words in movies
Chandler: Okay, well tonights the big night.
Chandler: Shes not gonna say no.
(Monicas entrance makes Phoebe try to hide the ring by putting it in her mouth.)
Phoebe: Its gone.
Monica: Whats the big deal?
Joey: Hey, yknow what? Ill come too. Im making money now; its about time I give something back.
Ross: Im sorry, its just one of my last nights together before she leaves for campto be a counselor!
Joey: Thats not what she said last night. (Ross glares at him.)
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Joey: Its the big night! We wanted to wish you good luck!
Chandler: Okay, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and shes gonna know.
Monica: Oh, thank you! (The gang exhibits signs of quiet apprehension and wears knowing glances.) (Monica giggles.) Whats going on?
Phoebe: So now whats going on here?
Phoebe: No, I know what a silent is I meant, whats going on with your hair?
Phoebe: No! Its nice!
(Rachels boss, Mr. Thompson walks up.)
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Rachel: Thank you. (Mr. Thompson walks away and after hes left.) Okay, (writing her bid down) twenty dollars.
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Ross: Whats-whats going on?
Ross: Oh, you have to call the police! Thats what I did to the kids in my building!
Elizabeth: No, its a water balloon fight! We started it!
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
Ross: Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? Its-its gotten great reviews! Yknow the uh
Rachel: Well now its an empty bar.
Mr. Thompson: And finally, our biggest item of the night, the 22-foot gentlemans day sailer sailboat. The winning bid was a whooping $20,000! (Joey suddenly gets excited.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are sitting at a table. Monica is checking her makeup as Chandler suddenly has a horrifying thought and starts patting down his pockets until he finds what hes looking for and sighs in relief.]
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Monica: Ohh thats sweet!
(As hes talking Monica notices someone familiar has just entered the restaurant. Lets see; I seem to remember him driving a Ferrari in Hawaii solving crimes as a private investigator and as a certain eye doctor in more recent times.)
Monica: Oh my God, Richard. (Yep, Richards back.)
Chandler: What?! Im Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, thats Richard!
Monica: Hey, its good to see you!
Monica: YeahOh thats right. You, you always wanted me too. Hey, I see you got your mustache back.
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Richards Date: Hi, Im Lisa.
Monica: (to Richard) Its good to see you
Matire'd: (to Richard) Youre tables ready sir.
Chandler: Yes. (Thinking hes gone.)
Matire'd: (motioning to the empty table next to Monica and Chandlers) Or if you prefer, this table is available.
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
Mr. Thompson: Thats good. Very good! (Walks away.)
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
{Transcribers Note: For further reading on the above story, please check out The One Where Joey Moves Out.}
Richard: Its so great seeing you guys again. Id like to make a toast. (Everyone raises their glasses) Uh, as a poet once said, "In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures for in the due of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."
Ross: Oh my God, you guys!! (Hes excited about what he thought happened.)
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
Monica: Why dont you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean thats what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
Monica: Shes leaving for three months.
Ross: Okay, good stuff. Umm, well shes-shes sweet and pretty and
Ross: No! No! I didnt do that. Its just Okay, honestly no. I dont, I dont see a big future with her.
Monica: Okay well I think thats your answer.
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
{Transcribers Note: Please correct my French here.}
Mr. Bowmont: Thats me.
Joey: You-you have to pay that! Its not just a guess.
Joey: Are you kidding me?! Shes gonna this boat!
Rachel: Y-Yeah! What-what is your wifes name?
Mr. Bowmont: Its Pam.
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Mr. Bowmont: What the hell, its for a good cause! All right!
Joey: No way! Its mine!!
Phoebe: I wanna see whats in your hand. I wanna see the trash.
Phoebe: Eww! Oh, its all dirty. You should throw this out.
Monica: (suspiciously) Okay. (Exits to carry out Phoebes wishes.)
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
Chandler: Thats right, I can throw her off. I can make her think marriage is the last thing on my mind.
Joey: That guys still doing that?!
[Scene: Outside of Elizabeths dormitory, Ross is exiting after breaking up with her and we can hear his thoughts.]
Ross: Okay, break-ups still on!
Monica: Well thats a little crazy. Although I am yknow glad to hear that youre branching out on what you look at on the Internet.
Monica: Okay well thats good to know.
Joey: (all excited) The Mr. Bowmonts here!!! (Jumps over the back off the couch and runs out into the street.)
