words in movies
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Chandler: Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, theres a big selling calendar, eh?
Joey: Oh, cause you can just match the evaluation to the exam with the same handwriting and boom, theres your admirer. (Ross is stunned.)
Chandler: A hot girls at stake and all of the sudden hes Rain Man.
Ross: Its a girl! Anyway, it wouit wouldnt matter. Okay? Because Im a teacher and shes a student.
Ross: Besides, theres a big age difference.
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Phoebe: Whats a Movement class?
Monica: Its Chandlers way of pretending he didnt take mime.
Joey: Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!
Elizabeth: Oh, because I was thinking, the semesters over; youre not my teacher anymore.
Monica: Oh well, its not so bad.
Monica: Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
Chandler: Hows your room Rach?
Rachel: Everythings ruined. My bed. My clothes. Look at my favorite blue sweater. (Hold it up.)
Phoebe: Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
Rachel: Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.
Chandler: God, its great to catch up! I cant believe how long its been!
Chandler: (on phone) Oh thats great! Good for you.
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
Chandler: (laughs) Oh thats great, my friend Joeys in the movie business.
Chandler: (giggles) My friends name is Joey.
Dana: Apparently Howies editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Yknow I-I-I havent spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Rachel: Hey! Hey-hey, now this was no ones fault Pheebs. Okay? It was an accident.
Joey: This right here is where I keep the pizza. (He points to the chair.) And uh thats where the napkin is. (Points to the floor next to the chair.)
Phoebe: Whats that smell?
Ross: Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyones name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.
Ross: Umm, its Cutie McPretty.
Elizabeth: Ohh thats so sweet!
Ross: Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.
Fireman #2: No, there was an appliance left on in the bathroom. Its looks like a curling iron.
Rachel: Well, dont look at me! My hairs straight! Straight! Straight! Straight!
Joey: This is where I keep the pizza. (Its the same location as before.) AndHey! Where did the napkin go?! (The napkin is not in its spot.)
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
[Cut to Joeys, hes on the phone.]
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Monica: So its okay to date a student.
Ross: Well, not really. I mean technically its-its not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.
Joey: Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, thats notNo-no-no!
Monica: Hey! Hows it goin?
Phoebe: Oh thats all right. Im still full from your homemade potato chips.
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Rachel: Oh but look! Thats gonna leave a stain!
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
Ross: Thats right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, were dating. And you may frown upon that, but were not gonna hide it anymore.
Burt: Theyre gonna fire you! You cant date a student! Its against the rules.
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Chandler: (entering, sees Rachels throw) Ni-hi-ice!
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Joey: Thats right, all the ladies want to stay at Joeys.
Phoebe: No but at Monicas you can eat cookies over the sink!
Phoebe: God, what a mess. (She grabs the bowl and heads for Monicas.)
Elizabeth: For what its worth I did appreciate you standing up for me. It felt really nice. It kinda made me like you even more.
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Elizabeth: Just hearing you describe it as forbidden, its really hot.
Ross: Well I-I-I dont care how hot it is its-its uh, its wrong.
Ross: (feeling it too) No! No! Its wrong! Its-its-its naughty. Its taboo.
Ross: Lets also get a hot plate!
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
Rachel: Im sorry. Im sorry. Its just Its just so sad!
Joey: Its still a tiny bit on fire there.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers new apartment, Chandler is putting something away under the sink.]
Phoebe: Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. Its over!
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
Joey: So uh, hey, that uh, that wedding ring, huh? Man, thats nice!
Ross: I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachels father. Look I I made a mistake, but its only because I really, really like you. Really!
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels new apartment, Rachel and Phoebe are making their answering machine message.]
Phoebe: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, its on the counter in your apartment.
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
Phoebe: Oh wow. What, do you think maybe hes gonna tell you that hes gay?
Rachel: Yeah! Its weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
Phoebe: Yeah, she was bald, shes not now.
Joey: I know! I mean its not like we werent cool about it.
Joey: Yes thats the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I!
Chandler: Okay, lets play my game now.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.
[Scene: Jasons apartment, Phoebe has gone to break up with Jason.]
Rachel: (not seeing Ross) Whats your favourite thing about summertime?
Phoebe: Oh, this ones for Chandler. Here.
Dr. Green: The wedding! Theres going to be a wedding. Young lady, dont you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! (Rachel pauses) Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!!
Joey: Im sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and its either this or a bathrobe! Look, whats more important, the way Im dressed or me being with you on your special day?
Monica: Oh my God, shes not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?!
