words in movies
Phoebe: Why?! Whats happening to the coffee house?! (Monica looks at her.) Oh! (Realizes.)
Monica: Thats much better.
Chandler: Whats up?
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You wont believe what Monicas older brother just said to me!
Monica: Well, so far I have uh, my brides maids dresses wont get picked up, my veil gets lost, or I dont have my something blue.
Joey: Yes thats the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I!
Rachel: Oh thats great!
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
The Director: Okay, all right. Lets do it. (He walks off.) And Action!
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom) Okay. Heres a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces.
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
(Chandlers Mom enters and Chandler meets her by the door.)
Chandler: Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (Shes wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyones attention please? Im uh; Im Ross Geller.
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
Ross: Hey, wheres Chandler?
Joey: Uh, I think hes in Rachels room. See ya. (Exits.)
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
Rachel: Shes steaming her dress, why? Whats up?
Ross: I think Chandlers gone. (He hands her the note.)
Phoebe: (walking up) Whats up? (Rachel hands her the note and she reads it.) Tell Monica Im sorry. (Pause) Tell her yourself!
Rachel: Yeah but, maybe its not what we think. Maybe its tell Monica Im sorry I drank the last of the milk.
Phoebe: Or maybe he-he was writing to tell her that-that hes changed his name, yknow? Tell Monica Im sorry.
Phoebe: Dont be so negative! Good God! Isnt it possible that Sorry is sitting in there (Joey and Rachels apartment) right now?!
Richard: Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (Hes holding a script.)
(Hes still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Gunther: Hes getting married tomorrow right?
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Phoebe: Okay. Well theres one down.
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Phoebe: Yknow she might not even notice hes gone.
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
Rachel: Im sorry. Im sorry. Its just Its just so sad!
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Rachel: I know. I know. Oh God. (Looking around) Theres no tissue! Can you grab me some toilet paper?
Phoebe: Yeah. (Looks.) Oh, thats gone too. This is Monicas bathroom right?!
Phoebe: Oh heres a whole bunch.
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bathroom, the scene is continued from earlier.]
Phoebe: I know! Monicas gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new?
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
Rachel: All right, weve got to tell her hes gone. (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Ross, shes gonna start getting ready soon!
(Phoebe and Ross go to look for Chandler and Rachel enters Monica and Chandlers.)
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Joey: Its not on my head.
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Joey: Hey! Youre here! Great! Great! Great! Lets get going buddy, weve got a scene to shoot!
Ross: We are never gonna find him! Hes one guy in a huge city!
Ross: Shes fine. She doesnt know youre gone. And she doesnt have to know, okay? Now come on, were going home.
Ross: Whats wrong with being the Bings?
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Chandler: I want to. I love her so much, but Im afr Its too huge.
Ross: (interrupting him) YeahNo-but-but-but-but! Were just gonna go home and take a shower. Now, thats not scary right?
Rachel: The nights are the hardest. (Checks her watch.) But then the day comes! And thats every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again
Rachel: I know. At dusk. Thats such a hard time for me.
Rachel: Lets go to lunch.
Monica: (entering) Whats going on?
Rachel: We cant find Chandler (Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)s vest. We cant find Chandlers vest.
The Director: Lets reset.
The Director: Lets take it from there.
Richard: (To Joey) Are you a little off today? Its going terribly slowly.
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
Rachel: Yeah, we got him back. Everythings fine.
Joey: I know! Im sorry! The guys drunk, they wont let me go until we get this.
[Scene: Chandlers Hotel Room, Ross is getting Chandler ready.]
Chandler: Yeah okay. Well, whats the next little bit?
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
Phoebe: Okay. Oh but dont tell them Monicas pregnant because, they frown on that.
(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and hes so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
[Scene: Monicas Hotel Room, Chandler and Monicas parents and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
Mr. Bing: But that was after the wedding, its not bad luck then.
Monica: I know! Hey, hows Chandler doin?
Ross: Great. Hes doing great. Dont you worry about Chandler.
Monica: Oh thats sweet. Dont touch me.
Phoebe: Whats going on?
