words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
[Scene, The Airport, continued from last season, Rachel is waiting for Ross to come of the plane, when she sees he's coming off with another woman.]
Ross: (seeing her) Rach!
Ross: It was, it was great. Oh, what happened?
Ross: You're bleeding.
Ross: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
Monica: I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross!
Rachel: (entering, out of breath) Airport, airport. Ross, not alone, Julie, arm around her. Cramp, cramp.
Rachel: (to Chandler) You, you, you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slowpokes!
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
Ross: Everyone, this is Julie.
Ross: And bus.
Ross: The screaming guy?
Ross: You gotta hear this story.
Ross: 200 at least.
Julie: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
Ross: Well, we just wanted to say a quick hi, and then we're gonna go see the baby.
Ross: Yeah, it's really 6:00 tomorrow night our time.
(Ross and Julie exit)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: Hey, Rach, can I get some coffee?
Ross: Thank you.
(He goes to sit down next to Ross.)
Ross: I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was?
Ross: It was you, pal.
Ross: Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie, and I don't know, we're havin' a great time. And I have to say, I never would've gone for it with her if it hadn't been for you.
Rachel: (To Ross) Here's your lemonade.
Ross: I didn't order lemonade.
Ross: But...
Rachel: Go-go-go-go, come on! (Ross goes over to the counte) (to Chandler) So uh, what did you find out?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and the gang is watching Sumo wrestling on TV.]
Ross: Ironically, these are the guys who were picked last in gym.
Joey: (answering the phone) Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, it's Julie, for you. (Throws him the phone.)
Ross: (on phone) Hello? Hi.
Ross: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y...
Ross: Rachel! I'll just call her back.
Ross: (calls Julie back) Hi? Sorry, we got disconnected... (Walks away.)
Rachel: (to Monica) Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have.
Rachel: I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)
(Ross and Julie enter.)
Ross: Hi. Sorry we're late but we werewell, there was touching.
Paulo: (entering) Hey, hey Ross.
Ross: Hey, Paulo. What are you doing here?
Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.
Ross: No, not a problem.
Ross: How's the hair?
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Ross: Yeah. (Gets up, but then pauses when he realizes what that meant.)
Joey: You gotta tell Ross how you feel.
Joey: What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years.
Joey: Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.
Ross: (entering from the bedroom) Hey, what's goin' on? (Pats Chandler on the shoulder which causes him to jump.)
Ross: What?
Ross: What?
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you?
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
Ross: Well, I gotta go. Bye. Bye, Rach.
Ross: Yeah, that's kinda what I meant by "bye!"
Ross: Okay. (goes out onto the balcony)
Ross: What's goin' on?
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
Ross: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?
Ross: Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I mean I actuallyI-I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that.
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Ross: Okay. Okay. (They hug.) Okay.
(Ross opens his eyes.)
Ross: Oh my God, Phoebe, slow down!
Ross: Okay!
Ross: I am so over Janine. I mean, yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now shes like OLD NEWS!
Ross: (from across the wall) Walls are pretty thin, guys!
Phoebe: Ross, where are you going?
[Scene: The airport. Ross and Phoebe run in.]
Ross: What? We're never gonna make it!
Ross: (concluding his speech)... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. (pauses) Thank you!
Rachel: Im sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and Im sorry but thats... (notices a fire that Rosss candle has started) Oh my God!!
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe come running.]
Ross: Hey, I need a ticket.
Ross: Fine, two tickets, I need two tickets.
Ross: What? Hey, hey, listen..
Phoebe: Hey, it's me. Here's Ross.
Ross: Monica? Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica..?
Ross: Monica? Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica..?
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
Ross: That's alright. Listen, listen.
Ross: What?
Ross: Phoebe! Wow! No, no, no!
Ross: I am not doing this over the phone.
Ross: Yay.
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Rachel: Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean theyre probably not even listening!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: No, actually I was just saying it looks like we're not sitting together. But now you mention it, there was ice there that night... It was the first frost...
Ross: Where is she?
Ross: Rachel! Rachel!
Ross: No, no, I just have to talk to someone.
Ross: Rachel! Rachel Green!
Ross: No, no, no, but...
Ross: (surprised) Huh, I took a shot there.
Ross: Okay, the thing is..
Ross: Don't go.
