words in movies
Ross: Oh hey, show them the picture of your uterus.
[Scene: Joey's at the game show "Pyramid" with host Donny Osmond.]
[Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
Emily: Oh, well, Ill show you around.
Joey: Oh, ahh, go to the window. Im wanna run down to the truck and show you something.
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
Mr. Geller: Let's show 'em.
Ross: I just, I dont understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Yknow, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that shed actually show up?
LITTLE BULLY: Actually, you know, uh, I gotta show this apartment tomorrow and uh, you know, this no faces thing might not be a bad idea.
Helena: Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) Its raining men!
Rachel: Definitely! Phoebe, you will not find a single game show host, whos ass I cannot kick.
Janice: (leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, Im gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. Its a real space saver.
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Rachel: No-no, that wasnt me! (To Joshua) Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. (Joshua turns at that) The selection of underwear we carry.
JOEY: C'mon show us what you bought. . . You know you want to.
Chandler: I just wanted to show Monica your book. (Ross just glares at him.)
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Joey: Youre right. (Mouths, "I know youll show me, right?)
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
Rachel: (awestruck, then not) Isnt that a line from the show?!
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
[Scene: The casting directors office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.]
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
[Scene: Library. Ross show up with a MonkeyShine Beer poster.]
Joey: Hey! Look, if it didnt work its because you didnt tell it right! Show me how you did it.
Ross: Alright, alright. We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee.
[Scene: The game show studio. Joey and Gene are sitting in the winner circle.]
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
Rachel: Come on, show me.
Kiki: And while we're on the subject of news.. (She holds up here finger to show off her engagement ring and they all scream again.)
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
CHANDLER: I'm hoping that when Bob doesn't show up, she will seek comfort in the open arms of the wry stranger at the next table.
Joey: (on phone) Hey! Did Chandler show up yet?
Joey: Oh wow Wayne, its not really something you can teach yknow? Its pretty much something youre born with if you(Off Chandlers look)You-you can teach it! Ill show you right how to do it.
Susan: That would be great! Also, uh, I was hoping to catch a show so if you can make any suggestions
Mrs. Bing: Oh, you watched the show! What'd you think?
{Transcibers note: In case youre wondering, and I know you are. Their names are all back to normal. Just in a slightly smaller font than usual to allow Courteney Cox Arquette to fit on one line and not be smaller than the rest of their names. Now, on with the show }
(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)
Rachel: (speaking to herself and reading Cosmopolitan) Oh, lucky me! Coffee and a live sex show!
Ross: Let me see! Show them!
Phoebe: Mike knows I'm coming, and if I don't show up he'll think it's because of him! And I don't want to lose face! That's a very serious thing in my culture.
Ross: Show them to me!
Monica: Oh, that was our favourite game show ever!
Cliff: Im telling you! The guy from that show was here in my room, asking me all these weird questions!
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
MONICA: Well, I just caught the live show.
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Ross: Yeah-uh-huh. Tomorrow night, Valentines Day, the most romantic day of the year. Who knows what could happen? I might not be shutting my drapes to show her my slides, if you know what I mean.
David: Where the story was that I was anticipating that I would be around to hear my sons first words spoken. But the scene was about that he wasnt supposed to be able to speak and, uh for some reason when we started doing the show
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
Rachel: Yeah, it's a real shame you can't make it to that one-woman show tonight.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself.
Joey: I set her up with this actor on my show.
Chandler: What are you, what are you gonna show me my clothes?
JOEY: 'Cause it's a television show.
ALL: Yeah, show it. Show it. The nubbin, the nubbin, the nubbin.
Monica: (That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!
CHANDLER: You don't like that show?
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
[Everyone gasps. The show ends.]
PHOEBE: So why don't ya show us the rest of your casa?
(Rachel lets her anger show too. Hideously embarrassed, the doctors drain their glasses in the vicious pause which follows. The telephone rings, but the girls just glower at each other, silently daring the other to move first. Finally both guys jump up, and Michael wins.)
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. (on the screen there’s written ‘Julie, will you marry me?’ and goes on to show a guy kneeling down in front of a girl holding out a ring to her)
Mr. Geller: What? Dr. Wilson's an artist! He removed my mole cluster. Wanna see? (He starts to show her as the doorbell rings.)
Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows).
Phoebe: I know her! I bought homemade soap from her at a Dead show!
Mike: Well... I'll... just show you what I'm gonna do about it... (he hits David's finger with his finger and they start to finger-fight using their fingers as swords saying all kinds of macho crap)
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
RACHEL: So, he's on the show, he knows what happens.
Joey: Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking... I should probably do something with it.
Ross: All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you--I will show how well I flirt. Yeah! I will, I will get her phone number! (To Chandler) And not the one on the menu!
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
LIPSON: Yes, and come see the bird show at 4. The macaws wear hats. Well it's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died.
[Sequence 4: Ross hikes the ball to Chandler, and the camera pans down to show Rachel standing deep in the end zone, playing with her gum. Something hits her on the head and she looks up to see where it came from.]
Matt: And then sometimes during the show yknow but youre like, the scenes going one way but youre just tempted to say something another time. Like, do you remember that one where Monicas baking cookies in our old apartment?
Monica: Lets get the show on it!
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Ross: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?
Joey: All right look, let me show you the catalog! (Does so.) See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!
Joey: Oh no, I cant go. Im practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
Phoebe: Or we could just follow your clever jokes any ideas? No! Didnt think so! Okay, cmon guys, show us where the presents are!
Susan: So he's got a doll? So what? Unless you're afraid he's gonna grow up and be in show business.
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?
CHAN: One. . . two. . . two and a half. OK, just show me one of them.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Maitre d': Mr Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table.