words in movies
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
[Two guys walk over and interrupt her. Theyre both names youve already heard. Ones Billy Crystal. Yes, that Billy Crystal from City Slickers. The other one is Robin Williams. Yes, that Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire.]
Billy Crystal: Im sorry. Ex-excuse us. Im sorry, its a little crowded. Do you mind if we... (motions to the couch)
[cut to Monica telling the gang about what happened at Petes]
Robin: Why? Why?! Whats wrong with me?!
Billy: Whats the matter?
Robin: Well y'know, hes got access.
Robin: Y'know its that feeling you get, y'know?
Billy: Like when you go bowling and you know youre in somebody elses shoes?
Robin: Thats the one.
Phoebe: All right, so, so you went to Petes...
Robin: Why is this happening to me?! I dont know, maybe its my wound.
Billy: So its-its not heeled yet?
Robin: No-no, its ooozing, oozing. (to Rachel) Could you pass me the cream? Is there anyOh, theres the cream.
Billy: Its me, Ive been sleeping with your wife.
Monica: He wanted to tell me hes gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy.
Monica: I dont know exactly. Its-its sorta like wrestling.
Joey: And its not fake, its totally brutal.
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
Monica: So you can like, bite, and pull peoples hair and stuff?
Monica: Whats fish hooking?
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing a meeting with his boss.]
Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. Its good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, lets go out there and get em! Huh? And remember, there is no I in team.
Chandler: Yes, but theres two in martini, soo everybody back to my office.
Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! Whats your name?
Chandler: Oh its Bing, sir. Im sorry , I was just ah...
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Ross: (on phone) Thats right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.
Monica: I gotta tell ya, I think its okay to be that guy.
Joey: Yeah, maybe its like y'know, that jock thing. Y'know how football players pat each other after touchdowns. (pats Ross on the butt)
Phoebe: You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. Shes yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald...
Rachel: Oh! (laughs) Thats fine.
Hoshi: Its just hard when I know I have e-mail I cant get!
Phoebe: Yeah, she was bald, shes not now.
Phoebe: Oh no, Bonnies the best!
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is bent over getting some water as his boss approaches.]
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Chandler: Well, thats not true, he-he smacked you once.
Ross: Yeah, its the Ultimate Fighting Combo. Yeah, I saved thirty cents, plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!!
Announcer: From New York City, New York! Appearing in his Ultimate Fighting Championship debut! Hes known for his confrontational business style. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing Pete Beck-errrr!!
Announcer: And his opponent, from Hunnington Beach, California! Hes a 300 pound street fighter, Tank Abbottttttt!!!!
Monica: (going up to the ring) Pete! Pete!! That guys pretty huge!
Pete: Dont worry, Hoshi taught me how to use an opponents strength and weight against him.
Ross: All right! You go get him! Lets go!
Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, Yes.) Lets get it on!!
Monica: Hey! (she sits down next to him) Its me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you.
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Ross: Hey! How long until Petes fight?
Ross: What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasnt expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasnt expecting to like anyone right now, but shes really terrific.
Phoebe: Ohh, thats too bad!
Ross: Pheebs, I think shes great. Okay? Were going out again.
Chandler: (joining them) Hey! Which ones my turkey burger?
Joey: (sticking his head out the window) Hey, the fights starting!
Chandler: Nine times! Okay, I had to put on lotion! But, its gonna be okay, because as of tomorrow Im conducting an experiment, and if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack free.
Joey: (sticking his head out the window) Fights over!
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.]
Doug: Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) Thats okay, youre still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing!
Chandler: No, no. It-its not about the swearing, its more about ah, the way, that you ah, occasionally, concentrate, your enthusiasm on my buttock.
Chandler: Oh, and dont get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment. Its just that I, I have a rather, sensitive posterior, and ah, besides, its making all the other guys jealous.
Rachel: (seeing Ross and Bonnie inside Central Perk) Oh my God! Phoebe look, its Ross and that girl.
Phoebe: No! No! Look at that! (drags her away from the window) Its a line of ants! Theyre working as a team!
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Rachel: Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, hes gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.
Pete: Its okay, its not as bad as it looks, its a precaution. Ah, Im not supposed to move my spine.
Pete: Y'know I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm, and a severely bruised Adams Apple, but that really hurt.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing up a meeting with his boss and the rest of his team.]
Chandler: No. No, not at all, thats-thats ridiculous.
TV Announcer: Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, hes just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just...
Joey: Check it out, hes winning! (to Monica) Petes winning!
Phoebe: Wait, if thats his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it?
Rachel: Umm, well lets see Monica and Chandler are occupied.
