YES! Sandy you're hired.
Ross: You gotta be at least bi...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Sandy sit on the couch. Sandy holds Emma. Ross enters the apartment. Sandy and Rachel wipe their tears away with handkerchiefs]
Rachel: (in a tearful voice) Oh... Oh boy... (she turns around and sees Ross) Hi...
Ross: (very worried) Is everything allright?
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?
Rachel: Yeah! (to Sandy) Excuse me... (She walks to the kitchen with Ross and sighs)
Ross: Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.
Rachel: Look, Ross, he's just... Sandy is just sensitive, that's all.
Ross: (picks up a cookie) Okay, okay, see... that... that is the problem. He is too sensitive. (takes a bite from the cookie)
Ross: (speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing!
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.
Ross: Hey... there's sensitive... and there is too sensitive.
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica is in the kitchen and Ross enters.]
Ross: Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny?
Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines?
Ross: (looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters)
Ross: Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: ...a what? A what? What's the end of that sentence?
Joey: Uhm... A penis model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met?
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Science...? Academia...? Being a good father...?
Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
Chandler: So those were pity laughs? PITY LAUGHS? (Joey and Ross walk away from the kitchen)
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Ross: Yep! That's my thing...
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns.
Ross: Really? Sounded like Three Blind Mice.
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
Ross: Okay, okay... How exactly is a two month old supposed to appreciate puppets?
Joey: I wanna be mr. Wigglemunch. (and makes a "there" nod to Ross)
Ross: (shakes his head) Oh my God!
Sandy: Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus... (Ross goes to the kitchen)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's kitchen. Ross got a beer from the refrigerator and opens the bottle. Rachel now also enters the kitchen.]
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.
Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.
Rachel: Oh, come on Ross...
Ross: No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with...
Ross: Thank you!
Rachel: Well, you're the one who wants to fire him, so you're gonna have to do it. (Ross walks to the living room determined to fire Sandy)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Sandy is knitting baby clothes. Ross and Rachel walk into the living room.]
Ross: Here goes...
Rachel: I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits)
Ross: Sandy... Hi, we uhm... we kinda need to talk. I'm afraid it's not working out.
Ross: Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel...
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
Ross: Anyway, uhm...Well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings.
Ross: No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue.
Sandy: What is it...? (Ross hesitates) Please...? (he tilts his head)
Ross: You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
Ross: Why... I... I don't know. (Sandy tilts his head again) Uhm... errrr... maybe... maybe because of my father?
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Ross: I play squash...! Anyway, uhm... I uhm... I always get the feeling he thought I was too sensitive.
Ross: It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy?
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
Ross: Here come some more...
Ross: Mon?
Ross: Wait a minute, look.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: We're all alone in an empty apartment.
Ross: No, no it's, um, it's not you, um, it's um, it's (turns and sees his Mom standing where Rachel is)
Ross: There it is.
Ross: And it works both ways.
Ross: Oh.
Ross: Uh, yeah, yeah I'll, I'm right behind you.
Ross: That only took me an hour.
Ross: Yep.
Ross: Bye sweetie.
Ross: Shoot.
Ross: You're my friend. I-I had to tell you.
Ross: Rachel. Rachel Rachel. (Sits down beside her) I love you the most.
Ross: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?
Ross: What?
Ross: What are you talking about?
Ross: I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, y�you know, everything is gonna be fine. The baby�s sleeping.
Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)
Ross: You let Rachel come back, and it’s done.
Ross: C'mon, you get the idea, ow-ow-ow we'll make our money back in no time!
Ross: Crazy.
Ross: I'm gonna tell Mom.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. (They go to the door. Ross is trying to stick his hand through and undo the chain; Monica pushes his hand back.) (To Ross) Hold on! (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
ROSS: Too easy? Too...The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms, too easy?
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
Ross: He is saving your butt, ah, unless of course Im stepping on some toes here, in which case I can just mosey on, Ive got plenty of people to help on the Interstate.