Ross: Thats okay, Im not so crazy about myself right now either.
(Theres a knock on the door, he shuts the TV off, and answers it.)
Ross: No, thats, no, as long as youre okay. So Ill ah, Ill see you tomorrow.
Chandler: Okay, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and shes gonna know.
{Transcribers Note: She puts the key into the ignition, which is on the left side of the steering wheel. Does anyone know why that is? Its a tradition left over from Porsches racing history. The worlds greatest endurance race is the 24 Hours of LeMans. Which is in France and runs for 24 hours straight from noon on Saturday through the dark of night and finishes at noon on Sunday. In the 60s LeMans had a unique start where the drivers would actually start the race outside of the car and across the track. At the start of the race, the drivers would run across the track, get in the car, buckle up, start the car, and drive off. Porsche wanted to reduce the amount of time that took. Since all cars to that point had the ignition switches on the right side of the steering wheel, that required the drivers to use their right hand to grab the seat-belts, put the car in gear and start it. The drivers left hand did nothing. Porsche in order to save a few seconds in a 24-hour race; moved the ignition switches to the left side of the steering wheel so that the driver could start the car with his left hand while grabbing the seat-belts with his right hand. Thats why every Porsche car built since then has the ignition on the left side of the steering wheel.}
Rachel: Okay, lets do it. Ill move in.
Phoebe: No ones here! (Monica looks at her.) Oh damnit!
Ross: Uh, no, its-its just this person.
Ross: I think its coming from your bag.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Monica: Because shes not gonna get to keep the babies.
(They both go to Chandlers bedroom to get his coat.)
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
[Scene: Rachels New Office, shes interviewing a potential new assistant, Hilda.]
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
Phoebe: No! (Rosss phone rings.)
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
Joey: Twelve hundred dollars? You think I have $1200? Im home in the middle of the day, and I got patio furniture in my living room. I guess theres a few things you dont get from book learnin.
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Joey: Right. Right. The wedding, gotcha. But I mean, its gonna start a little late right? I mean, weddings start late. Right?
Monica: You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! WhatWhy wouldnt you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! (Frannies husband walks up.) Stuart!
Monica: Oh, thank you! (The gang exhibits signs of quiet apprehension and wears knowing glances.) (Monica giggles.) Whats going on?
Phoebe: Well, all right. 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high, thats pretty amazing too.
Rachel: Really?! (Taking his resume) Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so whatswhat iswhats your name?
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
Dr. Schiff: So, hows it going?
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Monica: Oh, come on its my wedding! That can be my present.
Ginger: Ah well, its nubbin. Nothing! Umm. Y'know what, Ill see you later. Okay. (She leaves and in the hall we see her shake her shoulders like when someone runs their fingernails across a blackboard.)
Tall Guy: No, no. Shes fair game if you ask me, sorry buddy!
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Rachel: Oh Ah! (Sees a big stuffed gorilla) Oh my gosh theres something every mother needs, a giant stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment! What are people think (Reads the card) Oh you guys I love it.
Rachel: Okay Ross come on lets just forget about the condoms.
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
Rachel: I know, its sick.
Monica: Okay, does it involve something to do with Petes computer company?
Joey: Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot probably. Besides its getting darker and more painful, that means its healing.
Rachel: Umm, well lets see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
Ross: (grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are youOkay thats not funny! Just stop horsing around!
[Cut to the hallway outside the room, Ross is going to see which table hes at and sees a beautiful woman doing the same thing.]
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
Chandler: Okay so you mean no as in, "Gee Chandler, what an interesting idea. Lets discuss it before we reject it completely."
Joey: Wh-wh-whats going on? Wh-whats this about L.A.?
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
Joey: Oh, its Rosss bachelor party.
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
Joshua: Its this way? Sorry. (He walks past her and she again admires his butt.)
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
Lewis: No hes not! Hes totally yanking your chain! Hes done this with three other teachers!
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Monica: Do you wanna live outside?! Because its gettin cold! (To Phoebe) She gets tons of catalogs and umm, shell fold down the pages of the things she thinks that Id like.
Monica: Sorry, lets go back! Cause youve got more to say.
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Chandler: Hey Rach! (She breaks up and goes back into Monicas.)
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
(Joey hugs Rosss neck and has a look of complete contentment on his face which, after a short while, causes David and Matt to start laughing.)
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Monica: I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like its snowballing, yknow?
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues to cry.]
Eric: Oh, I have a friend whos a cop and he got it for me.
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?