The Director: Tasty! Im really starting to feel like you guys have a history, its-its nice.
Rachel: You wanna go in the bedroom? Its a little more comfortable.
Phoebe: Please, right now, no, every time I see him its like Is it on the lose? Is it watching me?
Dina: Look, Rachels told me how much easier youve made all this on her. Why cant you do that for me?
Phoebe: My moms gonna be here any minute. I cant do this, I cant give him up. Yesno, I can. I dont want to. But I can. No.
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Joey: Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valentes.
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
Monica: Why, whats wrong with my bathroom floor?
Joey: Well, not that its any of your business, but, no, we havent, okay?
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Monica: Thats a little more than I wanted to see.
Frank: Whens your birthday?
Phoebe: Wow, thats close. Whens yours?
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant, continued from earlier.]
Chandler: Thats right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding! Damnit!
Monica: So hows it going with you guys?
Rachel: Well, its about time.
Phoebe: So umm, now do you have any of Matt Lauers clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that havent been cleaned yet?
Girl: Thats my job!
Frank: Wait thats-thats, what thats not what you do?
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
Phoebe: Yknow she might not even notice hes gone.
Chandler: Its an old key!
Joey: Because its faster.
Joey: Wow, its big!
Ross: Uh, do you wanna go change first? The doctors keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry
Policeman: Thats Hanson.
Isabella: Y'know its ironic...
Phoebe: Yeah! Its so much better than first grade when you dont know whats going on and definitely better than third grade. Yknow with all the politics and mind games.
Joey: Hey, theres a dog out there!
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Phoebe: Its a video of my friend giving birth. Could you just bring it back to your apartment?
[Scene: Classroom. Joey is writing his name on the board, but turns around before hes done which causes him to write his name with a downward curve, and he then underlines it, and draws the line right through his name.]
Monica: Hes so cute.
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
[Scene: Monicas bedroom.]
Ross: (entering) Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctors appointment.
Mr. Douglas: Its pretty ugly. We havent seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.
Chandler: Lets go.
Eric: Thats weird.
Joey: Look, the point is, theres a lot of women out there you havent even had sex with yet!
Joey: Thats a uh, thats a tough combination.
Monica: (turning around) Okay, heres your penis!
Monica: Wheres your bed?
Chandler: Whats it about?
Phoebe: Okay, its okay.
Ross: My wifes a lesbian.
Phoebe: Whos singing?
Chandler: Yeah, its beautiful.
Rachel: (To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
Joey: Hey, did you get to the part where theyre trapped in the car and Cujos throwin himself at the windshield?
Monica: Whats the part?
Ross: Come on! Thats great.
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Chandler: Joey, its been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself.
Monica: You know what Id love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheeseNot even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries (Breathlessly) And pate. Oh, Im really not high, its just I used to be fat.
Rachel: Yeah. Thats Daddy.
[Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next to her and the cars still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and screams.]
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Monica: (sees the bed) Whats this?
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
Ross: Look, look Im sorry. Its just that....
Rachel: Well thats his last name.
Monica: Its never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.
Ross: Hey, you only heard Monica�s side of that. That little fatso was a terror.
Joey: Sure I do! Its a verb! As in, "I behalfin it!"
Joey: Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men, thats all. I mean, come on, its just a little wax.
Rachel: And I hope its not an inappropriate time to say this but, youre the best sex I ever had.
Carol: Its a little complicated.
Ross: Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, "No." So, hes sweeping. (We see Ben playing with a broom and a dustpan.)
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Joey: (goes over to Chandler) Hey buddy! Hows it going?
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
Phoebe: Hey lady, your days over! Its my turn!
Monica: (on phone) Okay, great! Bye. (Hangs up as Chandler enters.) So guess whos coming to Thanksgiving dinner?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Joey: Oh God. Uh, okay, heres the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is...
Rachel: Okay fine! Ill-Ill just tell her its an antique apothecary table, she doesnt have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
Rachel: Well, Ive been up since six. Thanks to somebodys dumb-ass rooster.
Rachel: Its gonna be up all night!
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
Chandler: Whats going on?
Rachel: So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Rosss, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now.
Ross: Ive gotta go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! (He hangs up and runs out.)
Chandler: Yeah, well. Its the right thing to do.
Phoebe: Ewww! Oh! Its the Mattress King!
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
Rachel: Oh, please tell me its not because Im going with Mark.
Phoebe: Hey, its your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
Joey: You got pregnant for funny?! Dina if hes funny laugh! All right, Ill be back in a little while! You stay here!
Rachel: I hope its still funny when youre in hell.