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Ross: No. Rachel hooked me up with a tux! But not just any tux, Batmans tux!
Ross: (gasps) Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. (kisses her) Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? (to Rachel)
ROSS: Any time. [He doesn't want to let her go]
Ross: (entering) Hello.
Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, its just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
Ross: (to Chandler) Are you intrigued?
Ross: Okay, okay, yes, it is. (waves) How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age.
Ross: Thats what?!
Ross: Listen. Oh hey, hey, the important thing was that she meant, she meant nothing to me!
Ross: Listen. Um, listen. Something you should... know... um, Rachel and I... we're kind of a thing.
Phoebe: Ross, its not that big a deal! So youll been divorced three times, youll still have a life, youll go on dates
Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
Joey: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, right? So, Im in my map and-and (Ross enters) Hey!
Ross: Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, so I am running, and running, and that, that is when I woke up. See I, I am so not ready to be a father.
Ross: No, I'm sorry. Look I don't think that's what you wanna hear right now but I can't help it. I love marriage.
ROSS: Marenge,
[Scene: Outside of Elizabeths dormitory, Ross is exiting after breaking up with her and we can hear his thoughts.]
ROSS: There we go. All better. (gives Ben back to Monica)
ROSS: How can you not believe in evolution?
Mona: No, no. Listen, Ross is too nice to say anything, but this is his apartment, and, and, we gotta have some boundaries, so why dont you go back to your place and give us some privacy?
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
(Mrs. Geller leaves as Ross re-enters the room.)
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
Ross: No, because your not upset.
Ross: Hey, what are you doing shopping at eight in the morning?
Ross: OK.... um, a weird thing happened to me on the train this morning...
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Dont! You cant just kiss me and think youre gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesnt work that way. It doesnt just make it better. Okay?
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Ross: Look, if youd had two failed marriages, youd understand!
Ross: Ah actually we dont. (Ross walks off)
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Ross: So, are you gonna see him again?
Ross: Okay, okay, okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
(Ross and Julie enter.)
(Ross recognises her and goes over to the couch, mouthing Oh my God
Ross: I'm gonna use the cushion.
Ross: What?
Ross: What?
Ross: Hey! Hey! If he's moving, maybe I should try to get his place!
Ross: Okay.
Ross: What are you talking about?
Ross: (moving over to stand in front of her) Okay, okay. This morning you said there was nothing so big that we couldnt work past it together...
Ross: There was no song. (to Monica) There was no song!
Ross: How's the maniac?
Ross: Well Im, Im a little slow. (To himself) Just as our children would be.
Ross: She is a kook.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Thank you.
[Scene: Rosss Bedroom, Ross is waking up. He straightens himself out on the bed and puts the covers over his head.]
Ross: Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?
Ross: No wait! Look, wait! Okay, you can hang up, but I'm gonna keep calling! I'm gonna, I'm gonna call everyone in England if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me!
Ross: Rach, do you uh, are you gonna separate those?
Ross: Hi, welcome, to an adult conversation.
Ross: Come on. (She gets on the bike.) All right, here we go. All right? (They start.)
[Scene: At Chandler and Joey's. Ross and Chandler are there. Ross is watching wrestling.]
Ross: (Pause) Of course I am! (Joey is relieved) Okay, let's go godfather.
Ross: Susan Sarandon.
The Man: (To Ross) Excuse me. (He puts up a flyer that has a sketch drawing of Joey and it reads, "Warning! Intruder! If you see this creep - call the cops!") You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently he's running around looking for some kind of a hot girl.
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
Ross: And!! Isabella Rosselini.
Ross: Are you insane? C'mere, Marcel, c'mon. (Marcel starts to go to him)
Ross: I've seen her at work, but I always figured, ah-huh? But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we're going out again tomorrow.
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Ross: (recovers his composure and starts typing) Respectfully, professor R. Geller. (hits <return>, closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: That would be me.
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
Ross: Okay!! Okay!!
Monica: Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie.