words in movies
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
Joey: Oh, you have no idea. And-and when were on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and its like somebodys ripping out my heart!
Phoebe: Oh, its so great to see you feeling like this!
Phoebe: Wait, am I missing something though? Cause I thought death was something thats supposed to be sad, in a way.
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]
Chandler: Oh, thats-thats okay, no problem. (He starts to look around her office.)
Rachel: Honey um, honey, you do realise that we dont keep the womens lingerie here in the office?
Chandler: Thats the stuff! (quickly grabs it)
[Rachels boss, Joanna, enters]
Joanna: Bing! Thats a great name.
Chandler: Thanks, its ah, Gaelic, for Thy turkeys done. So ah, Im gonna go, nice, nice meeting you.
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, whats wrong with him?
Rachel: Oh, nothing, hes just goofy like that, I actually, hardly notice it anymore.
Rachel: No!! No! Hes not married, or involved, with anyone!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. Its a huge dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.]
Monica: Look at it! Ohhh! Wallpapers a little faded, thats okay. Carpets a little loose. Hardwood floors!!
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Oh Monica! Its so beautiful.
Monica: Whats this?
Phoebe: Thats a dog, every house should have a dog.
Phoebe: Well, maybe its so big because the house was built on radioactive waste.
Phoebe: No, no, thats the ghost for the attic.
Phoebe: Okay, obviously you dont know much about the U.S. government.
Ross: Sure, whats up?
Rachel: Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, shes gonna love me.
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-thats it, thats it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? Theyre not the right size, theyre not Victorian, and they just dont go.
Woman: Hi, oh, Im Lauren, Kates understudy.
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Ross: Hey, whats this?!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, its the slide instead of stairs. Watch this. (She slides a doll down the slide)
Monica: Its very interesting, Phoebe.
Rachel: Whats this?
Chandler: (entering) Hey, my Fathers house does that!
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and theres nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Joanna: Oh, and hes got such a good heart! Doesnt he have a good heart?
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
The Director: (returning) Okay, Im afraid to say this, but lets pick it up where we left off.
Joey: Hey, its gonna be all right.
Kate: Well, Adrians looking for a reason to stay, right? Victor cant just kiss her, hes gotta, gotta really give her a reason, y'know?
[cut to Joeys bedroom, Joey and Kate are emerging from under the covers.]
Kate: Yeah, thats pretty much what I had in mind.
Ross: Its a little early to be drinkin.
Monica: Youre kidding?! Thats great!
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming cause, cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like hes been processed by the devil, or something.)
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Chandler: Thats what you say at the end of a date.
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
[Scene: Rachels office.]
Sophie: Maybe hes intimated by really smart, strong, successful women.
Rachel: Why hasnt he called Rachel? Why? Why? I dont understand. Why? He said hell call. Why? Why? Chandler Im telling you she has flipped out, shes gone crazy!
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Chandler: Nooo!! Shes really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
Rachel: I dont care! I dont care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows its actually ended. And, I dont care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
Chandler: All right! Fine! But its just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I dont want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
Rachel: Thats fine!
Chandler: Thats just a lot of big talk, y'know.
[He closes the door and walks over to get something from the fridge. He starts to smell something and turns around to see Phoebes dollhouse smoking. He runs over and takes off the roof to reveal that the dollhouse fire.]
Ross: Oh, fire! There, theres a fire! Fire!!
Kate: Nooo. And theres really no reason he should find out, so ah lets not make a big deal about it, okay?
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
Monica: Oh, thats okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. Theres....been a fire.
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
Ross: No Phoebe, dont look! You dont want to see whats under there!!
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
Chandler: Its not a big deal. Its, just its right here, (points to his eye) and its all the time.
Rachel: Sophies desk.
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica is cleaning with a vacuum and then she cleans it with a dust buster. The guys enter the room.]
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Phoebe: Okay, lets talk outside.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
[Scene: Rosss lawyers office, his name is Russell and has just been told by Ross about his current situation.]
Joey: (turning and whispering to Monica) Shes not crazy is she?
