words in movies
RACH: Ross kissed me.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross, Chandler, and Joey are there eating pizza.]
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
ROSS: Yeah.
[Ross enters, distraught.]
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: That, that is funny. That is painfully funny. No, wait. Wait, yeah, that's just painful
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
ROSS: Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for ten years now. But now, I'm with Julie, so it's like me and Julie, me and Rachel, me and Julie, me and... [Rachel enters, carrying a tray]... Rachel. Rachel, Rachel.
RACH: [to Ross] Hey, you.
ROSS: How are you?
ROSS: Good.
ROSS: Hi, Julie. [nervous] Hi, Julie. Julie, um, how are you?
ROSS: [uncomfortable] Good, so everybody's here. Everybody's good. So, were you gonna play something, Phoebe?
ROSS: [impatient] Play it.
ROSS: [to Joey] Ssshh.
[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]
RACH: Did uh, Ross call?
RACH: Why didn't he call? He's gonna stay with Julie, isn't he? He's gonna stay with her and she's going to be all, "Hi, I'm Julie, Ross picked me, and we're gonna to get married, have a lot of kids and dig up stuff together."
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
ROSS: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
JOEY: Hey, here's a thought, Ross. [reaches for the computer]
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
[Ross gives him an insulted look.]
ROSS: Can't we just use a pen?
ROSS: I don't know. I mean, all right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes.
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
ROSS: I don't know.
ROSS: [long pause] She's not Rachel.
[Ross enters with a melancholy look.]
JOEY: [to Ross] Hey, so how'd it go with Julie? Did you, did you break her heart?
ROSS: Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway, I did the right thing.
RACH: Hey, do you guys have...[sees Ross, pauses]...hi.
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's.
ROSS: No, no, uh, it's not what you think. It's um the other thing.
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
ROSS: Well, uh.
ROSS: Really. It's always been you, Rach.
[Ross and Rachel hug.]
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
ROSS: Ok. No, hey, whoa, whoa, I'll get your coat.
[Ross leaves.]
[Ross walks back in, Rachel's coat in hand.]
ROSS: Hey, someone order a coat?
RACH: Ross, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see.
ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?
CHAN, JOEY, ROSS: No!
[Ross and Chandler stare angrily at Joey, who thinks he has come up with a good idea.]
ROSS: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world.
ROSS: No, you don't.
RACH: What is this? Ross, what is this?
ROSS: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?
ROSS: Now that's a little spoiled. He was supposed to type "little", the idiot.
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
[Rachel leaves, and Ross follows her into the hall.]
ROSS: No, no, wait, ok, ok, look at the other side. Look at Julie's column.
ROSS: No, Rach, come on. Rach! Rach, no, no! She's not Rachel, she is, she is not, Ra--Rachel?
PHOE: I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch, eating candy. It is raining out. Ross climbs up the fire escape and is knocking on the window.]
ROSS: Rach! Whoops! Rach, hey, open up, please!
RACH: [coldly] When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means go away. That doesn't mean please climb up the fire escape.
ROSS: I just wanna read something. It's your pro list.
ROSS: [reading his list] Ok, ok, number one: The way you cry at game shows. Number two: how much you love your friends. Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. Number five: how great you are with Ben.
ROSS: Number six: the way you smell.
JOEY: [opens the drapes] Hey, Ross! What are you doin'?
ROSS: Hey, Joey. You wanna open the window?
[He opens the window, Ross comes in, soaked.]
ROSS: I am, uh, I am...
[Ross runs to Rachel's bedroom, knocking on the door.]
ROSS: Rach, come on, open up. Rach, come on, come on, Rach. You got to give me another chance.
ROSS: No?
ROSS: Rach, come on, look, I know how you must feel.
RACH: [near tears] No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
RACH: Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. [to the others] I said don't go!
ROSS: You know what? You know what? If, things were the other way around, there's nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you.
[She closes the door in his face. Ross walks sullenly back to the couch and sits down. A moment of silence ensues.]
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
[Ross is at his apartment.]
ROSS: Hi.
MNCA: [to Ross] Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time.
ROSS: Look, can, can you do something for me?
RADIO: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. (With or Without You plays)
[Rachel seems touched. She pauses for a moment, then picks up the phone and starts to dial. Cut to Ross at his apartment.]
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
Joey: Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
Rachel: Yes it is! It is true! I went, I went after Ross in stupid London.
Joey and Ross: Die Hard!!!!!!
