words in movies
Phoebe: (not amused) Ha-ha. (She sits down on the couch.) No, its just Im so pregnant that Imy guitar doesnt fit anymore. So I thought til Im not, Im just gonna play all my songs on this drum. It sounds really cool!
Phoebe: Wow! Thats so great! Oh! Oh! Cougar.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are getting ready to go to the airport.]
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you dont think your son will think its yours and be horribly traumatised?
Emily: (checks the clock) Ohh, its time to go.
Ross: Oh, no-no-no, see, that-that clocks a little fast, uh, we have 17 minutes. Huh, what can we do in 17 minutes? Twice?
Emily: Well thats ambitious.
Emily: Thats Carol with your son!
Ross: Uhh, believe me when hes older, hell understand.
Susan: Hey, its so nice to finally meet you!
Carol: Ohh, yknow, Susans gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
Emily: Oh, theres tonnes of terrific stuffIll go with you!
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Ross: Oh come on! Thats-thats true.
Phoebe: Ugh! No! This is so hard! I went through this whole book (Holds up a book) and found nothing! I want a name thats really like, yknow strong and confident, yknow? Like-like Exxon.
Joey: Oh, want a good name, go with Joey. Joeys your pal. Joeys your buddy. "Where is everybody?" "Well, theyre hanging out with Joey."
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
Joey: I knew I shouldnt have mentioned it! Thats what I wanted to name my kid!
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
Monica: Yknow what? It really creeps me out choosing other peoples sex clothes.
Ross: Oh. Whats wrong with Ross?
Phoebe: Well, its just yknow that something like this would never to like The Hulk, yknow
Ross: Actually that-thats not true, in The Incredible Hulk uh, No. 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found (Sees everyone staring at him and stops.) Yknow, ugh, nevermind, my girlfriends a lesbian. (Leaves.)
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
Phoebe: Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if its like yknow, Chanoey?
Chandler: Okay, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, hell never be President. Theres never gonna be a President Joey.
Joey: All right look man, I didnt want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! Its not even a name; its barely even a word. Okay? Its kinda like chandelier, but its not! All right? Its a stupid, stupid non-name!
Joey: So I guess its Joey then!
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
[Cut back to Rachels date.]
Joshua: Yeah, its-its my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I wouldve told you about it, but I didnt know they would be here.
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
Joshua: Yeah-yeah, its this huge place, and-and its got this gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say?
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Carol has come to pick up Ben.]
Carol: Hey! Hows Ben?
Ross: Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, "No." So, hes sweeping. (We see Ben playing with a broom and a dustpan.)
Carol: Ooh, yeah! She said shes having sooo much fun with Emily.
Carol: Whats too much fun?
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
Rachel: Whoa-whoa, theres two living rooms? God, growing up here, this place mustve been a real babe magnet.
Joshua: Hey, heres an idea. Why dont uh, I put the food in the fridge and we can eat it later?
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, continued from earlier.]
Rachel: Ohh! Its so nice to meet you. (She goes over and shakes their hands.) Hello.
Rachel: What? This-this, no, oh no, no-no-no, this is notthats-thats not what it is. See, see, okay, I work in fashion, see and-and, this is a real dress actually. Its-its, theyre-theyre wearing it in Milan, so part of my job is too wear the clothes, and then I see how people respond, and then I report back to my superiors at Bloomingdales, so And obviously in uh, in-in this case, (She grabs a pen and paper) I am going to report back, "USA not ready."
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new name in Phoebes book of names.]
Joey: Its not that bad.
Chandler: Its Clint. Its Clint! (He heads for his bedroom.)
Chandler: Its Clint! Clint!
Joey: Whats up with Gene?
Rachel: No, its all right. I got nice boobs. (Phoebe and Monica nod there heads in agreement.)
Ross: So! Poetry? Susans gay! Theyre being gay together!
Monica: Emilys straight.
Rachel: Shes totally right! When we were together, you got all freaked out about Mark and there was nothing going on.