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Rachel: Whats up, Ross?
Chandler: Honey, its gonna be okay.
Monica: Rachel! Rachel! You havent touched Eldads hair!
Ross: Okay, good stuff. Umm, well shes-shes sweet and pretty and
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Rachel: Oh but look! Thats gonna leave a stain!
Chandler: Okay. But if you dont come back soon, (She leaves and closes the door) theres pretty much nothing I can do about it!
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
Chandler: Hang on, she’s right here. (he enters the living room and hands the phone to Monica) Someone's on the phone, for ya.
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
Phoebe: Well, hes never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week!
Monica: Because its my apartment!
Rachel: All right! Yknow what? Thats it! You wanna do it?! Lets do it!
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, she has just lost her flower to Chandler.]
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, whats the matter?! Talk to the captain!
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Chandler: Hey! Hows the boat?!
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Monica: Whats wrong Phoebe?
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
Chandler: Cause its gross.
Rachel: Yeah I know its really boring, but its like a big deal. Anyway, I was thinking about renting Cujo sometime.
Rachel: Times up, now your dead.
Phoebe: Come on, its not that big a deal!
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
Joeys Grandmother: No! I did!
The Producer: (walking into Macs office) So uh, heres your office set!
Phoebe: Come on! The boss that fires a guy thats just been dumped, bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy thats just been fired, blond bitch!
Ross: Lets give it a shot.
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
Chandler: Well, lets see (Finding the picture he wants.) Okay uh, is that her? (Pointing to the picture.)
Chandler: Mr. D, hows it going, sir?
Phoebe: Thats what you think.
Chandler: Well, actually its a hockey team, so its angry Canadians with no teeth.
Parker: Oh well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow old friend, bow-wow. So wheres the party?
Phoebe: Ameri-can. Y'know its a very hard language. Lets do it again.
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
Rachel: Thats nice.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats right.
Monica and Phoebe: Oh, thats great!!
Rachel: Its the same story.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
Joey: Ill be playing Drake Remorays twin brother, Stryker!
Tag: Thats it. Thats my whole name.
Hypnosis Tape: Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke.
Monica: I cant tell you. Its a secret.
Ross: Thats, thats pretty. (They start to dance and Gert tries to step on Rosss feet, but he pulls them out of harms way.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing there Gert?
Chandler: Well, thats the best kiss Ive had with anyone Ive ever met in a mens room.
Monica: Oh, theres banana on it.
Rachel: (seeing whos trapped) Hey
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then hes gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I cant. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Chandler: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: Nothing, hes just really believes in that.
Rachel: Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight? (Shes not quite sure of that one.)
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
Ross: Umm, okay, yeah, sure. But wh-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
Tag: Hi! Rachel Greens office.
Woman: I bet its fast.
Tag: Rachel Greens office. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Thats a good idea! I bet they have one of those wind machines! Yknow (Does the whole hair blowing in the wind model type poses.)
Ross: She is not (Realizes) Shes gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I cant believe this.
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Hey you guys! Whats happening?
Chandler: Yeah that was stupid. Lets not do that.
Rachel: Well yeah, sure, whats up?
Rachel: Whys that?
Monica: Thats right! You lose sucker!! (Pause) Please still marry me.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Rachel: Hey, honey! Whats the matter? (Monica shows her, her hat.) Fine, I was just trying to be nice! Whoa!
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, its the same arrangement as before.]
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Phoebe: Yeah thats great! Next to that, Chandler wont look so stupid.
Rachel: Yeah. Ahh, heres a box of your stuff. (hands him a box)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica carries a box out of Rachels room.]
Phoebe: Thats a good idea for a business!
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Phoebe Sr: (entering) Hi! Whats going on?
Monica: Thats it! Take it! Take it! Take it!
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Chandler: You are aware that shes not a monkey, right?
Phoebe: Yeah I mean its probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is getting ready for Chandlers arrival. He enters and finds the place lit with candles and dinner on the table.]
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Monica: Phoebe, hes gotta be in the room for that to work.
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)