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants kitchen, shes cooking as a waitress sticks her head in.]
Waitress: Hey Monica, theres a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in?
Monica: Ohh Oh, thats okay I hate when people come back to complement the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So whats up?
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant, continued from earlier.]
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
Richard: Okay thats fine, Ill walk away. And Ill never bother you again, but only if you tell me Chandlers willing to give you everything I am.
Monica: Well he is! Yeah, I mean marriage is all he talks about! My goodness, in fact, Im the one thats making him wait!
Rachel: I mean Im probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And I mean whats 2%? Thats nothing.
Chandler: Sure I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean look at pigs. Lets take a second here and look at pigs. Okay pigs dont mate for life. I mean a pig can have like a hundred sexual partners in a lifetime, and thats just an ordinary pig not even a pig thats good at sports!
Monica: Yeah, but thats pigs not people!
Chandler: (to them) Its okay, I got a plan.
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Phoebe: Well hey, its just a backup.
Monica: Yeah, its great.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, whats the matter?! Talk to the captain!
Monica: Its not like I want to get married tomorrow! Its just that I-Id like to believe that Im in a relationship thats actually going somewhere, that Im not just wasting my time!
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
Joey: Maybe thats the problem.
Monica: (starts for the door) Well theres some people who do want to marry me.
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! (Monica nods yes.) And-and Chandlers tellin ya how much he hates marriage?!
Monica: Thats right.
Monica: You just told me that he hates marriage! That-that hes a-a complex fellow whos unlikely to take a wife! That-that hes against marriage and always will be!
(Theres a knock on the door, he shuts the TV off, and answers it.)
Rachel: Yeah, love. Its a tricky business isnt it?
Rachel: So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time were 40, we get married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and weve-weve already slept together so yknow therell be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No like, "Whats that?!"
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
Chandler: Hes not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! Im supposed to do that!
[Scene: Richards Apartment, hes smoking a cigar and reading a book as there is a knock on the door. He gets up and opens the door to reveal ]
Richard: Uh, no! No! Thats art! If it bothers you I can put my art out.
Monica: No thats, thats okay.
Richard: Yeah hes no good. Do you ever (pause) think about me in a (pause) non-eye doctor way?
Phoebe: Of course I can! Its just good sense to backup your backup! Look, Ive already lost Chandler!
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Joey: Okay thats fair.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
Monica: I missed this apartment! Now, this is a grown-ups apartment! Yknow, I-I should be with a grown-up, do you know what I mean?!
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Richard: I think thats fair.
Richard: Its okay! Shh! Hey. Hey. (Hugs her) Shhhh.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
Richard: Shes not here and please come in.
Joey: Shes gone.
Joey: Shes gone. She had a bag and she left.
Joey: To her parents I think and she said you shouldnt call her. But if I were you I would.
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Rachel: Oh hell, hes done this three times! He knows what its about!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
Rachel: (grabbing a beer out of the chairs fridge) I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself!
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
Joey: No-no-no, Im serious. You dont smell it? Somethings on fire.
Monica: Uh-oh, whats the matter?
Ross: Great! Great. Then I mustve left it at Monas. I knew it!
Monica: I think shes here.
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, its-its not the lecture ah, I mind, umm....
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
Chandler: (lying) Yes, but if its any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, Rachel getting into bed while Ross is reading and laughs.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake hes made with a woman.]
Monica: Ah, well if you dont clear this off, you wont be getting one of those from me. But Bens coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this cant be there.
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look. I take a girl out, she can order whatever she wants! The more, the better! All right? Just don’t order a Garden salad and then eat my food! That’s a good way to lose some fingers!
Phoebe: Shhh!! Please! Whats he saying?
Rachel: Im great! Im great. Ive got a great job at Bloomingdales, have wonderful friends, and eventhough Im not seeing anyone right now, Ive never felt better about myself.
Rachel: No, its Ross. Its Ross. You like Ross. (He just shakes his head.) Oh daddy, I hope youre okay with all of this. I mean think about it, this is a good thing. Youre gonnaThis is your first grandchild! Youre gonna be a poppy!
Ross: Nooo, but it, but its great.
Phoebe: (to Joey) Youre Franks best man?!
Kate: Well, I dont understand why Adriennes attracted to Victor.