Ross: Chandlers gone again!
Joey: Aaron! You gotta let me go. The guys hammered!
The Director: Im sorry Joey, as long as hes here and hes conscious were still shooting.
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
Joey: So I uh, I just talked to the director. Thats it, were done for the day.
Joey: So I got your car, its right outside.
Joey: Thats what you told me.
Joey: No-no-no! We gotta go! Come on! (Joey picks him up in a firemans carry and carries him out.) Here we go.
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
Chandler: (standing up) Thats right! Im not!
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Chandler: Monicas pregnant.
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
[Scene: The moment we waited for has finally arrived. Its time for Monica and Chandlers wedding. Weve got violins playing Every Breath You Take, weve got guests seated, and Chandler starts walking down the aisle with his parents on either arm.]
Monica: Shes right there.
Chandler: (in Monicas ear) Hes Greek Orthodox.
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Joey: Aw crap! Okayuh uh lets-lets do the rings.
(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each others fingers.)
{Transcribers Note: There was no trailer for this episode. See you in season 8; which will start this fall.}
Joshua: No, no, no, shes nice but, yknow, it just it made me realize that Im just not, Im just not ready to be dating, yknow?
The Director: Kate Millers awkward and mannered portrayal is laughable. (Kate walks away depressed.) Badda-badda-badda. Ah-ha! Here it is! The direction by Marshal Talmant is (stops, reads it again, and throws down the paper in disgust) Thank you, boys and girls, youve ruined my life. Please, stuff your talentless faces with my Mothers crab cakes! (starts to leave) Excuse me!!
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Rachel: Thats it. (She crawls onto the bed) Ow!!!
Chandler: All right, we havent had sex yet. Okay, whats the big deal? Yknow? This is special, and I want our love to grow until we move on to the next level.
Phoebe: That’s it? That’s why you won’t go out with her again? So, she took some fries, big deal!
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Rachel: Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey hows it, hows it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together?
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Well, thats because of a lot of (She imitates someone picking their nose and placing the treasure found in the pockets.)
Chandler: Hes right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
Phoebe: Okay, okay, but Rachels gonna be here too, cant I just ask her this stuff?
Kathy's Co-Star: Oh, yeah! Ooh, thats nice. (They start making out harder.)
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
(The camera cuts to Wayne whos busy making out with Sarah and rubbing C.H.E.E.S.E.s controller on her back causing C.H.E.E.S.E. to go crazy. Joey starts throwing books at C.H.E.E.S.E. to get him to stop.)
Rachel: Oh my God, look-look hes taking off her clothes!
Rachel: I love him. Hes so pretty I wanna cry! I dont know what to do. Tell me what to do.
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Chandler: Well its just my entire family was run out of Scotland by Vikings. Anyway, lots of bad memories. (Makes a few unintelligible noises.)
Ross: No-no-no, no, umm, actually American surprise parties are-are-are very short. Its usually, "Surprise!" And then, "Oh my God, Im so surprisedgood-bye!"
Phoebe: Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight As, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that ones outta here." Though some things dont change.
Kate: I think my characters gonna need a little bit more of reason than that.
Rachel: Yeah, pretty nice, huh? Now whos a pushover?
Monica: So what! As long as hes not wearing a white dress and a veil I dont care.
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Monica: You see that guy? Hes in classics now, but y'know as soon as we leave hes going straight to the porn.
Pete: Yeah, stupidly charming isnt it? Well listen lets, you wanna get something to eat? Cause this place is kinda depressing. (they start to leave)
Hilda: Thats right.
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and nothin. You look at me, and its nothin. (He kisses her) Nothing.
Cecilia: Oh that explains all the womens underwear.
Amanda: Let’s see.. to assure you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile.
Cecilia: No, he already knows that he owns everything in the room! Hes not finding it out for the first time! So, try it again.
[Ross and Chandler get up and go into Rachels old room.]
Ross: I made a man twice my size cry. I mean, I havent done that since I was four and I washed my dads Porsche with rocks.
Chandler: Well, youre gonna have to leave sometime, because you both have jobs, and as soon as you do, were switching it back! Theres nothing you can do to stop us! Right, Joe?
