words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
Chandler: All right Ill have one. (he and Ross take another brownie,)
Ross: So whats a matter, you need a dentist? Ive got a good one.
Ross: Why? Why cant you go to him?
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?
Ross: (patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no hes not.
Ross: What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.
Ross: Well, they painted over the word Sapien for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, lets just leave it at that.
Ross: Yes, thats what I was going to ask, thank you.
Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths Dont worry, Ill be here the whole time. to Ross.) Yes! Thatd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths Yeah! and holds up her thumb.)
Joey: Hey-hey, Ross?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Hmm?
Ross: Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Monica: The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!
Ross: (entering) Hey! Everyone.
Ross: Hows my little boy?
Ross: (noticing the outfit he is wearing) Whatd you do, take him whaling?
Ross: Oh my God, he just said your name, thats great! Good job Ben.
Ross: And tell them what? The naked guy we stare at all the time isnt moving.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross has just finished putting Ben to sleep, and is entering from Rachels room.]
Ross: Well, hes finally alseep. About that ah, bump on his head?
Ross: Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Ross: Monica did it?
Ross: Monica?
Ross: Umm, did you notice anything wierd about Ben today?
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Ross: Oh, and also, hes, hes walkin kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and hes in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)
Monica: (coming out of the bedroom) You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! (starts to chase Ross around the living room)
Ross: Monica bang! Monica bang! (runs into one of the posts) Ow!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
Ross: Can we please focus here, a naked mans life hangs in the balance!
Ross: He does not look happy.
Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Ross: Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah...
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Ross: You ah, wanted to see me?
Ross: You bug me.
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Ross: Yeah. (Gets up, but then pauses when he realizes what that meant.)
Ross: Shes going in. Wait! Hes going in! Hes going in!! The doors closed! I, I cant see anything but the door closed!!
Ross: Okay, I have to do something. I mean, I have, I have to stop it!
Ross: Real magic does exist.
Ross: Hey, its been like three weeks!
Ross: Yeah, okay.
Ross: I was thinking more like a hundred.
Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.
Ross: So I finally heard back from Aunt Sheryl and apparently it wasnt a mistake. Ahh, theres-theres limited seating in the hall.
Ross: Pity food? Y'know what thats okay, all right, I dont need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
Ross: Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six!
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Ross: Oh-ho please. Ask her how?
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
ROSS: (seeing her also) Yeah, 'cause life's just that kind.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
Ross: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Yes. Yes, yes I did. (To Mona) But-but it was, it was just a one night thing. It meant nothing.
Ross: You get the dollhouse.
Joey: (to Ross) Why cant I find that?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
Ross: (looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters)
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie is sitting on the couch and Ross enters.]
Ross: Sure, whats up?
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
Mr Zelner: Yeah, his name is Ross. (Ross looks very surprised) What?
Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.
Ross: Hey, whats this?!
Ross: Yeah, I'm gonna stay and read my book. I just wanna be alone right now.
Ross: I would!
[Scene: The park, its dark outside and Monica and Ross are still fighting over the ball.]
Ross and Rachel: Uh-huh.
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Ross: You want me to take some girl Ive never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie.
Ross: You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
ROSS: No, you, ya know there's no need to make it u. . . how?
Ross and Rachel: Ahhhh!!
Joey: (to Ross) Hey.
Ross: Hi.
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Ross: Mon?
Ross: Joey, get out of the fridge.
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
Ross: Oh, fire! There, theres a fire! Fire!!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: No Phoebe, dont look! You dont want to see whats under there!!
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
Ross: (to the girl sitting next to him) Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell?
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Ross: Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me.
Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Thanks. You ready to go?
Ross: Anyone want me to appraise anything?
Ross: Um.... no. See, I might've had feelings for her at one timenot any more. I justI...
(Joey congratulates Ross, sees Chandler's look and abruptly stops.)
Ross: Why don't we just put 'poor little Tooty' out in the hall?
Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and Im so sorry for your loss.
[They get back to back and start rubbing against each other. Ross and Rachel enter.]
ROSS: Look, do you love her? And you don't have to be too emphatic about this.
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Ross: I want to take my tongue... and...
[Ross and Julie enter.]
Ross: Right.
Ross: (to Monica) You like it right?
Ross: But we do! (pause) It's gonna be ok, Rach!
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Ross: Okay when you're playing a machine and it hasn't paid out, a lurker waits for you to give up and then
Ross: Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday!
Ross: Oh my God, is that still...
Ross: No youre not.
Ross: Rach!
(People start getting up. Ross grabs Carols doll to hold it upside down like a football, slapping it with his other hand.)
Ross: Rachel...
Ross: Fine. Ill go.
Ross: Rach...
ROSS: Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
Ross: All right.
Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
Ross: Sorry.
Monica: Hey dad, what's up? (Listens) Oh God. Ross, it's Nana.