words in movies
Monica: (to Joey) Whats so funny?
Joey: Oh, nothing, no. Its an acting exercise, Im practising my fake laugh.
Joey: What-whats so funny?
Gunther: (to Chandler) Oh, no-no, no-no-no, theres none of that in here.
Chandler: Okay, thats like the least fun game ever.
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Rachel: (to Ross) Whats your problem?
Ross: Nothing, its just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Phoebe: My little brothers getting married!!
Monica: Yeah, ah, but Pheebs dont you think hes a little young to get married?
Phoebe: What, hes 18.
Alice: Y'know it-its funny, um, Frank told me so much about you, but your not how I pictured you at all.
Frank: Well um, I was in ah Mrs. Knights ah, I mean Alice, sorry, Alice, I always do that. I was in her ah, Home Ec class.
Alice: Y'know, I mean, really we do realise that theres an age difference between us.
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, Chandler is listening to the hypnosis tape.]
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Phoebe: No-no, oh, Im fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking its tongue down my little brothers throat!
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Ross: Pheebs, if you dont tell him, soon hes gonna be married, and then youre gonna hate yourself.
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then hes gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I cant. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Joey: So, were walking down the street and I turn to you and I say, Hey, lets go hang out at Totally Nude Nudes, remember? And then, and then, you turn to me and say, Nah, lets just hang out at your place. Well, that was a nice move dumb ass.
Rachel: Hey Mon, lets give Pete a chance Come on, he was funny, he seems really nice, and that check thing was adorable.
Monica: Thats Bill Clinton.
Chandler: Whos he huggin?
Monica: Oh my God! Thats Pete! But why is Bill huggin Pete?
Rachel: Oh my God, Monicas gonna go out with a millionaire.
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
Joey: Look, the point is, theres a lot of women out there you havent even had sex with yet!
Ross: Yeah, he-hes right, hes right. This is your time y'know, yeah, youre young, youre-youre weird, chicks dig that.
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Ross: No the mans right, thats what I had with Rachel.
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Joey: I dont know, maybe I cant. I mean, maybe theres something wrong with me.
Frank: Its out there man! Ive seen it! I got it!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Phoebe: (to Joey) Youre Franks best man?!
(As Phoebe stands there in shock and disbelief, Chandler comes out of the bathroom and walks to his bedroom. Hes just got out of the shower and has the towel wrapped around himself high across his chest, and another towel wrapped around his head, like women wear towels. Joey watches Chandler wondering what the hell hes doing.)
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe is opening the door.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Its a real mustard-tastrophe. Can you help me?
Phoebe: Y'know what, forget it. Its ruined.
[Scene: Petes office, he is participating in a conference call with three other employees, each of whom are on a different TV screen that he controls with a remote.]
Pete: Okay, thats great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Pete: One meal! Thats all Im asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you dont have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even.
[Scene: Phoebes, she is coming home. She turns on the lights, and sits down on the couch.]
Frank: (hiding under a pile of clothes) Hi. (She jumps up screaming.) Wait, no! Just put the mail down. Its-its me!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, no, I dont, I dont know. But, y'know what, maybe its just all for the best?
Frank: Y'know, I just was finally happy y'know. For the first time in my life! After my Dad left me, and then, and then getting arrested for stealing those birds, and then, and then the whole punctured lung thing! I can, its still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather, but with Alice all that stuff kinda went away. And now its, and now its gone and I dont know why!
Phoebe: Uh, well I can tell you why. Its, its because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay?
Rachel: Oh my God! The millionaires here!
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Monica: Oh, thats sounds great.
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
Pete: Thats about 60 cents.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
(He starts to walk to the bathroom and hears the hypnosis tape from Chandlers bedroom.)
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is watching TV, and hes very depressed as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey, Frank. Look, okay, I know that you think I did like this totally evil thing, but I so didnt. Theres someone here who can explain this better than I can.
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, hes listening to the hypnosis tape again.]
Hypnosis Tape: Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke.
Joey: (Hes recorded his voice on the tape) Joeys your best friEnd. You want to make him a cheese sandwich everyday. (he laughs) And you also want to buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants.
Phoebe: All right, me too. (They go into her room and see that shes sleeping.) Should we wake her up?
(Outside in the street, Joey and Chandler arrive, to peer through the window at Phoebe, by bending down to look underneath the shops signa large steaming cup of coffee.)
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Rachel is entering and Ross is making some room on the shelves for his stuff.]
Chandler: I think thats the youngest girl ever to reject me.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Phoebe: Well lets just say its shes lucky she has a sweet ass, cause shes not so good at the writing.
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Chandler: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! (To his girlfriend) And you are about to marry a wonderful man! (She stunned and hes horrified.) Hey! Im marrying a dead woman!
[Scene: Rosss Hotel Room, he is letting Chandler in.]
Rachel: Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don’t think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn’t for you guys. See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it’s gonna take patience, but that’s ok.
Rachel: December 26th, huh maybe shes Santa Clause.
Pete: Y'know I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm, and a severely bruised Adams Apple, but that really hurt.
Monica: I cant believe it! Shes asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!
