words in movies
Ross: (entering) Hey everybody! Happy Thanksgiving!
Ross: What, are we keeping Thanksgiving a secret this year?
Ross: What? That's like insanely easy!
Ross: What? You forgot fourteen states?
Ross: Wow, how many have you got?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross is sitting in the couch doing Chandler's game. Chandler is sitting in his barca-lounger. The girls are in the kitchen.]
Ross: Done! With time a-to-spare.
Ross: You know, I hate to lecture you guys, but it's kinda disgraceful, that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states. Did you ever see a map, or one of those round, colorful things called "a globe?" Hmm?
Chandler: Uh, Magellan? You got 46 states. (Smiles and hands Ross back his pad)
Ross: What? That's impossible.
Chandler: I am only one man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!
Ross: No, just give me another minute.
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Ross: This-this is crazy! I can do this! All right, uhh, I bet I can get all 50 before dinner.
Ross: You're on!
Joey: (gets up) All right. Don't look at my list, Ross, 'cause there's a lot on there that you don't have.
Monica: Ross, I'm gonna use yours, okay?
Ross: Pshhshhh!
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
Ross: Phoebe, why is your bag moving?
Monica: Rosss apartment is nice! How come we don't hang out here more often?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
Ross: Ohio!! Thank you!
Ross: What dog? There-there's no dog here.
Ross: Are you out of your mind?
Ross: Right, they are scary. (He jumps up, screaming) Ahh, she just ate a treat out of my hand!!!
Joey: Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin ice cream.
Ross: It's too cold.
Ross: (to Phoebe) It hurts my teeth.
[Time lapse, Ross is still doing Chandler's game. Tag is heading for the balcony.]
Ross: How can I not get this? I'm a college professor; I got 1450 on my S.A.T.s.
Ross: Damn, I forgot you were here.
Phoebe: All right. We're gonna take Clunkers to Rosss. We'll be back in a minute. (Gets up with Monica to do so.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross lays a lot off small papers, shaped like the U.S. states onto the floor making a map with the states. Phoebe enters]
Ross: Hey! What's she doing back here?
Monica: Relax, Ross. She's not made of ice cream!
Ross: Hey look, Phoebe. I, uh, I laid out the states geographically...
Ross: Yeah, but, but look what I'm...
Ross: Um, in Phoebe's room. You can't go in there.
Ross: Monica's crying. She's very upset about this whole Clunkers thing.
Ross: No. No, no. She doesn't want to see you right now.
Ross: Because you sent away the dog!
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
Joey: Ross, you need some help?
Ross: From you? (He does a weird desperate laughter, like he's almost crying) Yes, please!
Joey: (sits down next to Ross) First of all, Utah? Dude, you can't just make stuff up!
[Time lapse, Ross still laying a lot out the states.]
Ross: I hate America! When I finish this game, I swear I am moving.
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
[Time lapse, after dinner. Ross stands up from his self-made map.]
Ross: Okay, maybe this is so hard, because there aren't 50 states. Let me tell you something, I have 49 states, and there are no more! I-I think, I should be able to eat something.
[Ross whines and starts working again. The door opens and Tag enters.]
Ross: Tag? Y-You're going? (Comes over to Tag) Uh we didn't, uh we didn't get the chance to talk. Uh, so, where did you say you're from again?
Ross: Ah, what good are you. (Walks back to his map dejectedly.)
Ross: Delaware! (Starting to cry.) Delaware!
Ross: (hands Chandler his pad and walks in) I want my turkey now!
Chandler: You got it. (Starts looking at the pad, while Ross got the turkey out of the fridge and starts to unwrap and it) You got Nevada twice.
Ross: (pauses) I know.
Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Ross: Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah...
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Ross: You ah, wanted to see me?
Ross: You bug me.
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Ross: Yeah. (Gets up, but then pauses when he realizes what that meant.)
Ross: Shes going in. Wait! Hes going in! Hes going in!! The doors closed! I, I cant see anything but the door closed!!
Ross: Okay, I have to do something. I mean, I have, I have to stop it!
Ross: Real magic does exist.
Ross: Hey, its been like three weeks!
Ross: Yeah, okay.
Ross: I was thinking more like a hundred.
Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.
Ross: So I finally heard back from Aunt Sheryl and apparently it wasnt a mistake. Ahh, theres-theres limited seating in the hall.
Ross: Pity food? Y'know what thats okay, all right, I dont need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
Ross: Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six!
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Ross: Oh-ho please. Ask her how?
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
ROSS: (seeing her also) Yeah, 'cause life's just that kind.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
Ross: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Yes. Yes, yes I did. (To Mona) But-but it was, it was just a one night thing. It meant nothing.
Ross: You get the dollhouse.
Joey: (to Ross) Why cant I find that?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
Ross: (looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters)
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie is sitting on the couch and Ross enters.]
Ross: Sure, whats up?
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
Mr Zelner: Yeah, his name is Ross. (Ross looks very surprised) What?
Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.
Ross: Hey, whats this?!
Ross: Yeah, I'm gonna stay and read my book. I just wanna be alone right now.
Ross: I would!
[Scene: The park, its dark outside and Monica and Ross are still fighting over the ball.]
Ross and Rachel: Uh-huh.
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Ross: You want me to take some girl Ive never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie.
Ross: You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
ROSS: No, you, ya know there's no need to make it u. . . how?
Ross and Rachel: Ahhhh!!
Joey: (to Ross) Hey.
Ross: Hi.
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Ross: Mon?
Ross: Joey, get out of the fridge.
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
Ross: Oh, fire! There, theres a fire! Fire!!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: No Phoebe, dont look! You dont want to see whats under there!!
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
Ross: (to the girl sitting next to him) Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell?
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Ross: Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me.
Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Thanks. You ready to go?
Ross: Anyone want me to appraise anything?
Ross: Um.... no. See, I might've had feelings for her at one timenot any more. I justI...
(Joey congratulates Ross, sees Chandler's look and abruptly stops.)
Ross: Why don't we just put 'poor little Tooty' out in the hall?
Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and Im so sorry for your loss.
[They get back to back and start rubbing against each other. Ross and Rachel enter.]
ROSS: Look, do you love her? And you don't have to be too emphatic about this.
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Ross: I want to take my tongue... and...
[Ross and Julie enter.]
Ross: Right.
Ross: (to Monica) You like it right?
Ross: But we do! (pause) It's gonna be ok, Rach!
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Ross: Okay when you're playing a machine and it hasn't paid out, a lurker waits for you to give up and then
Ross: Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday!
Ross: Oh my God, is that still...
Ross: No youre not.
Ross: Rach!
(People start getting up. Ross grabs Carols doll to hold it upside down like a football, slapping it with his other hand.)
Ross: Rachel...
Ross: Fine. Ill go.
Ross: Rach...
ROSS: Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
Ross: All right.
Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
Ross: Sorry.
Monica: Hey dad, what's up? (Listens) Oh God. Ross, it's Nana.