Ross: Rachel?
Chandler: Yes, but, Ross you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs.
Ross: No, you don't.
Ross: No, you don't.
Ross: Hey, hey. I know you love me. I know you do.
Ross: I really thought she'd stay.
Ross: Let her off the plane!
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: Try to understand!
Ross: You got off the plane.
Ross: This is it. Unless we're on a break.
Ross: Wow.
Ross: Uh, I haven't.
(Chandler hugs her. Monica hugs Ross and Rachel as Chandler gets the stroller with the twins.)
Ross: I guess it's here because I GOT TENURE!
Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great!
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
Ross: I wont date. Ill uh, Ill be here, with you, all the time.
Ross: Damnit! I have this date tomorrow night and I have to look cool!
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Ross: Oh, don't worry about it! Just use your travel insurance.
Ross: Listen, Roland Chang, if things go well, Im gonna be out with her all night.
Ross: Can you say Da-Da? See, Im gonna tell your mommies you said it anyway, so you might as well try
Dr. Rhodes: Take your shirt off, and let's see what we're dealing with here. (Ross starts to take off his pants) What are you doing?
Joey: (not quite sure of how to answer that) Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carols great and Im sure youre a very attractive man, but I .
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
ROSS: Not at the concert.
(Ross points at him and exits.)
Joey: Dont stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot!
[Scene: The Museum of Prehistoric History (Ross's work); Ross is in the break room eating lunch as his boss, Dr. Leedbetter walks in.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Monica about his new baby sitting job.]
Rachel: Well lets see. Maybe he knows where Ross is. (They walk towards Chandler) Hey, how's it going (tries to look as un-interested in him as possible - checking out her nails).
Ross: Gunther. (To Chandler) Hey-hey! Why dont we put them on? Yknow get a picture of Batman and James Bond together.
Ross: Rach you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay?
ROSS: What? Let me see. [climbs up in the other adjoining stall]
Ross: Damnit! (Shuts the car off.)
Ross: And she feels the same way?
Ross: Well l-look okay, its probably just a mistake. Let me call Aunt Sheryl okay? Maybe you are invited and the invitation just got lost in the mail.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
Leader: Whos next? (goes over and stands behind Ross, whos feverishly writing on his form, and clears her throat to get his attention.)
Ross: Well, we're applying to a lot of them. Naturally our first choice would be one of the bigger state zoos, y'know, like, uh, San Diego... right? But that might just be a pipe dream, because, y'know, he's out of state. Uh, my vet, uh, knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility.
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Rachel: (to Gunther) Ill take a coffee. (To Ross) So how was your big date last night?
Ross: Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our Dad said, nobody won that game, and he was sick of our fighting, so he took the trophy and.... (pauses to collect himself, as he is on the verge of tears saying this) threw it in the lake.
Ross: A new place for a new Ross. I'm gonna have you and all the guys from work over once it's y'know, furnished.
Ross: You were under the pile of coats?
Ross: No, because she hasnt come home yet. And she hasnt been home all night! Shes obviously staying with that other guy, and Im the stupid moron who spent the whole night outside her apartment!
Ross: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richards son, youd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.
ROSS: Well, hey. You're an actor, I say you just suck it up and do it. (Rachel looks at him in disbelief) Or you just do it.
Ross: Oh! (He bangs his fists together.)
Rachel: Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to (Ross interrupts and shushes her.)
Ross: Are we off the bridge?
[And with that we start off on a series of clips from the entire history of Ross and Rachel, from Rosss point of view. The first clip is from The Pilot.]
(Chandler turns to watch her go and then sees Ross and Joey both with huge grimaces on their faces.)
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
Ross: BecDid you not hear me?! Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department, okay? Theyre wild! Why do you want to come anyway?
[Scene: hotel's bar, Ross and Mr. Oberblau are talking]
Ross: Em-Emily? (Looking around for her.) Em-Emily? (He runs to the door.) Emily! (He opens the door to reveal the Walthams standing outside.)
Ross: Okay. Okay. Yknow what? If you want to, we can do it one more time. I mean Id-Id be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now.
Ross: Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Putting his hand up to block his mouth.) Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I-I came to the city for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, lets talk more about you. Hmm.
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are entering and finding their table.]
ROSS: What about Ben? We can't bring a baby to a hospital.