Rachel: Yknow what? No. Its not over until someone says, "I do." (Exits)
Trudie Styler: You must be Bens mum.
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Joey: (sticking his head out the window) Hey, the fights starting!
Rachel: Ummm, I think its time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out and they all scream)
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
Monica: Nooo! No, thats not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world! (She turns out the light to go back to sleep.)
Monica: Come on Rach, come on. Lets see whats it like to be on a winning team for a change.
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Ross: I justI-I cant believe shes-shes dating?!
Rachel: Oh my God! The millionaires here!
Rachel: (taking the brush back) Okay. Lets use this brush. (Hands him another one.)
Ross: Uh actually Joey, its the Cretasous period.
[cut to Phoebe Sr.s house, from the last episode]
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Joey: Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)
[Scene: The Doctors office, Dr. Zane is examining Phoebe as Frank and Alice watch.]
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
Rachel: Tommys supposed to be here soon, were going to lunch.
Ross: Yeah, its hard okay, I only have two spots left.
Chandler: Hey, come on, its not your fault.
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Ross: You know, I think that�s a good idea�our babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnet. (both get up) Bye, y�guys.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Phoebe: Yes, and Im sorry. I-I know things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but thats very rare.
Phoebe: Lets try something else, lets play a game.
Rachel: Thats right! You do what the hand says!
Ross: Oh, yeah, that would be me, um, I have, I have a problem I-I tip way too much, way, way, too much, its a sickness really.
Ross: Hey Chandler, theres a party tomorrow, youll feel better then.
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Paul: (jumping up) Elizabeth! Oh look, Elizabeths here! Who are you talking to?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, David has a cab waiting to take him to the airport and hes saying goodbye to Phoebe.]
Monica: Thats-thats not Phase Three.
Rachel: (motioning to a rack) So now, these are all the tuxedos that we make and if theres anything that you like, we can make you a deal. Anything at all. (Grabs a few) But these are the three that Monica pre-approved.
Ross: But-but, Liams on my team.
Conan: And then it just builds on itself and theres no doing the scene after. I mean you probably wait and really get it together and do it.
Monica: Honey, we were at this beautiful place, and I-I-I just put our names down for fun! I mean, whats the harm in that?
Phoebe: All right, all right, well just do our best. Okay? So lets say Im the interviewer and Im meeting you for the first time. Okay. "Hi! Come on in, Im uh, Regina Philange."
Joey: Okay, and ah, this one here is a Douglas Fir, now its a little more money, but you get a nicer smell.
Ross: Good! Me neither! So its not a problem. Were just two friends who happen to be roommates.
Phoebe: Ohh, thats too bad!
Cassie: Ill always remember that summer, because its when I got all of these freckles. (She pulls her blouse open to show him her shoulder and bra strap.)
Ross: I know. Thats why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
Joeys Sister: So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Rachel: Yeah, I-I heard. (Pause, everyone looks at each other, waiting for Rachels reaction.) I think its great! (Hugs Ross.) Ohh, Im so happy for you!
Phoebe: Yeah. And, first heres a gift.
Joshua: Oh great! (He tries on the coat.) Wow! Yeah, its comfortable.
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Rachel: Well, it was all Rosss idea.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is coming back in with his coat on.]
Robin: Y'know its that feeling you get, y'know?
The Woman: Hi! Im sorry, I know its after hours but I really need candy.
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Ross: Why not? Its built into the price of the room.
Rachel: Hes not 11!
Tommy: Whats in the cup, Ross?
Rachel: Okay, its justand this is really embarrassingbut lately with this whole pregnancy thing Im just finding myself how do I put this umm, erotically charged.
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
Mona: Hi! Hi. Hi, Rachel! (to Ross) Whats she doing here?
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
Rachel: No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I cant! I cant do it! (Starts to freak out.) Its just gonna freak me out!!!
Joey: Hey Monica its Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin from your apartment.
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes lost it. Hes totally lost it.
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment, all are there.]
[Cut to Chandlers bedroom.]
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Joey: Hey! Youre here! Great! Great! Great! Lets get going buddy, weve got a scene to shoot!
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
Joey: Yeah, it is. Its really tough. Yknow sometimes I thinkWow!! Nice move!
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
[Scene: Joeys work, selling Christmas trees.]
Rachel: Okay, well that�s now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Chandler: Maybe thats because soy-burgers suck!
The Doctor: Thats it.