Chandler: Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, its probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women So, as of 4 oclock tomorrow, Im either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler and Ross are there. Monica enters]
Carol: Its not that kind of anniversary.
Monica: Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that Im not gonna have and its freaking me out. I dont know what to do about it.
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
Joey: Uh, no, shes at dance class.
[Scene: Rachels Room, Phoebe is entering.]
Joey: Its just I cant because my manager said I (Gets an idea) (Starts singing) "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie
Rachel: Oh yes I do. I do. I believe that there is one perfect person out there for everyone. And do you know how you find him? You stop looking for him. Thats why I stopped looking for Russell Crowe. Hell find me.
Rachel: Please, make sure she comes. Its really important to me, I mean its my mom!
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And its yknow, its kinda like . its a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
Janine: Its clean.
Janine: Its dry.
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
Monica: (opens the door wearing a robe, but leaves the chain on) Hey, whats up?
Phoebe: Hi, its Phoebe. Listen someones gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehack, cause its like 9:15 now, and Im not there.
Joey: I dont know, maybe I cant. I mean, maybe theres something wrong with me.
The Director: Peel the onion. First of all, hes good looking.
Monica: Youre really sticking with the shell necklace huh? (Points to necklace of shells hes wearing.)
Kim: Thats not true?
Ross: Sweetie, you gotta relax. Everythings gonna be great, okay? Come on. Come on.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rosss bachelor party. Ross is thanking Joey for the party.]
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it .Oh My God, Im a women!!!
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Frank: Oh, excellent. (starts to melt the fire extinguishers hose.)
Mark: Well, then hes, hes probably just, out.
Rachel: But honey, I think shes moving in with Chandler.
Chandler: (entering, sees Rachels throw) Ni-hi-ice!
Will: Nope. Uh, its okay. Its just uh, God I hated her.
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, why? Whats up?
Joey: Its cute, huh?
Joey: Ah. (Joey walks to Chandlers bag by getting as far away from Chandlers bed as possible.)
Ross: No, no, really, Ive got to take the car back anyway, Im spending all day tomorrow with Ben, Its fine, no guilt I promise.
Ross: Some would say shes attractive, yes.
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Rachel: Its Robert Bobby.
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
Ross: And thats not against your oath?!
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Monica: No. No, just, just, just a couple more boxes. It-it-its no big deal, all right, Im-Im cool. You gotta help me out with a couple more boxes!
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
Phoebe: Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So hows the game?
Richard: Its okay! Shh! Hey. Hey. (Hugs her) Shhhh.
Phoebe: Oh, my new Mom, who-whos a big, fat abandoner! (starts to go upstairs)
Chandler: Okay, listen this really hurts. Lets go.
Emily: (with her coat on, shes leaving with Ross) Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Phoebe: But, its not like were losing anything. Y'know?
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
(Tims beeper goes off and he answers it.)
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
[Rachel reaches for Rosss plate]
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Chandler: Hey Joe whats up?
Chandler: What? Thats terrible!
Rachel: Thats right!
Phoebe: Ooh, whos it for?
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Chandler: I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Gary: Its candy time! My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven.
Janice: Hes a keeper. How are you feeling?
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
Monica: Anyway, it just doesnt seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? Its a lot of work.
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Bobby: Well its just me and my pal Rooster, the bands name is Numb Nuts.
Joey: (Voice cracking) Well thats like summer in a bowl.
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, they both enter.]
Chandler: Thats what you got me?
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Years with you.
Chandler: Thats great!
Joey: No-no-no, no its uh, its okay.
Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Phoebe Sr: Uh-huh. Wow! Well, look! Theres Frank. (points to the picture.)
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
Chandler: (comforting the duck) Everythings gonna be all right. Okay, Dick?
Chandler: Oh thats too bad.
Lisa: Do I? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, thats your fault. I say.
Chandler: All right, lets play one more hand! One more!
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
(inside Chandlers apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr. Heckles, and screams.)
Chandler: So shes just waiting over there for ya?
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Rachel: Thats right!