Ross: Awoh, thats right. Are-are you gonna be okay?
[Scene: Petes Restaurants Kitchen, Pete is showing Monica around the kitchen.]
Jill: Oh, thats so great! Okay, Im really gonna do this! I dont know how to thank you guys.
Joey: Yeah well, Im guessing after this shes not going to be crazy about electricity either.
Rachel: Oh come on, what are you talking about? Youve got three years painting houses. Two whole summers at T.G.I. Fridays, come on!
Phoebe: Shhh! Shhhh! Joeys asleep.
Ross: Mine stole my newspaper! Its like a crime wave!! (Monica runs to make more candy.) Pheebs, you uh, you got a second.
Chandler: Its not charity, Joe
Chandler: What?! Its not right! Were not ready to have a kid now!!
Chip: (on machine) Good runnin into you at the bank today, so ah, heres my number, 555-9323. Give me a call. Later.
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Michelle: It�s so amazing I met you the same day that Eric broke up with me, because it�s like you lose a boyfriend,you get a boyfriend.
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Ross: You let Rachel come back, and it’s done.
Joey: I was just gonna call you! That’s weird.
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. He’s there and Phoebe comes in.]
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Ross: Always a great way to get in a mans pants.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Rachel: N-it wasn�t easy, but it�s your birthday and I did what I got to do.
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Chandler: Honey, its 2:00 on a Wednesday and Im watching Road Rules, how stressed do you think I am?
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there�s a window open, a bird could fly in there.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, lets try some uh, aversion therapy.
Rachel: Ha! See, I knew, I knew youd get it on the first guess. Isnt it cool! Its an apothecary table.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! (Motions to Chandler, "Whats going on?") Hi, Paul is it? (Paul nods yes and still hugging Joey.)
[Scene: Joeys apartment, Joey is sitting at the counter as Chandler enters.]
Rachel: Oh but look! Thats gonna leave a stain!
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
Joey: Yeah! I stayed at Kates, but ah, nothing happened. Hey, Pheebs, where were ya?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.
[Scene: Rachels office, Tag and her are planning how to get the review back.]
The Porsche Owner: But its my car!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is there and is getting ready to direct a bunch of strippers, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe on what to do in the upcoming orgy of lesbian lust. Yes, its a dream sequence, this isnt cable.]
Rachel: Shes doing it Look, shes breast-feeding look!
Joey: Oh thats terrible. Im-Im really sorry.
(He hear a duck start quacking, and see it waddle into the living room from the bathroom. Joey wants to know whats with the duck.)
Parker: Look! Its the bunny hop!
Rachel: Ross, would you just stop it! Its getting really old.
Ursula: No, I umm, I read about her in Moms suicide note.
Rachel: What? Its true, my right leg is two inches shorter.
Chandler: Maybe its the sound of Ross climbing into my brain and stealing my thoughts.
[Cut to Rachels bedroom, Phoebe and her are entering. And its obvious that shes not packed.]
Chandler: What?! Im Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, thats Richard!
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
Ross: Oh no. Dad! Dad! What (He goes to open one of her boxes and it rips apart.) Oh God everythings ruined! Dad, shes gonna be crushed!
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Ross: I am so over Janine. I mean, yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now shes like OLD NEWS!
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
Rachel: Im sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and Im sorry but thats... (notices a fire that Rosss candle has started) Oh my God!!
Joey: Because its all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And Im not happy about you either. (The bread maker dings) Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you. (Joey walks into his bedroom and slams the door.)
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Rachel: Okay! (She picks up the phone, Joeys phone number, and starts to dial.) Here we go! Okay! (On phone.) Hi, Joey! Its Rachel! Umm, I am free tomorrow night. Yeah, sure, sure I can bring some sandwiches.
Ross: Ohh, God, nobody likes him, and hes so cheap, hed never fly to London in a million years. Yeah, invite him? Hey, did I do these neat enough? (Hands her some envelopes.)
Rachel: Its not a miracle Joey! Im sure theres some explanation.
Monica: Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, its happening!