Ross: Joey, we just saw it!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Ross: Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize that the competition is fierce butI'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked and (He claps his hands.) I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it.
Chandler: (To Ross) I dont care, she slept with me.
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Ross: What happened?!!
Ross: No touch! No touch!
Ross: I think that would be best.
Ross: Okay. But not about this!
Ross: We fell asleep! That is all.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Challenge excepted.
RACHEL: (lowers voice to imitate Ross) "Yeah."� (Clears throat.)� "Me too."
Ross: No! No we dont!
Ross: Ive had better.
Ross: Because its weird!
Ross: We cant do it again.
Ross: (to Monica) Well, you were right. How can they do this to us, huh? It's Thanksgiving.
Ross: Sure, what do you got?
Ross: No, 10 is the highest.
Ross: Yes, very nice Rachel.
Ross: Go!
Ross: Yeah, it really was!
Ross and Joey: Oh! Thats nice.
Joey: Wow. (To Ross) Good speech.
Ross: What is Monicas biggest pet peeve?
Ross: Im sorry Rach, it was, it was really close.
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Ross: Actually, it wasnt that close.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: No. No. Nothing happened. I shut the drapes to uh, show her slides of my favorite fossils.
(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)
Ross: Oh. (He takes the picture and hugs her.
Ross: Its also a sign of friendship.
Ross: That is one good looking man!
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Carol is reading, Ross is talking to her stomach.]
Ross: Oh no-no, after you. (She grabs a chair and heads upstairs.) (When shes gone.) Oh my God! (He drops the box and Chandler cant pick it up.)
Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, Im-Im not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. Youre the one that bailed on us. Youre the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
(They enter the lecture hall to find Ross speaking in an English accent for some unknown reason.)
Ross: It really was.
Ross: Well obviously only one of us can keep dating her.
Ross: A lot of other gas smells
Ross: Okay, okay take a guess.
Ross: Rachel! I'll just call her back.
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Ross: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) There are tons of freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
Ross: What?! What is with everybody? Its Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day!
Ross: Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone.
Ross: Who wants to make some long distance calls?
Ross: Thats interesting, but check this out. I date her
Chandler: (To Ross) Why to save your dignity my man.
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Okay, okay. This can go on for a while.
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Ross: Hey, divorced men are not bad men!
Monica: Forty-two to twenty-one! Like the turkey, Ross is done!
Ross: Is-isnt it the best?
Ross: Yes? Yes?! How can I help you?
Ross: And somebody took a shot at me!
[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]
Ross: MY SANDWICH!!!!!! (Ross's scream scares a flight of pigeons away.)
Ross: Hey! So uh, was he excited about the tickets?
Monica: Oh absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders. (Ross starts to leave) Ross! Ross! Im kidding!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross lays a lot off small papers, shaped like the U.S. states onto the floor making a map with the states. Phoebe enters]
Ross: I am very very sorry.
Ross: -she, of course, she- uh- familiar with our.. special situation?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is telling Rachel about his class location predicament.]
Ross: Oh, Liam. So uh, what, were you guys playing soccer or somethingor should I call it (In an English accent) football?
Steve: Oh hey, Ross. Umm, see, I was thinking maybe you two could switch apartments because Phoebe's more our kind of people. Something to think about. (Walks away.)
Chandler: You wanna tell secrets?! Okay! Okay! In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers!
Ross: (entering) Hey everybody! Happy Thanksgiving!
Ross: oh, too late, too late! It's sent... oops sorry and so is the picture of you and the police man...
Ross: Well sorry, thats what I do on dates.
Ross: What? You forgot fourteen states?
Ross: It tastes like feet!
[Scene: A wintry February day in New York City, snowplows are clearing the streets. Inside Central Perk, all three girls are paying court to Ross.]
Ross: Youre great. And I-I know someday this will happen for you too. You just hang in there.
Ross: What? That's impossible.
Ross: Done! With time a-to-spare.
Ross: You have to respect the sea! (Storms off.)
ROSS: Well, ya know, someone should have called me.
Ross: You're on!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Monica are fighting over the remote.]
[Scene: A judges chambers, Rachel and Ross are filing their annulment papers.]
Ross: Man! (Monica mouths, "Im sorry.")
Ross: Phoebe, why is your bag moving?
Ross: (Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.
Ross: Come on! (They go to the jetway, Ross hands the tickets to the gate agent.) Here.
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Ross: Well, you know, I'd feel a whole lot better if you got dressed now.
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Ross: It's too cold.
Ross: Are you out of your mind?
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.