Ross: No! No! Im not! Its-its-its perfect! I mean its better than you just-just moving here, cause its us together forever, and thats-thats what I want.
Joey: No-no-no-no, hes not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!
Monica: Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. Its My Giant!
Rachel: Yeah but how do I start? I mean, whats-whats the first thing that I say? (They all pause to think.) Okay great! Thanks. (She starts to leave.)
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Ross: My God, the babys kicking. Thats great. Although I kinda wish I-I wouldve been there to feel the kicking for the first time yknow.
(Monica goes into Rachels room.)
Woman Giving Birth: (yelling from the hallway) Its coming! Its coming!
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Ross: Okay look, theres nothing to worry about. We have plenty of time. Theres a great baby furniture store on west 10th. Tomorrow, we will go there and we will get you everything that you need. Okay?
Rachel: I know. I know. Oh God. (Looking around) Theres no tissue! Can you grab me some toilet paper?
Monica: (looking at Rachels jeans) Where did you get those jeans?!
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is entering.]
Rachel: Yeah, Stevies an old family friend. (Hits Rosss chest)
Monica: Heres your key (Gets him one.)
[Scene: Stings Apartment, Phoebe has come to talk about Jack and is waiting for Stings wife, Trudie Styler, to enter.]
David: I mean, theres a statue in Minsk
Nurse: Its all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.
Chandler: Then we will sprinkle rose pedals on the bed and make love. Not just because its romantic, but because I can!
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag is sitting at his desk as Rachel walks up. She stops and watches him pick up the phone.]
Rachel: She is so good at throwing drinks in peoples faces, I mean I dont think Ive ever seen her finish a beverage.
Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, thats always a painful time! Yknow your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while youre sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.
Chandler: Are those my wife�s nipples?
Rachel: Okay. Hang up! Thats it! Come on!
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and its nothin. You look at me, and nothin. (He kisses her, more passionately this time) Nothing.
Phoebe: YOU’RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.) (to everybody) IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi! Yeah, Im calling on behalf of Monica Gellers eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. (Listens) (to Monica) Hes out of town, but does she want to see the on-call doctor?
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
Phoebe: Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to whats underneath it.
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Ross: So, do we really have to ask whos going up on the platform next?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Monica: Its a humdinger!
Ross: Actually this looks like pretty good! Yeah!(he turns and watches his back and there’s a sign on the back of the jacket, “boys will be boys”) Boys will be boys?
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
Cecilia: Youre not the fan whos dying are you?
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
[Scene: Rachels office, shes there as Tag knocks on the door and enters carrying a plant.]
Joey: Its pretty, Okay date of birth?
[Scene: The corridor. Amy knocks Joey’s door and Rachel opens the door.]
Pete: Its time for me to conquer the physical world.
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! Shes always best at us that wily minx.
Joey: Hey, whats up? (He has solved the problem of eating the steak, hes eating it with his hands.)
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Joey: So I uh, I just talked to the director. Thats it, were done for the day.
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Joey: Yeah-yeah right. Thats okay. Thats fine. Thats uh, pretty much what I was expecting. So uh, its no big deal. All right? I think Im gonna go. (Stands up.)
Phoebe: Oh, its incredible! I so want to be a Waxine girl.
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
Chandler: We share a wall! So either hes great in bed, or she just likes to agree with him a lot.
Phoebe: Well, yknow Im wearing layers and its warm.
Phoebe: Thats nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Phoebe: You think hes emotionally unavailable?
Chandler: Look, shes really nice. Okay? And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi, this Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? (Listens) Earl, thanks. (Listens) Hi Earl, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies Id like to talk to you about your toner needs. (Shes reading from the script.)
Monica: Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)
Ross: Well, I lost. Some little girl loaned her uniform to her nineteen year old sister, who went down to the U.S.S. Nimitz, and sold over 2,000 boxes.
Monica: In one year?! My God what did she eat? Her-her family! Thats not the point.
Julie: Well, if you like you can feel Rachels and then feel mine to compare.
Phoebe and Rachel: 32. (Joeys not buying it.)
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Richard: (outside the bedroom) Really?! Well, its just like everyone elses apartment. Its got rooms, walls, and ceilings.
Phoebe: HeyOoh, hows Hilda? Is she working out?
Ross: Im-Im sure thats not true.
Phoebe: All right so Earl, lets just forget about the people at the office, okay? There-theres gotta be someone else in your life worth sticking around for! What about-what about your family, your friends, or maybe your girlfriend?
Joey: (groans in disgust) Wow, its really long.
Joey: Thats ridiculous! Im not a "Star," just a regular famous actor.
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Joey: (looking out the window) Ewww! Ugly Naked Guy is using his new hammock. Its like a Play-Doo Fat Factory.
TV Announcer: Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, hes just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just...
(She goes out into the hall and when shes there and the door is closed; she rips off her robe to reveal her work clothes.)
Monica: Thats right! Maybe its time you took a good hard look at a mirror young lady old lady lady!
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Rachel: Well yknow what they say, the 23rd times the charm. (Chandler enters.) Aww, look at you all handsome!